Fluffette
Joined 20th Nov, 2018 ·
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- Psyga315 · 6k words · 11 3 · 591 views
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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You're off to a good start. I feel you've captured the atmosphere very well.
I think the story is good, but I felt you've combined the first three chapters into one. Shorten the parts where Sunset explores the heavenly environment, and speed up the part where she finds the halo.
So I take it Sunset will eventually find out she's not alone, after all?
And so, another adventure begins. And we're off to a good start, too! I look forward to seeing Sunset resolve her confusion.
I like the way you use echos. It really does help the scene feel large and empty. Also, I was not expecting that brief run in with physics. Oof.
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I wonder what's at the bottom. Other than the mystery temple, of course.
9754639
Hopefully, the truth.
Legit enjoying this so far, though of course there's not a ton to go off of yet.
Well if Sunset is in Supernaturals version of Heaven...then yes
Huh
Huh
And now she's starting to figure it out...
This is neat so far. I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.
This be good! Real good! you doing all right there?
One of the best stories I have read
You can has review!