• Published 12th Oct 2019
  • 16,484 Views, 70 Comments

Frenemies... With Benefits - Jade Ring



Cozy Glow walks in on her comrades "wrestling." Awkwardness ensues.

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Wrestling

The common dining area of the structure that Grogar referred to as the ‘Palace of Doom’ was silent, the air filled with tense energy and an almost palpable nervousness. Three figures, Equestria’s greatest threats, sat around the room’s sole stone table. Two of the figures, the larger ones, sat side by side on the one side of the table. The third, the smallest, was seated on the opposite side.

It was Cozy Glow who spoke first. She focused her gaze on her two compatriots, even as they pointedly looked away from each other. “So… you were wrestling?”

“Yes. Wrestling.” Lord Tirek muttered, nodding his head sagely, his large forearms folded across his chest. “For dominance.” He glanced at the changeling beside him. “Isn’t that right?”

“Of course we were. What else could we have been doing?” Queen Chrysalis cut her eyes at the centaur for only an instant, and then she resumed staring a hole through the wall.

Cozy Glow looked back and forth between the pair. “You’re acting weird.”

“I’ll not have my behavior mocked by one such as you!” Chrysalis snapped, turning her attention to the pegasus filly. “You know what’s weird? Going into someone’s room without knocking.”

“I needed to talk to Tirek about our plans with the bell.” Cozy Glow rolled her eyes. “How was I supposed to know that you two were… busy.”

“Busy wrestling.” Tirek added.

“Wrestling. Right. Got it.”

Chrysalis glared at the filly. “There was clearly a sock hanging on the door-knob.”

The pink filly stared at the changeling. “…which means what, exactly? That Tirek is really bad at laundry?” She cut her eyes at the centaur. “Why do you have socks anyway?”

“…I’m allowed to feel comfortable from time to time.”

“The sock hanging off the door-knob is a time honored symbol that the individuals behind said door are busy f… wrestling.” Chrysalis snapped. “It’s common courtesy to at the very least knock when you see a sock on someone’s door!”

“We’re the three greatest villains in Equestrian history!” Cozy Glow threw her hooves in the air. “Since when do we care about courtesy?!” She pointed at herself. “Also; I’m just a kid. How am I supposed to know anything about ‘time honored symbols?’”

“In hindsight, this all could’ve been avoided if you’d let me lock the door.” Tirek muttered in Chrysalis’ direction.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Chrysalis snarled. “I don’t recall you saying anything at the time.”

“My mouth was occupied!”

“So was mine!”

“Occupied with what?” Cozy Glow interjected.

“With verbal challenges to a wrestling match!” Tirek nearly roared at the filly. “For evil’s sake, Cozy Glow, try to keep up!”

“I’m trying!” The filly’s wings buzzed in irritation. “But you two are acting super weird! I know Chrysalis is upset because she was losing, but that’s no excuse…”

“I’m sorry, what?” Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. “I was not losing.”

Cozy Glow blinked slowly. “Then why was Tirek on top of…?”

“Because I allowed him to be!” Chrysalis nearly screamed, the faintest trace of a blush on her exoskeleton. “If you’d have walked in a few minutes earlier, then you would’ve seen me on top.” She saw Tirek’s expression and recovered quickly. “Because it was a two out of three falls match!”

“Exactly!” Tirek nodded frantically. “All villainous wrestling matches for dominance are two out of three falls. It’s the only way to be fair.”

Cozy Glow frowned and looked back and forth between the pair. “So… who won?”

“I did. I won.” Chrysalis chanced a smirk at the centaur across from her. “Twice.”

Tirek returned the smirk. “Really?”

Cozy Glow tapped the table to regain their attention. “So… Chrysalis won two of the three falls? Am I on the right track?”

“More or less.” Tirek grunted.

“So… she won the contest of dominance. Does that mean she’s in charge now?”

Chrysalis grinned. “Of course I am. I am a queen, after all.”

“Then… if you’d already won, why were you on the bottom?”

“…Lord Tirek is a sore loser.” Chrysalis chuckled at the look on Tirek’s face.

“So, correct me if I’m wrong, but does that mean that I could challenge you for dominance…?”

“No!” Both Chrysalis and Tirek stated emphatically.

“Aw, but I thought we were all in this together…” Cozy Glow pouted.

“Wrestling for dominance is for adults only, Cozy Glow.” Tirek said as gently as he could to the young villain.

“But why?”

“It’s complicated.” Tirek reached out and patted his recently adopted daughter-figure on the head. “I’ll explain everything when you’re older.”

“Promise?” Cozy Glow smiled under the paternal attention.

“I promise.” Tirek returned the smile before looking back over at Chrysalis. “We both will.”

Chrysalis snorted and rolled her eyes before ultimately nodding in acquiescence.

Satisfied for the moment, Cozy Glow looked to the former queen of the changelings. “I’m sorry I came in without knocking.”

Chrysalis considered the apology before nodding her head. “Just make sure you knock next time. Just because we’re evil doesn’t mean we can’t have good manners.”

“Next time?” Cozy Glow cocked her head in confusion. “Are you guys gonna be wrestling again?”

“Oh yes. Quite soon, too.” Tirek grinned at Chrysalis. “I haven’t won yet, remember? And I’m a… what did you call me Chrysalis? Oh yes; a sore loser.”

“Anytime, anyplace.” Chrysalis bared her teeth, only her hooded eyes and vibrating wings betraying her true excitement.

“Well, I’m going to go over that spell book some more.” Cozy Glow’s wings lifted her into the air and she floated off towards her room. She looked back at Tirek. “Story later?”

“Of course.” Tirek waved at her as she flew down the passage. When he heard her door shut at last, he turned his gaze to Chrysalis. “That was too close.”

Chrysalis chuckled. “I don’t understand the need for such subterfuge. Why should we care if the parasite caught us?”

“Because the ‘parasite’ sees me as a father-figure now. If she knew what we were actually up to, it would complicate things. Especially for you. She might get it in her head that you could be a potential mother-figure, and we both know you don’t want that…”

“And how do you know that?” Chrysalis asked casually.

Tirek looked at her sharply. “Oh please. You clearly hate her.”

“So did you, if I recall.” Chrysalis stared at the table. “But… I don’t know. Maybe she’s growing on me. Maybe… maybe I miss feeling like a mother.”

Tirek reached across the table and took the changeling’s chin in his hand. He turned her face to his and smiled gently. “You didn’t come to me for simple pleasure, did you?”

“Of course not.” Chrysalis smirked. “I was hungry, too. Centaur love tastes just as sweet as any other creature’s.”

Tirek growled as he pulled the changeling’s face closer to his own. “You aren’t the first queen I’ve bedded, you know.”

“I know.” Her tongue darted out and touched his lips before she snapped her fangs at him. “But I will be the last.”

“That rematch may come sooner than you expected, your majesty.” The centaur whispered roughly. “I haven’t won yet, remember?”

“Like I told you before, Lord Tirek.” Chrysalis could taste his breath now. “Anytime. Anyplace.”

“Right here.” Tirek’s eyes narrowed. “Right now.”

Their lips met in a blaze of furious passion. Chrysalis squealed as she was lifted from her seat and lowered to the table’s surface. Her hooves encircled the centaur as his hands travelled across her body, pulling her closer and tighter against him. Their kisses became that much more heated as they moved together, aligning their bodies until…

“Hey guys! I just found something in the book that might help us and…” Cozy Glow mouth snapped shut as she froze at the room’s threshold. She took a step back from the piercing gazes of the two older villains on the table. “You can’t be mad. There’s no door to knock on…”

“I’ll knock on your door, you little brat!” Chrysalis cried, blasting out from under Tirek and giving chase as the filly screamed and bolted back the way she came.

Tirek sat heavily back in his seat, huffing in irritation as he rested his face in his hands. “I’ll win next time.” He muttered. “Next time.”

Comments ( 70 )

I love this. This is amazing. I didn't know I needed this but I really did.

That was absolutely hilarious and adorable.

NVC
NVC #3 · Oct 12th, 2019 · · ·

Please continue this story. I love the interactions between these three and I love the idea of them being a dysfunctional family of super-villains. Plus it would be really interesting to see what others might think of this when/if they find out.

I loved the first one and I am so happy if got a sequel

I liked the banter. Kind of a cliche scenario, but it was done really well. Nice work!

Honestly, she's right. There wasn't a door, you have nobody to blame but yourselves.

This was really nice. It created a good family dynamic for the three villains that I would actually like to see more of.

I giggling like an idiot, I love it all

They're such a messed up family, it's very interesting to watch from a distance. Evil Mom and Evil Dad and Evil Kid. Hope we see more of them.

That was hilarious. Maybe a little cliche for the whole "We don't want the kid knowing we were having sex" trope, but the little evil 'twist' was great.

*slowly places a hoof on face* i did (not) see that one coming^^"

That picture cracks me up. The glassy eyed stare both chrysalis and cozy have.

This always leaves one wanting more.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Chrysalis snarled. “I don’t recall you saying anything at the time.”

“My mouth was occupied!”

“So was mine!”

“Occupied with what?” Cozy Glow interjected.

“With verbal challenges to a wrestling match!” Tirek nearly roared at the filly. “For evil’s sake, Cozy Glow, try to keep up!”

OH MY!

oh.... OOOOHHH! I just realized why Tirek has socks.... ewwww...:pinkiesick:

Could have been worse. Imagine if at the end Grogar walked in instead.

OH GOD WHY DIDN'T JUST PLAY BRAWLHALLA

So... she makes him rock hard?

Yay! Sequel to my favorite villain family fic is here!

I like how you pulled the classic 'adults doing private adult things and the kid can't know' thing and put a twist on it with bits of evil thrown in. It was hilarious! :rainbowlaugh:

Tirek being concerned about how Cozy views him now would affect Chrysalis if Cozy caught them doing naughty stuff is cute beyond all heck. 😍

Yeeeahhh, they really should've thought that through better. The kitchen is, like, the only room in that lair without a door. :facehoof:

Great! I'd be interested in a third installment of this series. The most interesting idea would be if other ponies found out about their new family dynamic and react to them being a family, or the three of them going to confront Cozy's ex-parents. Either of those would be my ideal third installment. Regardless of a third installement or not, this story gets my upvote!

9879664
Thank you for putting that image in my head. I'm gonna go bleach my eyes now.

This was freaking awesome!

I hope for a sequel. i wanna know if chrysalis ever becomes that mother-figure for cozy glow, i wanna read moments they act like a family.
I hope to see more of this dynamic.
PS. this is an awesome fic

9879682
He would just be thankful they were busy rather than annoying him.

I kinda expected Cozy to catch them and ask, "You guys fuckin' again already?"

9881181
Me too. The way she says

“Wrestling. Right. Got it.”

You just know, Cozy knows what is going on but is basically just having fun and being like, "I'm gonna see how far these idiots go to lie."

WTF did I just read and why was it so enjoyable!?:rainbowlaugh:

9881504
I can totally see her doing that, the little shit.

9881504
Definitely. Even if she *isn't* a demon in pony form, which I doubt? Her I'm Just A Kid line is always obviously an excuse. Same here. She knew *exactly* what that sock meant and went in anyway.

And then they invite the hydra for a... I dunno even how to describe it! :fluttershbad:

I love this messed-up, evil not-family. I must have more!

Hoho looks like things are getting spicey in the Fortress of doom

This is actually rather cute. And in all fairness, I wouldn't begrudge them this ending.

Thanks to the finale, Tirek is now perpetually rock-hard.

:rainbowlaugh:

Wrestling is fun!

need more, please

I love this evil family dynamic. It's like how the Simpsons used to be, but way more fucked up.

This was hysterical, and now I can't help but wish there was a sequel. XD

Next thing you know, we'll be getting a 'Dear Cozy Glow' to go right along with the Crusader stories of the same vein. It'd be great!

How the writers decided to deal with these 3 depresses me.

This is so much better than what we got.

You have no idea how happy I am to finally have found a Chrysirek fic (And a suggestive one at that).

“You can’t be mad. There’s no door to knock on.” That made me laugh more than it probably should of had xD
Chrissy and Tirek gettin’ it ON

9903108
Conclusion to the trilogy is coming soon!

9903295

I do hope the sequel comes out soon. I loved this as much as the first one. Perhaps our little Cozy will be getting parent-figures soon?

Well if nothing else Discord will need to air the lair out next time he stops by.

I’m sure Tirek will get his chance at a rematch at the next pay per view.

9909627
He better get his championship belt back!

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