• Published 12th Oct 2019
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My Life As A Royal Changeling - Tangent



A middle aged brony finds herself inexplicably replacing Chrysalis as the new queen of the hive a few decades before a certain pony prophesy comes to fruition. Now the new queen must decide what direction to take the kingdom she inherited..

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Chapter 9

Queen Whatevra Wa’Nabe ended up going over a few of her upcoming plans with Cloak, Dagger, and Veil, three of Gandahar’s top spies who had only just recently returned to the hive-spire to confirm the regime change for themselves. That they each accepted the new Queen once meeting her was only a little surprising to Whatevra by this point, and even that much was because these were highly competent infiltration specialists whom she had half expected to be more suspicious of her.

Then again, Queen Whatevra’s subjects did a lot of things that didn’t quite make sense to her.

“Okay, Veil, I want you to do some research on Equestria’s entertainment industry. Find out where their best schools for actors, dancers, singers, and other performing artists are, what their enrolment fees are, and then return to the hive with a compiled list. Once you return, I should have several prospective infiltrators and gatherers ready for you to interview and place in the most appropriate school under assumed identities. Include yourself in that list.”

“Yes, my Queen. May I ask why?”

“You may.”

After a moment’s waiting, Veil spoke again. “What is the purpose of this mission? Performers are usually too high profile to replace for long periods. Their skills tend to be too specialized and specific to fake for long.”

“That’s why you aren’t going to be replacing anypony. The cover identities and backgrounds will all be created by Bookworm, and you will all be attending as actual students of those schools. Ponies throw a lot of free love at performers, so we’re going to try placing some changelings as actual performers to see if the return investment is worthwhile.”

“I will not fail, my Queen!”

“See that you don’t.” Turning her attention to the other two, the Queen continued. “Cloak, Dagger, I want you two to select a small unit to train up as a free-range ninja party force.”

“My Queen?” Dagger asked, tilting her head in confusion.

“Unhappy ponies make for poor yields,” Whatevra explained. “If we had a covert team of free-range ninja party planners, they could seek out the places where ponies seem to be particularly unhappy and BAM! Instant party!”

“My Queen?” This time it was Cloak who tilted his head in confusion.

“Okay, maybe some more research needs to be done to see if this is even viable. Or, for that matter, for you to understand what I’m going for. In fact, why don’t you go out and find a party planning pony and covertly observe them for a while until you have an idea of what I’m trying to go for here. Just don’t spend more than a year doing so.”

“Yes, my Queen!” Cloak and Dagger responded, happy that they were at least going to be given a chance to study what a party planning pony even was before starting whatever their main mission actually turned out to be.

“Dismissed.”

As the three left the Intelligence room, Queen Whatevra Wa’Nabe went back to perusing the various reports. She still had no idea as to what to do about the various creatures held in the pod chambers. Some were criminals from their respective lands of origin, but others were simply ponies or other creatures who, for whatever reason, had been easy and convenient to pod and replace. Some of them had been there for decades already, or even longer, weathering the ravages of time as few others outside of a pod could, tended by specially trained caretakers who monitored their health and emotional output.

The love gathered in this way was far from the best possible quality, but it was steady enough to make up for any shortfall from gathering operations. And, from the records, it seemed that the gatherers were always falling short on the love needed by the hive, so it wasn’t like Whatevra could just have them all released and be done with it. Sure, it was probably morally wrong to just keep them podded indefinitely, but it was also morally wrong to allow her subjects to starve and for the moment those prisoners were part of the delicate influx of love that kept everyling fed and healthy. Maybe once the gatherers had more efficient methods of bringing greater amounts of raw love in…

“My Queen.”

“Yes, Humblebee?”

“Copy Paste said that Captain Mayem is on the scarab-comm. Apparently somepony by the name of Moonbeam is awake and ready to speak with you.”

“Excellent! Have someling tidy these up and file them properly. I’ll go over them again later.”

“At once, my Queen.”

*O o O o O*

Moonbeam fidgeted as she waited by the large rock the beetle-like talismans had been placed on. She was mildly embarrassed and ashamed with herself for fainting at the appearance of her rescuers. Sure, they might look like some sort of horrific amalgamation of insect and pony, and the holes in their legs were really disturbing the more she thought about them (so stop thinking about them, dammit!), but thus far they had done nothing but keep her safe and comfortable…

And maybe root through her stuff, but apparently that was just Flake being too curious for her own good, as Moonbeam had awoken to Moth scolding the flustered changeling and ordering her to put everything back the way she had found it.

It helped that she wasn’t being held against her will. In fact, she was explicitly informed that, while their queen would like to speak with her, she was free to go any time she wanted to, although she was likely to have at least a small escort for as long as she was within their kingdom. Which was really something of a relief, if Moonbeam was to be honest with herself, given the existence of giant pony-eating worm-things and presumably other monsters she hadn’t been aware of.

“...do you think the tiny statues are for?” Moonbeam overheard Flake ask what she assumed was another changeling as their wanderings once again brought them within earshot.

“They are called figurines,” a different voice responded. “Like those things Bookworm uses for her O&O sessions.”

“Ah. Training aids then,” Flake concluded. “They must be for a more specific set of scenarios then, since there were tiny buildings and market stalls as well. Maybe she’s a traveling teacher or consultant of some sort?”

“Who knows. It’s not like either of us is an expert on pony culture. I’ve only been to Kludgetown, and you’ve never even been across the border.”

“You don’t have to be rude about it, Waterbug,” Flake complained.

“Actually…” the one now identified as Waterbug paused for a moment. “Yes. Yes I do have to be rude. I have a huge backlog of snark to get through, and I’m falling behind on my quota every day.”

“Really? That’s a thing?”

“Calamity assigned you to me as punishment, didn’t she?”

“She did?” Flake asked, her voice beginning to fade as the pair began to wander out of earshot once again. “Nothing we’ve been told to do has been particularly onerous…”

Moonbeam wasn’t even sure if either of them knew that they had passed close enough for her to hear them so clearly, as neither of them had passed through the chamber she was waiting in. Her attention was then drawn back to the talismans as they began to vibrate and make a sort of glingle-ingle-ingle sound.

“Ah, that will most likely be our Queen.”

“GAH!” Moonbeam cried out in alarm at Captain Mayhem’s announcement. “Sorry! Sorry! I sort of forgot that you were there…” Oh, this was sooooooooo embarrassing!

Saying nothing, Mayhem simply tapped on each of the talismans once, then sat back as an image of what Moonbeam presumed to be their queen’s head and withers was projected into the air above them. Unlike the captain or any of the other changelings she had seen thus far, their queen was a bit closer to a pony in appearance, with a long, teal mane, somewhat normal(ish) green eyes, and a much longer (and very twisted) horn. She was actually almost hauntingly beautiful, albeit in a manner that was both exotic and disturbing.

“Captain Mayhem,” the image spoke briefly.

“My Queen,” the changeling actually present replied with a bow of her head.

“And you must be Moonbeam,” the changeling queen spoke again.

“Ah... yes! That’s me, your majesty!” Moonbeam desperately tried to remember if she was supposed to bow to foreign royalty.

“I am Queen Whatevra Wa’Nabe, Sovereign Ruler of Gandahar. You may address me either as ‘your Majesty’ or Queen Whatevra if you do not feel like using my full name.”

“My Queen!” Captain Mayhem sounded scandalized.

“Captain, unless and until Moonbeam emigrates and becomes a citizen of Gandahar, she’s not one of my subjects. Different rules apply.”

“Acknowledged, my Queen,” Captain Mayhem begrudgingly conceded.

Turning her attention back to Moonbeam, Queen Whatevra continued. “Now, what brings a pony into the Umbradepths?”

“Umbradepths, your Majesty?”

“That’s the name of the extensive cavern system beneath Gandahar. They go pretty deep and extend quite a ways in all directions, even past our borders in some locations.”

“Well, I was following an interesting magic signature I detected while I was passing through Weedville.”

“Weedville?”

“Weedville is a small pony community near our border, my Queen.”

“Thank you, Captain. Please continue, Moonbeam. You said that you were following a magical signature?”

“Yes.”

“And it led you into the caverns under Gandahar.”

“Well... sort of? I lost the trail whenever I passed into the Badlands itself, but kept picking it up again once I returned to Equestria. Then I managed to follow the signature into this cavern system, but I still lose it as I pass through certain areas.”

“At a guess, I’d expect that this occurs whenever the tunnels you are passing through rise high enough to fall within the Shield of Gandahar.”

“Shield of Gandahar?” Moonbeam asked, having never heard of it before.

“It’s the anti-magic field that covers all of Gandahar.”

“Oh! That!” Moonbeam exclaimed. “I guess it doesn’t penetrate too deep underground then?”

“Think of the underground portion of the field more like a shallow dish or bowl, as opposed to the dome it is aboveground. It goes deep enough, but becomes more shallow near the edges of our domain.”

“So the anti-magic effect doesn’t propagate as well through dense mediums,” Moonbeam reasoned.

“That is correct,” the changeling queen confirmed. Granted, if it penetrated as far into the ground as the changelings implied, then Moonbeam supposed that the material had to be really thick as well to hinder the effect. Strong walls, even an entire city’s worth of such walls, probably wouldn’t be enough to do so.

Moonbeam blushed as she realized that the changeling queen was just looking at her. And Captain Mayhem seemed agitated, but Moonbeam couldn’t tell if this was directed at her or the queen. “Ah…”

And now the queen looked amused. Great. Moonbeam was making such a wonderful first impression. For her next trick, she was going to step on the tail of some foreign diplomat from Abyssinia or Zebrabe or something!

“Relax,” the queen instructed. “Draw in a deep breath and release it slowly. Repeat this a few times if needed. It should help you release your anxiety and regain your focus.”

This advice did, in fact, seem to help, and Moonbeam felt a lot better by her third repetition.

“Okay, now that you have gathered yourself, let’s talk,” Queen Whatevra Wa’Nabe began again. “Given that you are travelling alone, and have left Equestria in pursuit of a magical signature that has caught your attention, I take it that you are either an adventurer, a scholar of magic, or possibly both?”

“Um… I’ve studied magic at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns,” Moonbeam admitted. “Class of nine seventy-eight, and currently a journey mage pursuing independent studies…”

“Scholar then, with perhaps a dash of adventurer,” the queen concluded. “Tell me, Moonbeam, would you be interested in a collaboration?”

“What do you mean?” Moonbeam asked. Sure, it sounded innocuous enough, but she had never even heard of changelings prior to this day, and even as friendly as they seemed to be, the Bug Ponies were a bit unsettling so it wasn’t too hard to imagine that they might be villains. Okay, that might be a bit speciesist on her part, and it wasn’t as if she actually had any other friends to compare them against.

“Captain Mayhem’s unit is currently on an expedition to investigate whether or not an ancient enemy of ours continues to exist somewhere in the Umbradepths, and if so, what has been keeping them at bay for nearly a thousand years,” the queen explained. “You, on the other hoof, are tracking down an unknown magical signature that may or may not be related, as you could be sensing a seal or similar effect that might be responsible for the reprieve from predation we’ve been experiencing. I propose that we join forces for the time being and help each other.”

“Er… What ancient enemies?” Moonbeam hesitantly asked, hoping that it wasn’t marelocks.

“Giant cave spiders,” the queen stated, holding her forehooves apart before her. “At least bigger than this, and capable of taking down an unwary adult changeling and dragging them off.”

Moonbean felt faint, and she could feel one of her eyes twitching badly. The giant worm-thing was bad enough, but she had possibly been down here with giant pony-eating spiders!? “I think I’d like to accept your offer, Your Majesty!” she managed to squeak out.

*O o O o O*

“I think that went rather well!” Queen Whatevra Wa’Nabe commented to herself after breaking the connection.

Okay, Captain Mayhem was a bit irritated with her for mentioning the Shield of Gandahar, if the captain’s glare and frantic gesturing while Moonbeam was lost in thought meant anything, but things were otherwise looking up. And while she still couldn’t shake the feeling that she remembered Moonbeam from somewhere, especially after seeing her, she was now pretty sure that the mare was probably just one of the named extras that one or more of the Mane Six ended up helping out in one episode or another.

With that niggling uncertainty taken care of, Whatevra went back to going over the spy reports. Later she would continue her efforts to preselect candidates for a potential future diplomatic corps, followed by once again checking on Meta Knight to make sure that he wasn’t traumatizing the next batch of general soldiers too badly.

After all, even if there weren’t giant spiders down below, Queen Whatevra Wa’Nabe was well aware of the fact that there were other powerful enemies above ground regardless.

But really, the giant spiders had to go. She was barely warming up to Mr. Wriggly as it was, and the thought of even larger spiders living under her hooves wasn’t something she was willing to ignore until she knew for sure one way or the other.