12 - And The Sound That We Hear In Our Hearts
A zephyr of warmth blew over the two Equestrians as they walked down the familiar path. Just as they had six months before, they stopped at a little wooden bridge over a creek.
This time it was Princess Twilight who leaned on the railing and looked out over the water. "Vice-Principal Luna said to say hello, by the way. She's due to come back from Equestria tomorrow."
Sunset laughed and shook her head. "Yeah Twi, I know. When someone says they're taking a week's vacation it usually lasts a week." She leaned beside Twilight, facing the other way.
Twilight coughed into her fist with embarrassment and blushed a little. "Well, you never know for sure. Ever since the two Lunas started communicating about the Tantabus, they've been getting closer. I think Princess Luna enjoys talking with somepony who has a perspective so similar to her own."
"Speaking of the Tantabus," Sunset ventured, "Any change?"
There, Twilight shook her head. "No change. It's still hiding in the recesses of the Vice-Principal's mind, slowly dwindling as the two work through her issues. The last idea they tried was for Princess Luna to feel as bad as possible about it being inside Vice-Principal Luna to lure it out, but it seems it's smarter than that."
Sunset nodded and shifted, hugging her friend from behind. "I'd think your guilt would be bigger bait right now." They both laughed - uneasily. "It wasn't your fault, Twilight. You couldn't possibly have known it was still there, let alone that it would jump between Lunas to escape."
"I should have," insisted the Princess. "And now because of my oversight a second Luna is dealing with the pains of the first."
Another squeeze, and then Sunset released her. "Vice-Principal Luna is stronger than you think, just like Princess Luna is. Plus without this the two of them wouldn't have had the chance to meet and form the weirdest support group ever." The displaced Equestrian paused for a moment. "Speaking of, how are you and your counterpart getting along?"
For a moment, Twilight was silent. Only for a moment, though, for fear Sunset would press. Instead it was time to obviously change the subject. "What about our other project? How is she doing?"
"Uuuuuuuuugh."
Twilight giggled. "That good, huh."
"It's a process," Sunset said for the seventy-third time that week and for the first time where she wasn't trying to convince herself.
The two stepped away from the bridge and started to walk up the path again. Fresh green tulip shoots just a few steps off the trail promised that flowers would soon be in bloom with spring - the shape of the little garden and the red and yellow of the few petals that peeked out hinted at a very familiar symbol.
Sunset winked with a grin. "Wallflower's way of saying thank you for everything. Or maybe sorry - she's still feeling guilty. The whole Tantabus thing dredged up a lot of bad memories for people."
They walked on a bit further, pausing again at a turn in the path. "Cozy's been hanging around with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon lately," Sunset noted as she picked up the conversation thread again. "Which, I mean, awesome that she's making new friends. But it's got some issues."
Twilight raised a questioning eyebrow.
"On one hand, she voluntarily chose a few weeks ago to start going with Silver Spoon and help out at the food pantry. On the other, Diamond Tiara's been teaching her about politics and that might mean we're doomed." Sunset tried to sound ominous, but the barely restrained snickering refused to let it work.
Tongue firmly in cheek, Twilight pressed. "Any evil cackling? Or did she start salivating at the prospect of running for office?"
The snickering stopped being restrained. "No, no, it's probably fine. I mean," Sunset amended, "Cozy Glow's still a pain in the butt. I understand that it's a--"
"It's a process," Twilight parroted.
Sunset glared and pouted at the Princess. "...That it's a process, but there's days I wonder if Cozy is psychologically compelled to create over-complicated plans and schemes. The good side is that lately she's been manipulating people into positive things, like tricking Bulk Biceps into finally asking Ditzy out. That got her points with Rarity, who's been trying for months to get those two together. Of course she also had a group project in biology and manipulated the teams to give herself the strongest possible partners and saddle the others with dead weight so she could have an advantage."
Twilight tried very hard to stay serious and not laugh. "Sounds like Cozy Glow. So you're saying she's still evil."
"Oh, absolutely." Sunset shook her head - then cracked a grin. "But she's on the right path. Cozy's not quite as easy to sway as Starlight or me. I'm proud of her, though."
"Proud?" Twilight raised an eyebrow.
Before she could answer, Sunset's phone dinged. She held up a finger to hold back Twilight's questions as she looked at it, scrolled, and smiled. "I'm proud," she finally answered, "Because Cozy fell further than I did but she's staying strong all the way back up. I made my redemption look easy. That she's still sticking with it and making progress is a big deal." She waved her phone at Twilight. "Which is why I arranged a little reward."
Cozy Glow took a deep breath. Sunset had assured her this would work and all the instruction she'd received made sense. But after months of getting used to her human body and forgetting how her pony one had worked? This seemed more than a little insane.
Like so much else in life, though, the risk was worth it.
Ignoring the sweat of her palms, Cozy tightened her grip on the aluminum bar. The straps on her body were tight, the mechanisms were in place and the wind was right.
A deep breath.
Cozy Glow ran full speed towards the edge of the cliff. Just as the ground fell away, the fabric of the glider she was strapped into caught an updraft. For a moment her feet dangled over nothingness before she tucked them into place.
Behind her, Sunset Shimmer positioned her hang glider to be the next one to take off and the Crusaders lined up behind her. But that didn't matter to Cozy Glow. In the bright noon sun of late spring, she felt the wind on her face again. For the first time since Equestria...
She flew.
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When I started writing this tale, I drew very heavily from what I think is one of the best Sunset redemption tales - Fallowsthorn's Time. While I didn't pull anything directly from it (though there are some similar beats), that story served as the tonal and emotional inspiration for Glow In The Dark. It acted as a guidepost for how to approach things and set a target for the story's feel.
It also is where I think some readers misunderstand what Glow In The Dark is. It isn't a story of Cozy Glow's redemption. Glow In The Dark has been a story - like Time - of her accepting the concept of redemption. Of her taking that first step. Admitting that manipulation and world domination and evil plots weren't getting what her what she wanted and that maybe there was - in the a shared line between Cozy's lone song and what the Crusaders sang to Diamond Tiara - a better way. It's step #1 of a long, long path.
Redemption is like substance abuse - it's a journey that doesn't have an end-point. You're always fighting against the temptation to backslide. Some days are good, some days are bad, sometimes you stumble hard. This story could never cover Cozy's redemption, because that's something that would take her years.
And that touches on one of the thematic arcs I've had going through the story: It's A Process. Even if Cozy were suddenly redeemed fully and completely, it wouldn't settle the matter. The show hits on this all the time with the recurring redeemed characters - they may be good now, but they're still who they are and their actions still have impact.
Luna still has to deal with jealousy, alienation and doubting her self-worth.
Starlight is still a short-sighted hothead who takes easy shortcuts to fix complicated problems and doesn't look at the consequences of her actions.
Trixie remains a sarcastic narcissist who forgets to look at how her actions impact others.
Sunset never stops being cocky, selfish and sure of her own superiority.
It's part of why they're good characters. They are at times terrible people. But they overcome those limitations, make up for their failings and show that they're good in spite of the mistakes they make. They fight against their personal failings to stay on the path - that's why their tales are so strong.
Cozy is a little rat bastard and will always be a little rat bastard. But just because she's not a good person doesn't mean she can't try to be a good person.
Magnificent work throughout. A fantastic breakdown and buildup of Cozy, and a most satisfactory expansion on how Sunset was the guide she needed in starting her journey down this road. Thank you for it.
Though I do have to wonder what the Twilights talk about...
This was so, so good. I absolutely loved this story, and will definitely be coming back to read it over and over again!
This story was outstanding. Great use of all characters involved and engaging all the way through. I love it! Fics like this bring me so much joy after that ending.
Damn, that is sad,
Makes sense for her to make friends with trhose two. They seem to be doomed indeed if Cozy becomes a politition.
Perfect way to end this.
10071777
Or encause that skill set of hers towards more positive and "good" end goals...
Well, it was good, nothing like plain say to Cozy how bad are her plans to sober her up.
Damn I'm gonna have to pull double duty to be half as good as this when I get around to my own take on a Cozy redemption story. You did a fantastic job here, and yeah, I knew that this was never going to end with Cozy Glow having fully embraced redemption. Like you said, it's all about getting to that step, to realizing that something does need to change.
Looking forward to your future projects!
A wonderful story. That ending!
It makes a lot of sense that this was about Cozy's first step towards redemption instead of her complete journey (which, as you point out, can never really be complete anyway). I'm a little surprised that we didn't get to see even a glimpse of the Tantabus's actual defeat, but there are good reasons not to show it: after all, it's no longer Cozy's story at that point and we can guess what happened based on how final battles in Equestria Girls tend to play out.
One thing I would have liked to see more of was some spotlight on all of the Humane Seven and their individual perspectives on the situation, seeing how magnificently you characterized those we did spend time with (Pinkie, Rarity, Fluttershy, and of course Sunset). On the other hand, I understand how focusing on more characters might have thrown off the pacing and the fact that some stories just don't call for everyone to play a major role. In any case, this was a job excellently done.
Hm. This was really nice. It's too short for my tastes, since I wanted to see more of Cozy coping with the human world, but that doesn't lessen what was here, which was very fun, and very entertaining.
What a beautiful way to end the story! So heartwarming
Wasn't epexcting this would be the final chapter after the last one but glad it ended well
I did enjoy this story overall. But, I do think the final act was kind of sudden.
10071798
As I mentioned before, my own taken on human Twilight involves a fair bit of envy. And maybe a bit in the other direction as well - a little bit of the Princess probably envies the chance to have a normal(-ish) life. Plus, you know, egghead dimensional theory things.
10071857
That's part of my own writer's block for the ending - when it comes down to it, the Tantabus is just trying to survive. Flat-out destroying it would have been antithetical to the show's overall message.
Personal theory: the S8 Cozy arc was originally intended for Diamond Tiara, but was tossed when they decided to reform her in S5 and they later rewrote it around a new character (Cozy) later on. Cozy and early Diamond have a lot of similar traits - even reformed they'd both totally get along.
10072052
That's exactly why I didn't. In my original outline there was a bigger battle and it did end in proper Rainbow Lasers. But I dropped it for exactly that - this is Cozy Glow's story. The final confrontation being about the seven went against that, so I cut it.
I actually cut it short on purpose! A new character's introduction or a redemptive arc almost always takes that route - the process of meeting and having Friendship Moments with each of the Mane 6/7 one at a time is a really common trope.
So I purposely set up that expectation by having about half of them, then broke it by having the Tantabus take it all off the rails.
Loved it, though I gotta say, Cozy could've made worse friends:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2020/2/9/2269702.jpg
I have to a dog rhr tantipus thing really threw me off.
There is no nobler cause. :V Nicely done!
I want to chapter-by-chapter comment when I have the time, but more generally: Job exceedingly well done. The characters sing off the page right down to the details, the reveal is well set up and satisfying, and Cozy's overall arc from brat to brat but trying to be less so just hit all the right notes. Better than Cozy's canon ending (and I've got nothing against anyone who liked how it went down for her, but I'm with this story completely that a child should at least have some chance at rehabilitation).
More detailed fangirling to come, but for now, thanks for the ride that demanded I binged the whole thing. ^^
I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and Three Second Chances. While it was a little dark, I found it enjoyable. My harshness in an earlier chapter's comments was a little hypocritical of me, as I write dark stories a lot. Over all, a job well done. I'm thankful to PresentPerfect for doing an interview with you, as I wouldn't have been able to read such exhilarating stories.
10071777
I love this story and I love that sentiment.
That was a good story.
I especially like the part where Sunset and Cozy play chess while Cozy is in detention. From that scene, I really got the feeling like there was more going on beyond the game. Cozy won within the game, and Sunset won outside of it.
I like how each character contributed to Cozy's growth one by one, then you used that with the final scene against the Tentibus. It was also interesting to see how that fight was entirely emotional and cerebral, which makes sense against a creature like that. It isn't really physical, so the method required to attack it must also be intangible. This gives more weight and meaning to the chapters that came before it.
There was one plot thread that was left dangling, maybe intentionally. Sunset touched Cozy once and read her mind, yet seemed to overlook Cozy's continued thoughts of escape. I thought that discovery was in further development during the chess scene, but I might have been mistaken.
Now that I've read your story, do you want to check out one of mine? One of them is based on a similar plot as this one.
10364218
Less a dangling thread and more a known thing in how Sunset's powers work - she doesn't have access to internal thoughts and emotions, just the events that happened. She could see Cozy's first attempt because Cozy (in Ch.3) was using a notebook to plan out her ideas. She couldn't see Cozy's intentions (in Ch.8) because the plan was all entirely inside Cozy's head.
10364328
Fair enough, and still what I figured. KInd of thought the story was going more with that plot thread, but hard to see how. If Cozy actually acts on her plans, then Sunny would see it. The only way for such a plan to work is for the plan to be done before Sunny checks, which is why she had to wait for an unexpected opportunity.
This story is incredible. I'd talk about everything I liked about it but I'm genuinely speechless right now. Thank you for this.
I don't have much to add to what everyone else has said. Thank you for a superb story.
Oh, except I think nobody else has commented on using song lyrics as chapter names. That's incredibly effective. MLP's song lyrics are a very rich well to draw from, and you can convey a lot with a well-chosen snippet. In some cases finding multiple meanings; in other cases finding a very different meaning to its original context (looking at you chapter 9). Most moving of all is chapter 1, and I hadn't noticed before that it's a line found in both Cozy's song and in my favourite song from the whole show.
I saw this technique of lyrics for chapter names here, and liked it enough that I stole it for use in my latest fic (which also draws inspiration from Fallowsthorn's superb story Time). I, uh, hope that's okay
Imitation and flattery and all that...
10495366
I can hardly complain, given the number of small details I've... paid tribute to over time.
Your portrayal of Sunset is one of the best I've seen, with just the right combination of confidence, humility, optimism, and cynicism. But Sunset's strongest attribute is her empathy. She recognizes that Cozy Glow is just like her except that she fell farther than her, which makes Sunset the best choice to set the younger girl on the path toward redemption. At the same time, I respect that Cozy doesn't become totally transformed by the end. Like Discord, she's a work in progress.
So I've been meaning to ask. Are all chapter titles from a song? Because that's what it looks like. If so, it's actually really cool. But what titles are from which song, ’cause I don't get most of them.
10924776
That's one of the little details that's been generally missed but that amuses me: it's not a song. Every chapter title is a line fragment of a song sung by a key character of that chapter - Ch.1 is from A Better Way To Be Bad and so on.
10925048
That's what I meant, but I may have worded a bit weirdly. What I meant to ask: which songs so they come from? Here's what I got so far:
Ch. 1 - A Better Way to Be Bad
Ch. 9 - Hush Now, Quiet Now
Ch. 10 - Monday Blues
Ch. 11 - My Past is Not Today
Ch. 12 - Shine Like Rainbows
10925108
Oh! Right, yes.
1 - A Better Way To Be Bad
2 - We'll Make Our Mark
3 - The Legend of Everfree
5 - Welcome To The Show
6 - Smile Song
7 - Invisible
8 - Being Big Is All It Takes
9 - Hush Now Lullaby
10 - Monday Blues
11 - My Past Is Not Today
12 - Shine Like Rainbows
For the life of me, I cannot find where I got #4 from and it's weirdly missing from my notes.
10926085
Thank you so much.
10926085
Excellent news! I have finally found where Chapter 4's title comes from!
Season 6, Episode 19, “The Fault in Our Cuite Marks”, the song, ‘Find the Purpose in your life’. Here’s the extract.
Another masterpiece. Easily the best Cozy gets reformed story I've ever read. You really understand the character. I'm legitimately in awe. Great work.
11075750
"Their aim is getting better!"
"Get it? Because she was a terrible mom?"
Grand Uncle Stan (proberbly)-
11773991
This was like 4 years ago lol, I legit don't remember this story or what my comment is about. However I will say, any form of plot armor is just poor writing. There should always be a reason and consequences for every action.
Huh the ending was very abrupt but overall it’s awesome