• Member Since 16th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 31st, 2022

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Confound these ponies. They drive me to write.

E

Scout Number One-Five-Nine has always dreamed of participating in an invasion. However, being a Scout class changeling, the odds of him doing so are not exactly in his favor. Being the most accident prone in the hive doesn't help him either. Now, with the most important invasion in changeling history, he finally gets the chance to live out his dream. Prepare yourself, Equestria! Scout Number One-Five-Nine is on his way!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 9 )

Poor scout... your pain amuses me so.

Bangs head repeatedly against force field in order to break it.

Flawless logic. :ajsmug:

Ha, this is great fun. The awkward, clumsy outcast here manages to be very sympathetic, while still seeming like a rounded character. I also think you do a little bit of good and most importantly, subtle world building. That is, you hint at some social structures and such in the changeling culture, but without stopping the narrative in order to lecture the reader. The information is just there, without being intrusive. Well done.

One thing though, it might just be me having a dirty mind but " The third, Worker 230, was still trying to arouse me." sounds, well, dirty, particularly when 230 is female. I suggest "rouse" or "wake" instead of "arouse".

Also, once or twice, you write something like "she's" when you mean "she was". I'm pretty sure "she's" is specifically a shortening of "she is" and the same goes for every "placeholder's". I always read them that way and when the story is in the past tense, "placeholder's" jars me out of the narrative. I suggest changing those to "placeholder was".

Now, time to look at the next one.

2816740
I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it. Sorry about the "arouse" business; it wasn't suppose to sound dirty. I just couldn't think of a better word when I was writing it. And I think you're right about the contractions, by the way. At the time, I figured "she's" could work for "she was". I'll have to look that up sometime.

Thanks for the comment.

That was hilarious and adorable.

7614748 Wow, thank you. I honestly didn't expect anyone to read this after all this time :twilightblush: I'm glad you enjoyed it!

7615246 Well, I'm scouring the site for good Chryssie and changeling fics. I really liked this one.

Though, I've noticed that the sequel was cancelled. What happened? :raritydespair:

7615335 Well, I've kinda been gone for a while, and I lost track of where I wanted that story to go, and it didn't really seem like a lot of people were reading it at the time so I kinda lost the motivation to keep working on it. :twilightblush:

I might look into reviving it sometime though, if you're really enjoying what's there of it. I just want to finish what I'm currently working on now before I get started on anything else

The head.ramming szene was good, but a bit long to quote here.
Most important lesson learned: Always use your head to solve problems.

“Curse you, cruel gravity!” I yelled.

I know what you are talking about...

An orange pony galloped over to my position. It must have been Worker 230 returning from a successful mission. I almost greeted her as she turned around and gave me a swift buck to the face. I guessed it wasn’t 230.

Are you sure? That pretty much sounds like W230.


Nice story.
I enjoyed reading it.



Hint:

A random pony ran by, chased by a bunch of changelings.

Add a comma here.

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