• Member Since 25th Nov, 2019
  • offline last seen Last Friday

arandomboi12


Saved the day, the night, and the girl too.

Comments ( 26 )

Ok, I like it, but I gotta ask, why did you make him that old? Could have made him like, ten thousand years old, not a couple billion+ but I shall read on

I like this chapter, but to me, I don't see why/how our guy acting childish at times, Goofy yes, childish, no he is a multi billion year old god/hero, but this is me thinking realisticly, anyways, good work on this one

Okay, I say you did perfect with shy but, I got one problem, all of these chapters are pretty short, and were published in an row in three days, I don't mind it how you published the chapters, but Short chapters like this can be annoying, just an heads up bud

Just an heads up

OMG!!!”

“What is it?”

YOUR NEW RIGHT!?!”

“Well… an hour new.” he shrugged

OHMYGOSHIHOPEYOULIKEPARTYSBECAUSEWEREGONNATHROWONEJUSTFORYOU!!!!!!” she spoke at lightning speed

just saying this is kind of unnecessary, could just have her talk in all caps

Okay, I like the story so far I really do, but try to make the chapters longer, have a standard for the amount of words for each chapter, like all of your chapters have atleast an minimum of 1000 words, besides that, I'll track this and I hope to see more

9985667
to answer your question, have hero's have to be serious and mature? Just look at kirby, he has a mind of a LITERAL infant. but he still is a hero and saved his planet from gods before. but love your criticism so thank you my dude.

9986950
Your welcome, but my point was, why was he acting childish, Goofy yes, but I personally can't see an multi billion year old being, that saves universes to act like that, after that much time

Edit: just so you know, still love the story, just pointing out how I personally think of it, realistically that is

9986954
when you fight evil left and right and win, you get bored. and his own body doesn't age right. you'll get it in a future chapter.

Why would adding an earthbound power to Marcus turn people off?

Good chapter bud, i shall wait for more work, but this chapter was kind of fast paced tho

This Story is Rated M, which means "mature people only"

Wouldn't that be obvious?

10005844
Not to alot of people, sadly

10005763
Yeah I know this was fast paced. But I'm planning more to be revealed.

Great chapter buddy..but I'm very sorry for what's going on, my parents seperated and I got a step dad, not officially but still, it gets better bud, also if ya wanna talk feel free to PM/DM me bud

This was a purity cool chapter.

This is a interesting start to the story can't wait to see where it goes.

Are you going to finish this story

Is that kind of it for NMM, she just gets erased?

I feel like Celestia needs to realize she should be apologizing too since it was her fault NMM happened too. Due to not being there for Luna and not noticing her suffering in time.

Kind of wondering where's Luna too?

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