"Do wings turn you gay, Headmare Twilight?"
Twilight Sparkle, ruler of Equestria, raised an eyebrow towards her companion. “What do you mean?”
Silverstream, Ambassador of the Hippogriffs, and her former student, smiled back at her from across the coffee table they were having their tea on. “You heard me! I was wondering if you became gay after becoming an alicorn, or if you were always gay.”
“I’m not sure if I understand the question, Silverstream,” Twilight said, now furrowing her brows. She side-eyed her guards, standing at either side of the room’s door, hoping for any help they might be willing to offer via their facial reactions, but they looked as stone-faced as ever. “There are plenty of creatures who are born gay that do not have wings. Take Lyra and Bon-Bon, for example. There are plenty of straight creatures with wings as well!”
“Really?” Silverstream asked, tilting her head. “Like who? Because I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and there’s not a single creature with wings I can think of who is exclusively attracted to the opposite sex.”
Twilight blinked. “Well. Um…”
“Are you straight, Headmare Twilight?” Silverstream wondered.
“V-Vapor Wave—I mean, Vapor Trail and Sky Stinger!” Twilight blurted out, her cheeks burning up. “They’re married. They have a beautiful little colt together. They’re straight!”
“Well, they’re in a straight relationship,” said Silverstream. “But if what the last Wonderbolts reunion is anything to go by, they’re not exclusively straight. I mean, come on, Headmare Twilight! You saw Sky. He sucked so many dicks that night he nearly beat Professor Rainbow’s record!”
Twilight shook her head. “What about Vapor Trail, then? I’ve never—”
“Who do you think was eating her ass while she watched her husband get his face railed by those studs?” Silverstream laughed.
Twilight looked to her guards, more explicitly this time, but they were of no help. She sighed. The heat in her cheeks was starting to feel like a raging fire. “Well, let me think of somepony else…”
“You can’t!” Silverstream chirped. “I’ve tried.”
“Well, let me try,” Twilight hissed. “Um. There’s…”
“Not Professors Rainbow or Fluttershy. Not Commander Flash Magnus. Not Captain Thunderlane. Not Captain Rumble. Not Somnambula—I can personally tell you that—and not Scootaloo either,” Silverstream rattled off, her cadence bouncing up and down musically. “Creatures? I was tempted to say Princess—I mean, Dragon Lord Ember, but after getting in touch with Smolder last week I can no longer say that. There’s Smolder herself, but she’s kind of anything goes. Spikey-wikey, maybe? Oh, but there was that time I walked in on him and Prince Shining Armor and Princess Cadance at the School of Friendship’s annual Hearth’s Warm—”
“Enough of that, please,” Twilight interrupted, waving a hoof in Silverstream’s direction. “Okay, fine, there are a lot of gay pegasi.”
“There are!” Silverstream said. “And now we’re back to my initial question. Were you gay before you had wings, or after?”
“I…” Twilight trailed off. Why didn’t she know the answer? Did she even know if she was gay or not? Who had she been attracted to in her life? “I had a crush on Flash Sentry back in the day, and that was right after I had become a princess.”
Silverstream blinked. “Is there anything more gay than being attracted to Flash Sentry? Like, no matter your gender?”
Twilight squinted. “Touché. Let’s see...was there anyone else in my life? I’ll admit that I’ve thought about a few of my close friends very flatteringly, but romantically? It always felt too weird. Like I was choosing favorites or something. But all of that was after I had gotten my wings. I guess maybe wings might make you gay, if you assume that I only started having bisexual thoughts after becoming a princess, but it wasn’t like I interacted with many creatures before I was an alicorn. Other romantic interests, though. Hmm...There was Fizzlepop Berrytwist, but then she settled down in the Crystal Empire and started seeing that old friend of hers…”
Silverstream said something in reply, but Twilight’s hearing tuned her out for a second as she frowned. Fluttershy and Discord, Pinkie Pie and Cheese, Rarity and Spike, sometimes, and Rainbow and Applejack…and then there was her. She had been left alone, hadn’t she? But it wasn’t like she was bitter about it. Not—not until now, anyway.
Oh, fucking shit, Twilight’s eyes widened as she thought more and more about it. Was she lonely?
“Headmare?” Silverstream asked. “Did you hear me?”
“No,” Twilight answered. “I’m sorry. I spaced out for a second. What were you saying, Silverstream?”
“Well,” Silverstream said, and it was now that Twilight noticed the hippogriff seemed nervous. Her wings were slightly flared and the fur on her chest was puffed up. “I was explaining that, um, my graduating class’s eight year reunion is happening next week, and, uh, I—I was kind of feeling a little weird that everyone else hooked up and I still haven’t yet, and I know that the reunion isn’t a competition or anything and I’m not going there to judge anycreature about where they are in life, but I still want to show up and impress my friends, you know? A-And what could be more impressive than showing up with our former Headmare as my date? Which is why this conversation just happened.”
Twilight’s blush felt like it contained the heat of a thousand suns. “Oh.”
There was a knock at the door. Twilight turned, about to send whoever it was away, but Silverstream held up a talon to stop her.
The door opened, and in came a suited unicorn stallion with an ice bucket and a bottle of Cava. “Your wine, Lady Ambassador, Your Highness,” he announced, placing it on the table before bowing out of the room.
Twilight swallowed, staring at Silverstream. “You—”
“Would like to get to know you, Headmare. Um, better, I mean. Please?” Silverstream begged, voice growing smaller as her words went on. “I know this is weird. But I think it could be fun! You always made sure we knew an important part of friendship was having fun.”
Twilight’s eyes raced over Silverstream’s form, looking at her in an entirely different way than she ever had before. The pastel pink hippogriff was beautiful, and was no longer a teenager, and no longer her student. She was pleasant to be around. She made Twilight laugh in a way that Pinkie used to—and still did! But less often, now that she had Lil’ Cheese to take care of.
Twilight had always considered herself to be a rational mare. Reason was where she sometimes had a little more trouble. She definitely knew that, on occasion, she could be unreasonable. As much as anypony was. Maybe even more! But as far as finding any reasons to say no to Silverstream?
She could find none.
Twilight went to answer, but was stilled by Silverstream’s earnest gaze, waiting patiently for an answer.
Was she sure about this? Was she sure about taking that risk?
“I—” Twilight began, but stopped. She thought on it for another few seconds, before she looked Silverstream right in her sparkly, ocean blue eyes. “You’re going to have to stop calling me Headmare.”
“Deal,” Silverstream said, the ghost of a smile on her beak. “I have a question, though.”
“Yes?” Twilight said. Her heart was racing.
“Is mommy a good replacement?”
Twilight’s heart nearly burst out of her chest. Her wings shot out, stiff as boards, and in the process of backing up she caught the expressions on her guards: blushing brightly, eyes slightly wide and hoping, and, above all else, hopeful.
Silverstream giggled nervously. “Too strong?”
Twilight breathed in, then out. Do or die. It still wasn’t too late.
...
She turned to her guards. “Please wait outside, boys.”
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Featured box, here you come.
I’m honestly not sure how I should respond to this.
Being straight is perhaps the gayest thing ever. You're sticking your penis is another penis, sounds gay to me.
10036022
And remember, when you have sex with another guy, there are no women involved. And women are feminine and girly, which is inherently gay
So, ipso facto, two dudes having sex is straight as fuck.
I'M DEAD XD
10036027
Good thing I'm bi so I don't need to give a shit one way or the other.
10036027
Never forget, son: girls are gay.
10036027
Alternately: sex with a girl is gay (male) because you're using your penis. Deriving pleasure from penises is obviously gay. Certainly masturbation is gay.
If they deny that, then move to the yeah-but-what-if-you-could-suck-your-own-dick scenario.
I'm DED!
Good work!
But does twilight the head mare give mares head?
And I honestly can't enlighten you. All I can tell you was that this was a thing that just happened.
Heck of a pick-up line, Sil.
Man, though...she would've been sunk if Twilight had actually found someone with wings who was definitively not gay.
In a related story, birds just went extinct.
I am so glad I swallowed my tea before reaching this line.
Gay.
Why isn't there a random tag?
This was a hazard to read while eating. I nearly spit out my soup numerous times, from "...he nearly beat Professor Rainbow’s record!" to the Flash Sentry line. Well played, Silverstream. I didn't know she could be that smooth.
Gosh that was funny. A bit of curveball with the hinting at a CGL relationship at the end, but the title is a good question and sounds like something Silverstream would ask.
Unless I missed something, there was no mention of Owlowiscious. Or Peewee. Or Philomena.
can i have a link to the artist of the cover art please?
10036144
cgl relationship? whats that?
10036192
fuck
10036020
same
10036196
looks like i messed up on the source link, here you go friend
https://derpibooru.org/2012982
10036118
rest in piece
And to everyone else who's read and commented so far:
Fun and cute story.
I snickered at Silverstream's "So, have you stopped beating your wife?" approach to questioning. And cackled at her responses about pegasi. Our lovely horsebird has actually gotten quite clever as the years gone by. The ending was unexpectedly sweet! I kinda wanna see how the date goes too.
Thanks for a lovely, funny story!
This was great. The Flash Sentry line was the best part, put me in mind of something Gillette from Archer might say.
10036192
Gaaaaaaay
Does it matter? The story is enjoyable nonetheless.
I've spent longer than I care to admit coming up with something to say about this story and I gotta admit I've come up with nothing.
There are crackships and then there are crackships
This is how you redeem any of the Student Six: a comedy vehicle you don't have to think too hard about, a bit of risqué content, and adorkable Twilight. Formula for success right there. Even Yona would've worked in this scenario. Plenty entertaining read.
10036077
Who doesn't love sucking some girl dick?
gay men, straight women, and transphobes, probably.
EDIT: Oh, and ace peeps
Your inspiration came straight from God and nothing will convince me otherwise.
Success!
That sounds like it could make for a fun story all by itself. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
10036144
I don't think anyone was intoning the babysub fetish.
People have been calling each other 'daddy' or 'mommy' often in the lifestyle without getting into childlike behavior, just at least somewhat submissive.
10036133
Everything on this fic was carefully planned and has a deep metaphorical significance. We just have to find it.
It's queer rights. This fic says
QUEER RIGHTS BABEY
Please let there be more in
Damn, this just screams, that it needs a sequeal.
10036121
Unlike you, I was drinking coffee when I came across that line... I got a desk I need to dry now xD
Student - Teacher
Ambassador - Ruler
Foreign - Native
CommonerRoyal blood, No title - Royalty
Interspeciesmagic fixes everything?
Same sexmagic fixes everything
Mommy
This was hilarious. Loved it.
Was Gallus discussed, though?
10036044
Masturbation is still giving a guy a handjob.
That makes two of us, but what the hell, it was amusing.
10036586
I can't understand why this has downhooves.
10037072
Yeah, but if you give a guy a handjob, he'll ask you for some milk...
10037141
Oh wait we're doing this bit on a T-rated story ABORT ABORT
10036753
I also don't get the hate on this comment. Huh.
10037063
i wanted to,
couldn't find a place for him but that boy doesn't need to be spoken for anyway
Well that was super cute.
Celestia, Luna, Discord, Garble, Cozy Glow, Smolder, Thorax, Pharynx, Ocellus... They are also gay?
10037137
Some peeps don't like sucking girl dick.
Their loss.
10037161
Yeah, he was wearing a suit of guard armor in the finale, so he joined the guard. The almost all-male, shower-sharing group that Flash Sentry is also in.