when your rife with devastation, there's a simple explanation, your a toy makers creation trapped inside a crystal ball
Every pony seems to be in a relationship, Rarity never seemed to notice that out of her friends she was the only one that happened to be single. She isn’t quite sure how she feels about that, other than the fact that it doesn’t feel good.
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A very good start!
10071873
Thank you!
This isn't bad of an idea and the execution isn't terrible, but small grammar mistakes and formatting issues are driving me up the wall.
This group can possibly help you out:
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/97/looking-for-editors
10078892
THANK YOU!!!
I'm sorry about the grammer, I'm literally so horrible at it, so thank you for the group recommendation
10079006
Happy to be of service
Why does the story end like that?
10085607
I wanted to show that it wasnt actually Blueblood but actually just a hologram to teach Rarity a lesson, that lesson being that she doesn’t need to have a BF for Hearts and Hooves day
This was a very cute story, I love it!
Oof. Grammer and a serious need of editing kills this story for me. I tried, I really did. But I can't even finish the first chapter. Not even halfway through it.
I don't know if it's the fact that the paragraphs are in the middle of the screen, which never looks good, or something more. But there it is.
10112981
Thank you for your feedback, I plan to go back and edit all of the grammar mistakes sion, and as for the formatting I had a lot of technology errors while writing it, so I plan to also go back and fix that as well, but again thanks so much for the feedback!
I have to say I'm on edge about this story. Based on the previous comments, I expected a grammatical catastrophe. Apparently you pulling it through various spell checkers helped a fair bit, although there is still a bunch of missing or incorrectly used punctuation (notably in direct speech), some randomly capitalized words, and the occasional roughly worded sentence. That is quite understandable, since most AI's cannot deal with such things--in other words, getting a human editor is a must if you want to get these corrected. (Getting one should be rather easy, since your story's fairly short and there are not so many errors to fix. Just remember to make sure you the editor is worth his or her salt.) What needs more work is the formatting--make sure that the paragraph indents are all the same and that there are no double spaces between the paragraphs.
Also, I have noticed nobody commented on your style yet, so I'd like to touch up on that. Your writing is rather pleasant to read, and the flow is good and sufficient to set up the needed atmosphere, though be aware that sometimes you tend to drag the description on a bit too long and almost ramble about unnecessary details. Furthermore, your story's pace picked up a bit haphazardly after Rarity met Pinkie and remainedrather odd till the end of the chapter, so you should focus on keeping its speed in check. Elaborating more on Rarity's meeting with Pinkie might be a good start, since it seemed cut off rather abruptly with Rarity forgetting her errand all of sudden. (Also, it might be a good idea to already include some of Rarity's sadness at her solitude in this scene to keep the readers interested).
All in all, if polished, this could make for a good story. Good luck in your writing!