Spike and Gabby have been dating for a few weeks, and everything is great! In their short time together, they’ve found that they click on so many more levels than they did as friends. There is never an awkward moment between them, and now that they’re on the third date, it’s time to take it to the next level: The kiss.
The mere thought of it fills Spike with nerves, but not of the excited kind. Instead of anticipation, all he feels is dread. He wants to kiss her. He needs to kiss her. There’s just one little problem.
He doesn’t know how to kiss a beak.
Thanks to Jack of a Few Trades for editing and helping round out the ideas of this story.
Also, thanks to Not Enough Coffee for prereading this and giving his always awesome feedback.
Art by: yuyusunshine
LOOOOOVED THIS.
Bro, your banter is priceless in this!
Beaks were made for kissin' :>
havent read this yet but i know im going to love it just based off the description
Sorry I wasn't able to pre-read the last section, bro. Turns out work had a grasp on me after all, but I will for sure read the last section when I get a chance.
Noticed this was up on my break.
Very nice story, Famous. Really love how you cast your characters, while also adding your usual flair through references both band and outside music alike. :)
My heart's melted now, I blame you for this and will foot ya my funeral bill.
trash ship tho
like, gallstream woulda worked here too, and you wouldn't have written a shit ship
that's like, two pluses
and obviously, sparity otp
10262945
Hey man, no worries! It may not have been your cup of tea, but I appreciate you giving it a shot!
10262950
oh i didn't read it
i read the synopsis
10262945
Man, do you have anything better to do than dump on other people's ships? Let Famous write what they want to write.
10262968
wow really? You put a hate comment on a story you didn't even freaking read?
10262974
not really, no
and if they can write what they want, i can say what i want about it
10262977
eeyup
the synopsis was descriptive enough to warn me to not spend my time on a fic pushing a shitty ship
10263007
Why did you even click on this story if you don't like the ship? The name and the cover art should have given it away.
10263009
10263007
10262974
I appreciate all you guys commenting and letting me know your thoughts! Sometimes we enjoy something, sometimes we don't. No hard feelings either way!
10263011
Ok, I'll stop bickering.
Also I loved the story, keep up the great work
10263007
Hey guys, look! The dude with an unwashed ass has an opinion!
i.imgflip.com/t67q3.jpg
10263011
Okay, I'll stop with the quibbling. Keep on being awesome, Fame okay?
10263023
Will do! You've been putting out some great work too! Keep that up and never let yourself get tied down by self-doubt or anything like I was the past year!
10263017
Thank you so much for reading and I'm glad you liked it! I really wanted to produce something that would make people smile what with all the chaos in the world right now, so I'm glad it worked!
As expected I fucking love it, have some assorted reactions
This is so dope, Spike being literal royalty is underused in a lot of fics. I loved the little details about the restaurant—made it seem more real, especially that hoofwritten note
Also, Poptart is adorable
It’s okay Gabby, you can tell him you could eat a horse, we’re all omnivores here
What, no suite at the castle? Shame on you, Twilight
While all of this fic was enjoyable I’d really like to compliment that entire last bit where Spike’s walking Gabby home. I Basically had butterflies the entire time. Reaaaally good stuff—I feel like a lot of oneshots coming out recently haven’t been catching my interest so reading this one was like finally having a good steak after weeks of eating plain wonderbread so thanks
10263032
Thank you so much for reading!
I'm glad you liked the ending. I wanted to really drive the awkwardness home and put some smiles on people's faces. Of course, I couldn't have done it without my editors and prereaders, Jack and Coffee, so they deserve some love, too.
Thanks again for reading! It really means a lot to me!
10262604
Thanks! I'm really glad you did! My goal was to give everyone something to smile about and I'm glad it worked for you!
10262632
Thanks! I always take pride in my banter-ness. Now it's spider time!
10262637
Luv u, bby
10262731
x2
Luv u, bby
10262774
Music references are life!
10263022
ad hom is such a lowly thing to stoop to
surely you can do better?
Kissing a beaked character. A major problem for anthro characters outside the WB?disney animation pools.
10263041
You bet it is! I'll get that outline ready pronto!
10263048
Well, then, why don't you, o shining example of human perfection, explain to us mere mortals why you view this as a shit painting? After all, if you are so above us, as your general attitude in these comments seems to suggest, then it should be a trifling matter for you to elaborate your position, in clear, concise, understandable reasoning that the rest of us can fathom. After all, if you are accusing others of surely being able to do better, then does it not stand to reason that you, too, can do the same?
Go on, enlighten us. Educate us with your boundless and flawless understanding of what makes a shitty ship in this, the realm of subjective fanfiction on the internet.
10263076
Officer? I need to report a murder. One late Late_Night.
10263084
There's no officers, they're too busy dealing with protests.
smh
10263028
Hey, I'm trying. Despite all the crap of this last year, I aim to keep people happy, and at least offer an escape for a little while. You do the same, eh?
10263100
I try. I'm glad there are writers like you out there that are still, doing their best and making people happy. Keep doing what you do!
10263076
firstly, *pairing
i understand the typo though, hard to spell right when you're so assmad
secondly, patronizing is just another kind of ad hom
yes, i get it
u angy i spoke my mind
i was already doing better by not having such shit taste, but if you know how i can do better than that, tell me
first off, such mixed signals! are you telling me it's all subjective anyways, and therefore doesn't matter, or are you asking me for an explanation?
secondly, i already explained why gabby x spike is shit
but since your smooth, rotted brain can't fuckin comprehend my previous explanation, let me elaborate some:
spike and rarity are meant to be together. there is no other character pairing for either of them that is good. there is no other valid ship for either of them that does not involve the other.
did that stick, ya clownshoe?
10263173
Hey man!
I really appreciate your thoughts and feedback and I'm glad you like Sparity so much. I really like it too! I actually have a couple of Sparity fics on my account you might enjoy since this one wasn't your cup of tea. If not, that's cool too!
10263173
If you didn't read the story, you have no idea how the pairing was executed. This is E-rated fluff. There's no objectionable content like underage and incest. You should have no problem reading it and being able to see if it is handled to be able to formulate a more coherent and less baseless reply.
10263183
matters not how it was executed
it was executed at all, and that is enough for me to take issue(because it is what i take issue with)
and where the fresh-baked fuck are you getting that i hate it for incest or pedophilia?
neither of those things apply, really
10263188
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10263193
i'm asking that cuz they don't apply to this story, or the ship itself(in 90% of cases, anyways)
quit looking for shit to get mad about, junior
10263173
You haven't explained it though, is the thing. "Rarity and Spike are meant to be together." That's not a reason, that's an opinion with nothing to back it up.
Surely you can do better than that? Surely you can think about your answer and actually explain it? Ya know, with basic facts, reasons, logic, examples, and so on, and so on?
More just amused you thought being a dick about it was smart.
Awaiting the revelation of why it is shit. Need some reasoning there, bud, or all your doing is spewing an idea with no substance attached.
Simple answer: it IS subjective, and it doesn't matter. Conversely, neither do you. However, your approach to expressing your subjective opinion on it was beyond bewildering and appalling. There is a right and a wrong way to deliver criticism on these kinds of things. Backing up your assertions with reasoning, examples, and some measure of coherent thought, presented in a manner that isn't needlessly insulting to the recipient when they have done quite literally nothing to you to deserve such hostility, is the right way to do it.
"Spike and Gabby sucks and so do you for writing it" is, quite literally, NONE of those things, and is more or less all your inane drivelings have amounted to since your first comment.
I guess we're both ad hom, then. You've been nothing but patronizing and condescending since you got here. So we can add 'hypocrite' to the list of things that are evidently wrong with you to anyone who bothers to take a second to think about the crap flying from your keyboard. Right up there with 'condescending' and 'short-tempered' and 'pitifully arrogant.'
Make no mistake, though. I do not say all of this to antagonize you. What I am trying to do is get you to actually provide a functional critique. Maybe you dislike the ship, and that is fine, you are allowed to dislike it. you are allowed an opinion just as much as the rest of us.
However, the moment you parade that opinion around as if it is somehow better on an objective scale than those around you, insulting all who disagree with you, then I have a problem with you, and I will not hesitate to level criticism at your conduct in whatever manner I deem suitable. If you do not like the ship, very well, dislike it, that is your prerogative. However, if you can not express that displeasure in a constructive manner, then why bother saying anything about it in the first place? All you will do is make a tremendous ass of yourself in front of everyone that can see you, and no one will be willing to take you or your opinions seriously.
As has been evidenced by this entire comment chain. Not one person thus far has bothered to actually agree with your opening statement, especially after the bombshell you dropped about not even bothering to read the story. Your conduct since then has been nothing short of insulting and condescending. What in the world makes you think you will sway anyone to your train of thought by behaving like such a thoughtless brat?
There, of course, exists the very real possibility that you are little more than a troll, out to elicit reactions from those around you with every word you speak. But seeing as I have crossed paths with you before on one of my own stories, I am forced to contemplate the far more tragic possibility, that you are genuine in all of this. That you actually think you are somehow better just because you do not subscribe to something as small and trivial as a pairing in a one-shot fanfiction on the internet.
10263198
Bro, if the content is not something objectionable (like the examples I gave) and the rating is acceptable content for all, then you should have no problems reading it. That's the point.
So, don't be like people who post comments without reading a story?
10263203
all this over an opinion, jesus christ on a pogo-stick
but if you want an objective reason it can't work, try this on for size:
there's no basis for it besides "they shared an episode and acted friendly towards one another"
all ships like this are dogshit by default because there's nothing fucking there besides vapid dipshits reading miles deep into a petri dish-depth thing
the only thing worse to me is a ship that has 0 basis period, such as gallbar
does that please you, your highness?
oh, and guess what? yelling at me only makes me angry
i started off with mild disdain, ready to walk away from it for good, but that you asshats piped up and now i have to shout you down so i can get back to reading things i enjoy
10263207
i don't fucking like the fucking ship, you fucking drooling fucking moron
and if i don't like something that's a core part of the story, i'm not going to waste my goddamned motherfucking time on it
10263217
Okay, see, THAT is a reason that I can understand. I don't agree, but I understand. You could have had the decency to not be insulting about it, but there you go. That's a reason. Miles better than where we started.
But let me ask you this; Just because Spike and Gabby only shared one episode together, why does that automatically disqualify them from being a good ship? I mean, every single romance in history has to start somewhere, and from what I saw in the episode, Spike and Gabby got along really damn well. It's not a stretch to imagine that that one episode could serve as that starting point and that such a relationship could expand from further events that take place off-screen, is it?
I don't think so, and ultimately, neither does the author of this story, seeing as they wrote it. And I read it.
And I liked it. Is it perfect? Oh, no, there are some spelling issues scattered throughout, and I'm not sure how I feel about Starlight's unprecedented amount of sass, but in the end?
It's just some harmless, warm fluff meant to make people feel good and happy, even if only for a moment. The way I see it, that is enough. It does not need to be anything more, or anything different.
Especially not because someone like you happens to dislike the idea behind it.
You can't shift the blame for this on us. You brought this shitstorm upon yourself by dropping a giant steaming grumpy into the comments section. What did you think was gonna happen?
...Also, wow. And you were accusing me of being angry.
If all of this is pissing you off so much, just walk away. There is no reason for this to continue, and no one is forcing you to come back here to reply. You can go, and I think I speak for at least a small majority of the people observing this trainwreck that we'd all be better off for it.
10263233
yes
yes it does, especially when there was 0 hints of anything beyond friendship
you're reading a whole-ass oddysey's worth out of one page if you can see anything else
but romances are built, they don't just fucking spring from nothingness
if there was to be a romance between them, there'd have been an arc to properly assemble it
yes it is, see above
10263217
If you're that picky that something even being slightly off upsets you, I think you're in for a bad time. People are able to read things that they don't have a particular fondness for are mature and able to acknowledge people have different ideas than them. This isn't that. You're getting your panties in a knot over innocent cuddle fluff.
That's just extremely petty.
10263243
it isn't "something off", it's a whole-ass core tenet of the story
so someone who's willing to waste their time doing things they hate is mature? lemme tell ya something about time, chief: you can't make it back
10263241
For a longer story, yes, you would be absolutely right. But this ain't that. This is a one-shot with no more intention than to be cute and heartwarming to the people who read it. It's not meant to be some grand long epic with intricate character development or complicated throughlines. Nor does it need to be. It doesn't need to be anything more or less than what it is.
And what it is, clearly, is of no interest to you. So you do not need to stay here. You may go now. It is clear that we will not come to an agreement on this, and so I think it'd be best for everyone involved if this whole conversation just died. You've gotten really pissed, as evidenced by some of your other posts, and frankly? I have no desire to feed that further, and it is not healthy for you to feed it either.
Do yourself, and us, a favor. Go read what you enjoy. Find some positivity, have fun, and leave the people here to their own.
10263247
Hun, you're just being dense at this point.
derpicdn.net/img/2017/5/19/1440315/large.jpeg
10263249
romances need to be built, end of
if it is not built, it is not believable
and if it is not believable, it is worthless, useless, shit
no, you started this, you get to ride it out
be it here or dms, i don't give a flying damn
see previous
I was kind of hoping that it would end with her regurgitating some food into his mouth. I'm pretty sure I've watched too many bird videos recently.
10263252
no, the one being dense here is you, you fucking retard
look at my replies to you
you'll notice a repeated phrase
and a repeated sentiment
10263258
Listen hun, I think it's past your bedtime at this point.