About 15 years after Twilight takes over as Ruler of Equestria...five immortal alicorn princesses sit around a table in a retirement village and eat cake.
(Okay, maybe Celestia is eating most of the cake.)
Rated T for a LOT of innuendo/sexual dialog. You have been warned.
Flurry Heart is a teenager in this story.
This is NOT canon to my other princess stories, A mane fit for a princess and Twilight Sparkle orders hayburger delivery
Featured 5/18, 5/19, 5/20/20...
EDIT: Featured at #1 on 5/18/20...! Thanks so much you guys! 
Chapters (1)
Just a note, Silver Shoals is a coastal resort town. The princesses basically retired to pony Miami. The retirement village was something else that sounds similar. But lots of people get them confused.
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Are you a Golden Girls fan...?
This story sounds like it needs a slice of life tag. Why isn't there one?
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Added. I don't like to overdo genre tags, but I suppose you're right.
Cadence with sunglasses... w o w
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The only way the names are similar is that they're both two word names where the first word is silver and the second word starts with 's'. The retirement village is called Silver Stable. Just looked it up. And yeah, I'm surprised so few people put together that Silver Shoals would be on the coast, considering a shoal is pretty much a sandbar that doesn't breach the ocean's surface. Oceanic term.
So... has Equestria moved to paper currency? Because the logistics of thin underwear and hoof-sized golden coins seems... iffy.
"Twilight, for the record, I blame you."
"Look, the kirin were isolated for centuries. Plenty of time for their imaginations to run wild. Imagine what they'd be printing if I hadn't integrated them into the nation."
Thunder rumbled outside. "Child," Luna intoned, "We were long sealed in yonder Moon when the boomers' ancestors unto the sixth generation were not yet motes in their own forebears' eyes. Speak not to Us of the milksops thou scornest so."
"You're doing the thing again, Auntie Luna."
"Intentionally. Important distinction."
The humor largely hinges on "Ponies talking about having sex, how scandalous!" Leaning on that for the whole story yields diminishing returns. There were some fun moments, but quite a few others fell flat. Plus, some the subject shifts came with stark tonal ones, like confronting Cadence with Shining's mortality. Mixing things up would be best, but try not to delve too deep into the unfortunate implications on a comedy story.
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The story was originally going to be a more serious story focusing on this subject alone, then things took a turn For the worse?.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
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Huh. TIL.
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Also, considering they had a vow of silence, they had no other way to express their desires but the written word.
I guess he was pretty small and had a lot of extra room inside his G-string. Which would explain why Celestia didn't enjoy the sex.
Not a big fan of Cadence and the aunts tolerating an openly sexualized Flurry.
Also, this was hardly "innuendo"... it was outright sexual references.
Twilight has a fetish for books. Why am I not surprised.
And thus it has been proven that Celly really needs to cut back on her cake intake.
Faust help us all...
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Forget that, Luna has a donut on her horn.
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So does Twilight.
Interesting the kind of talks the 5 Alicorns would have when their not saving the planet. Pretty funny to hear them just be so blunt about sex though. But kinda accurate to their personality.
Bow to the 5 goddesses!
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Yeah, This is too true. Like, if this was posted back in 2010/2011, this may have been shocking. But we now have a literal decades worth of adult literature featuring these characters. There is nothing shocking about this to the seasoned veteran.
Not my jam but it’s nice.
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You forget Discord, oh wait.....
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Well excuse me while I get my time machine...
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Thank you fro taking the time to read my story.
That last line, though.
Fantastic! :)
All I can say is great job on this one-shot. Admittedly, the sex jokes were a bit hit-and-miss, but I DID like the characterizations behind the exchanges.
And, yeah, Celestia and Luna actually DO have a point about how the biggest downside to immortality (besides outliving most of those you really care about [though, considering how long a life span dragons have, at least Twilight will have ONE friend besides her fellow princesses who will live as long as her]) is that it can be very difficult to be - surprised.
And, yeah, the bit about Twilight having better luck than her mentor concerning that latest stallion to catch her mentor's eye WAS a pretty amusing pay-off.
Anyway, this was an entertaining one-shot that, aside from the overdone sex jokes, actually DID make a good point.
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Yeah, honestly, I intended that to be the main point of the story.
Glad you liked it!
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This was such a fun read, always love to see grown up flurry interact with the others
Nice story!
Twi knows what she likes!
This had such a Golden Girls vibe to it, I love it.
Just needed a stallion, such as Flash, to barge in, like Stan.
"Hi ladies, it's me, Flash."
"Really? Could have fooled me."
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I was actually imagining one of those "cheesecake scenes" in Golden Girls as I was writing this.
Glad you enjoyed the story!
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Aha ha ha, that gif is so perfect.
Many years ago I came across a pickup line that was so amazingly bad I’ve yet to see it beat.
Hey do you like math? Then lets add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
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Oh god
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It is, isn't it?
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