”...And finally, two infiltrators were able to successfully establish themselves in Tall Tale as town hall records manager and as postmaster, respectively. Both pony replacements and subsequent cleanup have gone smoothly thus far.”
Chrysalis nodded at her infiltrator advisor. Intelligence in the backwater town might not be the most valuable, but if it would allow additional collectors to more easily take root there, the allocation of two experienced infiltrators would undoubtedly be worth it.
“Understood, Odonata. How soon do you anticipate we will be ready to introduce collectors?”
Odonata winced. “As much as I would like to say soon, the records manager we were able to replace was a fairly new hire. No others were viable with either an abundance of family or friends, or other complications. I would estimate two to three months before she has enough rapport with her co-workers to get the level of unfettered access to records that we would need.”
A grumble left Chrysalis's pursed lips. “That timeline is too long. How feasible would it be to push it to one month?”
“Your majesty,” Odonata began, caution clear in his voice, “I understand the reasoning, but I don't think that would be wise given the circumstances. These ponies are not quite as trusting as we would have hoped. It seems they had a bad experience with a previous manager and are wary of the newbie. She needs time to prove herself as a competent individual.”
Chrysalis merely rose an eyeridge. “And what is your failure estimate if we proceed at the one month point?”
“Honestly, seventy to eighty percent. Her role is fairly introverted, so pushing to integrate herself faster will likely only raise suspicion.”
“Seven weeks, then. We cannot afford to wait any longer.”
Odonata took a deep breath, pausing for a moment, before nodding slowly. “Very well. It isn't ideal, but I will pass on instructions that she is to expect collectors in seven weeks.”
“Good. What else did you have?”
The advisor’s horn lit up and a paper floated in front of him. “The last update is the upcoming infiltrator graduation in just over two weeks. For the final evaluation, we have scoped out locations and this year I have chosen the abandoned village in the Hayseed Swamps, northeast of the hive. With Winter wrap up having passed a few weeks ago, we have begun minor repairs and expect the village will be suitable before the evaluations begin.
“Per your request last month, I passed on to the instructors that you would be attending the final eval as the capstone townspony target. The instructors are confident and anticipate all four remaining trainees will pass even with the additional challenge you pose.”
“Very good. With the volatile social climate in Equestria, especially with the recent addition of a fourth princess, I expect they may face harsh difficulties from the ponies. I will not go easy on them.”
A smile grew on Odonata's fanged muzzle. “I look forward to the show. It has been quite some time since someling other than myself took that role.”
“I hope the trainees do not disappoint.” Silence hung in the air for a few long seconds. “Was that all?”
“Yes, your majesty, unless you have any further questions.”
“I do not.” Chrysalis rose from her seat.
Odonata quickly rose with her, scooting back his chair and going into a stiff pose at attention.
“Carry on,” she said and turned, stepping towards the exit. She lit her horn and pulled the wooden door open before stepping out into her advisor’s foyer. Outside to her left was Odonata’s assistant, seated at his desk. Beside it was another changeling who swiftly rose and faced Chrysalis, a pair of slim saddlebags on her back.
“Greetings, your majesty,” the changeling offered a short bow before rising and looking up at Chrysalis, a clipboard floating out of her saddlebags. “Are you ready to depart?”
“I am, Alary.” Chrysalis continued to the advisor's hallway door, her aide at her side. Alary opened the door and Chrysalis stepped out into the administration hall. “How much time do we have before the hive health meeting?”
Alary floated out a stopwatch. “Just under ten minutes, ma'am.” She put the watch back in her bag and exchanged it for a love crystal. “Would you like to consume your daily love ration while we walk?”
“No, I will have it after the meeting. There is a planned forty-five minutes break in my schedule afterwards, is there not?”
“Assuming the meeting doesn't run long, that would be correct.” Alary placed the crystal back into her bag.
“It won't.” Chrysalis continued out of the administration hall and turned back to the main tunnel. “These rarely last more than fifteen minutes.”
“That does seem to be the trend, lately.”
The pair continued and, along their walk, other changelings stepped out of Chrysalis's way and offered bows as she passed. They made their way further downward into the hive and soon came to the throne hall. Passing the throne room doors, they continued past a couple other rooms before stopping in front of a planning room. Alary stepped to the side and her horn lit, once again opening the door.
Chrysalis gave a small nod to Alary and proceeded inside. In the room, Chrysalis noted that all of the meeting's five attendees were present, all of whom rose from their seats, eyes following her. She continued around the table to the far side of the room and took her seat at the table's head. Alary took her place next to Chrysalis and levitated out a notepad, a quill, and a jar of ink.
She looked over the group of advisors that had gathered. “Take your seats and let's get started.”
Once they were settled, Chrysalis turned to the first changeling on her right. “Tergum, let's begin with you.”
“Certainly, your majesty.” The changeling shuffled and read from the papers in front of him. “Medical is set to receive another two changelings from training, boosting our numbers to twenty-six in total. That will leave us fully staffed in all specialties except for surgeons.”
Tergum paused for a short moment and when Chrysalis said nothing, he continued. “Moving on, we have no shortage of medical supplies and are continuing to receive regular restocking from the couriers. Finally, the total number of changelings under our long term care has fallen from three to two, with the release of a fully recovered changeling.”
“I see. That is excellent.” She still found herself relieved months later that she no longer had to hear of the increasing number of changelings that had been found, brought back, and placed under medical care. Even more so that she didn't have to hear of nearly half those who could not be saved. For months, it seemed every week there would be another of her children succumbing to their wounds.
Fifty-seven in total. She had no doubt that number would haunt her for years to come.
Chrysalis looked to the next changeling at the table. “Cercus, how are the caretakers?”
“Yes, ma'am, I'll start with morale.” Cercus peered down at his papers for a brief moment. “We've received new shipments of books, games, playing cards, and other entertainment stock. I'll be going over them within the next week to ensure they're appropriate according to your guidelines. Next, we've had to cancel the meal portion of our monthly morale event again due to shortage of love. It seems cancelling our last meal had a fairly negative impact overall as changelings were excited to get an extra helping of love. I imagine we will see significantly less participation if this continues.”
“The concern is understood,” Chrysalis began, “however, if we are to survive until we have become a distant memory to ponies, we cannot spare any additional love at this time.”
Cercus nodded. “I understand, ma'am. I have told the other advisors to send word to their hive-based castes that we are aware of their disappointment and that we will be continuing morale event meals as soon as feasible.”
“Very well. What else?”
“Same as usual, there are no changelings or ponies in our prison, so the caretakers have no resources dedicated there. Regarding our captive ponies, we remain at forty-three in pods with no change in number since last week. We have had zero incidents during their walks and, of course, no escapes.”
Chrysalis was far more pleased about that than she knew she should have been. Shortly after the invasion, caretaker staffing had been low enough that they had to take two or three ponies out on walks at a time. It came as little surprise to her that one woke up from their induced haze and attempted to flee. When she'd returned to put the pony back into a love-producing sleep, she was informed the attempt was quickly quelled. She still held suspicions that they had softened the true extent of the incident.
“And the young?” Chrysalis moved on.
Cercus cycled his pages. “Your most recent batch of eggs is developing well. They appear to be on track for hatching in just over two weeks. Both the grubs and the nymphs are continuing to be fed full sized love meals. This generation of grubs are also on track for a metamorphosis in approximately three to four weeks.”
Chrysalis hummed. “Everything seems to be going smoothly for you. Was that all?”
“Yes, it is going quite smoothly indeed. That was everything.”
“Good.” Chrysalis looked to the opposite side of the table. “Katydid. What of the workers?”
“Hello, your Majesty.” Katydid bowed her head. “Keeping the subcastes relevant to the meeting, as always, I will start with the cooks. As you’re aware, our solid food supply was fairly diminished from Winter. Earlier this week, we received our first Spring delivery of foodstuffs. This has brought us back to reasonable quantities and I expect the next few weeks will replenish us to an excess that we can begin preserving.”
Chrysalis nodded. “And of variety? I am growing fairly tired of oats, nuts, and bread.”
“Absolutely. We’ve requested additional foods to include beans, dried fruits and vegetables, preserved fish, high protein grains, and a variety of edible seeds.”
“Good. And what is the status of our culinary students?”
Katydid flipped a few papers over and shored up her sheets. “So far, so good. No change in status from last week. Both gatherer transfers are excelling in their classes at the Manehatten Culinary Institute and are still expected to graduate on time this Summer. Until they return, our single qualified chef will continue passing on her knowledge through on-the-job training.”
Chrysalis nodded. “I believe I speak for the entirety of the hive when I say that everyling would be happy with fresh recipes in the cafeteria,” Chrysalis hummed and put on a smirk, “Actually I do speak for the entirety of the hive.”
Her joke garnered a few, modest chuckles out of her advisors and she had to catch a growing frown with an indifferent expression. As was usual when she attempted to relate to her children, she couldn’t help but feel they were merely placating her. It was more frustrating than she cared to admit.
Mother never had these kinds of problems. But mother was also content with changelings merely existing. Never did she push boundaries.
Her mother also didn’t attempt and fail at an invasion.
Be quiet, traitorous thoughts. She mentally shook herself and focused back to the brief at hoof. “What else do you have, Katydid?”
She flipped to the next page in her stack. “Next, the physical fitness area remains fully functional with only minor equipment failures. All damaged equipment have already had requisition requests placed for them. The track remains usable and in good condition from its resurfacing last Fall. Finally, mortuary services and cleaner capabilities remain fully staffed and trained. And that’s all I have, Majesty.”
“Very good. I’m pleased everything appears to be in order.” Chrysalis raised an eyeridge at the next advisor. “We will come back to you Arista.”
Arista gave a small smile and bowed his head. “As per usual, ma’am.”
Chrysalis skipped to the next advisor. “Kairomone, how is the finalization of search and rescue?”
“It goes well, ma’am,” Kairomone replied. “As I briefed last week, all search and rescue teams have been disbanded. We have passed all records to the infiltrators of the final four unaccounted-for changelings from the invasion force. This week we are finishing documentation of all our actions and will submit our records to the controllers for archival. At that point it will merely be upon your word that the search and rescue caste be dissolved back into the recovery caste.”
“This is good news.” Chrysalis nodded. “Once you have finished your tasks, schedule a meeting with the controllers and coordinate with Alary for my attendance.”
“Understood.”
And then it came time for Chrysalis’s least favorite part of the week. “If there is nothing else, all but Arista may leave.”
She swept her eyes across each of her advisors, seeing nothing but shuffling of paper and changelings standing from their seats. A few moments later and the only ones left in the room were her, Arista, and Alary.
She took a breath and turned to her final advisor. “Alright, Arista. What news do you have to ruin my day with this week?”
Arista chuckled and gave her a smile she couldn’t help but find irritating. “I would consider this week’s news to be more… neutral rather than negative. No collectors have been discovered or captured and no crystals intercepted from the gatherer side. However, we still have sourceless collectors at Hoofington, Trottingham, Las Pegasus, Manehatten, Cincinneighti, Vanhoover, Canterlot, and Applewood, leaving us where we were last week with twelve collectors without sources.”
Chrysalis let out a growl. “Twelve last week, and the week before, and the week before that! Oh wait, my mistake, three weeks ago we were only down eleven.” She slammed her hoof on the table. “We’re seven months post-invasion and we’re still losing sources!”
“I apologize, ma’am. Our collectors are doing what they can. With our new procedures requiring very high fidelity information before replacing ponies, many collectors are being stonewalled by the lack of pony individual’s history. Some have reported anxiety and unease over merely maintaining their sources. We are working, but only as fast as Equestria allows.”
“Arista, time is not a luxury we have. All of us are already on half love rations and our reserves are rapidly dwindling. Either the collectors shape up and find sources or we have to kidnap more ponies. I shouldn’t have to tell you which carries exorbitantly more risk.”
Arista shook his head. “No, you don’t, Majesty. I have already instructed lead collectors to assist in potential source identification. The infiltrators are assisting where they can, but they are limited in number and already overtasked.”
“I am fully aware of the status of your fellow advisor’s caste,” Chrysalis spat. “We are discussing your caste’s lack of productivity, not his.”
Chrysalis’s eyes narrowed at the flakes of frustration Arista was letting through and his following, near imperceivable huff.
“As I said, your Majesty, we are trying. My—our collectors are pushing to be as social and sociable as they can. I know we don’t have time, but time is the only thing that will prevent even more collector losses.”
“Then what would you have me do?” she nearly pleaded. “We are all starving. If we don’t come to a solution in a few months’ time, there won’t be a hive left to feed.”
“I—” Arista cut himself off before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “I was planning on bringing it up with you today. I… have been toying with an idea for the last few days, now that the hive is relatively stable again. However, I suspect for what I'm suggesting, we will need to make use of a squad of specialized infiltrators. And, of course, it will require time.”
That had her attention, but it brought equally as much skepticism. “Hmm, very well. Go on.”
“The other day, I went to retrieve my daily love ration. What I was given was one of the rare delights,” he levitated up a bag and upturned it onto the table, a loud clatter as a single object fell out, “a love-dense crystal.”
Chrysalis immediately understood. “I see. You suggest we attempt to solve this puzzle ourselves.”
Arista nodded. “This has been going on for years now and there is no time like the present to figure it out. Somehow, these crystals have nearly twice the amount of love that every other collector produces. They can be split into twice as many meals of equal nutrition, just as this one was. If we can understand what is happening and make use of that, we could double the output of every collector.”
“You mentioned including infiltrators. I presume that means you wish to keep this from the resident collectors. You don't think their assistance would be helpful?”
“Honestly, no.” Arista shook his head. “In my opinion, if they had the capacity to solve this on their own, they would have done so by now. I say we try to get an outside perspective and, if need be, request their help afterwards.”
“I suppose I cannot fault the logic. And where would you suggest we start? Hoofington or Ponyville?”
“Hoofington, definitely,” Arista immediately answered. “There were only two deliveries from Ponyville before the dense crystals stopped and neither of the collectors in town had any knowledge of it. Not to mention there’s a brand new princess there. In Hoofington, however, we know specifically who is producing them.”
Chrysalis nodded, expecting exactly that answer. “The collector in Hoofington, what was her name again?”
“Firefly, your Majesty.”
Chrysalis hummed. It was certainly a conundrum she’d been requesting be answered for quite some time. And if they didn’t do it now, there was the chance they’d never know. Plus, if it turned out profitable… “Very well. I would like to keep that crystal.” She levitated her own out of Alary's saddlebags and swapped it with Arista's, bringing the dense crystal up to her gaze. “Coordinate with Odonata and get on my schedule later this week.”
“Absolutely, I will meet with him today. I will also reiterate to the collector leads the severity of our love situation. Was there anything else you wished to discuss?”
Chrysalis momentarily lowered the crystal from her vision. “No, that will suffice. You may leave.”
Arista nodded and began shuffling his papers into order. He then took the normal crystal before standing and leaving the room.
Firefly… Chrysalis thought, gazing at the crystal once again and taking in a tiny taste of the rich flavor. Just what secrets are you holding?
Oh snap, things are about to get intense, aren't they? If Chrysalis finds out what exactly is making the crystals so efficient, she might just flip out. The invasion is basically the one thing she could have done to completely close the door to getting more of those. Then again, doubtful without it Firefly herself would know what was causing that.
Two updates so soon! Is it Christmas?
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Somehow I don't have a lot of confidence that Chrysalis is not going to try to cover this up with some A-tier ego-driven foolishness and thus just make things worse.
Again, with bureaucracy comes a reasonably reasonable Queen Chrysalis. The wonders of bureaucracy never cease.
It seems that some time has passed, since Twilight already grew wings here. Maybe our loving couple did get some rest before shit hits the fan. Again.
Excellent. Non-Sociopathic!Chrysalis. Seriously, Canon!Chrysalis kinda sucks.
I really like how you write Chrysalis. She is well-focused, smart, and a good leader. Sure she has a little bit of a temper, but not enough to be detrimental to her goals, from what it seems. Though, would love to see your version of what happened at the wedding too, at least in how it differed from the canon and all, from the changeling's POV.
Loving the story so far and can hardly wait to read more!
"There were only two deliveries from Ponyville before the dense crystals stopped and neither of the collectors in town had any knowledge of it."
Hm, well that's interesting...
...I mean, assuming I'm not just forgetting something from earlier in the story, I suppose.
And that was a good and interesting chapter, I thought; thank you for writing! :)
And a wonderful ____________ to you too! :D
(Oh, and as for EFNW, while my prospects have improved a bit since earlier in the year, I'm unfortunately still expecting to not make this year's. I hope that that meet and greet goes well, if it happens, though!)
"with the recent addition of a fourth princess" We've already moved all the way through Season 3? 10 chapters ago, we had just finished Season 2.
43 ponies in pods giving off love? How are their bodies sustained? How do they get real food and water? Is there something like an IV drip? How do they get rid of bodily waste?
"Somehow, these crystals have nearly twice the amount of love that every other collector produces. They can be split into twice as many meals of equal nutrition, just as this one was. If we can understand what is happening and make use of that, we could double the output of every collector." The secret, of course, is honesty. Loving a changeling for who they are, knowing they're a changeling and still truly loving them, makes the best love. Gives me high hopes for how this story could end, possibly diverging from canon.
"There were only two deliveries from Ponyville before the dense crystals stopped and neither of the collectors in town had any knowledge of it." Hmm. I wonder who the changeling in Ponyville is who's getting those love-dense crystals? Kevin, maybe? (He appeared in episode 100, Slice of Life.)
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Maybe this story has the potential to show how she slowly became as high-strung as she was in the final seasons of the show. But I suspect not, since, as I said above, it looks like this story will cause things to diverge from canon.
I have the feeling that the two deliveries have something to do with the story or are just a joke like Pinkie pie throwing the two collectors a "Welcome-to-Ponyville-Party", and because she's Pinkie knew they were changelings but since they didn't take the place of reals ponies she just choose to say nothing.
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yeah Chrysalis really screwed the pooch and if Chrysalis pushes too hard Firefly will flip, especially if she tries replacing Firefly with a different Ling. Nice chapter anyways.
Given this chapter ALSO caught me off guard, arriving outside of the regular day (Sunday) and earlier then expected, you don't need me to tell you that the apology for its length is totally unnecessary. I probably would have already considered Chapter 9 and this to be one chapter, split only because of the POV change and time skip, given they share so much - the setting, the transitional feel, the obvious-but-still-exciting Act II setups, and even a similar structure (I'll get to that shortly) - but the five day difference only seals it. If it helps, think of the duo as one chapter split in two but still published right next to one another - that way, it's less then 100 words shy of 10K, a "normal" length for this story.
The pace was definitely quicker this time, with virtually none of the internal brooding that's a defining feature of our three main characters. Understandably so - Chrysalis would hardly be given over to such things! Well, one could write her that way, but this is much better. She's all business, and as a result, this chapter is far more overwhelmingly plot then they usually are. Not an issue whatsoever, as what's going on here is super-captivating.
I'd mentioned before that this chapter's internal structure is eerily similar to the last one. There, the first half gets us up to speed after a time skip, illustrating the current state of affairs for the hive while sprinkled with juicy, delicious world building as to how the hive governs itself. Then the second half turns into a probing character piece, as a delicate situation regarding information very sensitive to a main character dictates a new course of action be taken. One that will have lasting, irrevocable effects for said character.
Discount that in this case, the second half is only the last quarter or so instead, and the main character is not present (though the effect on the viewer is no less visceral), and that structure maps onto this chapter perfectly. If anything, I think that last difference makes this even more effective - the instant the supercharged love crystals are raised, the reader contorts with recognition and fear, and that only magnifies ones Hoofington is decided on and Firefly is name-dropped. That takes real effective buildup and character investment, for moments so brief, and for which the prose here is plain and to the point - again, Chrysalis and Arista are all business, understandably. You're playing us like a fiddle, Azure. I'd be annoyed, if I wasn't so impressed.
As our first POV scene with Chrysalis, it poses some interesting curiosities. Believe it or not, at first I had trouble gelling with her characterisation. How was the snarling, megalomaniacal changeling queen so calm, collected and efficient? Then I realised that perhaps her sub-par writing in the show's lesser back half, where all but one of her appearances come from, was to blame. I thought hard about everything she does and says in "A Canterlot Wedding", and, once we account for the illogical choice for an invasion in the first place - boy, I don't envy you having to figure out and implement a justification for that - and Chrysalis' atrocious performance as Cadence, it slotted into place much better. We simply don't know enough about Chrysalis from that episode, and thus it's brief enough to buy her "evil laugh"-type villain behaviour to be mostly still a front to her enemies. That's how I'm choosing to read it, anyway. I'm sure more backstory on top of what we already have will be forthcoming, and enlighten more - you already dropped a hint of that here, with the aside as to how Chrysalis' mother ran the hive.
Even more so then last chapter, due to the lack of internal brooding and deep thinking, it felt like every other sentence was telling us something new about how the changeling govern and organise themselves logistically. Caretakers getting in Pony recreational activities and objects for monitored morale? Sure, why not! Taking captive, induced ponies out on walks? Makes sense, to keep their bodies from wasting away. Importing some solid food to keep them going? Naturally. Several changelings training to be professional chefs in Equestria, both as a professions while being Collectors (implied) and to directly benefit the day-to-day good in the hive? Nice. A physical fitness area? Goes without saying. A lot of these individual things are straightforward, but that there's so many, and they all makes sense, is quite the achievement. And, exquisitely, it's all delivered in a natural context, there's not a drop of forced exposition here. As well there shouldn't, everyling knows how the hive works!
That's most of my normal, analytical thoughts. Given the (justified) shortness here, I have a few gut-reaction comments.
Yeah, good luck with that, cupcake. That'll take many decades, not account for immortal alicorns. Plus, you know, ponies record their history.
[Yes I know Chrysalis really just means until the fear and distrust stemmed by the failed invasion has lifted. Don't deny me this moment. Besides, that'll still take a long, long time.]
Oh gee, I wonder where a new character for this story could be…?
Honestly, when I first saw the mention of a fourth princess, I groaned inwardly. I'd kinda been hoping the story wouldn't timeskip, at least not this soon, to post-"Magical Mystery Cure". Mostly because you'd been so freed by the story's chosen time period, it seemed counterintuitive to jump that far forward this soon, and weigh yourself down with more canon you're obliged to adhere to. That, and of course, if this story starts involving actual canon characters bar Chrysalis in the future, it's more beneficial to not have another basically unstoppable character on the pony's side, presents story problems in having characters not win conflicts/flights.
On the other hand, one possible benefit of this decision is giving Equestria hot news that's at the forefront of everyone's mind, thereby pushing the invasion more out of everyone's mind (something the return of the Crystal Empire couldn't have done, at least not for the whole realm). Giving more plausible weigh to changelings gradually blending back into the background. Which could be a balancing point for a future story thread! I can see that as a possibility.
I also balked at the first mention of months - were you really shoehorning Season 3 into that tight a timeframe, even though the common fan-adopted timeline has it spread across 2-3 months? - before this chapter was also revealed to be a timeskip, and not directly after the last one (though it does beg the question of what Search and Rescue has been doing, to take nearly six months to disband and pack up shop). Seven months fits fine, and also makes it quite curious as to where we're going to pick up with Sweet Leaf and Fine Roast next time. So much could have happened! And probably has. Act II's going to be delightful, I know it! Well, for the reader, anyway. Not for the characters!
We're almost certainly back to a more normal wait between chapters, now that Act II is upon us. Can't wait! As always, take all the time you need. It'll be worth it. Look after yourself, Azure, that always comes first!
And again, don't let the length bother - antagonist-led scenes (Chrysalis still fulfils that role structurally, no matter where you take this story) tend to be shorter, as they're never passive and exist largely to develop obstacles, directly or not, for our protagonists. Which, hey, look what piece of news this chapter ends on! It's all business, with minimal lingering for effect. Plus, as the title says, it is an interlude. Fits, and you times its publish appropriately.
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Ehhhhhh, I was thinking about just doing like seven chapters on the mundane life of Firefly and Roast with some sprinkles of two or three chapters with Spindle feeding grublings their daily meal of love and stuffing some ponies with nutrient gel. No need to rush, right? It's not like major plot reveals just happened or anything.
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If only real world bureaucracy could be just as magical...
Seven months is quite a while and with the hive busy cleaning up a certain royal oopsie, downtime was most certainly had. It's unfortunate that the downtime didn't quite fit in with the story.
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Writing Chrysalis was an experience. I've always kind of disliked how they portrayed her in later seasons. I can deal with her canon attitude during- and immediately-post-invasion, but I cannot subscribe to the power hungry megalomaniac she was turned into later. I can even understand a desire for revenge after a period, convincing herself that ponies were at fault for her failures, but not to the extent they took her.
That's a long way to say that I believe she deserves better and I shall continue to do good by her. Well, as much as I can considering she is, after all, still the antagonist.
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You did not forget anything from earlier. This is, indeed, brand new knowledge.
nou!
(And that's perfectly alright, though a little sad. Maybe another year!)
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Timeskips have a way of doing that.
This will be revealed in story later. Probably. As long as the plot doesn't grow legs and run off again.
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See? I can follow through with timelines I set! ...sometimes.
This also had something to do with me not being fully immersed in Chrysalis's character like I had become with my main characters. I will admit that getting fully into her head isn't the easiest thing to do. It didn't quite come as naturally as my own characters, which, as a relatively inexperienced author, gives me something to ponder on later when animating pre-defined characters.
Slow buildup is my game. It's one of the reasons I have a very hard time writing one-shots (and a reason why it took me ten years to get a halfway decent story out to the public). There are too many missing details that have lessened impact in shorter stories because you haven't developed that emotional connection yet. I still lament that Unchanging Love was my first story and thus didn't get the love that Unending Love (pun not intended) has received. But life is as it does! You never get anywhere if you don't take that first, shaky step.
This... is something I wish I could have delved into more. I actually did try to fit it in, but I couldn't get it to feel right in this chapter, what with its molasses-thick world building, hive administration theme, and what amounted to a lengthy transition scene to the next installment of misery for the main characters. I do have plans for addressing it later, though, so stay tuned! (that is to say, it will be addressed over time probably fully by chapter 35~. Probably.)
It really kind of was. Both the previous chapter and this were one of the few places I'm able to widely articulate how the hive works, and boy do I like to go overboard. The reader doesn't have any need to know about the fitness facilities at the hive, the lack of variety of diet over the Winter, or that they had to forego the meal portion of their morale event. But it immerses the reader in the world and makes it more real. There will be more details about the hive in the coming chapters, but they'll be more focused on areas around characters rather than broad detailing, like this chapter was.
This was a decision I didn't take lightly and, despite my plot already being made, pretty heavily debated over, even as late as around posting chapter 8. The problem I kept facing was what content would there really be while the hive is licking its wounds? I could have detailed more about how Firefly was receiving "training" from Skitter to not fall in love with Roast, but that felt like filler and not progressing the plot. I could have generated some other Equestrian-based problem for the couple to face, but it would either need to be of a lesser degree than the previous (which is a no-no in story telling) or have the plot revolve around that. And with the spoilers from the cover art, everyone knew Chrysalis would have to become the antagonist eventually.
In the end, I needed Winter to pass (since Unchanging Love was set in the Fall (the end of September, to be precise)), and since we were at the end of season 2, seven months would have seen significant progress made towards the Crystal Kingdom and Twilight's enwingening.
Actually... the first timeskip was around four months. There is one explicit mention of it in chapter 9, but there are also tiny details scattered throughout that show the extent of the skip. A few, for example, would be Spindle returning to the hive mid-Winter, her current team having taken two to three weeks to complete their task, and her having been on at least four (more accurately seven) trips out (from: "The scent of their pheromones wafted over and Spindle recognized them as the same mare that had greeted the last team she was on and at least half of her teams before that").
I know I've said this before, but I'd really like to get back to one to two releases per month. With any luck, my body will get tired of hating me and let me have some lasting peace. Plus, this is the point I've been dying to get to for literally the entire past year. Wrapping up Unchanging Love and setting the chess table has been great, but now, this is where the real story begins.
Poggers
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I'm glad to hear so! She deserves some good justice after what the canon writers did to her! Sure she might be the antagonist, but that doesn't mean she can't also be smart, cunning, and know what she is doing!
You are doing great so far, and I'm sure you will continue to do so. ^.^
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Well, it worked more then well enough in the moment! Probably not a direction to repeat next time we're with Chrysalis, but as she's a guest POV, I'd wager that's a fair bit away yet.
Hm… why am I suddenly getting a vivid image of a whole host of finished but discarded one-shots on Azure's computer that went unpublished due to dissatisfaction with the end result?
Anyway, you could always just go for a story that would be "normally" told in one-shot length, and balloon it up to novella length. I've seen it work, many times.
…At first I was going to point out that Unchanging Love got a huge second wind in readers, right around the time you began publishing the sequel - it's views to that point were only a fifth of what they are now! From all the fics I've checked the traffic for, that kind of thing is a very, very rare occurrence (much like a fic getting in the featured box when it's not new, and without an update).
Anyway, I now realise you're referring to the fic's quality, and that it doesn't get to linger nearly as much as Unending Love does. Which, yeah, I understand. But it's still really good, a phenomenal first effort! And you're not resting on your laurels, as this fic shows. I'd point out that you could have updated and edited the existing chapters there before publishing Unending Love, before its traffic exploded (technically, you still could, but I understand why that would be not ideal, now this many people have read it), but I suppose that's a moot point now.
The right call. I'm sure you'll find a way to integrate that seamlessly into future chapters! Besides, don't want to reveal all your secrets this early.
…have you ever seen Oliver's timeline project for the series, My Little Chronology? One's free to rearrange the specific placement of many episodes there, but the main takeaway is that, since "Princess Twilight Sparkle" forces Season 1-3 to take place in just under a year, that "A Canterlot Wedding" is more likely somewhere around March, if we take the Summer Sun Celebration to be akin to the Summer Solstice, in late June.
Also… if you're having the failed Canterlot invasion at the end of September, and Twilight's ascension sometimes in the following six-and-a-half months, the latest she can ascend is mid-April. No way "Princess Twilight Sparkle" takes place two months after "Magical Mystery Cure" - a few weeks at most.
Point being, there's some timeline muddling there! Not something to get hung up on, the show's full of it. But it does mean that you hardly need to have that as a justification for reluctantly skipping ahead this far.
…Am I missing something here? You just did a timeskip. Unless you're trying to say that this is sticking to show canon and not having the changelings emerge publicly until Season 6 (something I seriously doubt, based on everything else here and your expressed dislike for Chrysalis from that era), this doesn't make any sense.
I mean, it's your story, you know best. The justification just doesn't explain anything, at least not how's it's expressed here.
Gone back and checked that mention of four months…
This is what happens when I remember mostly what I commented on, and not the rest.
A monthly release schedule feels right for this story to me, proportional to the quality in chapters and their length. By all means, shoot for fortnightly, but take it from me: if you can hit a new chapter monthly, you've nothing to feel bad about!
I''ll let Pinkie sum up my excitement. This really is like transitioning into a new story! Especially given, outside of the two Spindle chapters, Chapters 1-8 were far more a part of Unchanging Love then this story (there's an alternate universe out there where this is the case). I know I'm going to love what's to come.
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Ah, thanks. :)
Well, I do wonder if we'll find out more about that at some point, then... :)
"nou!"
This, I'm afraid I don't follow, though.
"(And that's perfectly alright, though a little sad. Maybe another year!)"
Aye, perhaps/hopefully! Unfortunately, my previously quite convenient location for Bronycon has me a continent's width away from EFNW.
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Things from my olden days (back when I still used Scrivener) that will probably never be worked on again.
i.ibb.co/9GLSDcV/image.png
Since the publishing of Unending Love, the plan has been, if I ever achieve the dream of publishing hard copies, Unchanging Love will be re-written in Unending Love's style and incorporated into Act I. Then the acts would be separated out into their own stories with their own titles. Assuming everything goes as I planned. Which it probably won't. Serial stories have a unique way of messing up plans.
I have not. It looks interesting, though.
Minus some inter-episode references and hard blockers, the slice of life nature of the show has always given me the idea that it really doesn't matter when things happen in a season as long as the weather is correct (i.e. not snowing during bright, sunshiny days). Not to mention the general lack of care of chronology due to multiple writers and it being marketed to children. Plus the writer's admittance that any technology or date reference were used as gags without much care of how that affects any other episode (again, written by different people in different rooms). No, I'm completely, definitely not jaded. Not in the slightest.
In other words, the writers didn't care, so I do what I want within the hard restrictions.
I can see why this would cause confusion. When creating Unending Love, the elements I had to work with were the leftovers from Unchanging Love. Most notably, Firefly's dense love crystals and her realization in the epilogue that telling the hive would probably be a bad thing. I could have chosen a different plotline, but the focus has always been on Firefly and Roast's relationship and how that's threatened by the environment around them.
I'm not very much a fan of stories that seem to meander around without a goal in mind. If you give me an element in the beginning and you aren't making progress on solving or addressing it, I get a little... . The argument can be made that Act I did just that, and that's fair, but nearly the entirety of Act I addressed or made note of the loose ends from Unchanging Love.
Back to the initial question, with as devastating a blow to the hive as they suffered, it would take time to recover from that. During that time, the main conflicts to be addressed were Wavy Pallete's suspicions and Firefly's love uniqueness. Adding anything else in-between the end of Unchanging Love and the point where the hive has stopped it's metaphorical bleeding and was ready to "confront" Firefly wouldn't have felt right to me. It would have extended the story in a way I wasn't confident would remain focused or enjoyable and not feel like a side-tangent.
In addition, any major plot conflicts in Unending Love had to be greater in severity than that of Unchanging Love and the only other conflict that would have fit that description was Equestria actually discovering them. And if that happened, by necessity of the exposition-rising action-climax-falling action-denouement format (Freytag's Pyramid), things would have had to escalate from and around an Equestria-based antagonist. It would have left little to no room, in my mind, to properly address the Hive's concerns about Firefly's love crystals. On top of that, addressing both at the same time would have forced me to put Firefly (and Roast) in a very tight and uncomfortable place.
In the end, I decided to forgo adding any conflicts between the invasion and the Hive's gaze turning upon Firefly.
Which leaves us where we are now. For a rare moment, I will put aside my normal humility and reluctance to self praise and say that the rest of the story is going to be an amazing adventure. Almost everything there will have you gripping your seat, clutching your chest in disbelief, or grabbing for tissues.
And I can't wait.
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Maaaaaaaaybe...
nou is an old internet thing which expands out to "no you." It could be equated to the more common meme of the Uno reverse card. https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/uno-reverse-card
Essentially, it was a cheeky way of saying, "no, you have a wonderful ____________!"
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You know, I was always wondering why the freaking 29th user on this site would wait 8 years, near the end of the show and well after the apogee of the fandom to write their first story. Guess this also explains why your apparently first stories would be this gripping.
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Haha... well.. the two things about that are little somethings called “self-confidence” and “perfectionism.” I was absolutely certain for a long long while that my stories weren't much good at all. And (in my mind at the time) if they weren't much good, they didn't deserve to be published. It wasn't until I made a good friend at Everfree 2019 before I was taken out of that cycle. I'd regaled him with the plot of Unchanging Love and after half an hour of literary discourse, he told me I needed to publish it. Of course, I didn't trust that it was actually all that good, but he pushed me and I eventually conceeded.
And what a good thing he did! I learned that I can actually write things (and got some self-confidence) and my readers get to enjoy my ramblings. Win-win!
The moral of the story is that even if you don't think you're good enough to do something, you'll never know until you take that first step. You might just be surprised.
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Oh, you tease! Those titles and placeholder descriptions certainly do make one curious, though I've enough experience with the process to totally understand you scrapping them (in my case, things normally get scrapped before the proper writing, at the outline stage - my outlines tend to be long enough to be akin to beat sheets).
Still, perhaps we may see a one-shot from you in the future. Probably a lengthy one, befitting your writing style and preference for visceral, immersive detail.
Also, Scrivener! That's a blast from the past.
Ah, the Lord of the Rings effect. Makes sense. I've seen it work before. And given how often I've commented on most of Act I of Unending Love and Unchanging Love being one and the same, I approve (though I am fully aware the first story would need almost a page-one rewrite, outside of dialogue you opted to not change, to make the match seamless - and the first chapter of Unending Love would need revisions to eliminate the recap at the start too. Nothing you couldn't handle!)
I'd be the same - this would all be a moot point were it not for the easily-avoidable yet unfortunate direct implication that Seasons 1-3 last just a few weeks shy of a year. But, I digress.
It is still kind of the case that there's no reason whatsoever that you couldn't have just said/implied "oh, we're not at Twilight's ascension yet". But, no matter. 7 months fits for the hive getting out of the bleeding phase, as it were. And given it will be ages, if at all, that canon characters get proper involved, it's a moot point. If you remain confident that the story will not suffer from having to bow to canon events going forward so soon, I'll share that faith.
…Mm, very good, but I didn't suggest adding any. Think our wires got crossed along the way - that explanation was great, but nothing I hadn't already figured out. Studied narrative structure in many mediums over the years! Keeping the conflicts centralised and focused, building naturally from one another, escalating in tension and severity… standard stuff! Perhaps not in the world of fanfiction, where many just go crashing in, but that just shows the quality here.
Anyway, rest assured that if you thought I was doubting your decisions as to the flow of conflicts, or when to do timeskips - I wasn't. You know me, Azure. Outside of wondering if having the 7-month timeskip (itself perfectly logical) necessitate being parallel to Season 4, rather then just not worrying about it. As outlined above. Keep to your plan, it's paid dividends so far!
Well, can't really grip a seat, I'd go right through it. And tissues, well, ghosts lack the capacity to produce water from our eyes. You're spot-on otherwise - to no surprise, I also cannot wait. I'm sure most of the 600+ tracking this fic would agree.
Also, I noticed a significant milestone for this fic - while it had less likes then Unchanging Love, it has lower enough dislikes to have a higher Ranking in terms of rating - while that one is bubbling outside the top 2100s, this has inched inside the top 2000 rated fics on the site! That is a very impressive achievement, both for a fic published in 2020 and for a fic with only 2.6K+ views. That can only happen when many more people are impressed by what they read, and react accordingly with likes. Well done, Azure!
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Ooh, that's an interesting nugget! Always wondered as to that eight-year gap, though I did know you'd hemmed and hawed over the perceived quality. One thing's for certain, that friend of yours from Everfree 2019 deserves much thanks from all of us!
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Fun fact: as I have said in the past, Unchanging Love was meant to be a writing warm-up. One of those stories in that folder was one that I was warming up for. Dunno if I'll ever get to it now.
I suppose some wires probably did get crossed. One thing I don't think I ever actually mentioned is that I have always intended to stick to canon. The exceptions are "what would have happened if Chrysalis wasn't a megalomaniacal dumb dumb" and certain small changes like how the hive isn't some massive, very obvious, ill-conceived structure.
And you're completely correct, I didn't have to skip all the way to Twilight's ascension. However, I did and now we're in season 4~ territory. ...And I'll leave it at that.
I noticed this as well and while the story is still relatively unknown, it is certainly a milestone of sorts. Not somewhere I thought I'd be those years ago, or even when first posting.
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:)
Ahh, thanks. :)
(Though I think that this might be the first time I've encountered the meme of the Uno reverse card.)
And thanks for the content of said reply as well, then! :)
DUN DUN DUNNNN!!!
This story is amazing thankyou for your amazing work it's rare for a story to keep me up to 3am but you did
Nice chapter! It's interesting seeing the hive's bureaucracy at work.
I didn't expect a time skip to season 4, or for Chrysalis to get involved in Firefly's story as an antagonist. The big about other dense love crystals is intriguing. Looking forward to the rest.
Two lings in Ponyville? But they only produced two crystals before getting compromised? 🤔
Took them a while to make time to investigate the curious anomalies that would greatly increase productivity. Whelp, time to deal with that target on their backs...
Dammit, I'm caught up! Now I have to wait like everyone else. :(
And thats it. Im all caught up. Time to settle in and w a i t
Srsly tho im really enjoying this one. Changelings are my favourite creatures in Equestria and Firefly and Roast are adorable together
every time this story pops up in "Featured Stories" I have a Hope that the story has a new chapter. And every time my hopes are dashed against the harsh reality.
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Huh. I wasn't aware this was popping up anywhere at the moment.
An update shall be coming soon-ish, hopefully within a month. Work has been an exceptional pain lately, but with this year's EverfreeNW coming to an end last night, I hope to start spending more time on both this and another story I'm fiddling with.
Whelp It's been around a year (Ish) Since I was last on Fimfic and jumping back into this story was indeed an incredibly fine way to celebrate my return to this platform.
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Ah, yes! Welcome back, friend from DeviantArt! I'm glad you were able to enjoy your return to the land of the pone fics. More to come soon-ish™. Gotta finish up the chapter and await some chapter 11 art.
Until then, enjoy your stay and I shall see you on the flip side!
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That chronology link is dead, but I found an archive of it here: https://web.archive.org/web/20200710201613/https://fim-chronology-pa.lindro.me/