Sad4,354 stories ·2,623 members
The Writers' Group56,538 stories ·9,303 members
One-Shots18,933 stories ·2,369 members
This is my fault – the student who needed me the most was the one I couldn't help.
I can't stop coming back here, to ponder where I went wrong, and what that means for both of us.
The worst part? How easily it could have been me... and why it wasn't.
Silver medal winner in the Discrepancy event on writeoff.me! Thanks writeoff gang for your feedback, as always!
Page generated in 0.105 seconds
Total duration
885 users online
1,749,125 hits today, 2,707,512 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I thought this was a weeping angel story I was wrong congratulations
10300613
Thanks!
10300731
Now I'm picturing that statue moving every time you blink or turn away and will undoubtedly have nightmares. Thanks for that.
10300937
You're welcome!
Great story! A simple yet poignant exploration of what could be a very real concern, one fraught with ambiguity and without a clear answer or resolution.
10300937
👍
No problem
Nicely written. I enjoyed it.
First-rate, as usual. Adding this to the Cozy Glow group, as it goes deep into the implications of her fate.
10300990
10300992
Thanks!
Interesting choice of characters but I like it. It worked really well. Short and simple and to the point. It was a really sweet story
10301032
Thank you. I wasn't expecting it to be perceived as a sweet story, but I won't argue with feedback!
'What could have been?' The ultimate tale of a closed door pretending it's open. The largest source of our ruminations, the longest conduit of our regrets.
And sometimes, like in this fic, we come to realize why our skeletons are in closets, our bodies underneath grounds. Because seeing our frailties - as beings, as fallible, as generally saddled with our sins - seeing them face us from up above brings them out from within.
In short, good fic, and I thank you for making it.
Two lines, Glimglam. First, when it came down to it, when you were given the chance... You took it. Cozy pretty much literally spat in the face of anyone suggesting that maybe she could kindly find her way to not being a raging megalomaniac.
And second, even when you weren't ready for a change, you were doing what you did out of misguided goodness, not raw need for power and self-aggrandizement.
Good story, but I can see the lines they're having a hard time spotting. Not the direction I'd expected the story to go, but a good look into it. Guilt's a bitch.
This was quite a sad story. Poor Cozy, she was never given a second chance. Well-written story!
I mean, she could always try reforming them. She has many powerful spellcasters on her side so she could do it whenever she wants. Really I'm not sure what she might be hoping for at this point.
Nice. :)
Thanks for writing!
That part with the lady and the whore? Pure genius. Have a like!
Greetings from the My Little Reviews and Feedback group, have a review!
It's been awhile since I've done one of these. After the author brought their story to my attention I decided I'd go ahead and read it in order to review it for them.
The central conflict of the story is Starlight's lingering regret in failing to anticipate Cozy Glow's villainy and guide her down a better part path. This takes place years after the show, so she's been holding onto this regret for some time. By the end of the short piece, nothing is resolved. Instead, this ends with Starlight once again walking away from the statue and going on with her life.
While it won't take up much of your time, this is honestly a waste of time to read. Like many short fics down near the minimum upload limit, this isn't a story. It is a scene in a story the author chose not to tell.
We get some hints of that story. Rarity shows up and talks with Starlight. It's obvious that this is familiar territory between them. Learning about the clinical condition Cozy Glow had is discussed as a past accomplishment. The two then fumble about the difference in knowledge they had back before learning that diagnosis.
Yet, in conflict with that larger and untold story, Rarity brings up some empty but well-meant cliches. She mentions Sunset Shimmer as a failure Celestia made. We're to believe these have never been brought up before over the years? They're new as of this conversation? The fact that Twilight, Celestia, and Luna trusted them is treated as new.
When you imagine this larger story, you begin to see the holes. Starlight has been headmare of the school for years. She's had Trixie as her counselor for years. They haven't managed a bigger mistake? Do you even know Trixie?
I get that the notion of Cozy's sentence doesn't sit well with us in the audience. But the story takes the stance that it's an outcome that's mostly fine. Some future date will see Twilight releasing her and having a chat. Maybe she already does this behind closed doors without Starlight or Rarity knowing. Given enough time, Twilight will fix this and give Cozy Glow a good life.
Rather than fully accept this and move on fully, Starlight clings to this sense of personal responsibility in the matter. Nothing else more directly her fault has risen up over the years. Sure, Cozy was bad but her situation is resolved reasonably well. Nothing else has come up that lacks this resolution? Nothing that more rightfully weighs on her conscience?
I find that hard to believe.
A worthwhile story would bring us to some kind of conclusion. Maybe now with a degree under her belt, Starlight wants to be involved in Cozy's therapy. Walking through that process with setbacks and progress would be an interesting read.
Maybe a disagreement between Twilight and Starlight on the feasibility of having that therapy begin now instead of after Starlight's lifespan.
Lots of things could form a solid backbone to this larger story. Instead, we're left with this. The much easier, shorter effort to hint at a story instead of telling it.
Overall, I wouldn't recommend this to anyone. It's fine as a practice piece to work on those writing muscles, but it does little to entertain and little to explore its own ideas. Explaining why it's weak takes more effort than it took to write the story. That's not a clever writing trick, it's a dishonest one.
10304771
10305772
Thanks for your reviews.
I have to agree that it's primarily a practice piece, really. That tends to be about the extent of what it's viable to do with a 1250-word writeoff entry. Sorry to have disappointed.
Rarity has aged well with her take on things. Even when she admits, I'm not sure where I was going with that. Nice to see she hasn't lost her melodrama.