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Immortal's Sin

After hundreds of years, Twilight Sparkle has perfected the technology to bring her last childhood friend out of stasis. She still doesn't know what she should say.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

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Stinium_Ruide

Stinium_Ruide #1 · Jul 22nd, 2020 · · ·

This is the cost of being immortal. Perhaps being mortal in life would give a greater meaning to being alive?

Interesting take on the situation; a read that triggers my reflective state of mind rather than my technical state.

Lotharin

Lotharin #2 · Jul 22nd, 2020 · · ·

The PoV changes several times throughout the story. You may want to fix that.

AlphaStrike

AlphaStrike #3 · Jul 22nd, 2020 · · ·

10346526
Oh, right, thanks for making me aware. I thought I caught all of those.

RebelNarrator45

RebelNarrator45 #4 · Jul 22nd, 2020 · 1 · ·

This was a very moving story. I could feel Rainbow's anguish and Twilight's misery very keenly. I was completely immersed in this tale from the first word to the last.

Well written. Good job.