Ber It All

Little_Draco

Little_Draco #1 · Aug 8th, 2020 · · ·

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Its difficult to read and there is a lot of grammar error. The story looks good but needs a bit of cleaning.

Fireflower

Fireflower #2 · Aug 8th, 2020 · · ·

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10373565

Explain it to me how, please...

Little_Draco

Little_Draco #3 · Aug 8th, 2020 · · ·

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10373616
There are a lot of lower cases in the beginning of sentences, there are words missing between a lot of sentences. In truth this has good potential but there are rushed in areas. A simple fix here and there and the story is great

Fireflower

Fireflower #4 · Aug 8th, 2020 · · ·

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10373627

Please provide me an example of what you have found...

Kitsune_Kenshi

Kitsune_Kenshi #5 · Oct 25th, 2020 · · ·

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10373565
His right, you need a grammar checker.

Fireflower

Fireflower #6 · Oct 25th, 2020 · · ·

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10498505

I just need an example of it; that's all...

AstralFlare42

AstralFlare42 #7 · Jan 23rd, 2021 · · ·

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“Contrary to what every single dragon has been led to believe about me, there was a reason I’d no need for friendship at first, let alone a time for weakness…” the dark blue dragon steadily spoke out to the lime equine, carefully regaining control of internal heartbeat at once, “despite being hatched from the strongest of dragons, I’d was an only hatchling and a weak one at that. Most dragons that were hatched usually take a long time to grow, starting out small for over an entire decade before they’d molted; in my case, I was no different from the rest, at least until it was my time, something that I’d been foolish to think wouldn’t happen: it was only at least before I was just even ten, a little too soon by average so to speak, especially in my dad’s eyes. I’d remembered the day when it’d came to pass – the stone scales spread, the uncontrollable fire burps, the shifting vocal pitches, the unbearably rotten stench, and the involuntary delocation; all of this had become a part of the nothingness compared to what it’d led up to, at least as far as I’d been concerned: the day a roc came for my scented body and whom had been lost in the process. Even though it was normal for us dragons to leave our nest as soon as our kind began molting, our parents still made sure we live; this was something that I’d learned far too well at a young age, a day in which I would live and relive in infamy ‘til I live no more: in order for a weakling such as myself to live long and prosper, my mother, may she rest in power, fought it off at once. From that day in due time, as my father became the Dragon Lord, I swore to myself never to let myself succumb to any of my weaknesses ever again for as long as I lived: that also meant spitting whatever sadness away and not relying on things like hiding behind my father’s influence or the notion of friendship, lest I would end up reliving that painful part of history. For so many years, it did work, especially for a dragon since they could fly, resist small bruises, and breathe fire for the most part; of course, there was only so much that I can only do and even I knew that it was only but a matter of time until he step down: although I’d been able to push past my limits here and there, even I was reluctant to admit that raw strength alone wasn’t enough. Nevertheless, I had only one simple goal and that was to succeed my father as the new Dragon Lord, something many related to; however, he remained rightfully aware of my past performances, fearing that the course he’d leave behind would be too much: Torch wouldn’t allow someone so weak to succeed him, even if one of them had made it to the bitter end. Despite his attempt to deter me from competing, my resolve was unwavering, pushing me into defying an order and joining them: as much I’d wanted nothing more than to reach the scepter no matter what, there were a few times my journey nearly concluded; of course, what happened next was nothing short of a foregone conclusion as you can plainly see, especially regarding Spike. With the help of his Equestrian friends, not only did he save me, he was the first to touch it, despite looking so young and weak: as much as I’d wanted to curse myself for being so foolhardy, I was nothing but grateful and inspired by his own achievement; after all, they’d reminded me of why I’d became the dragon today so to speak of, let alone why I’d lived since.”

This made me think of the land before time.

Fireflower