Fimfic Writer, Proofreader and Editor to those who request it, and a sucker for stories with parental themes.
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Celestia discovers that Luna has been using magic to attend to her hygiene rather than bathe like every normal pony does. As Luna’s caring older sister, she must have her sister conform to contemporary society, by force if need be.
Story inspired by Get Clean! by ocalhoun
Edited by EverfreePony. Proofread by axxuy, PoisonClaw, Sweetolebob18, and ScienceNova.
Art Cover commissioned by Doodle-Mark
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I have to say, editing this story was a fun and pleasant experience. It's not everyday that I get to work on a story that is almost simultaneously being looked over by so many pre-readers, so that was definitely a breath of fresh air. It's also not exactly common to have the author want to learn a bit, so, while I normally tend to explain why am I suggesting some edits, I could go into full lecture mode here. I admit it was a bit more time-consuming, but in the end, it was really rewarding to see the story blossom into a light-hearted comedy that provides more amusement that one could think, given its rather simplistic premise.
XD A really fun read!
First, I'm loving the fact Luna got in the last word/shot in this mess. One would think Celestia would know better by now.
Second,
This is a "Journey to the West" reference, isn't it?
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Momotaro, actually, though I'm not familiar with the original JttW.
I really liked this funny and at the same time sweet story.
I have a cousin who's afraid of baths and I know there's a word for people who are scared to bathe but I can't think of it. It's a good thing Prince BB ran into the bathroom with her duckie or she might of hurt both him and the duckie. All three of them playing with rubber duckies is an adorable picture.
Many smiles and laughs were had. And that ending... Oh mother alive that ENDING!
Comedy is hard
I approve of the payback.
And for crying out loud Celestia, just use one or two scented products. Using them all at once results in a stinky, nondescript mishmash. I stick to coconut shampoo.
well this was interesting XD
I wanna Get Clean!
I wanna Get Clean!
Something something paraphrasing "The Vines".
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She never scrubbed me, she never scrubbed me, she never scrubbed me-
Why should Celestia?
I feel sorry for Luna here mostly because her cleaning spell would probably become the new normal way to clean if released to the public because it saves time and Celestia rather than getting Luna to conform to the times seems to want to relive her childhood bathtimes.
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Ditto
As someone who also hates baths, I can feel Luna's pain.
I honestly don't get baths. Basically, whatever you wash off yourself, wherever you wash it, is still in the water with you. That's disgusting.
Showers only for me.
That ending... Celestia probably expected a predictable nightmare instead! Still, Luna should have made it last a month
That said, am I the only one who actually felt bad for Luna and wanted to punch Celestia when she forced Luna to the bathtub
? That part was pretty... disturbing for a while.
Celestia is kind of insane. “You do something differently from the norm in the day to day banalities of existence. This means war!”
I’d say the better revenge would have been right after the initial wash to remove the odor of the conditioners.
This was super sweet. If baths really make her uncomfortable then she should at least try showers since they are quicker. From her reaction to all the scents Celestia was suggesting Luna doesn't seem to be a big fan of fruit scents unless it's the real thing with the purpose of being consumed. She should take her shopping to look at the smells body washes she'd want rather then Celestia's preferences. That bath also didn't sound to relaxing either with how rough she was about it so whether it's the shower or bath tub she should let her slowly easy into it at her own pace.
Near the end there with her giving prince blueblood her duckie was super sweet and wholesome. She's slowly letting go of the past.
I can guarantee a lot of the palace guards think Luna smells nice, no matter what spells she uses to remove it. The lavender she hangs around the place helps.
Assuming that Luna's method actually works without any particularly nasty side effects, her method would probably become a hit with environmentalists.
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No, you're not, I felt Celestia went a little far on the matter too. I mean, I can see where she was coming from--I have high doubts Luna's spell was really getting her as truly "clean" as Luna seemed to believe, for a variety of reasons, but mostly because there are some things you can't just replace good ol' soap and water with--but at the same time, it wasn't her place to try and force not just bathing in general but her particular style of bathing upon Luna as well.
But at least Celestia recognized her error in the end and they mostly reconciled over it...and that Luna managed to get her revenge regardless in the end.
I'm sorry, but this is the best use of a reference I've ever seen.
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fudge
Celly, you better run
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Oh snap! I didn't think anyone would notice my Star Wars reference!
Pffffft BAHAHAHAAA
Well at least Luna got Captian Duckworth back.
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And using it on her Sithst- I mean Sister. Sheesh!
Cue Duel Of The Fates music.
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The sweet, sweet payback
Also agreed on the scent part. Heard once that if you mix enough of different perfumes, the result would smell like a pile of excrement...
Wh- Huh? (Restrained laughter)
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That.... is actually a very suitable theme for this battle of wills. Thanks for the neat idea!
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I sometimes use one or two differently scented products, but only when my hair is really dirty and I haven’t washed it in like two weeks. Otherwise, only coconut shampoo and conditioner.
I think the only thing preventing the mish-mash of scents on Luna is that the conditioners were on different sections of her body and not put on top of one another. (Ex: peach on her chest, but nothing else there after it was rinsed off.) If not, then magic because this is Equestria and these are two alicorn princesses, who knows what little bit of magic is in the self care products??
Also, Luna, don’t think I didn’t notice the sneaky spell-casting when you were eating your porridge.
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No matter how you try, you will have a scent!! MWUAHAHA!!!
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Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.
(I know this only from seeing it somewhere else—)
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Actually, the music connected to that scene that I believe you are looking for is called "Battle of the Heroes"
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Yeah, I know. But Duel Of The Fates honestly feels better in this context. Both are still amazing, and the reference was beautifully written.
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Such a shame we'll never get a 7th movie.
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Agreed, can't argue with that.
We really do be living in a society.
Also was not expecting the prolonged Revenge of the Sith reference but I'm for it.
"Luna, my allegiance is to the bathtub, to cleanliness!"
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Yes. Of course. It is quite a shame that there will only ever be 6 episodes.
This is FAR better than I expected!
This was a REALLY good ending....but now I'm torn.
Do I leave this wonderful ending as is, or do I beg for more? DECISIONS ARE HARD!! @.@
Still, this was certainly BETTER than I would have expected and I really enjoyed it! <3
really strong end. really happy to see the overstepping of boundaries talked about. and while the aim was good and the ends was good the means prompted a punishment. honestly i could argue harsher punishment could be justified, but the punishment was satisfying to the highest degree.
(and for some reason my speech tends towards the archaic after reading similar)
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Believe it or not, I actually do have a sequel in mind. This story had been so fun to make that I might just make a short-story collection of royal sisters shenanigans.
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I think Ablutophobia is the word you're looking for.
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So true. This story was my first attempt at comedy writing and I was anxious I would get torn to shred by the comments. I've gone so far as to read lecture pages by Space Jazz on SNFW on how to do comedy writing just to get this right.
Lecture 1
Lecture 2
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Yessssssss! <3
Nice read. Really enjoyed it.
Great story. I felt sorry for Luna when she was forced to be bathed by her sister. But it's nice to see that she got her revenge in the end. That cleaning spell sounds pretty interesting if you ask me.