TheRedArmy
Joined 26th Aug, 2012 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Excellent!
One minor concern -
Not incorrect, but italics for thoughts just looks more... fabulous compared to single quote marks.
Hmm very nice. Following.
1209822 I'll take that to mean you liked it.
Thanks for the endorsement.
1209908 Noted. I do like to use italics to emphasize words during conversation, though, so it does help from stopping anyone from getting confused. But I agree. Italics are very fabulous!
Let us sit back and wait for feature box.dl.dropbox.com/u/93510029/spike.png
Looks promising :D you have my favorite
1211350
LOL XD
Fluttershy isn't a virgin.. *giggle*
Nonono I didn't mean to laugh at you, 'Shy, I'm sorry..
~Rosalynn~
Cue the rim shot and slide whistle. I bet I know who Flutters was with.
Need a proofreader? I'll be glad to help
whenif I find time.1212247 No, I do have a proof-reader, I just forgot the name of the forest.
I guess he missed it too. I took a stab at it and got it wrong. Honestly, I could have taken 10 seconds to look it up. Just lazy on my part. I'll do better on my research from now on. Thank you for your offer, though! Should I need services in the future, I'll look you up.
Also, everyone look for chapter 3 to be up by Friday at the latest.
This is great so far!
Can't wait for more chapters!
Why is it always the shy ones!!!!!!!!
I'm definitely interested, and curious about what's coming, but I have to point out that in the last paragraph from the book, the company's editor let a change in the speaking pony slip through without a paragraph break.
1221245 How right you are! I remembered to go through (at my reviewer's urging) and fix all the instances of that, except within the story itself. Very nice pointing that out (and my thanks as well). I'm glad you find the story interesting.
Like the story so far cant wait to read the rest <3!
NIce chapter but you made a very funny error.
She hopped off the beach as Twilight finished putting away the pieces and they began to walk toward Twilight’s house.
I hope you can see what is wrong here
Ooh, wonder who the mystery pony is....if it's anypony we know of course,
1224313 Yes, of course. The funny thing is, both my reviewer and my girlfriend told me of this error and I STILL forgot to fix it. If you can all look past my occasional grammar error, I would appreciate it.
Also, thanks to all of you for your overwhelming support. I wasn't sure what to expect when I posted this story (even after my reviewer - who will get proper credit after the story is finished - said it was good), so I've been apprehensive. And waiting for the negative comments. But they haven't come, except in the form of 2 thumbs down. Considering the 40 thumbs up at the time of this comment, I think I can say that I did all right.
Thanks for all of your support, and please visit my user page to read my future story ideas, pitch ideas you would like me to write about, and debate me on the virtues of free market.
Yours in Honor,
TheRedArmy
'Ponyta', nice Pokemon reference.
1229439
Huh, never thought of that. lol
Great chapter overall, keep it up
1229714 DAT AVATAR. Wait, I recognize this artwork. Let me check my fap folder.
(quick lookup)
"Kaichou-onegaishimasu!" by HETCH, Chapter 2, page 29.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Scootaloo_lolface.png
I feel like that somepony screwing with flutters is rarity. If it is, yay!!! Rarishy! If not, it's cool still like twirity though.
1230881 Actually I am a prereader and I can tell you Fluttershy is actually meetin.. Wait..
RedArmy why are you there
NO
NO
NO
Ý̧̠̙̫̫͍̓̊͡o̘͔̖̭̔͒ͩű̙̳͕̩͔͈̿ͥ̂ͭ̃́̑̓͡ ̢̳̜̜̈̿ͫ̿P̷͚̟͎̠̣̫̗͌̓̕͘ͅr͓̙̂̾͂̂o̼͚̱̣̬̙͔ͤͬ͋̉͐͟͟M̠̱̠͕͔̬͙̭̀̿ͭ͞i͍͈͉̠͚͇̐ͭ̎͋̆͊̓̆̓S̙̩̮̤͔̳ͬ͆̐̎ͨ͒̇̆͜͞Ȅ̟̠̱͈͓̿͗ͧ̋̏d̦̲̻́̄͡͝ ̬̥̫̗͔ͩ̽ͯ̅̌ͮ̾̔͜t̻ͮ̌̂̿̄̅ͤ̊͊Ő̴̺̠̟̥̞̟͎̔̋̍ͯ͊͐͐ ̨̮̻̣̲͈͆ͣ̈́n̲͍̊̊́͜͞O̵̢̯̰̽̒ͭ͆t̷͙͓͈̥̠ͦ̄͝͡ ̫̥̾̑̒͛ͬ̑͞T̛̰̭̄͘ê̶̢̬͍̖̽͊͛ͧ̋̈̍́l̸̝̲̅ͭ̓̾̂̒̈ͮ̕L̡̳̹͚͓̳̃ͣ̈̚ ̵̧̟͕͖͗ͦ͒̏̓́̚͜À̧̢̯̲͇̼͈̮͈̾̽͐n͈̼͇̥̠̼̖ͦ̈̚̕ỹ̹̜̫̜̬̖͉͙̽ͥ̐ͪO͗̎̉͛̋̔͛҉̭͙̭̲͎́͟Ñ̵̻͖̰̫̬̪̳̆ͮ̐e̢̫̱̹͉͙̟̟̊ͯ́̄̄ͫ̚
1231269 redarmy??? I'm 14squarefeet, nice to meet you
1231269
speaking of which,
1232964
What?
1233814
dl.dropbox.com/u/93510029/spike.png
MOAR
Gasp!
Excellent, actual conflict. I'm definitely enjoying this one so far. Noticed a few typos as I was reading it.
"She placed it in a bright blue contained,..."
That should be "container."
"...and returning to her living room to begin reading it again."
And that should say "returned."
"Could I go and see her,..."
That sentence should end with a question mark, not a comma.
Cheers!
OH SNAP!
1230192 Oh good, now I don't feel so bad that I recognised it as well.
.....ok, who am I kidding, I didn't even come close to feeling bad
. That was one of my favorites 
.
1257934 you stole my line.
Apple Blossom? I think you meant Apple Bloom.
Still, didn't see that coming.
Holy Crap!! Great cliffhanger
i50.tinypic.com/10ynp7a.jpg
You can do it Twilight!
1257900 Thanks for pointing that out! Continuing sentences after a quote is a complete sentence kinda trips me up. I wasn't sure how to handle them. Been a while since I've had an English class.
1258486 Yeah, I did. Thinking about the cherry blossoms before might have mixed me up on her name. Thanks for the input.
1259155 You know, Apple Seed was Faust's original name for her, but had to change it to Apple Bloom for copyright reasons or some-such. Perplexes my why it WASN'T Apple Blossom because apple trees have blossoms, not blooms.
1259155
Indeed, most of the errors that I come across have to do with the punctuation around quotation marks. Not to self-promote, but I did make a blog post that contains all of the rules for punctuating dialogue: The Egghead's Guide to Punctuation. You might find it of use.
Saw that coming(heh), but that didn't make it any less dramatic.
1259468 Interesting. I didn't know that. Maybe they wanted to keep it simple because it's a "kid's show"? But it's not like DJ-3-PON rolls off the tounge...
1260806 I see! I'll take a look at it. Thanks for the link.
DUN DUN DUN!
And then Twilight was like:
Can I join too?
Seriously, this is going to be such a Cliff hanger
Oh right, I did want to ask my readers a few questions - if you wouldn't mind taking the time to answer...
First, thanks to all of your for your overwhelming support. I meant what I said in comment 19. You guys have really given me a self-esteem boost about my writing ability. Thanks to all of you.
Second, I do intend to write in more detail about my thought process while writing, why I took things the direction I did, and why I wanted to tell this story, as opposed to another. Those will be included after the final chapter as an author's note.
And that brings me to what I wanted to ask. How was your feeling on my note at the beginning of chapter 4? On the one hand, I wanted to explain the delay, which I feel fine with doing, but I also included a bit of personal information - namely how much I had been working (unnecessary information) and my fantasy football team. On the one hand, having a place to vent my occasional fear or worry is nice (not to mention the inevitable advice coming from people who read it - it's always nice to have an outsider's opinion). But on the other hand, I don't want anyone to think I'm somehow using my work as a proxy to talk about what I really posted about - my own BS. I think as long as notes are short and sweet, there should be no worry (apart from my final note when this story completes. That one should be fairly long, because I want to make sure I'm clear about what I mean).
But I'd like another opinion on this. What do you guys think?
1262903 Well I personally think you should embed A/N at the end of a chapter or as a first comment on the chapter.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Rainbow_Dash.png
Also, you can always post blog and send it to those who favourited the storydl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Sweetie_Belle_lolface.png
1268733 The number of favorites is kinda high at this point in time Zel.
But I agree - I wouldn't dare to interrupt the story with my own ramblings (which are far less important than the content I'm writing about). All the same, I think a paragraph or two here or there is no issue.
If I had to guess on a time for chapter 5, I would guess early Saturday morning, GMT -6 (US Central).
1269962 We need a bbcode time converter that will change date in accordance to each member's settings.
Oh wait, I do not know what DAY it is todaydl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Scootaloo_lolface.png
I do not mean separately, that is mundane and creepy. When posting a blog post, you can choose if you want to automatically send notifications to every user that faved the story
Rarishy? Twirity? Take all my internet. Possibly raritwishy? Fingerscrossed so it'll happen!!!
Sorry for another delay, but another 62 hour workweek kicked my ass again. I'll put in a significant effort to get it done over the weekend.
This is just a temporary thing - hurricane Isaac three weeks ago threw my company (a food distribution company) into a loop (I live in south Louisiana, in the USA). I should be returning to a normal work schedule next week, so hopefully I can recharge the batteries and get some rest.
Oh my
Should we be expecting chapter 5 soon?
1316310 Yes. Really sorry, but an explanation will be forthcoming along with chapter 5. Expect it by early Tuesday morning (GMT -6, US central) at the latest.