From Hero to Child

by SoralTheSol

[Rewrite] A Fallen Hero

Due to overwhelming complaints, some just trolls but others actually hitting a nerve I have decided to rewrite the first two chapters of “From Hero to Child.”

Once again I do not own MLP or Legend of Zelda.

Chapter 1: A Hero’s Fall.

Tired. A bone deep exhaustion the permeated every inch of his body. A blond child slumped forward with his arms wrapped around the neck of his horse. He could no longer hold himself up and relied on the filly for support. His cloths, while vibrant green at one point, were now tattered and dulled. There were spots of red nears many of the tears. Red was spreading around the edges of cut on his shoulders.

His breathing was steady, not forced but a rhythm was kept. Black clawed at the edges of his vision as he struggled to keep himself awake. He was not able to guide his mount, but that didn’t matter. Epona was a smart girl, she would get him to a town. He just needed to stay awake. Yes, awake…

“Link.”

A voice. Where? He had never heard this voice before. It sounded close, but he could not find anyone near him. Only him and Epona. He was so tired. Why was he still awake again? Slowly his eyes drifted closed.

“Link wake up!” The voice cried urgently.

“…nng, who’s there?” Link questioned. He was to weak to demand anything at the moment.

“Don’t worry Link. I will get you to help soon.” The voice reassured.

Link was able to tell who it was now. There was no way to mistake it. The voice was right in his ear, the ear resting against Epona. “Epona?”

“Just stay awake a bit longer Link.” Epona said. Trying her best to keep the young boy talking.

“I knew… you were a smart horse… I didn’t… Know you could talk.” Link spoke in labored breaths. It was getting harder to keep air in as time went on.

“I’m full of surprises. Just like a certain friend of mine.” She said while determinedly marching forward. She could see a castle at the edge of the forest. She just needed to keep Link talking until they reached it. Then he would be okay.

“Friend?” Link questioned, “I am not… much of a… friend…” Link finished. A dark chuckle escaped his throat at the thought. “I have… Left you in scary places… and always bring you into danger…”

“But I’m still here.” Epona said firmly. She marched forward. She was unwilling to increase her pace for fear of Link tumbling off. “I am still here, and I am still your friend. Now just stay awake, we are almost there.”

Silence followed after the request. She felt as Links arms tightened around her neck. “I’ll try… but I can’t for long… sorry.”

Epona’s eyes widened slightly before setting in a determined glare at the forest ahead of her. The trees were tall and thick, the ground uneven, fallen logs and slick rock were everywhere. There was no clear path in sight and these were all obstacles that could take her out with just one miss step.

“Then hold on.” She said with a note of finality. With that Epona galloped forward, cutting through the forest as water does a canyon. There was no more time for words. Link couldn’t afford it. She could hear his now harsh breaths come and go as he clung to her. Epona was focused on the ground ahead, keeping track of the hazards that formed with each new rise. She would not fail her friend.

---

Princess Celestia was standing at the edge of Ever Free Forest. Normally at this time she was dealing with commoners, listening to the complaints and problems that had cropped up in Equestria. Instead she had forgone these duties for the sake of being here. She had a feeling that something important was going to happen, but was unclear as to what. All she knew was that she needed to be here.

She was unable to sneak off unnoticed however. Her two personal guards, Cloud Striker and Cyclone, had managed to catch up to here. She shook her head at the thought. “Of course they could catch up to me. That was one of the reasons I chose them as my personal guards.” She thought ruefully. They didn’t question her on her actions. They merely stayed close to her at all times, ready to fight off any possible attacks.

She turned back to the forest with slightly narrowed eyes. The feeling was strongest at this point, a tugging that did not leave until she arrived here. Princess Celestia didn’t understand what the cause of the feeling could be but… she heard hoof beats. There… obscured by the shadows of the forest was a figure. It looked like a pony, but it was closer to her in size.

“Get out of My WAY!” The figure roared. She charged out of the forest at a full gallop headed straight for them.

Celestia motioned for her guard to stand down as she moved to allow the large mare through. The large pony galloped past headed in a straight line for Canterlot. Celestia wondered what would have her so panicked when she noticed the strange creature on the mare’s back. This bore looking into. Soon the white coated princess was in the air flying to follow the strange pony.

---

“Hang on Link. We’re out of the forest now we just need to get to the castle!” Epona shouted back to her charge. She hoped that there would be healers that could help him. She felt moisture growing on her back, it was warm. “I doubt Link suddenly developed bladder problems. Just how many Injuries does he have this time?” She thought to herself.

“You seem to be in a hurry, care to explain why?” A new voice questioned coolly.

Looking back carefully, Epona saw something that almost caused her to trip. “A flying horse?!” She thought surprised before focusing on the road ahead of her. The brilliant white mare flew slightly ahead of Epona before looking back at her.

“Truly you are odd. I have never had anypony ignore me so readily.” The white mare told Epona.

Epona grunted. The she spoke in an annoyed tone at the new comer, “Then they obviously weren’t very busy. But in case you haven’t noticed my friend is about to Die!” The last bit came as a shout at the strange glowing horse.

The white horse raised a brow at the statement. “Indeed. Then allow us to clear the way.” She said in a calm voice. They were fast approaching the gates to the castle town. The white mare looked behind her before barking out orders. “Cloud Striker! Go get the gate open. Cyclone! Go to the castle and gather the healers to the front. Tell them to prepare for a patient who is bleeding heavily.”

Two more flying horses flew past Epona. They looked odd but she didn’t have time to focus on that. The large white mare flew ahead of her before calling over her shoulder, “Follow Me!”

Epona didn’t need to be told twice. She fell in line behind the mare, not lessening her speed as they approached the walls of the city. Soon they were charging through the streets, the residents of the town leaping out of the roads as they closed in. Epona noticed that this town was different from any other she had been in. Horses… No, to small. Ponies were everywhere. But there was not any sign of the two legged species she had grown so used to.

They soon reached the road leading into the Palace proper. The gates were open for them, and Epona could make out a few ponies standing out front waiting for them. “Must be the healers. I hope they can help Link.” She soon slowed to a canter before coming to a full stop in front of the other ponies. Link was lifted from her back with some form of magic.

Now came the part she hated most. The feeling of helplessness that filled her heart when all she could do was watch. She watched as the Healers began mending the tattered form in front of them. It was not the first time she had seen Link so bad off. No, during their years together she had even seen him worse than this. But there was no Great Fairy to beg for help. There was no all knowing sage to turn to. She could only hope that he would pull through.

---

Epona looked down at the little form of Link. Even in the time that had past he had not grown much. Barely a head taller then when they first met. It seemed that he would be the size of a foal forever. He laid sleeping soundly, covers drawn up to his neck. Link’s blonde locks curled down over his eyes. She muzzled them away befor watching him rest in the bed again. It surprised Epona that they would have beds considering that this land was ruled by horses.

“He is going to pull through.” A voice announced. The voice belonged to the white mare. The white mare, who was the ruler of this land.

“I know.” Epona said softly. “He always pulls through. When he pulls through he then goes out and get hurt again. Then I have to rush him to the nearest town in hopes of healing him again.”

The white mare stood silently by, listening.

“He was a hero. He was someone who would go out and fight off monsters and evil mages. He would stop bandits, save towns, save people… But he would never save himself.” Her voice cracked, “He would ignore the wounds, ignore the pain, and he would fight. He would fight and fight and fight. He does this because he is no longer a hero. He stopped doing it because it is right. He thinks it is why he exists.” She turned to look at the white mare. The white mare that reminded her of some of the Great Fairies. “Did you know he had to save our home when he was just a foal? He could barely know how to walk and he had to stop a monster that was a god!”

Epona took a moment to compose herself. She didn’t need to be shouting. “He still has nightmares from the fights he went through at the time. I wanted to do more for him but I was little more than a beast at the time.”

“What do you mean?” The Mare questioned her.

“I mean before coming to wherever this land is, I couldn’t speak. Horses are not capable of speech but here I am talking away. Finally able to voice all my worries and concerns but what does that matter.” Epona griped. Angry at the powers that she would likely lose when they left. Angry that she couldn’t have this power back when Link was trapped in the throes of a nightmare. It does not let her comfort him on those nights he cried himself to sleep at the loss of friends.

“I see.” The white mare said. After a pause she spoke again, “Well it seems that you could use as much rest as your friend.” She told Epona. “Allow me to welcome you to Equestria, belated though it may be. I am Celestia, feel free to stay as long as you need. I may not know of what you two have been through, but I can see that it weighs heavily on you both.” The wh—no Celestia said. “If you need anything just call on the guard for the room.” With that Celestia turned and left the room.

This is where I am going to wrap up the New chapter one. The biggest thing that started bugging me after first writing it was of course Epona’s size. She was young when Link first met her, probably only a year or two old, and she would be equal to most of the ponies in size. Guess that is why they are all called ponies. But now Link is around thirteen or fourteen, Epona is five or six. At this age she would be a good deal larger than a pony. I am certain she would be considered full grown at this point.

The next is that Things went just a bit to fast in the original chapter one so this feels a bit more complete to me. I cut off at the end instead of continuing because I still want the chapters somewhat short. That and I am getting a head ache. Give me your opinions now, I hope that you find it Improved.

Comments

[Pino Graham]

Change the chapter order to the correct one

[Thorlol]

Still a few mistakes in there, weeded out some of them but some have manifested themselves.

Die

Random capitalization. Also like I said in my review you had two spaces in between sentences, makes it look less professional.

[Silver Temper]

1205498
I say!
I'll have you know that 4Chan is not just full of 'trollers.'
We also count neckbeards, virgins, racists, homophobes, attention whores, 'edgy' twelve year olds, pedos, people with no self esteem, perverts and people with unwarranted self-importance among our ranks. We're not so one-dimensional, and I'll thank not to imply such again.
bbsimg.ngfiles.com/1/19498000/ngbbs4a4ef8a67e150.jpg

[Silver Temper]

1207987
Wait, when did that stop being the standard?

Edit: The part about having two spaces between sentences, I mean.

[Thorlol]

1209778 Alright, so you have the scum of the Internet on your site.

1209787
I do believe that the second we stopped using typewriters the two spaces after the sentence became unnecessary. Please click on a story in the featured box and tell me if it has two spaces after every last sentence. Same with any other book published within the last 10 years.

[Silver Temper]

1209848
>I do believe that the second we stopped using typewriters the two spaces after the sentence became unnecessary.
Odd, because my English teachers spent a good five years drilling that particular point into our heads, long after typewriters fell into disuse. Odder still is that my computer teacher told us the same thing.
But then, this was in an American school district.

>Alright, so you have the scum of the Internet on your site.
Sweet-talker. You really know just what to say!
images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120122044921/mlp/images/archive/0/0d/20120124221321!Applejack_blushing_S2E14.png
And here, I never even mentioned all the traps.

[Thorlol]

1209897

Don't know, I just learnt it with one space. Guess I just don't remember it being any other way.

[Silver Temper]

1209934
Same from my end. It would take a conscious effort after every period to not use two. Besides, I did a quick search, and it seems arguments for single over double spacing tend to devolve into bickering over aesthetics, which is entirely subjective. As such, calling one wrong seems rather self-absorbed.

[Thorlol]

1209951
Well, guess I learn something new every day.

[SoralTheSol]

Sorry but I was taught that it is two spaces at the start of a sentence. I have been doing it as such for the better part of ten years, I am not stopping now.

[Thorlol]

1211105
KK.

[Liger0panzer]

A shame this story got trolled so badly, it's actually pretty good! Unfortunately some might not look past the red

I hope it gets picked up again some day.

[dragonheck]

Well i'm glad to see this story is recovering it is now more green than red plus trollers are d-bags that try and kill talent and my friend u got this in this story and I enjoy the way you space your sentences it is nice and spacy and not to cluttered and that helps to distract most from its short length though I wish the author that took over for naruto rymes would update cause I like that story and yours though the ending bites well just keep on trucking through the mud and who knows one day you might get this on the featured page

[SoralTheSol]

Damnit you people are going to make me pick this up again.

[Thewildwolflink]

Can you continue please???

[Silent Wing]

I smell potential, lots of potential. Plese pick this story up again and continue it.