On a dreary day, Twilight and Spike stay home and talk about life.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 11th Apr, 2017
- offline last seen 4 hours ago
MellowSoul
"Damnation is only a daydream away, but still, we carry on..." -Morbid Angel
MellowSoul
Joined 11th Apr, 2017 ·
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Dude! So good. Seriously...
I actually am currently writing a longer fic. That holds similar vibes too this. I dont want too spoil anything. But I think its pretty cool!
On a side. I dig your writing. Like seriously. I read it. I can tell. You worked on it. You know how too write. But!
Im unsure...if you want feedback? You know?
So...I will just ask? Its rather minor and really...its just a small thing...? Lol.
Ps. I ounce again have too say that I appreciate. That you really. You Create relationships...that you give weight too...and those last few lines...by Twilight...
10747915
Feedback's welcome. I really only turn off ratings because they give me my own share of anxiety. Lol.
Why are ratings off?
I wish more people realized the trueness of this statement...
10747920
Ok...though I wanted too do a more throughal? Throughal? (Whats that word that means too encompass something?) showing off what I mean. Ill just tell you instead?
Having read two of your stories so far. The only deal is...diliague?...dialgoue?
What would draw me in more...is...pauses.
A breath...letting the silence...linger.
You have reams of dialogue...that makes me wonder..
.where are the breaths?
The glances off into the distance. A character drinking tea...
Because when you look and read your dialogue...its beat after beat...but where is the rest?
Allowing the reader
...and the characters too take in the evironment.
The piercing rain in the distance...filters through...and settles into their heart...into their bones...before words fall ounce again...like rain...?
It allows the setting and scents too linger on our flesh...and makes your powerful words and...excellent writing! That more powerful. So...their probably is a another small thing that I am forgetting...
But I am in poor health at...the moment.
Thanks for letting me give you some feedback!
Cheers! Keep being great!
Ps. Feel you on the anxiety...like people read your stuff. And then...?
10748146
Didn't know how people would respond.
10748259
Yeah.
10748307
Thanks. I'll take that into consideration. Some people like longer descriptions, others just want to get on with the story. I think you're right in this case though. There is supposed to be atmosphere for stories like this. I mostly just wanted to give people something to think about.
10748368
I feel ya. You do you. As The Gaimon says. If you have a vision that you believe in...
Buck em! Lol. :)
10748493
By the way, I don't know if you're into metal or not, but the story was named after a record by The Acacia Strain. It was their first full album back in 2002. Feel free to look it up if you're interested.
10748496
Maybe? I recently started listening too scarlord and...
The periphery...which are superfun. I just imagine all my epic moments. With that music.
I will check it out. Right...now...ok...now...right...lol
Ok old joke...lol.
10748528
Periphery is pretty cool from what I've heard of them.
10748547
Scarlord is like my version of Twilights coping mechanism...
I also listened too the album...yes. I apparently dont like metal...what other music do you like?
10748584
My friends share stuff like electronica and prog rock sometimes. Metal makes up about 99% of my playlist. Lol.
10748596
lol. That is funny. Good on you! So do you guys do music? Do you play a instrument?
The other one percent?...its country isn't it?
I like country too sometimes...lol.
10748631
I play several, actually, but I haven't practiced in a while.
Its one thing I've always liked and not liked about endings. No matter the turn out, either it being sad, tragic or a joyful happy ending. They always get to me. I know its the end, sometimes I wish it could keep going but alas everything comes to an end, and the best thing you can do Is make the best of it while you have it. I can't upvote but Anyway here's a thumps up for giving me the feels and those bloody ninja's sneaking in the those Onions. 👍
10749267
I hear ya. Thanks for the comment.