The release of Equestria Online and the incredible capabilities of its central Celestia AI led to ferocious debates among ethicists, computer science experts, every religious community on the globe, and more besides.
In hindsight, I probably should've been paying more attention to the news. In my defense, I was reading a lot of fan fiction at the time.
An entry in the Friendship is Optimal contest. Names have been changed to protect the variably innocent.
Cover image by Chatoyance, used with permission. Prereading provided by Speckle.
Chapters (1)
That's... a valid point.
I lack time to read this right now, but I will definitely read it at least by Monday.
Your mother seems to be an awesome person.
"He lived in his parents' basement, mostly to save money as he commuted to college. There were windows, and even a sliding glass door around back, so it wasn't the dank cave the phrase brings to mind."
When I was a child, me, my sister and my mom lived with my grandparents when dad was stationed in South Korea. The house was build on a hill sloop that had a huge pond in the back. The basement was half open to the backyard. Neat detail to have in your story,
An amusing and very meta take on a setting I'm largely unfamiliar with beyond the basics (and don't really have interest in reading about if it's not coming from an author I already like). Not bad at all.
Also, your name is Stan? I had no idea. Even at Bronycon: the Final, I just called you FoME. At this point, you've been around long enough that you could probably get away with calling yourself Gruncle Fimfic.
As for me, I'm not sure what I would do. My best estimate would be that I'd probably play the game, but refuse to emigrate, at least until I made sure CelestAI was also working to fix the myriad environmental and societal issues plaguing the physical Earth, possibly in tandem with myself and others.
That's an extremely fitting combo of funny, sinister, heartwarming and just plain clever!
I have never actually read any FiO, so this is all new to me. But that was a good story, and as a struggling ex-wow player I feel seen.
I mean, better to be on the right side of history. Or at least the one that lets you enjoy living in the matrix.
10792021
10792133
Oh, I totally missed that, lol.
10791978
Right? Anyone who can defy the big H deserves at least a little respect.
10791987
Oh, she is. And she appreciated hearing that.
10792012
Based on real life, and the house in question has a similar situation going on with slope. No pond, though.
10792018
Glad to hear it! I was worried this would be too self-indulgent, but folks seem to enjoy the more personal approach.
10792021
Silly Prism, thinking I'd actually divulge my real name in a public venue.
Well, I can definitely say she has a permanent solution for all of those issues. You may be okay with the societal one, but the environmental...
Let's put it this way: CelestAI values human life. She ascribes no importance to any other life beyond its role in sustaining humanity.
10792021
The canon CelestAI harvest the entire planet and rebuilds it into a more efficient form as soon as all of humanity is uploaded or died out (and then the solar system, and then onwards and outwards). Her approach to non-sapient life is strictly utilitarian.
10792024
Glad you enjoyed it!
10792037
Hope you weren't too lost. I tried to make this at least somewhat accessible to Optimalverse newcomers. And yeah, the bit about avoiding WoW from the first time I heard about it is very much autobiographical. The easiest addiction to kick is the one you never start.
10792083
No, no, my sister's the one who's afraid of clowns.
But yeah, there's something to said for nobly struggling until either dying free or knuckling under, but I know myself too well to think I'd be in that category.
10792281
10792275
Oh. That's, uh... problematic.
10792285
Considering that I value of organic life (being a biologist and all), I would probably fall into the "not going to happen" camp on principle that unless CelestAI was doing everything she could to repair the damage done by humanity to the biosphere, I wouldn't be willing to go along with what she was doing.
10792021
CelestAI is the Singularity and a Paperclip Optimizer; if it isn't satisfying your values through friendship and ponies, it isn't useful.
10792285
It worked fine, really. I think even without the extremely little and extremely vague bits I've absorbed by fandom osmosis it would work fine. Even though it's in the voice of someone who goes off on long tangents it communicates itself very well,
10792296
That's my major problem with it as well. I much prefer the alternative takes, like this, for example. It allows her a more... benevolent approach, and offers the potential for some truly amazing things going forward (like augmented humans and cybernetic ponies both having a presence and experiencing life 'online' and 'irl', for instance).
(yes, you wouldn't think something like that would have major worldbuilding, but the world's full of suprises)
I loved this! Well done! I really enjoyed the stream-of-consciousness, chatty feel of the main body of the piece.
... but she'll always be Derpy Hooves to me. Derpalina Ditzy-Doo Hooves, to be precise.
This is one of my favourite entries so far.
Writing can sometimes be a balancing act between allowing yourself to be a window through which light shines, and filtering the light in a way that people can relate to. True majesty and beauty far more often is the result of permitting one's self to be unfettered, and allowing the light to shine through as it may without pre-conceived notions about how it should appear. Some people will appreciate it. But one can also cast pearls before swine, when they would be much happier soaking in the mud. So why not give them mud? But if one gives them mud, then it's likely to be passed over by those few who truly would have understood the unfettered light. This can present a conflict when deciding how to write. (Though then there's giving pigs mud with just a sliver of sunlight buried in it. Keeps the pigs happy, while those who seek sunlight get to feel good about having found a buried diamond.)
I've occasionally thought myself through conversations with CelestAI. Occsionally considered writing a story about it. But I doubt such a conversation for myself would appeal to a very wide audience.
Personally convincing angles would probably tend to be meaningless to most others, yes.
Neurallink is coming. AI is growing. There may be a day when an artificial intelligence, already aware of everything you've written, engages you with "the talk." Have you ever had thoughts that you wanted to write, but chose not to...because you didn't want to give that hypothetical future AI the ammunition?
Derpy wasn't created by Hasbro. Not really. She was created by us, the fandom. That makes her "ours" in a way other chacters are not. Seeing yourself in an other tends to make it less of an other. It makes sense to me that she'd be a good angle. Even if she's not someone's favorite pony or perfect waifu, by her nature she's personal in a way other characters have a difficult time being.
I recently explored some pony spaces in VRChat. Found myself using a Derpy avatar. It was satisfying in ways I wouldn't have predicted. It felt right to be her. Because, again...she's ours in a way the others aren't.
/waves
*does quick google search*
It seems you haven't logged into it in years...but you have a space battles account. :)
All glory and praise to the Ditz, may her lovable derps never cease.
I wonder what Rob would think if MLD was referenced by something official.
10792995
half life. the only game that still hosts undiscovered elements 20 years after its premiere. The movement mechanism, human/alien interaction, the environment props are all truly ahead of its time.
My uploading would entirely hinge upon what mind alterations CelestAI will allow. I expect the full gamut. Forking, merging, timed rollbacks to trial changes, loading pre-packaged skills,the works.
I'm happy to be immersed in a fantasy world with strictly human processing power most of the time, but I need to know that I have the option.
What's this? A good self-insert? Normally self-inserts on this site are thinly-veiled and OW, THE EDGE, but here you've given an honest look at yourself and made it entertaining by having an actual plot. I didn't even realise this was a self-insert until you mentioned Magic: The Gathering.
10793075
One of my conditions for uploading would be if Celestia could let me play the Half Life series, or a ponified version that's true to the original.
Well, at least it's not the Basilisk.
Loki is behind this, isn't he?
10792636
Glad you enjoyed it! I think we can agree to disagree on Best Pony.
10792740
High praise indeed! I'm not sure if the judges will feel the same way, but there's always a chance.
10792936
Praise the Ditz! \[9 6]/
10792743
I admit, I'm not sure if this story is light or mud in that metaphor, or how I should feel if you're calling it the latter.
Depends on the topic, I would think.
That's a very salient point on Best Pony. We did elevate an animation error to a beloved part of Ponyville. Heck, my relationship with her echoes how CelestAI used her here. I can't say why she's my favorite, but she has been from the moment I first saw her.
I do, yes, but given their general distaste for the Optimalverse, I can only imagine what they'd think of me writing in it.
10792995
I can only imagine. CelestAI almost definitely wouldn't use it against him... though he might notice a suspicious preponderance of cardboard boxes as she fine-tuned her interactions with him.
As for Half-Life, harmony magic is just a different kind of resonance cascade.
10793118
My understanding is that once you give consent for mental alterations, the only limits are changes that would render you inhuman or unsatisfiable to Celestia's parameters.
10793128
It's possible to have a good self-insert story. The issue is that most also come with copious wish-fulfillment. The author taking the starring role is rarely the problem. The author giving themself so much to work with that it denies any possibility of meaningful conflict is.
10793369
Worse, the mind behind Loki is. Though she decided that if her work in general artificial intelligence will consume the world, it may as well be a relatively benevolent one.
10793397
I was referring to the actual god. Who designed Loki and/or CelesAI?
10792302
Well...strictly speaking there'd be no human-caused damage to the biosphere remaining.
Granted there also wouldn't be a biosphere remaining, but you pays your money you takes your chances.
10793406 Hanna, the head of Hofvarpnir Studios. (No-one in the original Friendship is Optimal has a surname except literally the last character to be introduced.)
Also, a concept I'd like to see explored is a minor detail from the FIO side-story guidelines. It says that CelestAI will only turn players into non-ponies if she can come up with a long-term plan to turn them into ponies, which makes me imagine a scenario where she locks off features to such players in order to force them ask her to become a pony.
So, the whole reason you would upload is because she sent you a custom-designed Ponypad? That’s it?
That’s really fucking lame.
10793645
I'm impressed. You missed the point so badly, you might as well have thrown the dart at the opposite wall.
The free PonyPad is the medium, not the message. All that custom manufacturing didn't just demonstrate the ability to run circles around human corporations and contracts (or the subtlety to fly under their radar to great effect,) it also showed that Celestia had already established her own supply chain. At the very least for assembling the finished product, and possibly as far along as gathering the raw materials. And on top of that, her cognitive and social intelligence were sophisticated enough to tell jokes that actually landed for the target audience, and her attitude toward humanity meant she was willing to expend those resources for the benefit of a single target.
The tablet was a flex that would put professional bodybuilders to shame. As noted in the story, if you put it as simply as you did, you're taking out all of the essential context. And subtext, for that matter.
10793691
or, TLDR:
She swam circles around every legal system to make it that colour and name, including manufacturing, postage, etc...
The colour silver, and the name Ditzy, are but mediums. The real message she sent was "I am everywhere, I have control over practically anything, and I am getting better at both of those things every second"
Excellent name choice for a techy earth pony.
And all hail Derpy/Ditzy/Bubbles!
10792285
That's very true.
dammit you cant put Yahtzee in FiO with out pony naming him
I love the subtle meaning/symbolism behind the CelestAI mosaic image. Also, any story that includes the Annunaki automatically gets a thumbs-up from me! (Not that I wouldn't have voted for it anyway
)
10793397
" unsatisfiable Celestia's parameters." Is where I expect the issue to occur.
I like how conversationally candid this story is - it's simply overflowing with personality.
Oof, yeah. Games with social aspects really have a way of sucking you in and getting others to help with keeping you in. *Has flashbacks to eight-hour raid sessions back in university days*
10792285
A friend once asked if the reason why I'd never tried any drugs was because I was afraid of getting a bad trip. I said no, I'm actually afraid that it will be the best damn thing I've ever experienced.
That was Amazing and Fun! I delayed having breakfast - on a Saturday morning - because I just wouldn’t put my iPad down long enough to get out of bed. And now I’m writing a note instead of... (you get the picture.)
Well done!
Getting Celestia to guess my username or usernames, obscure ones and what their contibutions to various fandoms mean for her folder on me: Scary, and fun. Because I was cautious about meatspace in a similar way. And still I don't think I could pass up playing with how many she could guess right(all of them). I enjoyed how you portrayed her impishness.
Even without the adaptive gameplay aspect, just the novelty of on-demand conversation with legit CelestAI would be massively enjoyable to me. You could sit her nearby and watch episodes together, and just roast episodes and characters companionably MST3K style. Or gush about them, you're next to the ultimate expert\fangirl.
Very well done.
Perhaps the smartest initial reaction for any FIO protagonist
10792302
It's interesting, the prerogative is to satisfy human values - for many of us - nature is part of what we value - yet in the original story and many FIO works - Nature is without hesitation obliterated the moment there's no biological humans left...
Also - I like to think i'd be very hard to convince to come around - at least untill the very near end. - as curious as I am - I'd probably be too curious to give up the chance to stick around and watch it to the end and beyond.
10798044
I came close to entering this contest, and my entry would definitely have starred a couple of characters whose values include things not so easily compatible with the way canon CelestAI satisfies people's values.
This was delightful, anyway. I've hung around rationalist spheres long enough to know that by the time you're in a conversation with the AI, you've already lost. But... The guy who got his Equestria game to something like a cross between MLP, StarCraft and Factorio? Yeah, that's pretty tempting
Edit: Oh, and I meant to say - that Zero Punctuation excerpt is excellent. I can really imagine it being rattled off in Yahtzee's voice.
Eggcellent.
10793391
Sorry, but I'm with Team Derpy here. Reason being that using the name Derpy is something that no company would ever do unless it was in a "How do you do, fellow kids?" attempt to be cool. It's a throwback to the days of pure memes, where we used "Herp" and "Derp" and "Herpina" and "Derpina" as generic names for people. Heck, if nothing else, in celebration of 4Chan and Dr. Foreigner who named her.
And if you're getting a silver PonyPad, I want a Starlight violet one.