Jayelms43
Joined 8th Aug, 2019 ·
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I'm only liking this because you decided to make kirishima the main character but do everyone who reads this a favor and study on grammar
You have a lot of runoff sentences in the story I really hope you find an editor or proofreader
Honestly the grammar isn't that bad, one can easily understand what they are trying to say, but all in all I can't wait for it to continue.
I honestly think it's great keep up the good work
I'm loving this s o far.
Ok, I’m kinda confused.
Is that last part true?
How did all for one get there?
for your first question yes that is true.
And as for the second in this one all for one is a anthro ponie
10844524
Is that a reply to my comments?
Yes
10845647
I couldn’t really tell because you forgot to hit the reply button.
10846218
Yes
10846259
Just thought you should know. Also, how do they condition their bodies for their quirks?
10846262
The kaminari train his endurance since his hardening relying on his endurance
10846829
Oh ok.
Recently in the manga, it was made canon that a weakness of One For All is that if a wielder already has a Quirk, their life span will be shortened.
But in a world of magic I can see how your MC would be able to find a way around that weakness.
Not gonna lie, I was too.
Red?
Is that something you made up?
Isn’t that the same as Detroit Smash?
10885533
In order.
First: yes it made me sad too.
Second: the same as deku green lightning when he is using full cowling of one for all.
Thitd: yes I made that up.
Fourth: and yes it's almost the same just a different name to it.
10885612
So he’s not gonna use Detroit Smash?
me want to see more this looks like it will be very interesting as it goes on
I really like it but it needs some editing and the chapters to be better explained cause you're skipping over details that would make the chapters feel more whole. but other than that it's a great concept and I want to see more.
Lol
where is class 1A in the MHA chronology?
10909836
Season 1 right after the usj attack
10910090
you know that means he has two one for all in the same world... hope james or midoriya doesn't end up like the current version of Deku in the manga.
10910367
They won't because since James knows what's going to happen he can train him to control one for all
I was watching the trailer for the 3rd MHA movie and I was thinking are you going to involve the events of the movies in your story?
10911754
Maybe I don't know yet I might do I have to change a few things from the movie so I can start right into my story I'll see how it goes before trying to put the movies in it
wait, shouldn’t James be a student?
10912503
You can kind of say that doing regular High school activities and classes but doing hero training you could say that he's a part-time instructor or sensei.
10912541
Ohh. I was wondering because none of the characters questioned it.
10912584
Don't worry to be thoroughly surprised at what they see going to happen next in the next school day.
But you going to have to wait for the next chapter
10912589
Also, where did UA come from?
10912672
I thought I'd be more interesting adding that in the story
10912691
So there’s no story behind it? They just popped up out of no where?
10912775
I mean I'm going to have a little background story about it and saying that it came to be after the whole Discord coming back cause more chaos thing
10912778
I guess that would work.
Won’t it be confusing because there’s two kirishimas?
He’s not?
Which is?
I’ll be honest, I don’t know if James will win that fight.
I thought aizawa was supposed to teach them.
So the teachers are just going along with this?
They’re not gonna question how he knows about one for all?
More
Great story bro, but the grammar is kinda off... Also first time?
But where's Spike though?
Why did he miss out on meeting Red Riot?
Why didn't Spike get a proper on-screen meeting to James?
As in introduction and such.
Wait, so Tokoyami got one-shotted and was made a fool of too?
Is this gonna continue too?