Pinkie Pie kills her hair.
Content Notice: Hair isn't/manes are not alive (Except for the Mane-iac's )... but the "death" tag is for more than a homophone; it is out of caution due to cancer-related treatments for a child.
- This idea is from the My Little Pony Renaissance competition, which required that a story: "follow the set theme of "Change". This can be as small as Pinkie Pie deciding to dye her hair...", but it was not quite a 4,000 word idea, so my contest entry utilized the 'other' main prompt: "[or it can be] as dramatic as Princess Twilight embracing the dark side".
This idea was, however, long enough for the Thousand Words contest.
Image: as credited at this link; also, further edited by this author.
That was a truly unexpected ending. I’m now wrought with so many emotions that conflict one another. Poor Lil Cheese and what a wonderful mother Pinkie’s become
Wow.
Well. This took a turn. I feel like this puts too much focus where it doesn't need it. The Dash/Pinkie exchange feels off and distracts from the intended mood, and the lengthy description of the state of Pinkie's mane is more disgusting than anything.
All told, this is suffering from the word limit; it has to try to manage the mood shifts in very few words, and as a result doesn't quite make them work. Good idea, but cramped execution. Still, thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.
11265914
Thank you for reading. I disagree with those comments; however, I appreciate you took the time to explain and they did inspire me to consider a different alteration in one paragraph. When I am permitted to edit this (after the contest results are delivered) I will make an adjustment related to the lollypop "mane" paragraph, which is already inherently tied into the story's conclusion on multiple levels. Since the contest is still being judged, I will refrain from elaborating until later although I certainly would prefer to be able to tie things up sooner.
Also, here is the mane picture that inspired that section, lollypop and all--> HERE.
so many "P"s!
ooh, foreshadowing!
aww, glad to see Gummy still around after all these years
aww, so that explains her very unique manestyle in the flash-forward!
and oof, such a vivid description of the unfortunate consequences of such mane
dang, Dash is just so #relatable in every story i am reading!
gotta say, Rainbow is pretty privileged to have a mane that just looks like that. and yes, i am very jealous
aww, yeah, i'd be worried for Pinkie too!
poetry, love it
aww! and yeah, since their bodies are covered in hair, would shaving their manes off expose a different coat underneath? it is confusing and i guess that is why Pinkie was confused by what Rainbow said!
augh, love this!
oof, that word again! perfectly timed in the emotional arc, augh
aaaaaa
augh, my heartstrings!
i really loved this, wow. augh.
Pinkie is older now, as are all the ponies around her, but she is still very much in a lot of ways unchanged from her younger self, and that's causing problems. it's very easy to imagine the *the argument* arising from this contradiction between the carefree, insensitive, easily-distracted Pinkie of her youth and her more adult responsibilities and roles of the present, and with the reveal the pieces do finally come together. what Pinkie needs to be for her daughter is different from anything that she has faced before.
in that way, the way the story's focus shifted so much between unrelated topics before becoming crystal-sharp and clear in the final reveal scene, just worked excellently. that is a reflection of Pinkie's internal journey of struggling with her Pinkie tendencies before coming together right when everything matters. agh, so great!
and the way the on-the-surface silly title and line of inspiration is turned into something with such weight, just a brilliant inversion of the intention of various lines within contest descriptions as always! excellent stuff here.
(sudden thought bubble)
What if a Pony Cancer patient had to shave ALL of their hair off...
no disrespect intended.
We have been giving BoneMarrowTransplants to patients whose BoneMarrow died from ChemoTherapy or RadiationTherapy for cancer 3 generations and wondering why they how enough StemCells in critical categories, such as for the walls of BloodVessels or the lining of the intestines, survived for allowing them to live. Recently, a male recipient regained fertility after extreme ChemoTherapy and a BoneMarrowTransplant. The resulting offspring were the children of the donor. All of this time, some StemCells from the BoneMarrow changed type to other types of StemCells. If the donor is female, and the recipient is male, because females only have X-Chromosomes, all of the offspring of the recipient must be daughters.