Open for Art Commissions. I write gay romantic comedies with ponies now. Get off my back, MOM.
The Crystal Empire has been lost due to an onset growth of crystals that engulfed most of the capital and encased its citizens within.
Braeburn, returning from confirming the loss of his beloved Sunburst, mourns his death at home alone.
This story contains LGBT themes. Emphasis on the G.
Written for the Quills and Sofas Speed Write "The Return" with the themes of "Hope" and "Murder".
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In advance, sorry if this comment seems a bit rushed. Had no idea that this one didn’t have any comments until last night when Bike sent out the announcement of the state of Luna Slate X.
I shouldn’t have put this one off. Not only that, but I was expecting a fic about grief, and completely missed the ‘Thriller’ tag. I got way more than I bargained for.
This will also be tricky to comment for, as there are so much that can be spoiled. So, the comment below will be practically drowning in spoiler tags.
Aww. Poor Brae.
No doubt that image will scar him.
Grief is already setting in. He needs to take some time, but who else would care for the house? For him? This is one of the reasons why I thought the next scene was just a grief-induced nightmare. No doubt that the loss of Sunburst deeply affected him.
Why am I getting 'dead butterflies (One of Them Will Destroy the Other)' vibes?
Gave me chills. This would make for an amazing cover art!
DON’T answer that.
This is why I thought it was a dream. The metaphor of shadow and water. Subliminally, the message here is that Braeburn needs to grieve otherwise he’ll drown in it. Also, just a thought, but maybe eldritch horrors in nightmares run in the Apple family? For instance, ShadowBloom in AppleBloom’s nightmare.
I like the clever uses of the monster calling out “Sunshine” and “Braebie”. The thought that came to mind is all is needed for something to be creepy is to take the familiar and soothing, and twist it to have malicious intent. That’s the small little details that make the story punch.
It’s a trap!
Like a click of a mousetrap. The small sound right before the flare of pain. Also, this is the first hint we get that it wasn’t a dream.
Finally, The ending scene is haunting. The image that Silverstar gazes upon definitely finishes off with style. The protruding crystals, the running water from the eyes, and the cherry on top- the blissful smile.
Geez, now I want to write a thriller myself! Well done!
oof, what a lovely bit of horror here! the setup, with
and
did their job in establishing Braeburn's grief and loss in a way that i really felt it, and i loved how ambiguous the relationship between the crystal monster and Sunburst felt. just enough to make one think that it really was Sunburst in a way, but referring to Sunburst in his memory as "he" definitely tipped the scales for me, and the idea of an unfathomable being having eaten Sunburst's identity and memory is a great bit of horror. the body horror of being transformed into crystal, and the unsettling way Braeburn accepted his fate with a blissful smile were also great elements