What We Lose
Chapter 3
Those eyes. Those stunning bright violet eyes. Everything else faded into the background as I gazed into those eyes. The eyes I first saw that fateful day in Ponyville. The eyes that saved me from Discord. The eyes that stole my heart. The eyes I hadn’t seen in four months, twenty-seven days, and some hours.
Her eyes were dazed and unfocused, full of confusion. She moved her head and groaned. Her pupils dilated, and her body went limp as she fell unconscious once again. The room went dead silent. Everypony was staring at Twi.
The room sprung into motion around me, rushing towards her. Rarity, Fluttershy, AJ and Pinkie, rushed towards the bed, only to be stopped by a nurse and ushered out of the room. I sat down, hard. My brain was trying to process what just happened.
Somepony helped me to my hooves and out the door. We went down the hall. She patted my shoulder and left me at the door. I stumble through and collapsed on a couch, my head spinning.
She woke up. She actually woke up! A smile slowly grew on my face. After months of frowns and pain, I could finally smile again. Tears rolled down my cheek and I took a deep breathe in. Then, I laughed. I truly laughed. I laughed away all the bad times, the uncertainty, the fear, and let myself go. The others were watching me, all smiling, with tears in their eyes too.
Wiping the tears from my eyes, I heard a giggle from the group. Of course, it was Pinkie. But it was Pinkie like I hadn’t seen in a long while. Her hair was back to a crazy mess, fluffy and bouncy. It was pure cotton candy like chaos, and seeing it made my grin even wider. But even better than her signature mane, were her eyes. Those bright blue eyes were back. They had a bright twinkle within. You could see the laughter there, waiting to be unleashed.
The world turned pink as the party pony tackled me, squeezing the life out of me in a huge bear hug. After a second of shock, I wrapped my forehooves around her and hugged back, letting out a huge sigh. I heard a sniff, and back looked over towards the others. One look at the two of us hugging and the others all joined in.
After everything we went through, we stayed there, enjoying the hugs and the company. The day looked brighter. Everything looked better. Hope had finally come back. I felt it in my heart. For the first time since the accident, I had hope, hope that everything would return to normal. Pulling AJ and Shy closer to me, I let out a sigh of relief, closed my eyes, and shed a tear. A tear of happiness.
Pinkie froze. Her body stock still, as if she had just been hit. A smile died on her face, her eyes grew hollow. Her body spasmed in odd ways, parts moving, shivering, shaking, an incoming Pinkie Sense. Her mouth quivered, gasping around words she couldn’t get out. Her mane darkened and fell flat, tears falling down her face.
The silence that had fallen was torn to pieces, a blood-curdling scream coming from down the hall. It was a scream like only one I had ever heard before. It was her. It was Twilights scream.
I remember that scream. I remember all the sounds she made. I remember her mumbling when she was tired. I remember her soft kind lecturing tone, whenever she tried to teach you something. I remembered the little snore she had when she was sleeping. I remember how she whispered my name in her sleep, cuddling up close to me. I remember so much, but more than anything, I remember that scream. I remember every time I close my eyes, every time I look at myself in the mirror. I remember always and forever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I closed my eyes and soared through the air, taking a moment to lose myself in the joy of flight. I did a flip, feeling the wind ruffle my primaries. I breathed out and emptied my lungs of oxygen. I breathed in and opened my eyes. I watched all the clouds in the sky, blown away by a rainbow shockwave. My Sonic Rainbooms were always awesome.
I drifted for a bit, watching the colors spread, leaving the sky tinted by my wing. I took a minute to relish it. I didn’t need the Wonderbolts then. What could they give me?
My wingbeats faltered as a scream cut through the air to my ear, echoing through the quiet afternoon. That scream... That was Twi! I came to a quick halt, frantically looking around, trying to see where she was. I scanned the ground around the lake and the surface , looking for her lavender coat.
There! She was lying against a tree a book open next to her on the ground. It looked like she just fallen asleep reading. I might’ve been over reacting, assuming it was her who screamed. She always said I was too protective. Grinning at the memory of her telling me off, I flew down to check on her anyway. Better safe than sorry they said!
I touched down a little ways away, my hooves crushing the soft grass beneath them, and trotted towards her. I watched her face. Her eyes were closed, clenched tight as if shutting out a bright light. Her face was locked in a tight grimace. My hoofsteps slowed and I called out, “Twilight? Hey Twi, wake up!”
She didn’t move a muscle. I sped up into a sprint, quickly arriving at her side. I grabbed her and gently shook her. “Twi! Wake up! Please, please wake up!” Her body was limp and clammy in my grasp. My heartbeat sped up, my eyes starting to water.
“No, please Twi! You’re scaring me, tell me this is a joke! W-why won’t y-you wake up?” My voice broke as I begged her to come around.
“Somepony, anypony! Help! My wife needs help!” I screamed. I looked around the abandoned field. “Dammit! Don’t worry Twi, I’ll get you somewhere safe, just you wait and see. You’ll be fine!” I gently picked her up in my forehooves and took off as fast as I could safely go.
“Just a little longer Twi, hold on.” I whispered. My eyes were blinded by tears I struggled to blink away.
I flew off into the pure blue, cloudless sky, still colored by rainbow light. I held Twilight in my hooves. I held her close to my heart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pinkie was collapsed on the floor, not able to hold herself up from the spasming sobs. Rarity was sitting next to her, rubbing her shoulder, trying to calm her down, her own face colored with tears and confusion. Fluttershy was quivering behind the couch, startled by the scream, only able to stare at the scene before her. AJ was moving towards the door, going to look down the hall.
I rose to my unsteady hooves and walked slowly towards the doorway. I took it step by step, knowing I had to see her. AJ looked at me and frowned. “Rainbow, what ar--” I nudged past her and she stopped talking. I walked past her and out the door. I turned down the hall, looking straight ahead. My vision blurred and for a moment I saw throne room of Canterlot Castle. I saw seats to my right and left, filled with ponies I loved. I saw further away, Rarity, Pinkie, Shy, AJ, and Princess Celestia all beaming at me. I saw a mare, dressed in a gown of white. There for me.
I blinked and the hall returned. I looked down towards my hooves and walked down the the hall. My hoofsteps echoed out, bouncing around the halls. They sounded lonely. I arrived at the door and stopped. I raised my hoof and knocked. I entered the room.
There she was, sitting upright. She was looking out the window, out toward ponyville and the setting sun. She heard me enter and looked over. “Twi?” I whispered, barely loud enough for her to hear.
Our eyes connected. I looked at those eyes, and I saw the mare that I love. I looked at those eyes and thought of all the times I had looked into them and said, “I love you.” I looked into those eyes, and was overwhelmed by the sea of confusion. Confusion and fear. I looked as deeply as I could, searching for it. Searching for that one spark of recognition. The one thing I needed to see there. Love.
They weren’t there. No recognition. No love. No matter how hard I looked, they just were gone.
“Who are you?” She asked cautiously.
Everything in my mind just left.
Who are you?
The doctor turned towards me and said something.
Who are you?
He repeated him self louder.
Who are you?
He grabbed me and pulled me out the door.
Who are you?
He let go of me and I went over to the wall and slowly sat down next to it.
Who are you?
Three words ran through my head.
Who are you?
Jesus! And I don't have time to read now!
BTW, Are there any major changes in chapter two? I see it got updated too
1295439 No, just a tiny one. There also may be one other small one in chapter 2 later this week, depending.
Ah, one of those comas.
Ahhhh noooo!!!! How could you? Ugh.... this is so beautiful, well done you
1295457 I'm a jerk. I love to see my favorite characters in horrible situations.
Those three Celestia damned words!
Amnesia the thing everyone has when they come out of a coma, still we get to see her fall in love with Dash all over again
1295465 and you do it rather well. This is the second twilight coma story I have read, and you have taken it in an interesting direction, I like, hmmmm....can't wait to see what happens a next..and will It resolve?
NOOOOOOOO! Amnesia! This is going to be horribe... But good?
1295486 1295485>>1295488 Only time will tell.
I really hope this doesn't become like that movie with Adam Sandler where he meets this girl who suffers amnesia and always thinks that that day was her birthday...
1295539 Don't worry, this is my own piece of work. I haven't even seen that movie in years!
There it is... Right in the feels...
I think I might have to check myself into hospital - I have a serious case of mood whiplash. (It was worth it though, you magnificent bastard ).
I'll tell ya how she really ended up in that coma. Discord dropped her!
s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/newsfeed/000/179/464/Discord%20and%20Twilight%20Sparkle%202.png?1317214030
Twas one hell of a sight
Nooooooooooo!!!!!!! Curses cliff hangers!!!!!!
So, I decided to read this, and it hit home for me. I don't really cry very often, but this one made me tear up. You do a stunning job of putting emotion into the story. When Twi came out of the coma, it was almost like when I had gotten the news that my close friend broke out of his coma on Friday. I was overjoyed, and almost cried out I was so happy. Then when I read about her amnesia, I couldn't help but feel sad, because she'd lost something that defined her, and I know that if my buddy had lost his memories, it would have been extremely hard on his family, and his friends. So, thank you for writing this. It really is a beautiful piece of writing, and it will definitely be held in a special place in my mind as to it's importance.
Luckily, I do have good news about my buddy. He broke out of the coma, and is in the long process of fully recovering from it. He's started to say a few words here and there, and even his old fighting spirit is back(he tried to get his grandfather to cut the restraints on the bed so he could leave). Hopefully he keeps up his rapid rate of recovery.
And now the long road to helping her fall in love with you again starts, Dash. Excellent story.
1295592 I'm so happy to hear that he's getting better! I'm glad I could touch people by writing this, it took a lot of effort to put in the emotion, but it was worth it. Hoping your friend is back up on his feet soon!
I've Favorited this story since the first chapter, and I'd have to say, this one was the best so far.
The last part really hit my heart hard. Maybe not as hard as RD's, but still pretty hard.
Thank you for writing something so brilliantly made. - Sorin "Kalreas" Kanire
Also -- 1295592
I wish good recovery and fortune to your friend! And also the fortune goes to you.
Oh wow. . .poor Rainbow
ahem. to reiterate those that came before me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
breakdown time: twilight wakes up. RD: Errrbody else:
Twilight: "who are you?"
RD: (no crying rainbow dash Icons)
MOARMOARMOARMOAR QUICKLY!!! Um, that is, if you don't mind....
Haha, to have hopes raised and dashed so profoundly.
Also my paranoid side thinks the doctors tried some risky drug or something, at first thinking it failed, to which they brought in the rest of the mane six as stimuli hoping for new developments toward twi, the result being an awakening taxed with amnesia.
Forever a conspiracy theorist.
Gotta say, till now this story was only in my RIL list, but this chapter made me fave.
I kinda saw that coming. Still sad though. Cant wait to see what you have planned for the rest of the fic.
On the edge of my seat with this one. Hoping this won't turn out to be a snuff fic in the end.
Okay last chapter I was confused but now... I'm really confused! Okay... here's the run down I get so far.
Is married to
For some odd reason is in the hospital.
Before all this heard a scream and finds poor on the ground with her face in a book unmoving and none responsive.
Being worried she picks her up in her hooves and finds that she is "limp and clammy".
Now after a long wait screams yet again and and especially find out she has amnesia.
Did I miss something here?! More. For Celestia's sakes, no by order of the Royal Pony sisters, give us more and some bucking answers! Please? Pretty please?
1295551 Oof, my feels just took a major blow...
Anyways, I also read Dream of Me, and I must say I like that you're taking different tact than that author. I think you write it well, despite a few small grammatical errors (you missed a sentence ending period at one point). All in all, I'm sorta worried Twi won't remember her love for Rainbow... but I think I'd be able to not beat you up too bad if it happens that way... after all, you did tag it sad, so you gave fair warning. (It'd still better have at least a chance to end happy though!)
Damn, seems everyone guessed right on the amnesia thing. Can't to see how it turns out. *Crosses Fingers* here is hopeing it isn't the usual cliche amnesia bs
imgur.com/vGmMo
I knew she would have full amnesia, so much so that I practically shouted "yes". Rather ashamed of myself really.
memeorigin.com/img/memes-poker-face/1d7.png
Dont forget to have Shining Armor and/or Celestia visit now that she's up
Possibly a...Damn it, now I can't remember the word I was thinking of to minutes ago. Exhaustion, thou be one of my more annoying enemies. Husk, Good luck and good health to your friend. Author, I have a theory or three on why/what caused Twilight to be comatose and have memory loss... But I don't choose to reveal them at this time.
by the way, I called it. I saw this happening as soon as she woke up. doesn't make it any less sad, but I called it nonetheless.
20 bits on that it as something in that book. A dark presence or some other entity trapped within it's pages or a spell that had activated as Twilight was reading it.
Okay, so, everybody else beat me to the comments about feelings, so here are a couple of edits I noticed -
One look at the two of us hugging and the others all joined in
(has no period at the end of the sentence)
She alway said I was too protective
needs to be "always"
YES! Amnesia! It's just like a soap opera. Oh wait, I have Futurama quotes just for this!
nooo dame it I new this was coming poor rainbow
1296430 Don't worry, I did the same thing.
1295135
Alright, allow me to be explicit here. And I apologize for this, because I'm really enjoying your story.
This story does not have a <Random> tag, a <Comedy> tag, nor a <Alternate Universe> tag. It is a serious story, with serious characters. What you did with the Faust line was throw in a random bit of comedy from an alternate universe as a GAG. In a very, very serious story where something actually depressing is happening.
So my explicit point is this: That is bad writing. That is detracting and hurting your story AS a story. Regardless of all other factors.
1297808
It doesn't hurt the story or make it bad writing. I think you're just looking for something to complain about.
Yeah! I Knew It. Now there's two questions: 1) What type of amnesia (Anterograde, where one is unable to form new memories or Retrograde, where one's previous memories are lost)? (It appears to be Retrograde.) 2) How severe is the memory loss (has Twilight forgotten just her time in Ponyville, or does it extend to her time as Celestia's student and beyond)?
Great work. You are handling the emotions beautifully, and the total amnesia is really not that surprising given how long she was out. That much time unconscious basically mandates serious brain damage so I would not be surprised if she has some serious speech, body control, sensory, or mental impairments in addition to the amnesia.
1295640 Glad to know I'm not getting worse!
1295722 1295764 1296378I just love to mess with their emotions.
1295730 Working as fast as I can!
1295836 Thanks for that! Its good to know my writing meets your standards.
1295977 1296295>>1296430>>1296544>>1297722>>1297735 I'm happy some people guessed it! It means it took their attention away from other little things I've slipped in there.
1296081 Okay so Twi and Dash fell in love and got married. One day Dash finds Twi unconscious. Turns out she's in a coma. Now she woke up. She has amnesia and can't remember Dash. More will be revealed as time goes on. Hope you're less confused!
1296160 I loved Dream of Me. It did help to inspire parts of this fic. But I'm going for something different here. I want my work to stand for itself. Good to know so far it is!
1296295 You and me both!
1296442 Oh come on! Now you have me curious! You can't leave me hanging like that, it's my job to make the cliff hangers!
1297461 Thanks for finding those! Fixed.
1297721 Ahhh amnesia. The best part is you can wrap your own Christmas (or any other holiday) gift!
1297808 Thank you for being honest with me. I threw that in there to add some emphasis, not guessing it would take people out of the experience. I don't know if I would say that was bad writing though, merely a lapse in my judgement. Glad you still like the story though!
1298004 Thanks for sticking up for my story! Sometimes it can be good when people look for something to complain about. Its somewhat like constructive criticism.
1298148 You can thank all the writers I love to read for having so many cliffhangers and for showing me how to do them.
1298536 This comment deserves its own reply. These are very important questions.
1299045 Thanks!
Thanks to everyone who's read and commented! I love to see what you're thinking. Hopefully I can keep delivering. Next chapter: Whenever I have time to write!
MOAR BIATCH MOAR!
1295577 lol
1299298
Sigh, alright I'll wait for the next chapter then. But still... I kind of already knew all this I just what to know how and why Twilight was in a coma, how she gained the amnesia, as well as maybe have a bit more back story explaining all this. Keep going can't wait for the next part.
Oww, my heart. You ...jerk!
AH HA! I KNEW IT! I knew she had amnesia!
1298004
more that I found something, I think?
It's a great story, I don't wanna take issue with it