Chapter 1
“Are you sure?” I hated how my voice shook. I was a damned coward.
“I’m sure, Applejack. It’s safe. I’ve been through a hundred times.” I could hear the impending lecture in Twilight’s voice. She wanted to explain to me how it all worked, I could tell. But she was holding back.
“But what if I…”
“AJ, just go already!” Of course Dash sounded jealous. She wanted to go through instead of me. But it wasn’t her butt that was flashing and vibrating, it was mine, which meant it was my body being sucked through the mirror portal, my innards being rearranged and reshaped until I looked like some sort of bipedal horror show with no hooves and no muzzle, my body that’s gonna be shoved into magically summoned clothes, my…
I couldn’t think about it too hard. I gulped, and stepped up to the portal. “Yeah, yeah, keep yer pants on, Dash. I just… just gotta work myself up to it, that’s all.” I held my hat on with one hoof. Maybe Twilight was right, and I’d have clothes on the other side, but I needed to keep my hat. It was the rule. “Honestly, Twi, I’m jumpier than a cat in a room fulla rocking chairs. I just dunno…”
“I'm certain that you’ll be just fine. I’d be coming too, except we both know that’s not how the map works.” Twilight always looked a little put out when she couldn’t come with us on our friendship missions.
“Well, if you’re so sure…” I reached out with one hoof, and brushed it against the mirror. It didn’t feel like any mirror I’d ever touched before. It was warm. My fur stood on edge, and my skin crawled. I couldn’t help but shudder.
“Are you gonna chicken out? Cuz I thought you were the second bravest pony in Ponyville!” Dash, as usual, was hovering, and she threw her hooves high in the air. “For goodness sake, AJ. Spike goes through all the time! If he can…”
“Shut up, Dash,” I growled at her. “Fine. I’ll go through.” I pushed my hoof just a little further, and it disappeared into the mirror. The surface was rippling, I could feel… something brushing up against my hoof. “Uh… T-twi? Is it supposed to feel like that?” I glanced back to see the two faces of my friends; Twilight’s, patient and encouraging, and Dash’s, annoyed and bored.
“I’ve always gone through quickly, Applejack, so I…”
“I-I can’t, Twi. Maybe the map got it wrong. Maybe…” I started to pull my hoof back, but that’s when something wrapped around it. Several long somethings, in fact. They grabbed onto my hoof, and with no warning, they pulled.
I may be the pony of Honesty or whatever, but I’ll never admit to screaming.
Going through the portal felt like being eaten alive by a rainbow and then pooped out the other end. It’s like I imagined what looking into Pinkie’s brain might feel like. And then there’s the physical sensation; ever had your hooves pulled apart and put back together again, your neck bent at a weird angle, your tail get sucked into your behind, all while your hooves sprout little tentacle things and your ears shrink into your brain? Yeah. It’s like that.
When my eyes started working again, I was on all four hooves, on some sort of cement.
Wait.
Not hooves. Hands. That was the word Twi had used when I told her I hadn’t read her ‘briefing materials’. But what did she think I was, some sorta scholar? Yeah right, not this gal.
Somepony was standing in front of me. I could see her red shoes. One of them was tapping impatiently. They were oddly shaped, but when I glanced down to the end of my way-too-long hind hooves (legs, AJ. They’re legs. That’s what Twi said. With feets on them.) I had some sorta boots on, too. And they were just as oddly shaped. Too long. I could feel little wiggly things on the end of them, too, like the ones on the end of my hands, only shorter. Guess I had claws like a dragon now, or something.
“Took ya long enough!” Dash said. I glanced up at…
Was it Rainbow Dash? Looked like her. Same rainbow hair. Same magenta eyes. Same confident smirk. Only her muzzle was flat, her ears were on the sides of her head, her… everything… was all out of sorts. It looked like one of those ‘modern art’ sort of things that Canterlot ponies drooled over and looked like something Apple Bloom mighta drawn that time she mistook Granny’s secret reserve cider with the un-fermented stuff.
“Dash?” I said dumbly. “You come through too?”
“What? Oh, no, I didn’t. I’m this world’s Dash.” She held out her forehoof, wiggling the little appendages at me. “C’mon, lemme help you up.”
“What’s goin’ on?”
“We got a message from Twi. Her magic map summoned you to help with some sorta friendship problem, right? Well, she let Sunset know, and so I volunteered to come pick you up. Couldn’t be you, of course. Well, this world’s you. I mean the you that’s not you. You know…”
“Y’all wanna slow down a bit, Dash?” My vision was swimming. “I feel like ten bits worth of apples in a five bit bag.”
She looked at me funny, and laughed. “That’s not how that phrase goes over here. C’mon, take my hand, I’ll help you up.” I lifted my own… hand… and wiggled my own claws. Fingers? Rainbow grabbed them, and with a gentleness I didn’t expect, pulled me to my hind hooves. I nearly stumbled, but she quickly reached out and steadied me. “Careful, there, AJ. Sunset warned us that it takes a while to get used to bike pedal local ocean. Or whatever words she uses.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” But her steadying arm was a blessing. She held me upright while I put one foot in front of the other. Good news was, it seemed my own body had instincts. It wasn’t hard to figure out, and after a few steps I was on my own.
“See? You’re a natural,” Rainbow clapped me on the back. “Now. Follow me, I’ll show you to my car. We’ll head to my house, that’s where you’ll be staying.”
“With you? Uh, I kinda thought I’d be staying with…”
“Staying with the other you?” Rainbow laughed nervously. “Nah. Not a chance. Um. She doesn’t know you’re here. Only me, Sunset, and Pinkie. And we had to bribe Pinkie not to say anything.”
“So… you lied to my counterpart?” I scowled at Rainbow.
“Not lied! Just… didn’t mention it, is all.” Rainbow looked like she was sweating. We walked side by side, towards what looked like some sorta closed-top cart with rubber wheels and metal sides and top. Twi had warned me about those, too. Automocars, I think she called them. Ran on some sorta explosion. I eyed it like you’d eye a bull minotaur trying to juggle Granny’s china.
“You wanna explain what’s going on to me?” I demanded. Making Dash tell me the whole story was a good excuse to stop from getting closer to the automocar.
“Um.” Dash turned her back to me, and she was wringing her hands together. It must have been a nervous tic.
“Dash, if you don’t tell me what’s happening, I swear to Celestia I’ll turn around and walk right through that statue again.”
“It’s me!” Dash wailed suddenly. She spun around and grabbed my hands. “I’m doomed, AJ. I can’t do it, and I need your help. I’m falling apart.” I could guess just how hard this was for her. My Dash had a hard time admitting weakness, so it made sense the other Dash did, too.
“Woah, nelly. Slow down and tell me the whole thing, RD.”
“I’m the friendship problem, AJ. You see, there’s this… girl.”
Oh. Well. Love problems. “Uh, shouldn't you have gone to see Rarity about this, then? Seems like her area of expertise.”
“You think I didn’t try that?” Dash snorted. “Of course she was the first stop. But three hours, six book recommendations, and twelve dresses later, and I’m no closer to asking my crush out. Rarity talks a big game, but she lacks experience. And I’m probably beyond her help! I can’t believe I’m such a… weakling.”
“Well, if not Rares, don’t you have your own AJ you could talk to?”
“No!” Rainbow squeaked. Squeaked. Seriously, the only pony I’d ever heard make a similar noise was Sweetie Belle. “I can’t! Not about… this!”
“Why not? I’m sure she’s just as…”
And that was when the other horseshoe dropped. The other AJ couldn’t come to meet me. The other AJ couldn’t know I was here. The other AJ couldn’t help Rainbow Dash with her crush.
“Oh, horseapples.”
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Lovely glimpse of a larger tale. I hope you expand this should you get the time and inspiration.
Well, this was surprisingly fun. Take an upvote from me
Finally! About time another Applejack story made it to the Featured Box. Congrats!
Dreadnought
I loved this story! So polished for only a half-hour of time. You should consider entering Everfree Northwest's Iron Author competition next year.
I'd love to see what you can do with two hours!
Seriously, you need to have a sequel. I'd love to know what comes next!
Dreadnought
11061986
Thank you!
Honestly I read about the competition. It'd be loads of fun, but I don't know if I'll make it to EFNW. I'm for sure going to be trying to make it to next year's Trotcon in the summer, though I'd like to do both.
As for another chapter, maybe? It's certainly possible, but I'm not too sure I'll ever get around to it. Or if I even know where I'd go from here, ya know?
Such awesome horse words, and in so little time, too! Love it!
A favorite well-deserved!
11061994
I hope to make it to TrotCon. I've heard good things. We'll see if the military will let me take leave next July.
As for a sequel, if you write it I'll definitely read it!
Brilliance story!
This is good stuff.
Yep, unsubtle is Rarity, whether pony or human.
Cool story, interesting premise, everyone is in character. Could see this as a real episode. If you hadn't put that description in, I never would have guessed you wrote this is just half an hour.
There's only one thing I'd change, and that's the Completed status. This feels like the start of a longer story, and I'd love for you to continue it.
I mean you kinda cheated with the prompt since EQG can count as medieval scifi (basically fantasy character gets to modern world) so...
Anyways, yeah we want more
Reminds me of Self Help. Good job, hope to see more!
Well that's gonna turn into a lovely trainwreck. Very nice.
Ah I remember this one. God, I’d pay money to see this expanded.
…
Hey completely unrelated, do you do writing commissions?
11062261
Heh.
Unfortunately I don't. And even if I did, my plate's a bit too full at the moment.
Might be open to some kinda trade in the future, though, when the schedule's not so busy.
11062270
Haha no worries! I’m just goofin’. Just trying to tell you I do love this concept! I can understand being busy
Took me a few reads but I figured Sunset meant "bipedal locomotion". Dash may read books but she's not the brainiac Sunset and Twi are.
interesting start to a potential fic!
11062328
I honestly wondered if anybody would catch that, or if it was just too weird. But yes, I like to think that Rainbow Dash casually mispronounces words and phrases and doesn't really care.
11062334
Ahh, the tiny details that make the shine of a wonderful author
11062334
I got bipedal locomotion, but I didn't get the below qoute:
11062373
The human expression is, "I feel like ten pounds of [poop] in a five pound bag". It's a real-life countryism for basically feeling like crap.
11062380
That's a new one for me. Thanks for the explanation!
11062380
Interesting, I've only ever heard "ten pounds of *apples* in a five pound bag," not [poop]. It's always been used to comment on overloading something, not feeling terrible.
Edit: Fantastic story, though! I loved it!
if this was longer I actually be interested in this
Ah yes rainbow dash, absolute paragon of cunning. Can't ask a girl out? Go on a practice date with her alternate universe counterpart. I'm sure nothing will go wrong and no wacky highjinks will ensue.
You wrote this in half an hour? You deserve a derpy for that.
Here:
This is awesome! I'm already invested. Can't wait for chapter 2!
I laughed. This is clever.
sums it up nicely XD
Half an hour? That's very impressive. It's a fun little snippet and you can see how AJ would be scared to go through the portal. It's really open ended. I wonder if it would have been better with a few more lines to signal the end of the story. Like AJ going: "Aww, heck no!" and rushing back through the portal. Or a scene switch where pony Rainbow is asking human AJ the same question on the other side of the portal. Something like that, but maybe less cliche.
Either way, I'm glad I read it and I enjoyed it. And again, half an hour? Chapeau.
11062270
Shame that, I could already hear the Benny Hill song going in my head.
This is great! I can't believe that this story was written in just half an hour!
Huh.
*reads story description*
Ohhh.
Ok this was awesome
This is good for a short story that was quickly written.
Great story, apple! Almost wish there was more to this - sounds like the start of a great rom-com.
This was pretty good for a short story! I really like the concept, its cute. Wish there was more of it but its all good, I liked it regardless :)
Needs a continuation. NOW.
Funny little story, Thanks
Given this was a speedwrite and thus didn't have the opportunity to explore the story much, this was a lot of fun and had a good payoff. It makes sense that Applejack would be so apprehensive about the portal.
This is really good. For something whipped up in a half-hour, it’s funny and flows nicely. No language errors I could spot.
One thing that really stood out was the girls calling each other by their nicknames. Dash, AJ, Twi and Rares. They are all so comfortable with each other and the franchise always has the girls refer to each other by their full names, which I always thought was a little weird. So I’m glad you took the other direction.
11061994
Well, if you have some time now, there's at least two ways to go.
1. Have a "trial date" / "asking out" of Mlp-AJ, so that EqG-Dash gets practice. Only to have EqG-AJ show up, and shenanigans happen.
2. A "Cyrano" style "I'll help you with what to say", because of course one AJ knows what the other wants to hear ... only the pony phrases come out and shenanigans happen.
3. Flat out MLP AJ talks to EqG AJ and then ... one of them comes over to RD, and talks to her. But RD doesn't know which one it is ... shenanigans happen.
... And if you consider all the TV shows, including twin sisters where one says "I'll help you with my sister" sort of things, every one of these ideas has made the 22 minute format.