• Member Since 11th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Pascoite


I'm older than your average brony, but then I've always enjoyed cartoons. I'm an experienced reviewer, EqD pre-reader, and occasional author.

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Sunset Shimmer must have felt nervous about meeting Princess Celestia again. She couldn’t even be mad at Celestia anymore, even though by all rights she should. If she could just be loved, maybe that would prove enough.


Finished 8th of 36 in the /fic/ write-off event Here at the End of All Things. Thanks to Aragon and horizon for giving me extensive feedback on the first draft, though that was over four years ago, and they may well not remember doing so.

Featured on Equestria Daily.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 12 )

Whoa, now there's a twist!

An excellent short work. Good to see this finally making it here on Fimfic.

11126183
It got very mixed reactions in the writeoff, mostly from factions who love or hate Celestia/Sunset reconciliation stories on principle. Aragon and horizon both gave me some great advice on streamlining it, as it was probably too long for its own good, so I tried to judiciously cut it back to the essentials. I hope I didn't make it worse. :twilightsheepish:

Well, that was unexpected...
Wait...
you're telling me Sunset is a changeling?

11126352

I think more it was Chrysalis or another changling pretending to be her, as per the Author's note.

I was enjoying it, right up until the end and Sunset was talking about feeding on emotion, then *woah*. Took me a moment to work out my puzzlement then I really enjoyed it. Well done!

11126499
Yeah, despite what I said, that thought had entered my mind as well, that it was probably a changeling drone.

11126499
11126556
You are correct, this is a changeling who knows Celestia loves Sunset very much but Sunset is unlikely to show up, so it's the perfect opportunity to steal that love. But it's not just any changeling. Note the "How royal" comment she makes.

11126664
Oof, of course ol' Chryssi would take the opportunity to steal love from her biggest enemy. But if she wasn't expecting that love to be laced with guilt, would that suggest she doesn't know what transpired between them, or didn't know Celestia's full feelings on the matter?

11126671
Yes, she doesn't know the whole background, just what discussion she's overheard while disguised and eavesdropping around Twilight's castle. The gritty past would have been unusual to come up in conversation.

11126675
It would also explain why "Sunset" hates Twilight which had me curious at first as Sunset would be grateful to Twilight for saving her and cherishes her as a friend
Everything falls into place now...

Not having read the original write-off version, or having any first-hand experience with those competitions at all, I don't know how much what I'm about to say will come across well. But the streamlining of the piece, on both a plot and prose level, really shone through. While reading it, the fic very much had the feeling of every sentence been sharpened like a scalpel, down to its sharp, bare essentials*. It left the piece feeling very nakedly raw in its emotions, something that actually had thematic context for the eventually reveal of Chrysalis impersonating Sunset – her thoughts would be short and blunt if she's starved of hunger, after all.

Even apart from that, I found the fic really probing and effective. On a story level, it did a marvellous job of gradually peeling back the layers, such that for the first few unusual bits, I assumed (as did many, I'm sure), that it was all just part of your take on Sunset, and it fit the sharp, barbed tone and construction of the prose. Honestly, that makes this a great and absorbing piece long before the reader senses something is really amiss here.

In essence, really great little fic, and I'm super glad you dug it out of its 4+ year grave to give it a second life here. And coming from someone who isn't too fond of either Sunset or Equestria Girls, that probably means more! I can think no reason why anyone who comes across this fic shouldn't read it, even if they normally wouldn't.

I put this fic into my Excellent library, well done! I'm starting to also say what ranking folder I put fics I review into, so the author will always know even after the notification is gone.

* No, I am not envious of those writers who seem to be able to do this effortlessly and have the lack of description work in their favour, why do you ask? :applejackconfused: Just a harmless little ghost still figuring out how to do that himself here, no correlation between the two at all…

Oddly satisfying. I'm not sure how I'd describe it otherwise.

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