XXII: My Gallant Darling
On a lonely hill by the sea where the grass was always green, there, like a planted flower, stood an old tombstone. The rock was once new, smooth and sacred, but years of constant abuse by the weather had worn it down to a wrinkling, crumbling stela.
A lone creature sat in front of the grave, silent with nostalgic memory. Her claws gently brushed off some dirt that had crusted the tombstone’s top, though she knew no amount of effort would ever get rid of that impurity. She casually wondered why she had done that useless act.
Maybe it was to distract her. To allow her some comfort, perhaps. Superficial, but comfort nonetheless.
The sun was setting slowly, its burning tip gracing the water like the hands of a long-lost lover. Hot-blooded reds and cold acidic purples burst forth where sky and sea met. Memories long buried came to life, and nostalgia long forgotten kissed her beak, bringing back tastes she’d neglected since young.
She could see his smile, his bright lime-green eyes. She could hear his laughter.
She could hear him say, “Live on…”
The west wind arose, whispering into her ears and rousing her wing-feathers. “Live on,” it whispered. “Live on.”
“Matilda?” quietly called a voice from behind. She turned. It was Gabriel, carrying a sleeping Tristan on his back. She saw the pain in his dark verdant eyes too.
“Just a few more minutes, dear,” she answered. Gabriel nodded, smiling sadly.
The wind continued its dirge as she turned back to face the tomb. It was like…staring at an old friend. One whom you’ve not seen in years. Like looking into a cosmic mirror, into a past which you once knew, and which is now dead to you. Dark, red, agonized eyes trailed down to the words etched on the stone.
"Hey Sven..." she whispered. "You rest in peace now, don't you?"
Of course, the tombstone didn't answer, but she continued nonetheless.
"You truly were gallant. Brave. Dashing, even."
Each word felt heavier and harder to articulate.
"I have had not sleep...nor fortune...because you've gone away," she mumbled, beginning to water the ground again with raw emotion.
"But I will continue," she said. The wind picked up, as if in agreement, a fresh scent of flowers crashing into her nose. Matilda calmly sucked it in.
"I will live on."
Sad eyes fell onto the poem below. The one she had sung at the funeral. And the same one she had requested to be sculpted onto the stone. To be remembered forever. She eyed the lone magnolia one last time, a forlorn smile etching its way onto her otherwise solemn beak.
"Rest in peace, my gallant darling."
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I thought next chapter was going to be the trial since it would be interesting to hear from Hawkrose perspective.
No, it didn't make me cry, but that's okay--one doesn't have to cry to still feel sad.
Can't say I've ever seen a story change formats during the story before.
This was an enjoyable chapter.
Still have no idea who the sixth character is. Is that next chapter?
Well, that was an unexpected kick in the nu**... er, chest.
I’ve finally caught up with the story, and I’m still impressed with the realism in it. The sadness of the characters, the tragedy, and the uncertainty of the future is very invigorating!
One thing I did see was that many readers became put off by the initial premise. While I myself didn’t expect the rape (You should put a tag warning for this, while you didn’t describe anything explicit (thank Heaven) it’s a very scary thing to put into a story without any heads up) the fact is… these were real conditions that real people went through. While not in boiler rooms these harsh treatments were seen by slaves all around the world for millennia. As an amateur history nerd I was able to see this quite clearly, and I applaud the realism kept throughout.
I honestly expected the ending though tbh, it’s the pretty much the only way to do this kind of fiction without making Equestria the most grim dark place of all time, but I am glad that we got this kind of ending.
As a final note, I’m eagerly awaiting the next chapter. While absent for a couple weeks, I recently came back, and I would love to read more.
11204755
Thanks a lot!
It was not this chapter, but the one before when I realized they were locked in the boiler room.
This chapter doesn't make me sad, it brings more of a sense of peace and conclusion.
The ending was too fast. But, because of the journal format I suppose it must be like that since you can only see what is happening when Eva has words for us... And I appreciate the dedication of staying with it.
But, I feel a transition to real time to help mark the passage of time and the tragedy/injustice of their last few days might hit harder on our sympathies... Forcing us to live with them next to Sven's dead body for days.
I think the news articles were done very well, btw. Even after reading the story it felt like such a tantalizing tidbit of information but with so few details to really understand what was going on... Enough to know Karens everywhere will be utilizing this 'injustice' for their own ends in a completely inappropriate way.
You've captured buzz feed excellently.
No, I did not get wet in the eyes on this chapter. That had already happened. And my heart is satisfied that I got a conclusion this serene and conclusive, if not particularly 'happy'.
... Although now I want to know how Gabriel snagged Matilda! What trials did they live through to forge a relationship in that few year time jump??
I await the sequel. Thanks in advance! ;)
11205083
Its not ending yet. There's still a chapter or two to go.
I'm in sort of a mad rush to finish this story lol
Okay, so I’m back now because the story is now finished. Looks like this was meant as the final chapter all along, which makes sense.
This story was positively outstanding. Dark as all hell, sure, but the diary entries, the worldbuilding, everything really felt like I was reading something straight out of history. I love concepts that lend themselves to different formats, and let me tell you that I’m over the moon that this one actually concluded.
The ending was done really well, especially for breaking out of the format that had led the story for the majority of it, and it looks like my idea of using the journal for evidence was actually done.
This may not be my favorite story on the site, but if I were to say, read it as an audiobook, I’d certainly want to do something special, because this story is special. It’s something I’ll never forget.
A satisfying conclusion to a good story. I applaud the effort put into it and will be following your writing career with great interest.
Very impressive stuff, especially the satisfying ending, just a dark slice of life tale, although the sentence seems a little low when it was such an event even Celestia stepped it.
Very good story, I enjoyed it.
Damn. That was beautifully written, dark...and boy did it hurt...but very good.
A wonderful story I am adding to my collection.
Alright...I'll bite...
Extremely dark and honestly depressing. That said, the characterization of each person through the diary was exquisitely done and I will say so happily. However, the end result of the trial (if one could even call it that) was disappointing in the extreme. Fifty years for a murderer and only five years for a gang of rapists? It's like their actions were being promoted! Such light sentences for such heinous crimes makes me both sick and furious. The emotional trauma alone should have landed those monsters at LEAST a hundred years, to say nothing of the physical scars. Those who perpetrate such acts are lost causes, forever stained by their misdeeds and crimes and through their own actions have attested to their unworthiness to continue existing. Nothing good could ever possibly come from every allowing them to leave prison and be certain if given the chance they would do it again, if not do something far worse. There can be no redemption for such monsters. They should be locked away alone for the remainder of their lives in solitary confinement as examples to others. Let them waste away alone in perpetual darkness until death comes for them.
Seems like Celestia honestly didn't care about these poor slaves. She gave the perps supremely light sentences and just tossed a handful of coins at them then sent them on their way. If I had to guess it was because Blueblood was the white stallion with blond hair who kept screwing Hawkrose and he pushed for light sentences. Either that or she just didn't feel like actually punishing the perps. In any case her actions (or lack thereof) absolutely ooze of apathy.
11209401
u speakin facts💯💯💯
11209401
Just shows the kind of disconnection between the upper class and the commoners right?
Which is why Matilda wasn't impressed. She just accepted because they (her and Gabriel) needed money, and also for the sake of manners.
11209450
I am impressed if that was really what you were going for. Not many things can make me genuinely pissed off, this succeeded. Will there be any sort of true justice or will it just be written off?
11209455
In this case, true justice might manifest in other ways. It is currently unknown how.
This sort of portrays real-life incidents. Something horrible is discovered, news goes hot about it, and "justice" is served, while not much is actually done. There are of course exceptions to this case, and I'm not saying that true justice doesn't exist. But that is kind of the trend in my opinion.
Be aware however that this is my opinion, and is not to be taken too seriously.
As for the rather light sentence, the Equestrian court decided that the rapists were too young to handle a really long sentence, so they basically sentenced them five years in jail and another five years on probation.
11209468
Unfortunately you have the right of it in real life. If you want to see some harsh justice (after a time) then feel free to read my works. Just a suggestion, I won't be upset in the least if you don't want to or feel like it.
11216124
It is.
What happened to the sequel?
11294378
Er, it got cancelled
11294427
Ok
Total cry count: 4
Loved this so much. It was fun to read. Made me think about different things to do in my own writing, and made me feel things about the characters in relatively short amounts of time which is impressive ^.^
11300170
Matilda is a good birb. But then all birbs are good birbs
A decent story, but it feels rushed particularly towards the end. Also, while the diary idea was inspired...at times it feels kind of other-ish, like when Sven mentions Matilda being in bed with a fever, I feel bad for her, but it doesn't quite have the punch of immediacy.
We are told that it's not safe, or fun, or pleasant in the boiler room, but maybe you could describe the stifling hot air the choking coal dust, make us see/live the experience if that makes sense.
Anyway, these are my thoughts, I mean all this in good faith, as I love a good steampunk story, and this feels like it could be more.
11414759
Aw, thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it :D
11300162
Cry count this time: idk, the last four or five chapters continuously