This story is a sequel to Twilight's Duel School of Friendship: Freshman Year
The Student Six are returning to Twililight's School of Friendship and dueling. They were hoping for an easy year compared to their Freshman year. However, that doesn't appear to be the case. An old ancient threat to Equestria returns and aims to continue his plan to shroud Equestria and the world of Duel Monsters in eternal darkness. With the recently brought back Pillars of Equestria, The Student Six will finally be mentored to hone in their element to take on the darkness that is, the Shadows.
(Basic rules of Yugioh, No Link, No Pendulums, 4000 LifePoints.)
Character Decks:
Sandbar: Black Luster Soldier
Smolder: Red-Eyes
Ocellus: Insects
Silverstream: Legendary Ocean
Gallus: Blackwings
Yona: Gladiator Beasts
Chapters that have been updated have (E) next to it
This is looks Amazing and im wish my oc in stories like this at all
Managed to read it all so far.
So what you meant for Spike was he just becomes fodder and is down for nearly the entire story?
11481445
Nope, I already have great plans for him. But at this point I needed him for emotional drama
11481478
Great plans in this fic?
11481480
I think so
11481500
If its just him being quickly taken out for the entire fic and needs rescuing, it will be a huge letdown.
I feel like the drama bit didn't work well because of a few things.
One being he fell to darkness OFF SCREEN, it kind of comes off as rushed.
And felt more rushed since he wasn't a threat for long at all. He went out like fodder.
Along with since not much of other bearers saw him like this lessoned the impact.
And his threat felt messed up since Sandbar show he could have beaten him earlier but "went easy" on him.
And with the way Sandbar beats him comes off as its rubbed in that Spike is screwed since he is not a bearer. Its like destiny rubbed it in Spike's face hard.
I hope this wasn't too negative..
11481512
I actully foreshadowed Spike's coruption in Chapter 3. The same chapter Spike debuted in when helping out with Gizmo, this was at the end of the chapter "Soon all the creatures would also leave the arena, leaving it empty. From a dark corner, a Shadow with bright yellow eyes watches them leave. As soon as they are gone, the shadow seeps out through a window" This was show that the Pony of Shadows was stalking him. I was also taking inspiration from Yugioh GX a bit more with this when Jaden Encountered Alexis's brother Atticus as a Shadow Rider. The way I saw of making it emotional was to use someone they were close, but just like with Atticus, it won't be the last time we see him. He will appear again where he helps the group. But I cannot reveal much as Idon't want to spoil what will come next.
11481523
But it still happening off screen is kind of a problem since we don't see what Spike ends up feeling that led to his fall.
The impact wasn't really felt enough since the Mane 6 did not witness what they caused him to become.
If he is down for the nearly(if not entire) entire conflict with the PoS, that will sting
Was my criticism ok actully?
11481561
Everyone has their opinion, any critisism you have is justified.
I didn't show anyone getting corupted, as I wanted there to be mystery until the reveal. That way there are questions as too who else may be a Shadow Rider. I feel like the mystery of who may be next would be more suspensful
11481645
Though for Spike's case, it probably needed to be shown(or at least a flashback)
Hope we find out who this was soon
Hmm, a bit wonkily paced compared to the previous beginning, but mostly it works out, as we, the readers, are likely to be familiar with the MLP stuff being referenced, allowing you to skim that rather than doing it as a deep dive, as our interest, and that of the Student 6 would be focused elsewhere, mostly on the non-pony related stuff as the other races would hardly be interesting in the Pillars beyond academic studies, and...well that means only Ocellus, though Sandbar probably knows about them.
That said, it does a good enough job of setting up how the status quo is going to work this time, with a villain that is already loose, but not one that can directly counter at this point, especially since the adults should be handling this, as they are both able to, and are aware of the threat, unlike the Light of Destruction, the GX counterpart, which was pretty much on the downlow for most people. Still love its the one villain in the whole franchise to be challenged to a duel...and then ask why it would agree to that.
Like, even interdimensional conquers, future tyrants, and what was basically a demon god ALL wanted to play children's card games when offered the chance. But the energy being from beyond the stars? Screw your cards, I'm evil.
All in all, a nice beginning.
Seeing how a few Shadow Riders were allowed to score a win but Spike as one couldn't feels awkward..
11486362
Because he is not meant to be one. You will see later on.
11486369
Kind of confused on that.
11486442
Just wait, it will be explained.
11486445
How much later on?
11486494
Quite a bit, it will take some time before we get there
11486499
So in a few chapters or more?
I feel Like yonas next to be targeted as roofhoof was Strength and Apple Jack's honesty. She's the last of the honesty group. Not only that's she's one of the weaker school 6
Okay, neat rotational dueling here, and showing off some returning bits of strategy, but also showing how the characters have evolved with three months to adapt and grow after the events of the Freshmen Year Finale. Good to see they took the lessons learned their on board, and not everything was a direct reversal of what happened previously when they went head to head, instead giving each one a moment to shine and show off their skills. Yona ends up on bottom, as her deck theme is all defense, no offense for the most part. That can work as a strategy, but isn't the typical game winner others would get up to.
I do like too, that Sandbar is not the overall winner. It would have been really easy, what with this being a GX themed fic, to simply position him as the Jaden stand in, who won't lose ever again in this series for various reasons. He'll come close, to be fair, be he won't really lose again because he's cheating...well okay, not 'cheating' especially not when compared to Zexal's Destiny Draw or 5D's whole, I'm making up new summoning methods on the fly, but still, Duel Spirits were his gimmick, and they gave him magic destiny powers that only like 3 other people in the series ever got. This season also got him cards from space.
Anyway, good stuff, looking forward to more.
Okay, showing that one of the 'bad guys' from season one has indeed improved as well, but simply not as much as the Student Six, so he still loses. Good reference to Chazz with the Ojama deck too, as it's not a deck type you see played often anymore than the Elemental Heroes due to the gimmicky nature of the set. Still, if you CAN make it work, it works really well, as shown here, as it has abilities that counter other sorts of play directly in ways not many other decks do. It's just hard to get them all out on the field at once, and their being individually weak means its a dangerous gambit without some trick up your sleeve.
All that said, keeping Brisk's focus on dragons, while showing Chazz' deck as a background one was a good call, reminding us of who he was inspired by, without making him beholden to it anymore. That and he had a natural reaction to losing. It sucks, but he goes no farther than that. Never did get why they kept treating 'The Chazz' like crap for losing to Jaden, and ONLY to Jaden, as he won most of his other duels we see the whole thing for. Similar to Sylvio from 5D's, who WON against the final boss...before he cheated like I said in a comment on the previous fic.
Anyway, good start, and shipping is apparently happening. Curious to see who's Gallus' crush.
Not much to say here, I see you introduced Spike, neat to see, and Gizmo too. Also nice to see that the Student Six's parents are still active in their lives...for those with them, and that Sandbar has been getting support. Curious if he told him about the vision under the school. Probably not, as that would be one heck of an awkward conversation to start and finish. Still, overall, a good bit of fluff to help introduce someone into the cast for later, though now that I think about it...does this setting HAVE the Egyptian God cards? And if so, are they called that, or like, Gods of the Other World or something?
Okay, that was adorable...also very much true. We know dragons, if they live long enough, grow to be far larger than the others in this setting, and heck, can do so at certain points in their lives using the greatest magic of all...GREED! Anyway getting back to this, I do like the setup and pay off, and interesting to see them in some down time, not specifically about the school studies, but instead about simply living at the school. Diet is one of those things the show avoided a LOT in terms of the students and other species. Heck, I think we all remember Fluttershy giving the basket of plants to the obligate carnivores during one of the early episodes. I'm glad the comics eventually had her point out that not ALL her animal friends ate plants though.
Still, good stuff, and I do like that they still helped to clean up, as even though it was not her intention to cause it, it was still her fault. Excellent character bit.
11487581
You call Yona weak? Yaks not weak! Yaks strong!(Mostly just having a bit of fun with word play, I personally agree that her deck theme is probably the one that has the least chance of winning in a pro match)
11487643
I was waiting for a comment like this. I kinda wanted to make up my own kind of story without reusing in show plots. That's why instead of the sacred beasts and the god cards that are said to be the most powerful cards in the game, I used the Dragon Rulers to make my own story more unique. But I do have them in this fic as powerful cards, the dorms are still named after the gods. and I know I have written a few throw away lines about these cards where the students say something along the lines "I heard those cards were pretty powerful." But other than that they still exist in this fic, but I wanted to make my own story by using other cards and decks.
11487581
11487646
Literally had to learn it as I went.
Slight confession I would like to make, When comming up with the decks for the student six, I wanted to base it off a bit more on their personality. So when I got to yona, Gladiator Beasts just fit her in a certain way... but i'm not to familiar with the deck
11487743
That is in no way a problem. The fact that the Dorms are still named for them says they're pretty important though, so it's a natural thought to have. The big problem is that renaming the dorms would have meant explaining why, so I can understand not wanting to, it does leave the question there in universe to how much they know about them, and what they call them given there's no Egypt in this world, but instead the unnamed nation from that Daring Do episode.
11487749
Ah, that would explain that. It's a fine deck for a theme based thing, the problem with the G-Beasts are they're defensive cards mostly, designed to keep each other in the fight for longer, and wait for the opponent to get a bad draw so you can toast them. In tournaments, that's not as likely to happen, as most decks don't have 'bad' draws per say, and instead have less fortunate ones, as each one has a part in the strategy. It does well against burners, because of that, as it's a natural counter, but the Horde type decks do better in more situations so you see it used more.
I suppose toon works, and if he's going to be in a single chapter with his deck, it's easier to use an existing archetype and known deck rather than assembling one based off 'chaos' as a criteria. Would have been neat though to see him use cards that have various effects based off what the opponent has played. I can think of 3 monsters and 4 spell cards that fit that, but again, it would have been a load of work, and this fits too, especially given he's supposed to be playing 'fair' with the students, and not hitting them with something truly unbeatable.
Nice work, and he fits in with the staff as is.
Only one soul?
11487641
5Ds?
Don't you mean Arc-V?
just gonna say it starswirl is my least favorite character in all mlp, I mean every thing he does to get rid of a problem just creates more strife, fitting that he'd use dragoon my least favorite dark magician card
11489012
"Dragoon my least favorite dark Magician card"
Them's fightin words right there buddy! lol jk
There goes starswirl choosing the most drastic measure over trying to find a safer way
Okay, not much to say here either. The trick was easy to see coming, and there is a reason to hit someone with an unbeatable opponent. Heck, that's forms the basis of a whole movie in Star Trek, and several novels have dealt with it. The Kobiyashi Maru. That said, it is also good that she doesn't give up, and does come close to winning too, to show she does have skills and willpower, given, for all that Sandbar was the one to beat Cozy the with the Dragon Rulers deck, she was the one to beat her when she was using her own.
11488889
I do actually.
Huh, nice stuff, good to see the most minor antagonist from the prior group of 'villains' is remembered, and still has skills. Again, like Brisk, she's improved since previous, though her whole deck and strategy is one that will win on the flip of a coin, rather than luck of the draw or strategy. To be fair, some people like that. There's a reason most don't give rerolls on dice in Table Top, and will allow a character to fade away into death if the dice are simply not with them.
But what about the third way to save them. What would it be if it won't show u later
11489765
it will be relevent again later on.
does this mean spike has the gentle darkness now
No!
We've now lost Fluttershy. Discord's gonna be furious.
( I'm finally reacting to this Yu-Gi-Oh story. But, I only read the the recent chapters. )
So firstly, dangit! Why do they take the second option!!?? They didn't even hear about the third and last option yet?
Don't they remember the warning from last chapter!?
Even IF they defeat the Shadow Pony. I doubt the Shadows will free the rest of them. And pissing them off is a bad idea for their souls.
( P.S. Starswirl didn't even apologize to Spike for antagonizing him, and didn't let him explain himself first. )
11490666
The third option will become relevant later on, it's a mystery
Yeah, because Starswirl is a dick, that's why lol.
11490691
What about the Shadow problem? Don't they remember the warning?
11490748
Yes. that's why they only rescued one
Great chapter and I love how well written each chapter you make are
11491311
Thank you so much! I'm really glad you like them!
Great. There's goes an insurance.
Just one soul, huh. I was thinking they'd probably choose Applejack, to at least even the groups out, but then I wondered... They're probably gonna bring back Spike. He might know something about the Shadows.
11491326
No problem and I been thinking of writing out my own yugioh crossover too but can't figure out how to write it our I already got the idea of the story down just trying to figure how to write it 😅