Spike was starting to wish that Twilight hadn’t given him the task of dusting her personal collection of books while she was helping out Fluttershy. It wasn’t that he had a problem with performing such a menial chore; Twilight asked him to do boring stuff for her all the time. Neither was the job particularly difficult. No, the problem was that the unicorn’s personal library was located in her bedroom, where a gray stallion was currently sprawled out on the guest bed.
Of course, Spike was well aware that Pencil Pusher needed to sleep—Twilight had explained quite unambiguously that the bureaucrat had been overworked to exhaustion over the past twenty-four hours, and that he was not to be disturbed. However, all the sympathy in the world couldn’t make his sleep-talking any less distracting.
“Urnh... nyerfacegrig....”
Spike cringed, partly due to the pegasus’ bizarre muttering, but mostly because looking at the stallion’s face allowed him to clearly make out the damp spot of drool on the pillow next to the corner of his mouth that bore an uncanny resemblance to an irritated squid. The young dragon wrenched his attention away from the sight and returned it to Twilight Sparkle’s 17-volume Concise Encyclopedia of Magic.
August 31 – 5:47 PM
Fluttershy briefly wondered if asking Manny Roar for help had been such a good idea. She kept forgetting that many ponies (and, more relevantly at the moment, donkeys) seemed to be much more uncomfortable than she was around creatures whose adorability was slightly less obvious than, say, a tarantula. In particular, Douglas Fir seemed rather unenthusiastic about the prospect of guiding a wild manticore through his forest, even with the promise of Fluttershy’s presence to make sure everything went smoothly.
That said, Mr. Fir soon accepted that procrastination wasn’t really an option here, and before long he was moving briskly through the groves, marking the trees to be felled with a piece of chalk. For his part, Manny seemed to be enjoying himself, as the novelty of attacking trees who made no effort to fight back was an interesting change of pace. All he had to do was make sure to leave the logs in the open, so the unicorns could levitate them to the designated loading area. All the while, Fluttershy kept up her conversation with the manticore, to ensure that Manny’s good mood stayed in place until the job was finished—grumpy manticores had an unfortunate tendency to act on antisocial impulses, after all. Things seemed to be going okay for the first few minutes, but Fluttershy couldn’t shake the feeling that there were going to be unforeseen complications in the plan.
She was right.
August 31 – 5:58 PM
“Uh, Ms. Sparkle?”
Twilight was a bit startled to hear somepony addressing her so formally, but she quickly brushed this off. “Yes? Is there something wrong?” she asked, keeping her eyes fixed on the chunks of wood that she was efficiently layering in a cart.
“I’m not sure,” the unknown stallion’s voice replied. “But, well, since you’re in charge, I thought you might want to know about this.”
Twilight sighed and set down her load. “First of all,” she said turning to face a unicorn stallion with a milk-chocolate coat and a wavy white mane, “I’m not in charge. That would be Fluttershy.”
“But she isn’t here, though.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll take a look, um... I’m sorry, what was your name again?”
“Mochaccino.”
“Really? I thought you were a pegasus.”
“No, you’re thinking of my cousin, Macchiato.”
“I see. Well, what was it you needed to show me?”
The stallion nervously dragged one of his front hooves across the soil. “Um, well, I was wondering if all this wood was supposed to be green.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“The wood. A lot of it’s green, presumably because that lion-thing just tore it out of the ground. I’ve done enough camping to know that green wood tends to make a lot of smoke, and I was wondering if that was really a good idea. You know, because we’re trying to stop a fog, after all.”
“I’m... not too sure about that, actually.” Twilight couldn’t think of a reason why smoke would be an issue, but then again, the fact that green wood didn’t burn with as much heat might be more important. She was fairly certain that the bonfires should be as hot as possible, but on the other hoof—
“Hey!” came a familiar drawling yell. “What’s the hold-up?” Applejack had a rather annoyed expression on her face as she trotted up to the the two unicorns. “We gotta keep this movin’ or Rainbow Dash is liable to take off that suit just so she can start pullin’ her mane out.”
“There’s a potential issue with the wood. I don’t know if Fluttershy fully considered that we’d be using green wood when she approved the plan.”
“And you’re suggestin’ we shut the whole thing down because of it?”
“No, of course not. I’m saying that we don’t know if it will be worthwhile to change the plan in order to let the weather team build ideal bonfires.”
The apple farmer narrowed her eyelids skeptically. “Sounds like splittin’ hairs to me.”
Twilight eyes flitted around nervously before she made her decision. “I’m going to talk to Fluttershy. Just hold up for a little bit, and then we’ll get back underway.”
Applejack, however, had her doubts about this course of action. “‘Twi, it ain’t like we got a lot of time to get this done,” she said with more than a hint of exasperation in her voice. “Fussin’ over details ain’t gonna help, especially since that ain’t your job this time.”
“I know, but I really think we should get Fluttershy’s approval one way or the other before moving forward.”
“Um,” Mochaccino said nervously, “we could always just keep things going while you talk to her. I mean, green firewood’s still better than no firewood, right?” He seemed very self-conscious as he made the suggestion, if only because he was the one who’d made this an issue in the first place.
Apparently, this idea had not occurred to the perfectionist unicorn. “Huh? Oh, uh, right. You guys keep doing that while I talk to Fluttershy.” Twilight started galloping towards the forest, pausing only to call out, “Don’t worry! I’ll get back here as soon as I can!”
Mochaccino glanced over at Applejack. “Uh, is she always that... tense?”
“Nah,” the farmer replied as she idly fanned herself with her hat. “Usually, it’s worse.”
August 31 – 6:03 PM
Admittedly, Lyra hadn’t really expected very much from Pinkie’s proposal in the short term; she figured that the best-case scenario was that maybe a half-dozen or so ponies would return after they attended their initial meeting. However, when she took her first break from loading firewood onto carts, the amateur cryptozoologist was pleasantly surprised to learn that some of the volunteers were already taking the idea of SPHERE seriously, and she soon found herself explaining the group’s ideals to a small group of unicorns, although some (most notably, Lyra’s dentist, Minuette) were still a bit skeptical.
“Are you sure that you and Bon-Bon are even talking about the same creatures?” the blue unicorn asked. “She makes them sound like parasprites, only less adorable and more prone to violence.”
“Ah, well, I’d say that’s really more of a case of cynicism getting in the way of common sense. You see,” Lyra explained, “Bon-Bon and I actually agree that any humans we meet will almost certainly be formidable fighters, but where she gets hung up on how this constitutes a threat, I’m worried that unscrupulous ponies will force them to fight against our enemies.”
“But... Equestria doesn’t have any enemies,” Minuette replied with an exasperated edge to her voice.
“And if our military is supplemented by big, scary-looking humans who are being pressured to look mean and nasty, it’ll probably stay that way.”
“You don’t really think the Princesses would do that, though, do you?” asked a reddish-brown unicorn whom Lyra didn’t recognize.
“Well, no, not really,” she replied. “But they wouldn’t have to be part of the official military. A few wealthy ponies could make them into a sort of private military company, which they could then hire out to other parts of the world, starting a whole new war economy.”
“But how would anypony force them to do something like that?” asked a pudgy beige stallion whom Lyra hadn’t even noticed joining her audience.
Lyra had to pause for a bit before she could think of an answer to that question. “I think I read something about microscopic machines that are powered by magic being developed in a lab somewhere. Since humans have no experience resisting the effects of magic, they could just inject them into their bloodstream and use that to keep track of them and control them.”
“That... that sounds horrifying!” some voice near the back of the crowd called out.
“I know!” Lyra replied. She was starting to get into that splendid righteously-indignant groove that made activism feel so wonderful. “The poor creatures would be like puppets, doing the bidding of greedy industrialists who would throw them away like cannon fodder, instead of convincing them to do nice things like using those adorable fingers to give everypony deep tissue massages... with those magnificent opposable thumbs kneading out all the kinks that you can’t quite work out with hooves....” The mint green unicorn trailed off as a small droplet of saliva formed in one of the corners of her half-open smile.
Her audience members, however, seemed to be more concerned with potential abuses. “That’s terrible!” — “How can they do something like that?!” — “And here I thought you two were the nutjobs!” — “We need to let everypony know about this....”
Lyra heard all of this, but it only half-registered in her brain, which was still hovering around daydreams of hands rubbing that one spot on her withers that the spa ponies never seemed to quite get to.
“Hey, Lyra!”
The unicorn snapped to attention as an irritated voice called out her name. Break time was over, apparently, and Minuette was staring at her with a rather impatient look on her face. “Sorry! I’ll be right there.”
August 31 – 6:06 PM
“Well, I agree that Ronald is a very nice name, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore the opinions of the ladycores in your pride.”
“Roooaaarrr!!”
“Oh, they’re called baricos? I didn’t know that. You learn something new every day, I suppose.”
Douglas Fir wasn’t exactly sure what to make of the rather bizarre dialogue that the local fog specialist was having with “Mr. Roar,” which was why he was relieved when a lavender unicorn galloped up to them and started a new conversation that he was actually capable of following... sort of.
“Fluttershy! Green wood! Smoke! Fog! Bad, maybe!”
The pegasus wrinkled her eyebrows in concern. “Um, Twilight, maybe you should take a few deep breaths and try again.”
Twilight nodded, and after a few seconds of controlled breathing, she had regained her ability to speak in complete sentences. “Fluttershy, will using green wood to make the bonfires be a problem?”
Fluttershy would have answered, but the sound of a hoof hitting a skull interrupted her. “Argh!” Mr. Fir shouted in frustration. “I can’t believe I forgot about that! I’m sorry, Ms. Fluttershy. In all the excitement about making such a large sale, I forgot to mention that I’d only have lower quality merchandise available. I assure you, you’ll get a discount.”
“Oh, um, thank you. But why is green wood not as good? I mean, flora aren’t really my area of interest...”
“More smoke, and the flames aren’t as hot,” Twilight said. “That might be a problem.”
Fluttershy nodded. “You’re probably right. I’m not sure what the smoke might do, but we definitely want the fires burning as hot as possible. Um, do you know any spells to make the green wood, well, not-green?”
“Let me think about that for a bit. Hmm... I’d need a way to dry the sap....” Twilight mentally flipped through her catalogue of spells, and soon lit upon one that seemed promising. “There is a particular spell used to magically fire pottery when an actual kiln is unavailable. If I tone down the intensity, I might be able to dry the sap quickly without actually igniting the wood.”
“There’s a spell that can do that?” Douglas Fir asked. “How come none of the unicorns I hire for seasonal work ever mention it?”
“Well, for one thing, it wasn’t originally intended for forestry, so it probably wouldn’t occur to many unicorns that it could be adapted that way. For another, it requires a fairly powerful magic user, and unless one of the local unicorns has a pottery cutie mark, I’m probably the only one who could pull it off with any regularity.”
Fluttershy nodded. “Do you think you could try doing it, though?”
“Probably... but I’d need all my concentration, which means I wouldn’t be able to oversee the other unicorns.”
“Oh, um, okay. Do you think Rarity would mind taking your place, then?”
“Hey, we’re here to help you however we can, Fluttershy. I’m sure she won’t have a problem.”
The pegasus let out a sigh of relief. “That’s good. You’d better get back to the base and let everypony know about the change.”
“Right... speaking of which, at what point in the process should I actually dry the wood out? Before loading, or during the loading process?”
“Um, I’ll leave that decision up to you. You’ll have a better idea of how to use it effectively.”
Twilight nodded and galloped off, leaving Fluttershy to mull over the conversation for a few seconds before the silence was interrupted by an ear-splitting roar. Fluttershy looked back at the manticore, who was leaning against an unusually thick pine. “Actually, Manny, I think Emile is a perfectly fine name for a male cub.”
August 31 – 6:13 PM
Admittedly, Bon-Bon hadn’t expected very much to come from Pinkie’s proposal in the short term; she figured that the best-case scenario was that maybe a half-dozen or so ponies would return after they attended their initial meeting, assuming that the humans hadn’t razed Ponyville to the ground by then. That said, the conversations she had with the other earth ponies when she took her breaks seemed to be reason enough for cautious optimism; before today, most ponies would do little more than roll their eyes when she brought up the impending threat, but now, there were at least a few who wanted some more information before making up their minds.
“So, how exactly would these humans get here?” asked a muscular blue stallion whom Bon-Bon had occasionally seen walking outside her shop.
“Have you ever heard of the legend of the Rainbow Bridge?”
“Not really,” the stallion replied. “Never paid much attention in school.”
“Oh. Well, the Rainbow Bridge is really more like a series of bridges said to link Equestria to countless other worlds. Some of them are inhabited by ponies like us, but a lot of them lead to nightmarish dystopias, with nothing but bleakness, strife, and other really unpleasant things.”
“Dystopia? I think my cousin came down with that once. Didn’t come out of the outhouse for a full day.”
“Uh, that’s not what the word means,” Bon-Bon said, doing her best to suppress the dry heaves forming in her throat, “but metaphorically speaking, it still works. Naturally, the humans come from one of the bad places.”
“But what could they possibly want in Equestria?” asked a tan mare named Ambrosia who Bon-Bon had occasionally seen working on construction crews in town.
“What wouldn’t they want? We have magic, we have the ability to control the weather, and we’re the best farmers in existence, and they can’t do any of that! Well, maybe the last one, but definitely not as well as we can. Those who can’t perform those services for them will no doubt be enslaved and forced to pacify their demonic offspring with our colorful coats and easily-styled manes. They may even force us to let the little monsters ride us!”
“Um, well, that actually doesn’t sound all that bad,” Ambrosia replied. “I mean, it’s obviously not very good, but I think I could live with it if I had to.”
“Did I forget to mention that they’ll probably try to breed us to bring out the genetic traits they find most desirable?”
This produced a rather different reaction from the construction worker: “Urgh... what?! That’s disgusting! I’m not going to sleep around just to make a naked sasquatch happy!” The other ponies crowding around Bon-Bon seemed to agree with this sentiment; ponies could handle breeding perfectly well on their own, thank you very much.
The candymaker smiled to herself. It seemed that her ideas were finally getting some respect. All that was left was to present her full argument for the existence, which she would soon be able to back up with nice, solid evidence scrounged from the first wave of human invaders—
“Hey!” Applejack shouted as she cantered over to the group. “We ain’t got time fer lollygaggin’, folks. Move out!”
August 31 – 6:20 PM
As she flew back and forth between the various fire pits, Rainbow Dash was growing increasingly irritated. The fog was moving steadily closer, but if anything, the bonfires were starting to die down. “Come on, guys!” she shouted as she landed next to Thunderlane, Flitter, and Cloudchaser and their embarrassingly mediocre conflagration. “This thing needs to be at least 20% hotter, and soon.”
“I know, Boss,” Thunderlane replied, “but it’s kind of difficult to get the fire going when we have to keep rationing our firewood. I thought we were supposed to get a continuous supply.”
Rainbow Dash paused for a few seconds before answering, “We were. Something must have gotten messed up. Okay, you just work on making this fire better for now. I’ll talk to the other teams.”
“And what about the firewood?”
Rainbow Dash smirked and whistled six notes in an upbeat melody.
“Sir, yes sir, what do you need, sir, ma’am sir?!”
The three pegasi tending the fire jumped into the air as Pinkie Pie popped out from behind their superior, clad in green fatigues and standing at attention—which was kind of impressive, given the earth pony’s notoriously short attention span. Rainbow Dash, unlike her underlings, showed no surprise whatsoever, and quickly explained the situation to her. “The firewood’s running low. Go find Fluttershy and see if this can be fixed.”
“Okie dokie lokie, sir!” Pinkie Pie gave her friend a crisp salute and began bounding down the mountain path.
August 31 – 6:32 PM
Fluttershy paced back and forth as Pinkie Pie finished telling her the news. The whole plan was spiraling into chaos, and it was only a matter of time before the Equestrian Revenue Service hauled her away. Really, the only reason she hadn’t started screaming and flailing about in a blind panic was the near certainty that this would bother Mr. Roar, and it just wasn’t right to upset such a sweet, innocent creature. Perhaps I should head north. After all, there aren’t many ponies living in the Crystal Mountains, and it’s not like a whole civilization is going to pop into existence overnight. Fluttershy would have continued speculating about how she could acquire a new parka in the summer without drawing attention to herself, but a cheerful, upbeat voice intruded on her thoughts.
“Of course, what’s really lucky is that I think I figured out what’s causing the slowdown on my way down. Ooh... I think there might be a good song lyric in that last sentence. Maybe if I can incorporate the word ‘down’ in the beginning part...”
“Um, Pinkie? You, er, were saying about the firewood?”
“Calm down,” the earth pony replied, though in an oddly neutral tone that sounded like neither a request nor a command.
“I... I’m perfectly calm,” Fluttershy responded, feeling quite confused. She certainly thought she was acting appropriately even-keeled, given the situation. After all, she was talking to a lovable forest creature, and there were few things more relaxing than that. “Why wouldn’t I be?” she finally asked.
“Huh? Oh, sorry, I was still thinking about ‘down.’ Basically, some of the ponies are debating whether humans are going to be bad or good, and they’re getting distracted, and that’s slowing them down, and slowing down the ponies behind them, and the ponies behind them, and the ponies behind those ponies—”
“I see,” Fluttershy interrupted. She didn’t have very much patience for a Pinkie Pie feedback loop at the moment. “I suppose Lyra and Bon-Bon are behind this.”
“Yeah, probably. They both like talking about humans, and they don’t seem to get many chances to do it with ponies who are actually interested in what they have to say.”
Fluttershy sighed. “I guess I’ll have to talk with them about this. And have Rarity and Applejack crack down on other ponies doing it, too.”
“Ooh! ‘Crack down!’ I need to remember that one.”
This seemed reasonably close to an acknowledgement of what Fluttershy had actually said, so she decided to continue. “Would you mind keeping Manny and Mr. Fir company for a bit? I need to get this sorted out.”
“You betcha!”
Fluttershy sighed again as she walked out of the forest. She hated lecturing others about their mistakes. It just felt so... mean-spirited, especially since her big mistake was so much worse.
August 31 – 6:52 PM
Rainbow Dash smiled as the bonfires’ flames began climbing once again. She could now feel the heat from the fires while hovering twenty trots over them, which meant that the fires themselves were probably starting to make life really unpleasant for the ponies who had to tend to them. For the briefest of moments, Rainbow Dash considered flying down to base camp to learn just what had gone wrong, but she soon changed her mind. She could get all the answers she wanted later; right now, she had a job to do, and that job was to keep the fires going. With only an hour or so before the fog was due to arrive, now was not the time to slack off.
The pegasus’ silver fog suit glittered in the descending sun as she stared at the white mass that had blotted out the entire northern horizon. Definitely getting close, now. After mulling her options, she made a decision. “Okay, everypony!” she yelled out at the top of her lungs. “Fog suits on!”
This was met either with groans from the weather team, or blatant attempts to pretend that the order had not been heard. Rainbow Dash sped down the line of bonfires to ensure that the latter of these couldn’t be used as an excuse, giving orders and dispensing advice as needed along the way. “Yeah, I know it’s hot, but you’re going to want to get them on right now. Trust me. And remember to stay hydrated! The last thing we need right now is for one of you guys to pass out.”
Once that was done, the blue pegasus flew back to the fog bank to make sure nothing unexpected was happening.
August 31 – 7:29 PM
“Well, that should just about do it. Nice getting to know you, Manny.” Fluttershy smiled as she heard the donkey’s farewell. Douglas Fir had really seemed to warm up to the manticore over the past hour and a half, and just as importantly, the manticore seemed to reciprocate the attitude.
“Roaarrrrrrr!!”
“Er, what did he say?” the donkey asked Fluttershy.
“Oh, um, ‘So long,’ more or less,” she answered.
It really was quite satisfying, in a way. Manny Roar had harvested more than enough trees to keep the bonfires going for a few hours by the salesdonkey’s reckoning, and because they had outpaced the unicorns charged with loading up carts, a huge stockpile of firewood now sat outside of the cabin, all dried by Twilight Sparkle and ready for use.
As she watched the manticore walk back towards the Everfree forest, Fluttershy felt an overwhelming sense of relief wash over her. Other than the slowdown from the impromptu human debates, there hadn’t been any major hiccups. Granted, dealing with Lyra and Bon-Bon hadn’t been pleasant—they initially reacted to her relatively mild scolding by trying to justify their actions, which had lead to shouting, and when the shouting only lead to counter-shouts, Fluttershy had been forced to break out The Stare. She didn’t like using The Stare on other ponies; it felt like cheating, and some ponies... well, some ponies had more severe reactions to it than others. Maybe I should bring Bon-Bon some cookies later...
In any case, Applejack and Rarity had the unicorns and earth ponies functioning so flawlessly that Twilight hadn’t felt any need to return to overseeing the unicorns when she’d finished drying all of the firewood. “Well,” Fluttershy said, “it seems like the worst is over.”
“My dear, you should never, ever say that sort of thing out loud,” responded the polished voice of Mayor P. Diane Mare, somewhat startling Fluttershy, who hadn’t realized that anypony was listening to her.
“Why not?” the pegasus asked.
“Because irony has a way of creeping into life when you least expect it,” the politician answered. “Apparently, the universe enjoys toying with ponies.” It sort of sounded like a joke, but Fluttershy noticed that the older mare’s mouth was rigidly fixed in a neutral expression. “Case in point: there’s a group of ponies from out of town who are making their way here from my office even as we speak, and they are very interested in talking to you.”
Fluttershy let out a high-pitched squeal of panic. “Oh no! Is it... Is it the ERS?”
“Worse,” replied the Mayor in her most solemn tone of voice. “It’s the media.”
heh. Hands.
Do I spy with my little eye a reference to Metal Gear Solid?
Also... The bit with dystopia... Beautiful.
And finally... No one has realized the fog isn't like the usual fog... The Mayor's... Premonition, I suppose, wil come true soon enough....
~Skeeter The Lurker
Okay, I just loved Lyra and Bon-Bon bits. Thanks to Lyra, Metal Gear Solid 4: Pony Edition will never come to pass, and Bon-Bon has started an anti-shipping movement.
And poor Flutters, she really should know better than to invoke dramatic irony. Now she has to face THE PRESS.
Well, at least she didn't say "I am invincible". *gets hit by a dehydrated pegasus falling out of the sky*
Yep. The moment the media shows up, everything goes straight to Tartarus.
: All questions should be directed to my PR assistant, Manny Roar. Go on, ask him your questions. He's quite friendly when he's full!
The... media?
cdn2.funnycorner.net/funny-pictures/5775/You-re-so-fucked.jpg
Content is NSFW for wanton use of vulgarity. Do not view if you happen to be easily offended by what constitutes thirty percent of the internet.
2425272 "Anti-shipping movement"? I hadn't caught that one. Good job, sir/madam.
*notices MGS4 reference* I see what you did there.
Where does "barico" come from?
Someone confusing "dystopia" and "diarrhea" made me giggle.
2425380 - Actually, I hadn't caught it either...
2425382 - According to my prereaders, "barico" is the Greek word for "manticore" (which is Latin in origin). Also, the dystopia thing was getting confused with dysentery.
Oh dear. The evening news.
Wait, there is a big bonfire going. SOLUTION!
Ah-ha I kid. Kinda.
I wonder what the CMC are up to.
I like seeing Fluttershy handle being in charge so well. And seeing the Mane 6 in general acting so competently. Too many stories where at least one is acting like a nincompoop.
I for one welcome our pony overlords.
Or are they welcoming their new human overlords?
How about we meet in the middle, share some hot cocoa, and dispense some indiscriminate ear scritches (humans) and nuzzles (ponies)?
So, SPHERE will have two wings now: Anti-Human and Pro-Human. I'm sure they can settle things in a calm and rational manner.
And the Mayor is right! She is! It's not just in fiction, it's in real life, too! NEVER underestimate Irony, for she is a cruel b***h with a sick sense of humor.
2425380>>2425419 Well, what with the whole "humans pairing ponies up to suit their own desires" thing, that's just what sprang to my mind.
Oh no, not The Media! Anything but that!
They're going to save the town from the fog, and them destroy it in a massive pro/anti human riot, aren't they.
I wonder how the downsides of unicorn dried wood are going to crop up. Increased explosiveness?
After all, there aren’t many ponies living in the Crystal Mountains, and it’s not like a whole civilization is going to pop into existence overnight.
I don't see what you mean at all
Has anypony thought to bring cooking oil or something to aid the fires?
How is it that a story about rogue fog, of all things, is so damn gripping?
All I can do is commend you, sir.
Great chapter, loved the parts with Lyra and Bon-Bon and how they mirror images of each other
Looking forward to more SPHERE antics, as well as to the media storm
Good luck Flutters!
Well, Fluttershy has prior experience with the media. This shouldn't go too badly, right?
Oh ho ho. The pressure's really going to be on with the media covering Fluttershy if she fails.
Also, I get the odd feeling that the CMC's traps are going to be interpreted as "evidence" of humans, and that this whole thing will elevate SPHERE to the national level. I sure hope so, at any rate.
God, when you said that Rainbow whistled for Pinkie in six, upbeat notes...the only tune that came to mind was Jack's Winter Whistle from the old Jack Frost movie. Back in the days of The Year Without a Santa Claus and that sort of animation style. Thank you for bringing me this level of nostalgia; I've really needed it as of late.
Yeah, the mayor seems a bit more genre-savvy than Flutters. Either benefit of longer experience, or a little pinch of the Sense, perhaps.
2426904 - "My name is Pinkie Pie..."
Oh Celestia, not the media! Anything but that!!!
I'm thinking the six upbeat notes Dash whistles to call Pinkie are "Gig-gle at the ghost-y".
Great!
Foreboding Spike-cleaning is foreboding.
All I can say is that IT'S STARTING TO GO DOWN
In the next chapter:
"Fluttershy was last seen flying at near supersonic speeds crossing the border of Equestria to the north, nopony has yet been able to catch her,. Not even Rainbow Dash." Mayor Mare addressing the press.
I'm kidding I'm sure she'll be fine... mostly.
Normally the Fourth Estate only shows up after all the destruction is over, with their own superb ideas on just exactly how the process was screwed up, and how much better it would have been if it were done *this* way. At which point, the experts sigh and carefully get out of camera range before they say something or hit somebody.
2427097 I wonder if it's a tune six notes long or if it has a range of six notes.
2427097
While I stand corrected...still an awesome image, either way.
media.tumblr.com/bdb1f420d68fa2144b33ae52843588ae/tumblr_inline_mh7s67CkaR1qz4rgp.gif
*last line*
[youtube=h9hg0uMwUrI]
"Perhaps I should head north. After all, there aren’t many ponies living in the Crystal Mountains, and it’s not like a whole civilization is going to pop into existence overnight."
Uh, everyone here is willing to debate that thought with you, Fluttershy.
I actually thought about the potential problems of green wood a number of chapters back, but had gotten under the impression that you were overlooking it for the sake of telling the story.
2425359
This has nothing to do with the chapter I just read, but I have to say it.
That picture is the best thing ever. That's, like, the best thing I've ever seen in my entire life.
2430435 - Actually, I had been trying to think of complications that might give Fluttershy the chance to show that she knows what she's doing (i.e., that she can make good decisions and effectively delegate her authority). I really had overlooked the green wood issue until you pointed it out, which for my purposes demonstrated that it was a problem that could have been believably overlooked in the initial planning.
2431135
Glad to be of service. Having gigabytes of image macros has to be useful at some point, right?
THE MEDIA?!
"She kept forgetting that many ponies [...] seemed to be much more uncomfortable than she was around creatures whose adorability was slightly less obvious than, say, a tarantula."
Fluttershy x Hagrid OTP
It is not Metal Gear Solid reference, but Metal Gear Rising!
NANOMACHINES, son!
So, Lyra Kojima, a three-ring media circus, Mayor Mare on the perversity of the universe, and...
Did Dash summon Pinkie with Epona's Song?
...2427097
Oh. So that's a no. Darn. I like my theory.
In any case, fantastic chapter. I look forward to seeing in which ways everything will go horribly, hilariously wrong.
burning it with a flame thrower would be too kind... (i don't like spiders...)
~someone is going to be bullied in the future
great chapter.
Potentially debatable, Bon-Bon. In terms of quantity? Maybe. In terms of quality... yeah, okay, Equestrians definitely would take that one.
I finally caught up with this story by reading ten chapters in a row.
Best idea I've had all day.
So many little details make this hilarious even as it's dramatic.
OH GODS, PANIC FLUTTERSHY, PANIC RIGHT NOW!!!! Anyway, I find the talk about humans amusing even though it's a tad annoying, poor Spike Damn, you got to be smart to think of this shiy, you're doing an amazing job, really love it
That line was briliant!!
I also liked the Metal Gear Solid 4 reference by Lyra
2448045
That could explain some things about the Spartan Emile.
a-gc.com/images/2012/12/emile-cool-halo-halo-reach-screen-shot-spartan.jpg
I see SPHERE dividing into Hemi-SPHEREs soon. Then there will probably be further splinter groups like the Human Reformation Protection Directive for Equestrian Royal Protection (or HRP DERP).
The candymaker
herself. It seemed that her ideas were finally getting respect. All that was left was to present her full argument for
the existence, which she would
soon be able to back up with
nice, solid evidence
SPOILER ALERT!!!
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.
.
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No, the problem was that the unicorn’s personal library was located in her bedroom, where a gray stallion was currently sprawled out on the guest bed.
-Pencil Pusher? I had forgotten where he was.
However, all the sympathy in the world couldn’t make his sleep-talking any less distracting.
-Ah... I wonder if he will say something romantic or even creepy-seeming about Fluttershy.
“Urnh... nyerfacegrig....”
-Well, he isn't being very coherent at least some of the time.
seemed to be much more uncomfortable than she was around creatures whose adorability was slightly less obvious than, say, a tarantula.
-This sums up so much about Fluttershy. Of course, tarantulas are fuzzy, and in Equestria are probably perfectly domesticatable so you can pet them. I mean when a butterfly makes a perfectly reasonable pet outside an enclosure... EDIT: Apparently knowledgeable source (has held them personally) says: "anyway, for the record, tarantulas have lots of different textures. both by different parts of the tarantula having different types/textures of "fuzz", and by there being lots of different types of tarantulas. some of them are as soft as cat fur. some of them are as prickly as pig bristles. most are somewhere in between."
grumpy manticores had an unfortunate tendency to act on antisocial impulses, after all.
-Yeah, good thing she came along... I also wonder how many sections he his stinging each tree into, and how his supply/production-rate of venom will hold out.
Things seemed to be going okay for the first few minutes, but Fluttershy couldn’t shake the feeling that there were going to be unforeseen complications in the plan.
-Said business about venom? Maybe I accidentally glanced ahead subconciously? As usual, I don't think so.
“I’m not sure,” the unknown stallion’s voice replied. “But, well, since you’re in charge, I thought you might want to know about this.”
-Ah, so probably not venom supplies.
“Um, well, I was wondering if all this wood was supposed to be green.”
-Ah, even more obvious. SO obvious it didn't occur to me that nopony had thought of it.
“I’m going to talk to Fluttershy. Just hold up for a little bit, and then we’ll get back underway.”
-I suspect that may prove less than helpful, at least in the short term.
“Fussin’ over details ain’t gonna help, especially since that ain’t your job this time.”
-"Look Before You Sleep" reference?
we could always just keep things going while you talk to her. I mean, green firewood’s still better than no firewood, right?
-Good point,
However, when she took her first break from loading firewood onto carts, the amateur cryptozoologist was pleasantly surprised to learn that some of the volunteers were already taking the idea of SPHERE seriously, and she soon found herself explaining the group’s ideals to a small group of unicorns, although some (most notably, Lyra’s dentist, Minuette) were still a bit skeptical.
-Interesting. I briefly wondered if they were just trying to slack off work, but I very much doubt it.
“And if our military is supplemented by big, scary-looking humans who are being pressured to look mean and nasty, it’ll probably stay that way.”
-Interesting fleshing out.
Lyra heard all of this, but it only half-registered in her brain, which was still hovering around daydreams of hands rubbing that one spot on her withers that the spa ponies never seemed to quite get to.
-Ah, well, that is an interesting way of working in the "hands" thing, rather than her wanting hands herself. I approve.
“Oh, they’re called baricos?
-Interesting that he can correct her on stuff like that, rather than just her intended meaning getting through and obscuring the actual words.
“Fluttershy! Green wood! Smoke! Fog! Bad, maybe!”
-That is the LEAST coherent that I have ever seen her being (except maybe before her morning coffee? Might have even been in this fic, I don't remember).
“There is a particular spell used to magically fire pottery when an actual kiln is unavailable. If I tone down the intensity, I might be able to dry the sap quickly without actually igniting the wood.”
-Could be useful for actually drying out the fog if there is a part of the line that experiences difficulty.
“Hey, we’re here to help you however we can, Fluttershy. I’m sure she won’t have a problem.”
-Rarity is hardly the "outdoorsy" type, so that might lose some quality. Then again LOADING it shouldn't be the problem, except if their are nests and such, which I suspect Fluttershy would have noticed.
“Um, I’ll leave that decision up to you. You’ll have a better idea of how to use it effectively.”
-Good choice on Fluttershy's part.
“Actually, Manny, I think Emile is a perfectly fine name for a male cub.”
-Was he loud because he is complaining, or to get her attention back?
“Have you ever heard of the legend of the Rainbow Bridge?”
-Nice touch.
“Uh, that’s not what the word means,” Bon-Bon said, doing her best to suppress the dry heaves forming in her throat,
-Why the dry heaves?
Those who can’t perform those services for them will no doubt be enslaved and forced to pacify their demonic offspring with our colorful coats and easily-styled manes. They may even force us to let the little monsters ride us!
-Eh HUH.
“Urgh... what?! That’s disgusting! I’m not going to sleep around just to make a naked sasquatch happy!”
-Indeed...
All that was left was to present her full argument for the existence, which she would soon be able to back up with nice, solid evidence scrounged from the first wave of human invaders—
-So we have the earthponies and unicorns all split on what they believe. Should make for some good comedy.
-Going to post this now and then edit, just to be on the safe side.
“This thing needs to be at least 20% hotter, and soon.”
-Nice variation.
“but it’s kind of difficult to get the fire going when we have to keep rationing our firewood. I thought we were supposed to get a continuous supply.”
-Ah, they are doing packets?
The firewood’s running low. Go find Fluttershy and see if this can be fixed.
-Using off-screen teleportation for message running? Good choice.
Really, the only reason she hadn’t started screaming and flailing about in a blind panic was the near certainty that this would bother Mr. Roar, and it just wasn’t right to upset such a sweet, innocent creature.
-...Whatever works I guess...
and it’s not like a whole civilization is going to pop into existence overnight.
-Nice lampshade hanging.
“Of course, what’s really lucky is that I think I figured out what’s causing the slowdown on my way down.
-Pinkie... often perspective, and SOMETIMES communicative enough to get her point across.
Basically, some of the ponies are debating whether humans are going to be bad or good, and they’re getting distracted, and that’s slowing them down, and slowing down the ponies behind them, and the ponies behind them, and the ponies behind those ponies—
-Ah, I see... well, between the two of them they can maybe play peace-maker, or maybe just get RD to Drill Sargent them.
Fluttershy interrupted. She didn’t have very much patience for a Pinkie Pie feedback loop at the moment.
-Wow... interrupting? She's being bold by her standards.
“I guess I’ll have to talk with them about this. And have Rarity and Applejack crack down on other ponies doing it, too.”
-Could work. Could not work.
“Would you mind keeping Manny and Mr. Fir company for a bit? I need to get this sorted out.”
-That could be problematic.
She hated lecturing others about their mistakes. It just felt so... mean-spirited, especially since her big mistake was so much worse.
-Nice touch.
For the briefest of moments, Rainbow Dash considered flying down to base camp to learn just what had gone wrong, but she soon changed her mind.
-Well, that was solved quickly. I wonder if Bon-Bon and Lyra are now nursing some annoyance at Fluttershy? Probably not. She's too adorable.
After mulling her options, she made a decision. “Okay, everypony!” she yelled out at the top of her lungs. “Fog suits on!”
-With an hour still to go? Seems a bit much, but whichever. Maybe she is just hedging her bets since she has to give the order over the whole length of the line?
“Yeah, I know it’s hot, but you’re going to want to get them on right now. Trust me. And remember to stay hydrated! The last thing we need right now is for one of you guys to pass out.”
-I'm betting she isn't taking her own advice on hydration. Then again, she SHOULD know when she is getting into a dangerous level.
Douglas Fir had really seemed to warm up to the manticore over the past hour and a half, and just as importantly, the manticore seemed to reciprocate the attitude.
-I see... I wonder if they will form a longer-term working relationship... not sure what Douglas could pay Manny though.
“Oh, um, ‘So long,’ more or less,” she answered.
-Doesn't translate well? Or comes across as mildly insulting?
Fluttershy had been forced to break out The Stare.
-Well, I guess as of "Putting Your Hoof Down" she could use it in her own defense, rather than just in defense of others who are immediately present. She hasn't ever used it on Ponies canonically, so it is ambiguous if she can.
well, some ponies had more severe reactions to it than others. Maybe I should bring Bon-Bon some cookies later...
-Interesting...
“My dear, you should never, ever say that sort of thing out loud,”
-Indeed... I suppose the CMC still haven't had their little adventure, but last I knew they were in the apple orchard. I may have been forgetting a change of plans. the fog could also react badly with the fire due to its experimental make-up. Probably not horribly flammable... although it might be energetic, but with a very high ignition point. Sorta like coal in that getting it started AND putting it out are both hard.
“Case in point: there’s a group of ponies from out of town who are making their way here from my office even as we speak, and they are very interested in talking to you.”
-Representatives from the manufacturing company? Unionists? Additional towns demanding protection? Tree-huggers?
“It’s the media.”
-Oh, yeah, that could be bad. Still, appointing Twilight to PR duties could fix a lot... except that Lyra and Bon-Bon might beat Twilight to contact, or at least get some on the sides.
I'm assuming this won't count.
img.pokemondb.net/artwork/galvantula.jpg
Oh no...