A Very Normal Spa Day

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Comments ( 5 )

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Cheshirek4t

Cheshirek4t #1 · Aug 31st, 2022 · · 4 ·

Nice
Also sauce pls

Eldorado

Moderator

Eldorado #2 · Aug 31st, 2022 · 5 · 3 ·

NSFW links aren't allowed anywhere on Fimfic, even in source links. Sorry.

Best thing to do is simply state the derpi image ID (the numbers) in the description, so people can find the source without it being a clickable link.

Nuhri1995

Nuhri1995 #3 · Sep 1st, 2022 · 2 · ·

It's one thing to indicate that someone has a thick accent, it's another thing to make it annoying. Some insist on at least giving Applejack "Ah" instead of "I", but it really isn't needed or a good idea in general. This alone wouldn't normally be enough to give a dislike, but this time it's so bad I can't read past the first few paragraphs.

Non Uberis

Non Uberis #4 · Sep 8th, 2022 · 2 · ·

A good bit of smut. Flustered Fluttershy fun is always good; flustered big-tit big-cock Fluttershy fun is even better.

Regarding phonetically writing out accents, it's a bit much for me here, but from what I've seen it's largely a matter of preference--I've seen Stephen King go ham with it in a number of stories. There was a couple of egregious instances that stuck out to me: "zpleetteenk" in place of "splitting" really threw me, and "desarive" in place of "deserve" bothers me since it's adding an extra syllable. The most important thing to me is that it's still easy to tell what a word is supposed to be.

Having been familiar with art of your OC, I'm honestly a little surprised you haven't posted more hyper porn than this.

Fictionfan100