Sunny Starscout had expected a nice, relaxing camping trip with her friends when she’d left for the forest outside Maretime Bay, yet unbeknownst to her when she’d shut and locked the door to the Brighthouse behind her, she and the rest of the mane five trotted upon a collision course with destiny!
Of on-going action and adventure!
Of immense and intense super science and super excitement!
And of good ole’ fashion magic and mayhem!
After falling from the stars, the mysterious alien device that began to glare and stuck itself upon her wrist with secrets it did share would change equestria and its knowledge of the past, present, and future forever!
The world would never be the same again!
Not with its new superhero who will never stop till evil is made to pay, for she’s the raddest mare to ever save the day: Sunny 10!
nice work
gotta love a ben 10 themed mlp story
maybe change to the title a bit so its closer the the rhyme?
And now, the real fun begins.
nice work
Now if she had access to twenty aliens, her name would rhyme better. Sunny Twenty.
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Shhh! Don't spoil the surprise you two.
Why do you guys default to Heatblast as first alien? its ALWAYS heatblast. Go for XLR8 or Diamond head, it be more exciting and less dangerous, like she tried to explain to Zipp who only tries to catch her where she in instinct keeps running away too fast as XLR8, but thats just me.
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Because it was the first in the original show.
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Basically what MovieLord said. I'm sorry this annoyed you, but my intent for the intro to this story was to mirror, or at least mimic, the first episode of the original Ben 10 animated series as closely as possible, save for a few little diversions and alternate paths to accommodate the ponies and their setting and characters and my own literary anomalies that always arise when I'm writing to a gameplan. One of the crucial similarities I absolutely wanted to keep was Sunny transforming into Heatblast first because, honestly, the familiarity of that moment in the original Ben 10 makes me feel all, pardon the pun, warm and fuzzy. Like Heatblast. Well, technically he's rocky, but I digress. Nevertheless, I was kind of hoping the same warm fuzzies would be felt by everybody else who read this work. I always tend to find, unless I've basically read far too much fanfiction in a given fandom that I need a break, the closer and more familiar you are to the source material in letter and spirit at the start of the fic, the better, because it's easier for fans to acclimate and adjust, especially if you have big and different plans up ahead. Radical departures at the beginning tend to, not always, but tend to take me out of it. It really is a thing you have to earn via lots of legwork for me. Regardless, don't you worry. I assure you there will be far more major and interesting new takes on things as the story progresses. Maybe not in this intro section, but certainly the farther along we go.
Have a blessed day.
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be more original, thats why i complained. Yeah Heatblast is the first alien but diversify from canon wouldn't be bad. But what's done is done, now how would Sunny react to being on fire
Good story... even the parts I didn't proofread.
I’m excited for this already.
I haven't even read the story and I already love it. That Ben 10 parody intro was so good I sang it in my head while I read it
nice work
You can't have copyrighted song lyrics on this site, even if you're making minor edits to add MLP relation. That goes for the Ben 10 theme in the description, the Annie song in the first chapter, and anything else you've used anywhere else in the story.
I think you might of repeated the “And of good ole’ fashion magic and mayhem!” Part, but if that was intentional then I’m very sorry for bothering you about it.
From WIZZ the KWAMI OF WISDOM
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because the sun is what? warm and Heatblast warm.
*Tydyn tyn*
This has been quite the entertaining read so far.