Let me start this letter by saying: I love you. I know, I know. It’s probably the corniest statement in all of Equestria, but what can I say? It’s true.
Remember the first time we met? When I got my cutie mark? Your fourteenth birthday? Our final year project? All those good times we spent together strengthened our friendship.
But perhaps it’s time for something more? Twilight Velvet, would you like to be my girlfriend?
Featured: 10/03/2022
Behind-the-page: My Dearest Twilight
Written for: FanOfMostEveryhting’s Ancestral Tribute Contest
Review: KarmaSentinal and Ghost Mike
Now with Patreon!
Chapters (1)
Sweet sentiment, though I can't help but feel that this would have worked better as a montage of the described scenes as they happened. Presenting this as a letter, especially a romantic one, feels weird in-universe. "Hey, remember all these treasured moments you were there for? If not, I'm going to give detailed overviews of each, as though for a hypothetical audience unfamiliar with our lives together."
The base idea is sound, and given what we know about him, even the approach works for Night Light. It just doesn't feel like you're realizing the concept to its fullest potential. In all, thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.
11382573
First of all, thank you so much for the comment!
I considered doing this. Really, I did. But then I realized I wanted to explore this story format to the fullest and have it all be a letter. And there’s a second reason for that, too. I wanted to explore Night’s feelings as these events unfolded.
I know. But this is just a short story and it’s pushing my comfort zone enough as it. Romance, letter format, Night and Velvet - I haven’t written any of these things before. But thank you for the criticism; I’ll keep it in mind if I ever decide to write something similar.
That was a good story.
Really love the way you wrote this. I can believe this is how Twilight Sparkle's parents met each other and fell in love.
11383007 11382945
Thank you both.
Cute, and as was said by 11383007, this really feels like something that could have happened in canon.
I can picture Twilight Velvet screaming "YES!!" right after reading Nightlight's letter. Twilight Sparkle's adorkableness had to come from somewhere
11384327
Thank you for the compliment!
I'm about to submit a Night Light and Velvet story myself but this is just so cute. I wonder if I should pick a different pair. This is very well done.
11385507
Thank you so much for the compliment!
11382573
I mostly agree with FanOfMostEverthing, but I will say that having chosen of your own free will to constrain yourself in a very narrow zone, you've done very well. Good origin background for the Parents Sparkle. Cheers!
11424139
Thank you!
An oddball ghost happened across your fic and read it. Have a review!
11429311
Thank you for the review!