Rainbow Dash woke up on the floor of her bedroom, having fallen out of bed during one of her dreams about flying with the 'Bolts. "Owww, my face," the rainbow-maned pony groaned as her wings twitched. Her horn lit up, her magic crudely fumbling for her lamp's light switch.
Turning the vile contraption on, she looked about her room; it was well before sun-up, but her head was buzzing like a nest of wasps and she couldn't possibly go back to sleep. Getting off the floor and mumbling to herself, her horn lit up again and her bed, which was a mess of blankets she didn't feel like picking up at the moment, neatly made itself as she trotted downstairs to get something for breakfast.
Rainbow Dash opened her pantry to find her favorite brand of WonderBolts WonderFlakes® gone. "Ugh, come on..." She picked up the empty box in her mouth, ripping the section off that had the coupon on it so she could go buy more. Picking up a small pile of bits and pulling on a hooded, wool-lined raincoat (Rarity had made sure it was perfect for bad weather after the time Dash had gotten a cold while trying to stop an Everfree storm from ruining Ponyville's Weather Schedule as a thanks and a get well soon present.), Rainbow trotted out the door and took wing for Cloudsdale, since the Ponyville Market never carried it.
She got to Cloudsdale just as the sun started up over the horizon. Ugh, this is stupid, she thought to herself. I'm Equestria's fastest flier! What's going on with me today?! Still flying around like Ditzy would if she drank as much as Berry Punch did in three nights, Rainbow finally came down for a landing outside of Cloud-Top Food and Drug, the only store that was open 24 hours that wasn't a motel diner. Why they added the "Cloud" part before the rest of the store's name was a mystery to her, since it was only called that here in Cloudsdale.
It took her only a few seconds to find her favorite breakfast food in one of the aisles closest to the back. She was on her way to the checkout stand when the thought struck her: Did she have milk?
Resisting the urge to facehoof, she counted her bits and decided that it would be easier to just get some milk from Mootilda or Mooreece, if they were still in Ponyville. Setting the bits down on the counter at the checkout, she continued on out of the store, her newly bought cereal floating in the air at her side, her head still tingling slightly. Did I drink too much last night, or something? Mentally shrugging, she strutted past the gaping onlookers and jumped off the edge of the cloud city, quickly gaining speed for a medium-level glide back towards Ponyville. She still felt off-balance, and she wasn't going to let anypony know that she wasn't at her best.
Knock knock knock!
"Spiiiike!"
"I got it!"
A scuffle, a thump, and the soft sound of scaly feet padding across a wooden floor later, and the library door was open. "Hey, Spike, is Twilight in?"
Spike, his mouth opening and closing slowly, like a fish out of water (but not quite as about-to-die as that analogy may make you think), just pointed towards the stairs, where the faint sound of running water could be heard, along with a faint waft of steam. "Woah, she can hear the door being knocked on from her bathroom? While in the shower? She must have some freaky good ears."
"N-no, she-- uh.. she just implemented a small magical doohickey that lets her know if the door gets knocked on," Spike says, his eyes beginning to glaze over.
"Thanks, bud," Rainbow Dash replied, patting his head. He then fell over in a faint, and Rainbow giggled to herself as she made her way up the stairs towards Twilight's living space. "Hey, Twilight?"
"Oh, Rainbow Dash!" Twilight says, the words turning into a yelp as she slips. Rainbow Dash, still a few feet away from the door, lunges forward, her head feeling tingly again as she races forward to help her friend.
Throwing open the door, she finds Twilight, dripping wet and still halfway under the shower's spray, caught in a somewhat yellow-orange magical aura. One of her eyes opens as she realizes she hasn't hit the ground yet, and she looks up at Rainbow Dash. "Oh, thank you, Rainbow Daaaaaahhh!!! Your head!!!"
"Aaahhh!!" Rainbow replied, forelegs flailing as she ran them over her head. "What?!?! What about my head?!"
"YOU HAVE A HORN," Twilght screamed at the top of her lungs, the bathroom mirror ripping itself from the wall and thrusting itself at Dash.
When Rainbow saw that, yes, she did indeed have an extremely long, extremely pointy horn on her head and that yes, her wings were longer than usual, she and Twilight started their screaming contest again in earnest.
"Come now, Sweetie Belle, get in the bath... I'm surprised you're home so early! And you're covered in more tree sap than ever before! What ever were you three doing?"
"We were trying to get our Syrup Tapping Cutie Marks. I didn't even know that trees could shoot out so much at once. They positively drenched Scootaloo. Every tree in the clearing started shooting off all at once, even though we'd only tapped like, three of them. It'll take forever to wash it out of our capes!" Sweetie continued her mumbled rant as she plunged into the hot, steamy bath, not noticing her sister's cheeks as they became a bit rosy while painting a very different picture using the same words Sweetie was.
Whatever thoughts Rarity had running through her head were completely shattered, however, when a voice that clearly belonged to Ponyville's Proudest-- and loudest-- Pegasus shouted so loudly that it was as if she were inside the boutique:
"BUT I DON'T WANNA BE A PRINCE-HEA-HEA-HEAASS!!!!"
Rarity shook her head. "Ugh, sometimes that Rainbow Dash can be such a Drama Queen."
Somehow this didn't ind up in my tab. Yet other stories updating have been. I am very confused. I am also typing like i have hooves instead of hands so who knows.
This chapter was... interesting. Much of the humor of this chapter is very similar to that of the last which i love. however that is also a small gripe of mine. It almost seems like a rehash of the first chapter only shortened. Don't get me wrong it is different and I still enjoyed it maybe even a little more since it didn't end with that whole world ending three times thing but whatever. I enjoyed it and it was well written. that's all I can say.
2104365 This chapter's kind of a throw-away, if you will. Honestly, Dash is a bitch, and I wanted her done with.
2105787(please keep in mind I'm typing in a near sleep state so don't take these words at face value)
I can certainly see how you went about with this chapter then. However you also went about it a bit poorly because that ending if anything just leaves your readers with more of a want for more. Twilights had a "defining ending" and pinkies suited her. Once again I still liked it so whatever.
2105812 Well, Rarity's next, I think, and an open-ended ending is perfectly fine by me.
Will these stories ever coalesce into one universe? Eh, maybe. Maybe not. I think I might even do one of those X is a changeling, y is really Discord, and z is an Alicorn chapters. Just because fuck reality.
2105850i see no problem with this. Go ahead and explode the universe you've made six more times.
2107173 Nah. Universe explosions are so first chapter. Besides, didn't you see the chapter about the colt from Manetucket?
2107231i did but I can't remember it now.
2107536 read it again, then.
2107545 But that requires effort!
2107545 And now that i've read it I ask why that was any correlation to our conversation beyond being in the same story.
2108244 The colt convinces Twilight not to wake up the Earth, therefore stopping her from blowing up the universe. Simple, beeyotch.
2108644 I believe it's because I double-clicked the "Publish" button, so it unpublished it, and then republished it, and just confused the system. Well, that's my guess, at least.
2108325 Oh so it was the butler this time. I getcha.
Well... I think I'll read this since tomorrow is...
2128334 Yeah, my story's canon, woo!!!
2128351
It's actually a good story.
2128360 Yes, somehow it is, isn't it?
2128468
It's basically like this video
It's good, but in a terrible way.
2128489 I saw a train get wrecked at five miles per hour. It was extremely slow, but eventually the whole thing had derailed. This fic reminds me of that, and I wrote the damn thing.
That was... Interesting. I honestly don't know what to say. Not much really happens in this story, and none of it makes any sense, but I guess that's the charm of it. It was a pretty decent read.
2173086 Yeah, trust me. I don't understand it either.
Well, this was interesting. A cycle of creation and destruction, a shameless self-lampooning, a secret revealed, a life devastated by apotheosis... and chapter 3, which was frankly kind of dumb.
Still, in all, amusing.
2261613 Yeah, I wrote all chapters at around 3 AM. depending on how many days without sleep, that can either be a bad thing or a good thing.
2324075 Nah, of course not. Royalty can't be on the Wonderbolts team; they could use magic to cheat (not that Dash would, of course), or at least be accused of it, and she's no cheater!
2324985 lol, I know. I enjoy a healthy dose of sarcasm myself. Thanks for giving me some!
Who's next?!!! I hope that we get a super big mac, personally. *hint, hint. Wink wink*
2393128 lol, side characters? Hmm, I guess Granny Smith could do with a new hip...
2393198 Who needs a good hip if they have a good set of wings?
Says the pony with a fainting couch.
Says the pony with a fainting couch.
Voyeuristic trees are a new one on me. Well played.