A Teapot for Christmas

A Sunset cute jinglemiss story of ultimate cuteness and joy as Sunset Shimmer gets Twilight Sparkle the perfect gift!

Written for https://www.fimfiction.net/user/525767/Scarlett_Lilac
Art by Jade Harmony
Specially thanks to Midnight Readings for the idea 💡

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

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MatTheBook

MatTheBook #1 · Dec 25th, 2022 · 1 · ·

Twilight‘s house was hard to miss, with all the festive lights hung around the house, and a nativity scene out front with serval animals and people huddled together around a crib. The crushed bush where Twilight’s sister, Shining Armor, had fallen into when trying to set up the lights. It had apparently been a good laugh on behalf of Twilight’s sister in law Cadence.

Shining armor is male

TheOneAJ

TheOneAJ #2 · Dec 25th, 2022 · · ·

11459241
Indeed, he, is XD

ScisetShimmerEvan

ScisetShimmerEvan #3 · Dec 28th, 2022 · · ·

It was a snowy day in the city, fresh snowflakes falling to ground. Enough to make for a picturesque setting, but not enough where it was too much of an inconvenience for anyone other than postal workers. Children played in the park all the winter games one would in their youth, as the adults shoveled, while the teenagers gathers near store windows to gossip about the later fashion trends and drink hot chocolate. On some occasions, couples were holding hands and wore bright smiles on their faces. Sunset having passed by Lyra and Bon Bon, Flash Sentry and Derpy Hoovers, Sonata Dusk and Octavia Melody (of all couples), Wiz Kid and Curly Winds, she even thought she saw Big Mac with Ms. Cheerlie! But then realized it was a different girl from Crystal Prep. Plus, many more looking cheery and gay as their faces blushed from being closest to the ones that they loved this time of year.

falling to the ground.*

For Applejack, she had gotten her zap apple jam casserole. She had never seen the farm girls eyes widen as much as they did so from eating apples before. Which, unfortunately, as much as Sunset love to have told Applejack how to make and grow zap apples, it had to in the end be accepted that the magic apples could only harvested in Equestria.

could only be harvested in Equestria.*

Fluttershy was given a magic comb that would brush her animals by itself. A very handy tool for when Angel Bunny was being a bit too fussy and the poor girl had her hands full. That bunny could be very demanding, so any means to easy Fluttershy’s burden was a blessing. For Rainbow Dash, a simple basketball that would always return to its owner made the sports star happy. Now she could play H.O.R.S.E. (once Rainbow Dash had explained the game to Sunsets dismay) and never had to fetch the ball again! Rarity and Pinkie Pie had been a bit more difficult though.

2 spaces are needed following the paragraphs.
ease, not easy.

In the end, Sunset had decided a makeup, non-magical, worked well for the fashionista. Which it didn’t poses such mystical properties, her friend was more than happy to give Sunset a big hug before the bacon haired girl went in her way. Pinkie Pie on the other hand, was given a pack of self inflating balloons, slightly magical, that turned out was all the party girl needed.

A space is needed after the first paragraph.

Twilight‘s house was hard to miss, with all the festive lights hung around the house, and a nativity scene out front with serval animals and people huddled together around a crib. The crushed bush where Twilight’s brother, Shining Armor, had fallen into when trying to set up the lights. It had apparently been a good laugh on behalf of Twilight’s sister in law Cadence.

several*
sister-in-law*

“Sunset!” Twilight smiled back, pulling

Sunset into a hug. “Happy heartwarming, Sunset!”

These are supposed to be 1 sentence, not 2.

“Okay,” Twilight said slowly, bit doing so quickly to see what this was all about.

by not bit

Sunset leaned over to give her best friend a hug. “Thank you, Sunset Shimmer! Happy hearths warming!” Sunset, feeling a warm fire rise in her belly, hugged back. “Happy hearths warming to you too, Twilight Sparkle.”

Twilight leaned over*
And this should be 2 sentences not 1.

Overall, I enjoyed this story, but it has a lot of mistakes that need fixing.

TheOneAJ

TheOneAJ #4 · Dec 28th, 2022 · · ·

11461898
Was wondering when I see your comment XD
Maybe next time I should just hire you as a proof reader, but regardless;
Thanks for the love/comment ! ❤️ 🤗

ScisetShimmerEvan

ScisetShimmerEvan #5 · Dec 28th, 2022 · · ·

11462096
or get Grammarly.

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