Perhaps it's Fate that all Shirou's become a cynical Archer, or that's what Shirou thought as he beheld his end. Fortunately for him, Fate could be quite tricky and Twilight Sparkle just happened to be looking in the right place to summon a Hero.
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Ah, the Reality Marble. The finest expression of "I reject your reality and substitute it with my own!"
11515579
Really! That's right!
Another chapter of this story for my joy!
I have a question, does Emiya Rank E luck work in this world? Because like the basics of being part of the Emiya family is not that you are super strong, it is that you have the lowest luck in the world and as a consequence get a lot of women in love with you. There's no way all Emiya is like this, Kiritsugo was like this, the original Shirou was like this, Shirou from Fate/Kaleid Liner was like this, even Fujimaro from Fate/Grand Order is like this and for those who don't know he's an Emiya. And rule if you don't have bad luck, a harem and say things like "People die when they are killed", then you are not worthy of the name Emiya.
11515617
As you've stated, Shirou wouldn't be a proper Emiya if he didn't have his E-rank luck. It still works in this world as well, its just letting him enjoy a little calm period for now.
I wonder if this is a tantric ritual timeline? That memory would make twilights wakeup reaction hilarious.
The moment with Luna was rather sweet
Though, while we've seen Twilight react to Shirou's private memories, we've yet to see Shirou react to Twilight's memorys.
11516341
I understand you're issues with how the relationship between them seems accelerated. My main reasoning for the speed of it is due to a few things. (Also this is gonna be a long reply, so I might move it to the blog post later, and I'm adding spoiler warnings just in case.)
1. Twilight summoned Shirou and feels its her responsibility to ensure his well-being.
2. The bond between them as Master and Servant does play a role in causing her to feel closer to Shirou than she would for him should he have appeared in Equestria on his own.
3. This is compounded by the Dream Cycle and its choice of memories for her to relive she's gained a deeper understanding of Shirou's past and his feelings (maybe I didn't make that part as obvious, my bad).
4. The memories she's seen also have gotten her obsession to know triggered. They've shown her a Shirou who had a better mindset and had an unshakeable belief in his dream when confronted by what seemed to be the antithesis of it in Archer. Yet the Shirou she currently has with her is a far cry from that one. Then the memories of Illya added more pieces to the puzzle that is Shirou for her. So her need to know and wanting to understand Shirou more led her to confronting him.
5. Shirou has felt the same bond but buried it under his idea that a Servant shouldn't burden their Master. Plus he's been prrtty evasive about his inner turmoil while he was on Earth as none of the others could ever get him to properly address it. He didn't think his problems were worth troubling his friends over.
6. This means Twilight was more compelled to force the matter when she saw and opening since he'd normally keep sidestepping the issue as he tried with Pinkie.
7. The use of elements played a major part in influencing them as well. The mental bulwarks that Shirou had put up and were turning him in a "Hero" in a bad end style, had come crashing down with the rainbow blast. This allowed Twilight to confront Shirou without him evading the questions for too long when she forced the topic.
8. Also everypony being in Shirou's RM affected them due to (in my belief) them being far more attuned to emotions and that RM was choking them on bad vibes.
That's a major list of the things that led to my narrative choices with how Shirou and Twilight's relationship has built up so far. I do wanna clarify the trauma isn't going to go away after that conversation. Twilight simply finished knocking down Shirou's walls and now he's more open to change. That was the most important thing. With him open to changing his troubled mentality he's ready to actually build a proper bond with the others as well as deepening his bond with Twilight.
As for the thing with Celestia, she really just felt the rush of empathy at someone who reminded her too much of her past self when she saw Shirou. And as a ruler who care deeply for her subjects (she defaults Shirou as a subject) she felt the need to comfort him as well. Also partially grateful he helped save her sister.
Fun fact I do have the next chapter planned to start with Shirou dreaming of Twilight's memories to show the flip in focus. I feel I focused a bit more on Twilight so far.
If you still feel I rushed things or didn't properly set all this up in the story then I still understand. I will not claim to be the best writer, but I will try to do better in the future. This is my first try at writing a story and I want to learn from it. I really do value feedback like yours.
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Ok, while I understand your reasoning for it, it still feels fast to me, but I've already said my piece concerning that and won't bring it back up til I can think of a more constructive and specific way to present it.
In other news, I found a thread that separates Fanon from Canon in Fate and has citations for proof of such.
https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/general-type-moon-discussion-thread-3-vermillion-seifuku-mains-gather-please-read-the-threadmarks.951937/?post=77419480#post-77419480
Hopefully that'll help in regards any fate lore...however the golden rule is 'Don't worry about it' so use whatever helps with your story.