They'll Always be With Me
Thunk…
Celestia’s ears swiveled forward.
Thunk…
Her teacup hovered in front of her lips, frozen.
Thunk…
“Is something wrong?”
“Hmmm?” Celestia focused back on the alicorn across from her. “Oh, no…”
Thunk…
“Do you hear that, Twilight?”
“Ah.” Twilight shifted in her seat. “It’s the pipes. It’s a magic crystal tree, but not exactly up to code, according to the inspector.”
Celestia sipped from her cup, and set it down. “Pipes?”
Thunk…
“Pipes,” Twilight confirmed with a nod, taking a sip from her own cup - louder than necessary, to cover the noise that echoed up through the walls. It reverberated in the crystals, ringing harmonically like a tolling bell.
Thunk…
“Are you-”
“I’ll have Spike check it out,” Twilight said, turning and looking pointedly at the teenaged dragon hovering in the doorway. Their eyes met, and Spike looked away.
“I-I’ll go look,” he murmured, hurrying out of the room.
Appeased, Celestia visibly relaxed, and brought her cup back to her lips. For a moment, the room was silent.
Thunk…
“How are you?” Celestia asked, her tone just as motherly as it had been when Twilight was young.
“Fine,” Twilight answered. “Why?”
Celestia’s eyes narrowed, slightly. “I confess, I thought the 50th anniversary would be… hard on you.”
“Oh!” Twilight’s eyes widened, and she nodded. “Has it been that long? I… hadn’t noticed. They’re still with me.”
“True, our loved ones never really leave us, if we remember them,” Celestia acknowledged gracefully. “But that doesn’t erase our burden of-”
Thunk…
“They’re my very best friends,” Twilight said, loudly. “I don’t know what I’d do without them.”
“I see…”
Thunk…
“If you’ll excuse me, Celestia,” Twilight said suddenly, standing. “I’m going to go check with Spike and see what’s happening. A moment, please?”
“Of course.”
Hurrying out of the room, Twilight maneuvered through the crystalline corridors with practiced ease until she arrived at the door to the basement - the padlock hanging open.
Thunk…
Twilight began descending the stairs.
Thunk…
“Please, stop,” a voice from the depths said.
Thunk…
“You know what she’ll do,” Spike pleaded.
THUNK…
“Pinkie, stop!”
SPLAT.
Twilight reached the hard stone floor just in time for blood and graymatter to splash her hooves. She followed the trail to its source - a bright pink mound of flesh that vaguely resembled a pony, its sorry excuse for a head smashed flat and laying in a pool of blood on the floor. Spike stood over the corpse, wringing his claws.
“Pinkie…” Twilight sighed, shaking her head. Spike’s head snapped up.
“I-I couldn’t s-stop her!”
“It’s alright, Spike,” she said gently, lighting her horn. Scattered bits of brain and skull were collected in her magic and brought towards the pink mass. She was stopped, however, by a desperate, wheezing gasp to her right, and the sound of rattling chains.
Twilight turned, and looked at the mare pulling on her collar. “Rainbow,” she greeted shortly. “You’re as lively as ever.”
“Hhhhhhh!” Rainbow yelled. Or, tried to, her tongue dangling loosely down from the open hole in her face that was once a mouth. One too many times biting her own tongue off had forced Twilight to remove her lower jaw entirely. Her two front legs were bent at unnatural angles, as was one wing.
Twilight had tried to keep her wings intact - she really had, knowing how precious they were, but she kept flying into the wall.
“Just a moment,” Twilight grunted, as she took as much of Pinkie as she could and put it back roughly in place.
“Mmmph!”
Looking to the mare chained next to Rainbow - just far enough apart so that they couldn’t reach each other - was Applejack, fighting against the chain around her neck. Though her jaw was still intact, it had been wired shut for much the same reason as Rainbow’s. A more refined method, one Twilight wished she had thought of earlier.
“I know,” she said, “I’m sorry I let this happen. I’ll fix her.”
Applejack desperately shook her head. Horn glowing brighter, Twilight took a breath. Pinkie’s corpse was engulfed in a white glow - one that was quickly overtaken by a billowing black smoke that seemed to leak out of Twilight’s eyes, ears, and nose.
When it stopped, all was still.
Then the pink lump of flesh shook, and raised itself up on broken legs, its squashed and bloodied face looking around. The tears came, and it fell back onto the floor, a disgusting, squelching sob emanating from it.
“There, see? Good as new!” Twilight proclaimed, reaching out and petting Pinkie on the head. “Don’t do that again. It would hurt me so much to lose you.”
“Please…” a quiet voice croaked out. Twilight turned to Fluttershy, the only mare who was still allowed the full use of her mouth. Though she was still covered in wounds that didn’t heal - most of them from before Twilight learned to keep the girls separated.
“What’s that?”
Fluttershy looked up from her spot huddled on the ground against the wall. Her eyes, lifeless and dull, met Twilight’s. “Please just let us die.”
“Die?” Twilight asked, indignantly. “Why would you ask me that? That’s not very kind of you, Fluttershy. How would I survive, if my closest friends in the world all died and left me behind? Why would you want to leave me alone?”
"What has that magic done to you?" Fluttershy asked.
Twilight ignored her. "Now, I’m having tea with Celestia, so no more disturbances, okay?”
Rainbow and Applejack did their best to protest, but were ultimately ignored. “Come along, Spike.”
Spike made to follow, his eyes glued to his feet, but he gave one look back, his eyes meeting with a familiar piercing blue. Rarity’s horn had long been snapped off, and her jaw was immobile, but her look held it all.
“Y-you don’t know what she’ll do to me…”
“Spike!”
“I’m sorry!” He cried, running up the stairs.
The door to the basement closed, and the familiar sound of the padlock being latched echoed through the basement.
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Really great story it's full of detail and very sinister. 👍👌
Yikes.
This was good. A creepy kind of good, but good nonetheless.
Twilight, darling, what the fuck are you doing? Keeping your friendsʼ corpses alive and locked down below? How far have you fallen?
A sequel would be nice, one where Celestia finds the truth.
All in all, excellent job and best of luck in the judging!
What the actual fuck?
Delightfully creepy. I don’t usually go for this premise, but this was well done! Best of luck in the contest, fellow competitor.
... Meh. It's hard to feel anything when this level of character assassination can never be justified. As unstable as Twilight can be, she'd never do this.
11606404
Of the three fics I've done for the contest, this one definitely suffered the most from the word limit, since it was adapted from an idea I had for a longer fic. It was brutal to grind this down to 1K from the original draft that was almost 300 words over budget. While the intention was for it to be implied that the dark magic Twilight's using has twisted her, that idea very much did not make it through the de-wordification process. A shame, but as the story stands now you're definitely not wrong.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
How's Spike still teenaged after 50 years?
Jesus Christ, that was something. Your economy of words might be the most outstanding aspect of this story, it is amazing how well you could convey everything, from the uneasy normalcy preceding the horror to the horror itself. Those descriptions were so perfectly pitched, so clear, concise and precise in their execution, you could derive so much from what was being shown into the darkest parts of the reader's imagination. I don't typically enjoy this kind of horror, it kind of breaches a certain part of the show that I like, but this fiction overcame all of that. One thing I like is that it doesn't feel particularly sadistic nor excessively proud of itself. Gorefics tend to involve a bit of smugness form the author who's convinced of doing such a "good job" horrifying their audience, but I get nothing of that here. This kind of idea tends to feel pretty juvenile, character assassination and all, but here there seemed to be more of a glance into a dark reality than a forced twist. I don't know how else to explain it.
I do kind of wish the idea had been expanded more, as I've read you comment. For example, I'm fairly sure Discord would have had some objections to this. Seeing his reaction could have been interesting. I also like the idea of corrupting magic being responsible for this, it's a cool idea I wouldn't have mind seeing expanded, although the ambiguity adds to the horror and I think the reader can figure as much thanks for Fluttershy's line. Nevertheless, good job.
11624752
Hey, thanks for the comment! I'm glad you enjoyed.
There's definitely an interesting core here, and I'd love to one day revisit it and properly write Twilight's descent to the state depicted in the story. As the magic that corrupts her is meant to be an allegory for refusing/being unable to let go, I think a longer story would suit it well as she struggles with her grief.
As for the "typical" gorefic, it's something I actually try really hard to avoid. The kind of horror I like is a balancing act, where the things the author chooses not to show are just as important as what they do. I don't like revelling in blood and gore, which is why I tried to balance it with the reasons/implications. Like how Twilight seems to genuinely regret the damage she caused Rainbow, and doesn't actually want to see them get hurt. To be honest I think I actually went too hard into the gore anyway, as there were some details I added that don't serve a purpose (Rainbow's legs being broken is a prime example).
Also, full disclosure, Fluttershy's line was edited in after the fact when I realised the idea hadn't translated at all. So the version you read is much clearer than the version some previous commenter read.
do wonder how one writes building codes for one-of-a-kind magical crystal trees
well, that is horrifying! well done on the very sudden vibe shift
oof!
very economical horror, the sheer wrongness of the relationship between Twilight and her friends being twisted into this. well done!
If Kiss of the Alicorn didn’t do anything for me, this did less. I won’t rehash what I discussed there. There is horror here in what Twilight has become, but it’s mostly a gorefest. Sorry, but this just rang hollow for me.
I don’t know if I’ll sleep tonight or stay up all night imagining these creepy things you write about, great job.
I usually don’t read horror stories, or even watch horror movies, but this was awesome.