Page generated in 0.014 seconds
Total duration
793 users online
1,648,696 hits today, 2,673,812 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
light beginning of the transfer story)
I’m not sure if this is a text in translation, but the writing style and grammar makes this chapter flow very poorly. The most consistent issue, is the misuse of ‘and’, with the inclusion of unnecessary details and an excessive amount of ideas being conveyed in a paragraph making up the secondary and tertiary issues. I am not good at English but theses are the issues I believe the chapter has.
11789790
I don't know if you've seen my responses to others who have said something similar. This was/is the first ever chapter I uploaded here so I was unfamiliar with the format. The misuse of and was just me being lazy, the over attention to detail was trying to cram for various other reasons. I appreciate your feedback though and hope you can look past the somewhat rocky start and enjoy what I have so far!
0:15