Scars

by Veebee

Day 5

April 3rd, 2021

Day 5: It’s a new feeling. Sure, I normally wear long sleeves or a jacket everyday but that’s just because I want to; now I have to. I'm not the best actress, that’s Rarity’s thing. But luckily I've had enough practice faking smiles that I don't think any of my friends suspect anything. Well, I think Sunset does. She kept staring at me suspiciously and even somewhat was examining my arms even if they were covered by the jacket. Eventually they will find out, I'm sure of it. But until that day comes I'll keep doing this, living in denial and constant anxiety that my secret will get exposed and I will lose them because they will think that I'm crazy or something. I mean, I think I’m crazy.

Something that’s not helping at all is the fact that it’s getting warmer out, today I almost drowned in my own sweat. Sitting in health class was especially irritating, it felt like my skin was peeling off. The warmth of the sun peaking through the windows hitting me from behind my back, sending goosebumps down my spine. The overwhelming feeling only grew worse as I could feel my sweat dripping under my jacket. Oh how I wanted to just rip it off me at that moment, but my anxiety and insecurities over my arms outweighed that urge.

I couldn't handle it anymore, I raised my hand and frantically explained to the teacher that I had to use the bathroom. She didn't even give me an answer before I was already out of the door, I slammed the bathroom stall door and started to walk in place. My body was the most uncomfortable it had ever been, peeling my jacket off my sweaty skin. I lay eyes on my red irritated arm.

‘Is it infected? I wouldn’t even care if it was.’ I thought to myself as I couldn't stop the tears from coming, I began to hyperventilate and couldn't keep it in any longer. I reached in my bag, each tear falling onto the scissors I pulled out. I stopped and pleaded, pleaded that somehow someway someone would come in and stop me. But no one did.