Doctor Whooves: Exile (Part 1: Crash Course)

by The Madwomen

Chapter 8: The Gallifreyan and the Time Lord

"Listen," Pinkie began, "I can... Guess what happened to you, but I can Pinkie Promise I had abso-posi-lutely nothing to do with it! So, uh-"

"Do you truly expect me to believe that?"

The question struck like a dagger into Pinkie's heart. How the hay was she going to convince the Doctor that she had nothing to do with... Well, his murder? Not to mention that she was actively his friend. Rassilon-damnit, friendship was really confusing when time travel was involved.

"Also, what is with this ridiculous facade?" The Doctor gave an incredulous look. "'Abso-posi-lutely?' You seem a bit old to pretend to be five."

Pinkie felt personally insulted. "Hey! I'm not pretending anything! I really am this silly! Just because we're Time Lords doesn't mean we have to be grumpy-pants all the time."

"We?"

"Yeah, silly! You and me! As far as I know there aren't any other Time Lo-"

"I am not a Time Lord," the Doctor growled.

Pinkie was caught off-guard by that. She took a moment to respond, making sure her normal bounciness was reigned in for the moment. "... What did they do to you?"

It was the Doctor's turn to be taken aback, but he quickly recovered. "You would know, now wouldn't you?"

It was at this point the rest of the Main 6, plus Starlight, noticed the two arguing. "Pinkie, Doc," Rainbow said, "what are you guys talking about?"

Pinkie didn't turn to look at the group, but still responded. "Just a misunderstanding between some friends is all."

The Doctor gave another disbelieving look. "Friends?"

Pinkie smiled. "Of course, silly! I'm your friend in the future! Or a future, anyways. I can't say much, buuuuut I can tell you I'm nothing like those meanies who-"

"I find it far too coincidental," the Doctor interrupted, "that this many Time Lords end up in the same place at once."

"Ohhhhhhh I was here for far longer than you!" Pinkie tried to give her best smile, but her nervousness was getting to her.

"Now hold on now," Applejack began. "What do y'all mean 'this many Time Lords'?" She started looking around to see if anycreature else had entered the room, or if the Master had returned.

"He means Pinkie," Twilight explained.

The girls, Pinkie excluded, looked at Twilight, all responding with the same flabbergasted word. "WHAT?!?"

"Yepparooni," Pinkie replied, turning towards the group. "Sorry about not telling any of you! This sort of thing is a 'need-to-know' kinda thing, right? Ooh! Has the Doctor showed you his TARDIS ye-"

"Don't let her deceive you." The Doctor kept up his bitter look in Pinkie's direction. "She is far more cunning than her appearance would have you believe."

Pinkie turned back to the Doctor. "Well, yeah. I don't really like being a smart-pants know-it-all like Twilight. No offense Twily!"

"None taken," responded Twilight, who didn't really comprehend why an apology was needed at first.

Pinkie continued, bouncing up and down. "I like being a fun party pony now! And yeah, I help the girls here save the world at least once every few months but I don't really do any of the super-smart Time Lord things any more, mostly because they aren't really useful here since there's all sorts of magic and creatures like changelings and there's not a lot of tech around to use my sonic on and one time it was raining chocolate and-"

"Well, now I know that you normally play the role of the fool," said the Doctor, once again interrupting Pinkie, "and you play it very well."

"Oh, I'm not play-"

"If I wasn't able to sense you were a Time Lord, it would completely fool me as well."

"Again," Pinkie said, sounding a bit more annoyed now, "I'm not playing a role. I really am this silly! Honest! Pinkie Promise! Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!"

"A 'pinky promise'? No one here has any fingers whatsoever!"

"Oh, it comes from my name, actually. Is that an Earth expression too or something?"

"Doctor, Darling." Rarity spoke up to try and keep her friends from fighting. "Pinkie takes a Pinkie Promise very seriously, so you can trust her on this."

"And how would you know she hasn't been using those so you'll believe her if she makes a false one?"

Everypony gasped, to the Doctor's confusion. Pinkie was actually getting visibly upset at this point. "I have NEVER been more insulted in my whole life! And that's a REALLY long time! I would never break a Pinkie Promise, especially not one I make to my friends, like you!"

The Doctor seemed ready to boil over. "I cannot see myself making friends with a Time Lord for as long as I-"

"She also goes by Romana."

Everypony turned towards Twilight, the one responsible for saying the odd name.

"Romanadvoratrelundar?"

Pinkie was impressed that Twilight was even able to pronounce that, though that didn't dissuade the horror she felt at what Twilight was doing.

"Fred?"

The Doctor just stared blankly at Twilight with a quizzical look, mentally noting that she was also one of these "alicorns."

"Twily," Pinkie said, uncharacteristically nervously, "w- we can't really talk about those sorts of things if the Doctor hasn't met me yet. I know I said I think he's from a different timeline or something but if I'm wrong we could seriously risk some kind of time paradox. So, uh, pleas--"

Pinkie was quickly levitated by Twilight's magic towards the rest of her friends as the princess continued to step towards the Doctor.

"You two met because of someone named the White Guardian," Twilight said, "along with some robot dog named K-9. You were sent on some journey to discover something called the Key to Time by said guardian. You had all kinds of wild adventures together, including fighting Daleks, saving the world from some genocidal art fraud, and battling literal VAMPIRES from SPACE!" She walked closer and closer to the Doctor. "Pinkie has told me all day about her life, including how she was president of your planet, how she fought in a war, how she fixed paradoxes that threatened the universe, but she didn't talk a lot about ANY of that because most of what she wanted to talk about was her time with you and how amazing you are! She gave you all these little titles like the Oncoming Storm, the savior of a thousand worlds, the madman in a box!" Twilight went right up to the Doctor's face. "Pinkie told me about what an amazing, fantastic being you are, and THIS is how you treat her upon seeing her for the first time?!?"

The Doctor tried his best to stay stoic, but it was hard to keep a twinge of guilt from creeping up onto his face. Still, he felt he was at least justified. "Well, your highness, or at least I assume you're royalty, I know nothing of any of that, aside from fighting Daleks of course, although even that is with others. Just as well, I have bad experiences with Time Lords, so forgive me if I'm suspect of your friend. Still, it's unlikely you 'd even be able of fabricating all of that, so I at least believe that you believe all of that."

Twilight kept her gaze, leaning back a little to give the Doctor some space. She calmed herself down just enough to retain her composure. "My name is Princess Twilight Sparkle. I am Equestria's official Princess of Friendship, and all of my friends here, as well as Princesses Celestia, Luna and Cadence, can all attest to the fact that Pinkie has nothing but good intentions and has literally helped us save the world many times."

A slurry of agreements came from her friends. "Twi's right," Applejack said. "Ah don't care if she is one of them fancy-schmancy Time Lords. She sure don't act like one, and she's one of our best friends. "

Pinkie giggled, her smile having returned. "Thanks you guys! I'm sure the Doctor said a lot of mean things about Time Lords, and a lot of them were probably justified, but I'm not like any of those grumpypantses!" Her smile shrank into something more subtle and thoughtful. "Not anymore, at least."

The Doctor trotted up to Pinkie, eyeing her up and down as if inspecting machinery to detect a fault. "Well, I can't say I trust you completely, but..." He sighed. "Your friends are now my friends as well, and if they trust you... Well, I'm willing to at least give you a chance."

The Doctor soon found himself in a pink embrace. "However," he continued despite the instantaneous hug, pushing Pinkie away, "I shall be keeping an eye on you, and if I see anything that suggests you are working with the Time Lords at large there is going to be trouble. Is that clear?"

"Okie Dokie Lokie" was the reply from Pinkie, leaving the Doctor to ponder the absurdity of the phrase "okie dokie lokie." Pinkie turned to Twilight. "By the way, Twily? I am glad you did that, but just so you know what you did was super-duper-alley-ooper risky. Just ask me before you tell the Doctor about our adventures, OK? Time travel is weeeeeiiiiiiirrrrrd."
Twilight nodded. "I'll be sure to, Pinkie." She gave Pinkie a peck on the cheek, resulting in her pink coat to turn a darker shade once again.

Seeing this, Starlight started going through her options. Maybe I should ask Trixie out sometime...

Rainbow took to the air. "Hey, at the very least Doc, I can tell you she's nothing like that Master jerk."

Pinkie's pupils became the size of pinpricks as she turned to Rainbow. "Wh- What did you say, D- Dashie?"

"Uh," Rainbow said apprehensively, "do you know about this Master guy? We just stopped him from-"

Pinkie began shaking her head. "No no no no no NO! How can he be here? He shouldn't be here! He can't be here! Is everypony alright? He didn't hypnotize any of you, did he? Would you know? Is he still in the castle or-"

The Doctor went back up to Pinkie. "Miss... Pie was it?" The Doctor's expression had changed from one of suspicion to one of sympathy. "We took care of that boor's latest scheme. He did manage to get away, but I do believe that Miss Glimmer managed to perform one of her 'spells' on that brute, correct?"

Starlight nodded. "I used a Magical Mindscape Manifestation spell. Took a while longer than it should have, so that's why I was knocked out. I think the reason it took so long was a combination between him being a Time Lord and... I think maybe a heart song?"

The Doctor nodded. "Well, I'm glad to hear that he wasn't just toying with me concerning these 'heartsongs'. Though, truthfully, it was likely both. What exactly did you do to him?"

"I can answer that," said Twilight, her face one of curious concern. "It allows you to enter someone's mind, though in a metaphorical way. As the name of the spell implies, their mindscape."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Using that on a Time Lord seems... Quite dangerous."

Starlight nodded. "I can build a tissue compression device from scratch now thanks to him, but that's not the point. The point is, there was something in his head that was apparently driving him crazy. I took it out of him, resulting in those awful drums that Celestia had to destroy."

Pinkie's eyes grew wide. "You got rid of the DRUMS? Half of the times I had to fight him, he wouldn't shut up about them and how they drove him crazy! I don't think that alone is going to 'fix' him or anything, but I guess it's a good start? Whatever, just... Don't trust that monster to give you the time of day, never mind reform himself like you did."

Starlight nodded again. Everypony aside from the Doctor could tell something was wrong. Aside from Twilight, this was the first time they've seen Pinkie be so... Un-Pinkie-like. They knew that the Master was dangerous, but the way Pinkie reacted made them all reconsider to what extent the Master would go to to get what he wants, or what he was capable of...

Pinkie quickly changed her demeanor back to her normal self. "But hey, he's gone for now! We just have to watch out for him and be reaaaaaallllllly careful! All that said, Doctor, can I ask you something?"

The Doctor glanced at Pinkie. "You certainly may."

"Do you want to go back to Ponyville using my TARDIS? I know showing people the TARDIS for the first time is something you like to do, and mine is VERY different from yours so we can try and find some other way to travel so that you can get your big 'wowee, this isn't what I expected' moment from everypony else, which I know makes you very very very HAPPY! So do you wanna try and teleport over to your TARDIS while I try and find a way some other way? I know the big reveal means a lot to you "

The Doctor paused for a moment, lost in contemplation. He gave a small smile. "Ms. Pie... These are your friends, correct?"

Pinkie nodded.

The Doctor stayed silent for a moment before sighing. "This is hard for me to say, but... I lost some friends recently. Two amazing friends. Jamie McCrimmon and Zoe Heriot. They're alive and well and we left on good terms, but..." His pauses were louder than his words. "When the Time Lords banished me to exile, they erased the memories of my companions."

The rest of the room gasped, including Pinkie.

"You... You never told me about what happened to them. You just said they went home."

The Doctor nodded. "And I suppose that's not a lie."

"It's a lie by omission," Applejack interjected, "but I ain't sayin' I blame ya."

"My point being," the Doctor continued, "I know what friends mean to me, and likely they mean the same thing to you as well, Miss Pie. Your friend said you fought in a war, so I can assume that you're... Familiar with losing your friends?"

Pinkie looked to the ground, solemn, not having to think very hard about it. "Yes, Doctor. I am."

The Doctor gave another small, sad smile. "Well then, we both know our friends here are precious to us. I only just met them today, but you've known them for far longer. So, in that sense, why would I want to take away something that should be your moment? They're about to see something as magical to them as this world is to me, and I would never take their first experience with that away from you."

Pinkie quickly grasped the Doctor in a hug, one which the Doctor returned hesitantly, but without complaint.

"Thank you, Doctor. I knew it was still you."

The room filled with "awwws" as the two Gallifreyans shared an embrace.

Suddenly, the Cutie Marks of everycreature in the room glowed again, much to the Doctor's confusion.

"Pardon, but why are our... Flanks, as it were, glowing again?"

Twilight giggled. "It means we solved the friendship problem! The problem must have been between you and Pinkie! Time travel being involved makes this the most confusing one we've solved yet, but I guess it got solved! I forgot we were all called by the Cutie Map."

This was the most ridiculous thing the Doctor had heard today, and he was in a world of talking equine where royalty raised the sun and moon.

"THAT was the problem? Not the Nestine or the Master? We just saved your entire planet and my relationship to a Time Lord was the issue?"

Twilight explained, as she often liked to do. "Well, if you had met Pinkie when you first woke up, I don't think you would have trusted any of us because of her, but by helping my friends stop whatever happened here they earned that trust! And because you trust them, you could better learn to trust Pinkie Pie, and that helped you fix your relationship!"

The Doctor merely blinked incredulously. "I... Suppose that makes some sense. Still, I cannot believe-"

"Hey Doccy-Woccy!"

The Doctor looked back to Pinkie. "Please, never call me 'Doccy-Woccy' ever again."

"Sorry Doctor," Pinkie replied. "But hey, do you want to take the first step into my Party Box?"

She gestured towards the cardboard box in question.

The Doctor smiled. "I'm afraid not. It's your TARDIS, after all. I'll take your lead."

"OK!" And with that Pinkie jumped into the box. Satisfied, the Doctor jumped in after her. Twilight laughed as she flew in after them both.

The remaining girls just stared in stunned silence at the box their friends just disappeared into. Starlight immediately used her magic to check to see if anything was under the box. "No secret compartment, no trap door, no obvious sign of a spell ca-" Rainbow impulsively flew into the box, quickly flying back out, zooming around the box, and hopping back in over the course of a few seconds.

"Girls," came Rainbow's voice from the box, "you're never going to believe this!"

---

"Well ah'll be," said Applejack with an accompanying whistle.

"I can't believe this," said Starlight.

"It's amazing," whispered Fluttershy.

"It's awesome," exclaimed Rainbow.

"It's..." Rarity began.

And then they all said at once...

"BIGGER ON THE INSIDE!"

The Doctor gave a proud smirk, Twilight showed a bright smile, and Pinkie had a combination of the the two. "And it's waaaaayyyyyyyy bigger than this! It's like the friendship castle since it's alive, but unlike the castle it can rearrange its rooms however it wants, soooooooo GO WILD! It'll find you a place you'll love to hang out in while I get us back to Ponyville!"

With that, Applejack and Rainbow began racing down one hall, Starlight went with Twilight down another, and the Doctor led Fluttershy towards a hall she swore she could hear bird chirps from. Rarity, meanwhile stayed put for a moment.

"Pinkie this is fascinatingly beautiful..."

"I know, right?" Pinkie beamed. "It's a time machine too, though I can't use it as a time machine because I'm a little scared of the Time Lords finding out I'm here, but it can still go anywhere in space!"

Rarity blinked. "Quite. Though I must say, I have... A rather strange feeling about your 'Party Box'..."

Pinkie looked at Rarity quizzically. "What?"

"It's... I know for a fact I've never been here before, but I feel like I've been somewhere like it. Not quite Deja Vu, but something close. Does that make sense?"

Pinkie's tail poofed a little.

Pinkie didn't know exactly why her tail poofed a little, just that it was her Pinkie Sense and it had something to do with Rarity. Whenever Rarity said or did something that seemed just slightly... Off, Pinkie's tail poofed a little. Whenever she would describe a weird dream she had? Poof. Whenever she had a strange expression on her face that went away after half a second? Poof. Whenever Rarity said she had to take care of Sweetie Belle because her parents were out of town? Poof, poof, poof. It was forming a pattern, one which Pinkie couldn't really see too well. Maybe it had something to do with Rarity having met her future self due to time travel? Whatever it was, Pinkie had no idea what it could be.

"Sorry, Rar-Rar, I don't think I get it. But hey, there's some cool stuff you might like! I have a closet here with more outfits than all of Canterlot! So go wild!"

Rarity gasped, a gleam in her eyes. She quickly ran towards the nearest hall. "Thank you, Pinkie! I have no idea why, but this all seems rather nostalgic!"

Poof.

---

After throwing the Doctor the complimentary "Welcome To Ponyville Party," Pinkie led everypony to the Doctor's TARDIS, in all its glory and fully repaired. The Doctor quickly said farewell as he went into the blue box.

"Wait," said Twilight as a familiar noise began ringing from the Police Box, "where's he going?"

Pinkie sighed, not surprised in the slightest. "Anywhere and anywhen. He's the Doctor, it's what he does. We might still see him again, but it'll take a really long time and why hasn't he left yet?"

Sure enough, the TARDIS was still there, the noise having stopped. Soon, out of the box stood a dejected and defeated looking Doctor.

"Well, it would appear I've been sabotaged."

Applejack was the first to respond. "Sabotaged? How do ya figure?"

The Doctor explained. "The fiends changed the dematerialization codes. It will take me years in order to decode them."

Pinkie noticed a look she wasn't used to seeing on the Doctor, not even when he stood laughing at armies of daleks.

"You OK, Doc?" Rainbow was the one to ask. "You look... Scared."

Fear. That was the look. Fear.

The Doctor kept quiet for a moment. "I... I simply don't know what to do. I can't bear the thought of being tied to one planet and one time for too long, and... Well, it simply does frighten me to some degree."

"Well Doctor," Pinkie began, "you can always ask us to help! I know I would!"

The Doctor smiled, in a way that said "I appreciate the offer, but I'm still a big old grumpy pants who's suspicious of you. Thanks, trauma!" At least, that's how Pinkie interpreted it. "I think I'm quite all right on that front," he said. "In any case, I am glad that if I was stuck anywhere and anywhen, it's somewhere I have friends like you lot." This, of course, resulted in a group hug, a reluctant Doctor in the center of it all.

It could be far worse, after all, he thought to himself. This is a fascinating new world. I could be stuck on Earth, a primitive world I already know like the back of my han- Erm, hoof. I'm sure the universe will do just fine without me in the meantime, anyhow.

---

The Brigadier just couldn't believe the audacity of this strange woman in his office.

"And you say you knew the Doctor?"

The woman chuckled darkly. She wore a robe of pure black, had skin as pale as winter, and her head was half-shaved with the other half having long hair the color of a blood stain. "Well, I wouldn't say we were friends, but I did help him. In a way..."

Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, a uniformed man with a black mustache, knew better than to take that at face value. "And in what way did you 'help' him?"

Another chuckle. "It wasn't what I did to him as much what I didn't do. You see, I was called to try and... Oh, what's the term? 'Brainwash' him? He violated multiple laws of the Time Lords, but he was still seen as an asset. What they wanted me to do was change his appearance and, well, his mind. He would choose a face to change to as a mercy, and I would simply remold him into an agent for our own little equivalent to UNIT. Then, after we were done with them, we would wipe their memories and dump them on your little planet."

The Brigadier remained skeptical. "And what, pray tell, made you change your mind?"

"That was the issue. I couldn't make up my mind. So I did this funny little ritual many different planets do involving currency whenever they can't make a decision. I believe your kind call it a 'coin flip?'" She said the two words as if they were utterly alien to her, otherwise speaking perfect English. " On one side, I would do my job. On the other, I would spare him and take... My own opportunities."

"And what opportunities would those be?"

"Simple. If he had been changed, they would have served the Time Lords for as long as they had that particular face. Then, when they regenerated, we would plop them right here, at this exact time and place for you to find. See, your planet may not be much, but it will go on to better things. Not the most outstanding record, but it is important to history that you stay afloat. And unfortunately around now is when a slew of invasions from other worlds takes place right here in Britain."

The Brigadier looked alarmed. "What? Why?"

"The answer is rather droll, I'm afraid," she replied. "One of your sports coincidentally mimic an intergalactic tragedy, and that got everyone miffed. In any case, if the Doctor wasn't here to help, someone else would simply have to take his place. I suppose, in a way, I am being both noble and selfish. Noble in that I am helping your primitive kind with no real reward on my part, selfish in the sense that I get to take the glory the Doctor would receive for myself. I always did wonder what it would be like to go rogue like he would. Although Rassilon knows where he'll end up now. Not even the Time Lords know where he ended up. A shame, really. I could have toyed with him to my heart's content."

"Ma'am, you are not making a good case for yourself as to why our organization should entertain the notion of letting you help us."

"I suppose that the idea of time being at stake is a bit too..." She paused to think of the word. "Abstract, for a species still in its primitive stages. So what if I break a few rules for you, hmm? It was only thanks to my efforts they were even able to find the Doctor anyways."

"What rules?"

"The ones keeping me from giving you a bit of Time Lord tech."

This caused some interest, and it was quite visible on the Brigadier's face.

"Not time travel, obviously. You have to find that on your own, you're not quite ready for it yet. No, but I can give you some other tech. Want to solve a housing crisis or to make espionage even more viable? I could show you how the Doctor's little box can be bigger on the inside. Need to pick some locks? Sonic technology would do you well. Want some extra funding and Great Britain is giving you a V-sign? Sell a life through regeneration to an aging old billionaire in secret. And, to improve matters, you get free protection from alien threats."

The Brigadier pondered this. "You must be getting at something, aren't you? There's something you want you're not telling me."

The woman looked nonplussed, as if expecting this. "I suppose you have a point. What I want is simple. It's just to make sure history keeps going along like it should, along with the added benefit of the gratitude of a planet. Of course, my stories can't be told until after I've left, to ensure the rest of my kind aren't able to find me, but I'm willing to deal with glory after the fact. And, I won't lie. Having an ally in one of Earth's most prestigious empires will be quite the benefit of its own."

The Brigadier squinted. "I don't suppose you'll try to 'change my mind' if I refuse?"

The woman chuckled again. "Of course I won't, Brigadier. I mean you no harm, truly. Besides, I wouldn't be able to do anything of the sort to a creature incapable of regeneration, so as long as you don't do anything stupid like equip your soldiers with regenerative abilities I wouldn't even be able to change the mind of a fly."

The Brigadier weighed his options for a moment. "Alright, we'd be happy to work with you on one condition."

The woman seemed amused. "And what would that be?"

The Brigadier smiled, oddly enough. "You work with a fine young lady I know named Elizabeth Shaw, one of our top scientists. I'm sure you'll get along swimmingly."

For the first time through the entire conversation, the woman seemed caught off-guard. "That seems reasonable. I suppose you're playing the same game you accuse me of playing?"

The Brigadier smirked. "I assure you, Miss... What do I call you?"

"Nevermore."

"...Odd name."

"Well, it's certainly better than just my title, now isn't it?"

"Well Miss Nevermore, I can assure you I have nothing sinister planned. You have my word as an Englishman and as a brigadier. Do I have your word?"

The woman paused for a moment. "Yes, you have my word as a Gallifreyan and as a Time Lord."

The Brigadier smiled. "Well, Miss Shaw will likely meet you in the UNIT laboratory. I bid you good day, miss Nevermore."

"Good day, Brigadier."

And with that, she left his office. The Brigadier exhaled a sigh of relief, taking out a strange letter he received that morning from his uniform. The letter was not only strange in its contents, but how it was delivered. A dove was in his office for whatever reason with the note wrapped around its leg. Its borders were decorated with golden apples and it read...

To the prettiest one,
Upon this your world's future depends
The lonely Raven needs some friends
Twist and turns are her master plan
So make twists for her, and she'll help where she can

He sighed again, this time in exasperation. He had his work cut out for him, and he knew for a fact he wouldn't be paid enough for what he was going to have to do to keep this "Nevermore" in line.

He hoped he could do enough.

Author's Note:

Again, apologies for the wait. The next chapter will be an epilogue for this tale, though it won't be the end of this series with any hope.

Comments

[Haradion]

Well. Thats intriguing. Something odd about Rarity.

And the Raven turning up again. She is intriguing too.

I have to say I'm rather hooked.

[AceFurryTrash]

I wait for months or years between chapters. Don't worry about it no need to appologise.