1 - Conundrum
In front of her sat two explosives, their fuses ignited long before that precarious point in time.
Twilight’s eyes flickered between the two of them as she cautiously measured their yield, lips curved awkwardly in worried concentration. The multi-roomed tent around her rose a fair few degrees in temperature, her body an uncomfortable beacon of heat.
She inwardly wondered which to defuse first. Logically, she knew that the one on the right would be nothing short of catastrophic if it were to detonate, but something about the sheer possibility of the leftmost bomb going off made her skin crawl. She shifted in her seat uncomfortably as she considered their inner workings. Her eyes danced between them, both of their wiring and circuitry akin to an alien language in the face of her Equestrian optimism.
‘How do I do this?’ she wondered, beads of turmoil pooled on her raised brow. ‘How do I get out of this without any collateral damage?’
The steady, unyielding ticking of the clock on the wall proved an ill backdrop for her frenetic thoughts, but she knew that she would have to make a decision eventually. A deep breath, held unknowingly, exited her lungs. It tainted the open air with her unease.
As she stood, defiant of any outcome but the most ideal, her hooves almost imperceptibly shook underneath her, as if they would no longer support such a fear-addled body. In as even a tone as she could muster, she willed herself to speak.
“She’s going to help run the tent.”
In the blink of an eye, each bomb’s fuse shortened considerably. Twilight winced as the rightmost explosive rose to her hooves, her eyes wild with displeasure.
“I beg your pardon?” Chrysalis asked, distraught. “Not only do I have to be some lowly merchant in this miserable tradition of pointless festivities, I have to do it with… with him?!”
She pointed, aghast, at the bomb to Twilight’s left, whose frown deformed his entire face. With crossed arms, he leaned forward, his elbows propped against his knees.
“No,” Anon said plainly. “Not a chance, Twilight.”
Ouch. He never called her that, not since she first met him.
She started to wince, to shrink back into herself, but something newly within her rose up into her chest; a princess’s conviction. It had always been there, but after the acquisition of her wings, it had grown exponentially.
“I’m sorry, but that’s how this has to happen. This is a perfect opportunity for the both of you to work past your differences, and for Chrysalis to take an important next step toward her reformation!”
Indignation warped their faces. Their fuses whipped about, racing to their terminus.
“Twilight, she vaporized a third of my house during her last attempt at an invasion,” Anon explained, a bulging vein in his forehead.
She knew that, of course; she was the one being fired at, after all. She apologized to Anon a million times over that day, but thankfully, he never blamed her for any of it.
“You’re lucky that’s all I had time to do,” Chrysalis growls.
Chrysalis, to her credit, had made gargantuan strides in her journey toward reformation since her capture. In the beginning, she refused to speak at all, and would lash out at anypony that dared come close to her cell. The reminiscence of her progress is what kept Twilight confident as her focused stare traded blows with Anon’s scowl.
“That’s why you’re the perfect candidate for this,” she explains. “Making amends is one of the most important things a pony can learn to do, and it’s essential to making sure friendships stay afloat in tough times.”
Anon sighed as he held his head in his hands.
“I mean, yeah, that’s fine and dandy, but you’re missing a pretty important part of the equation. We aren’t-”
“I will never be friends with this unruly ape!” Chrysalis shouted as the magic suppression ring on her horn glowed under strain. “Not after his abhorrent actions toward the Hive.”
Anon picked his head up slowly, the vein on his head far more pronounced. His cold, almost frightening gaze scanned her for a few moments before returning to Twilight, settling on an honest attempt at neutrality.
“…Yeah. That.”
The memory of the incident, fresh in Twilight’s mind, contorted her face into a grimace as she cast her eyes elsewhere.
Because Anon’s house was a recent addition to the outer edge of Ponyville, Chrysalis’s drones missed it during their initial sweep and had to double back after most of the ponies had been captured. He didn’t exactly appreciate being woken up in the middle of his midday nap, halfway restrained with changeling goop. She wasn’t there for it at that point, since she hadn’t broken out of captivity yet, but she did read the reports of what happened afterward.
Gardening tools, scrap metal shavings, a welding mask, hairspray, a lighter… whatever must have been in reach for him. Every unorthodox implement that somehow found its way into Anon’s hands culminated in just over two dozen injured changelings, four of which ended up in the hospital. In the end, it took eight of them to finally restrain him enough so that he could be drained.
Twilight had asked him about it once during lunch, to which he dryly replied that his uncle ‘taught him some things he’d never forget.’ She would always be close friends with Anon, but after that day, the light in which she viewed the mostly-gentle giant would never be quite the same again.
Now, though, that would work to her advantage.
“I understand that the two of you have… less than favorable history,” she says, “but think of what you may stand to gain. Sometimes, a rocky start may lead to a wonderful friendship. Look at Discord and Fluttershy!”
Chrysalis scoffed, slinking back down into her wooden chair.
“I don’t intend on becoming anything like that lap dog, Sparkle.”
Twilight can’t help but glower at her hard-headed insult. Discord was like that, too, at first… but she kept that to herself for the time being.
“The fact that you think he’s a ‘lap dog’ says more about you than it does him,” Anon retorts, arms crossed as he leans back.
Chrysalis’s glare was an enchantment away from shooting daggers straight through his head.
“At least I can say something of him,” she says lowly, words dripping with venom. “I can’t think of a single notable thing about you.”
“Twenty six of your drones would disagree.”
Before another hastily-concocted provocation could pass between them, Twilight forced their chairs apart with magic, holding them tight to their seats as they sailed in opposite directions across the tent.
“Enough,” she declared, her wings flaring in authority. “Trading insults back and forth isn’t productive for anypony here.”
Doubt crossed her mind but briefly. Anon needed all hooves - hands - on deck to make sure he was able to put out plates of food at a decent pace, and Chrysalis had to play along to eventually walk free. Both hesitant to accept the other, yet both with an ultimate goal that required their cooperation.
The possibility of their interaction being naught more than transactionary lied at the forefront of her mind. Had she made an oversight…?
…Well, even if she did, the situation didn’t leave any room for corrections. For better or worse, the two were stuck together. Twilight just hoped that her initial intuition would pay off.
“Celestia sent a few senior members of the Royal Guard to make sure things go smoothly,” Twilight explained, giving neither of them time for a smart reply. “They’re waiting outside right now. I have to help Mayor Mare organize the main event, but I’ll swing by to try a veggie burger whenever we take a break for lunch.”
“You better,” Anon replied, the ghost of a smile on his lips. “You’ve been talking about trying them for weeks. ‘Sides, you owe me now.”
Guilt began to gnaw away at her. In the end, she did spring this on him.
“I know,” she replied, a smile beset against her fear of failure.
She glanced up at the clock - it was almost time to begin preparations. Swiftly, she made her way over to Anon, who sat up a bit straighter as she approached.
“If you need anything, just place this in the center of your palm and squeeze.” A flourish of her pinkish aura lit the room as she manifested a small coin in front of her.
Anon tentatively plucked it out of its uncanny stillness in the air and passed his fingers over the raised, metal imprint of Twilight’s trio of stars.
“Well, this is new,” he said. “What is it?”
“It doesn’t have a name just yet,” Twilight explained, “But it’s something I’ve been working on for the past few weeks. If something happens and we’re separated, you can envelop the coin in your natural magical signature, and it’ll resonate with my cutie mark. It’s a bit similar to how the map works, but just distinct enough to where I can tell the difference. The girls all have their own, too.”
Anon frowned as he flipped the coin over with his fingers.
“And palming the thing accounts for me not being able to actually use magic?”
She confirmed his curiosity with a curt nod.
“Even if you have no way to use it, you still have a natural aura, just like everypony else.”
Anon’s eyebrows lifted slightly, lips pursed in acknowledgement.
“Fair enough,” he said, pocketing the new invention before a restrained look of horror flashed in his eyes. “Please tell me it doesn’t make your butt vibrate like that map does.”
Twilight’s laughter filled the tent.
“No, I was able to circumvent that. I just wish there were a way to get around it whenever the map calls one of us.”
“If you’re both finished,” Chrysalis interjected from across the room, “I’d quite like to get this over with, thank you.”
What smithereens of Anon’s smile did exist were promptly erased as reality spoke aloud once more. Twilight hoped to keep him in relatively high spirits as she did her best to remain chipper.
“I wouldn’t be so hasty, Chrysalis. You might end up enjoying yourself after all - Anon is one heck of a chef!”
Chrysalis didn’t dignify her with a response, and opted instead to stare at some fixed point against the tent wall.
“I mean, I only really know how to make a few things somewhat decently,” Anon replied bashfully. “But thanks, Twi. Means a lot, coming from you.”
When the nickname she had become so used to finally left his mouth, she beamed from ear to ear. With one hoof raised, she met Anon in a tight hug that lasted a few moments before they both separated.
“I expect both of you to be on your best behavior,” she said with authority as her gaze passed between the both of them. “No shenanigans, alright?”
“Okay, mom,” Anon teased.
Twilight stuck her tongue out at him before looking over at Chrysalis, who met her eyes with barely restrained irritation.
“Of course,” she replies flatly.
Twilight wasn’t quite satisfied with the terse nature of her reply, but it would have to do.
“I’ll leave you two to get started, then. I hope the both of you have a wonderful Summer Sun Celebration!”
As she navigated her way out of the sizable tent, passing by Anon’s grills and other cooking utensils, she did her best to stow her uncertainty deep within her anxious bones.
Anon sighed, filling the dead air within the tent with his exasperation. ‘How’d it ever end up like this?’ he thought.
The whole thing, being one of the food vendors for the Summer Sun Celebration, was supposed to be an enjoyable experience. Make food, make people smile, get paid, finance replacing some of his things that were destroyed in the invasion - altogether, a pleasant time.
And then his favorite purple nerd came along a few days before the festival, stating that she had some sort of “special friendship assignment” for him. She wouldn’t tell him what it was, either, which set off some alarm bells in his head.
He trusted her, though, so he went along with whatever she had in mind. She’d never steered him wrong before; this wouldn’t be so bad, right?
When she showed up outside of his vendor tent accompanied by the reason his house was in shambles, though, Anon’s faith in the situation died. Even as he stood in the uncomfortable silence of his tent, watching the retinue of guards piling in through the entrance flap, it remained gone.
As they all took their positions in various points across the limited work space, he looked over at the former changeling queen, still stewing in her seat. Her imposing form was, at once, diminutive against the circumstances of her presence. It was all kept in check by that ring on her horn, he supposed - the very thing that kept her from enforcing her will on the world, from shifting into another form and wreaking havoc.
If only the device could keep her ego in check as well. Anon begrudgingly steeled himself for the day to come.
“Have you ever cooked anything before?” Anon asked, picking up a checklist from the vendor table at the front of the tent.
Chrysalis, in near disbelief, sized Anon up.
“Changelings don’t require physical sustenance,” she deadpanned. “We feed off of emotions.”
“I’m familiar. Doesn’t tell me whether you’ve ever been curious enough to try it, though.”
A few moments of silence pass between them as Anon finishes reading through his list, glancing back at the rear area of the tent where the coolers were.
“No,” Chrysalis said plainly.
“You’re lucky I happened to bring the recipe card, then.”
Anon fished it out of his pocket, uncrumpling it as best as he could before walking over and handing it to her, only for her to stare at it silently for a few moments as the suppression ring glowed a sickly green. An exasperated sigh ejected itself from her nostrils as she made the realization that she would have to use her hoof to grab it, which she did in short order, borderline snatching it out of Anon’s hand to read it.
“Get familiar with the ingredients,” Anon ordered, flat and direct. “I’ll be doing most of the actual cooking. You’re the sous chef, helping out whenever I need it.”
As she looked up from the card, Anon bore witness to the fires of resentment, hiding just behind her slitted pupils. Forcing a smile, she deigned to speak.
“Of course,” she said, saccharine sweet words dripping with feigned positivity. “I only hope that, through our partnership, I can learn more about friendship from one of Twilight’s trusted companions.”
Anon eyed Chrysalis coldly from the corner of his vision.
“No, you don’t.”
Her smile dropped from her features, but before she could follow up with any retort, Anon continued.
“You’re not actually trying to learn anything about friendship. You’re here because if you keep in line with this ‘reformation’ stuff long enough, you’ll go free. It’s nothing more or less than that.”
Her eyes narrow at him.
“If you assume that of me, then why agree to any of this?”
“Because I trust Twilight,” he replied. “Even if I think she’s wrong.”
Chrysalis chuckled, amused.
“How paradoxical. You trust her, but hold the opinion that I’m beyond redemption?”
“I trust that she knows what she’s doing,” Anon replied, fully facing Chrysalis with a cool glare. “But I’ve known people like you before. You don’t want to change.”
Anon made for the rear of the tent to start unpacking the ingredients, but stopped just before he crossed the threshold.
“So let’s not pretend like we care about each other. I would rather just get this over with.”
Without waiting for her reply, he stepped into the back, and Chrysalis was left sitting with the plethora of unmoving guards.
An odd, warped frown took hold of her features, surprised by Anon’s jaded condemnation. She hadn’t intended to hide her true intentions in the first place, but being called out on it so brazenly was a decidedly new experience, especially from an Equestrian.
Regaining her composure, she stood, content that she wouldn’t have to feign anything with this creature.
“I couldn’t agree more.”
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Well, this Anon actually sounds like a real, cynical, tired human being, rooted in the reality of the human world, and not a caricature of one, with one of his personality traits turned up to 11. This promises to be interesting.
Curiosity piqued
Loving this. My favorite part is, as another commenter put it, how real Anon seems. Equestria's optimistic idealism clashes with his cynicism, and even the villains are surprised by it. I eagerly await more.
I have to applaud your writing here. Your narration, your prose, your descriptions - itʼs all very well crafted. I like it.
Chrysalis is definitely gonna makes thing inconvenient for Anon and Anon is gonna tolerate 0 shit shutting it down with cold hard cynicism
Shenanigans are about to follow and I'm all for it
11895065
Wait, holy shit, that's what's gonna push Chrysalis into actually trying, isn't it? The easiest way to get her to apply herself to the redemption thing is to stick her next to someone that believes with absolute certainty that she will not put any effort in. It's not a matter of if she wants to at that point, she'll do it just to spite him and all his cynicism. Assuming that's true... wow.
Well played, Twilight!
11895131
If you can't make them friendship turn their spite into friendship
11895131
A heaping helping of spite, with just a pinch of curiosity
"Don't tell me what I want!"
Yeah, I can see that actually working.
Bruh...yes