Page generated in 0.113 seconds
Total duration
826 users online
630,602 hits today, 1,943,222 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Nice.
But complete already? come on :D
Interesting you could easily make this into a full out story.
I must agree with the previous comments.
Very nice story.
it's drab
"Not you five." she murmured.
licked her long fangs, clicking her tongue.
"So, are you going to say something?" (Odd spacing here. Might be a rule I'm not familiar with. If so, please explain.)
” You're still my friends, as cheesy as it may sound." (There's a random quotation in this sentence. Remove it.)
Thanks, Rainbow Dash.” she said softly.
it’s cloud covers now
“Yer too kind, Rainbow.” she chittered
the pegasus turned Changeling (Don't capitalize changeling) “Now that I know of six more Changelings...”
leaving only a cloud of black smoke in it’s place.
You also start by italicizing thoughts, but proceed to ignore that for the rest of the story, right up until the very end. I'd suggest fixing that.
Wait, what? You never enabled editing on that GDoc //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Derpy_Hooves.png
Okay, but not great. I can't put a finger on what's wrong with it though. For one thing it's too short. For another, we are left wondering what happened. If I were you, I'd add a chapter and expand your story. But that is if I were you. Thumbs up from me anyway!
I though it will be some story what was written thousand times but uhh im wordless xD It was just random
1444540
Looks like the plot...
forum.jargam.es/uploads/profile/photo-16440.png?_r=0
Just thickened.
th04.deviantart.net/fs71/200H/f/2012/088/d/6/horse_power_by_moonbrony-d4ualv3.png
oh wow, another "everyone turns out to be changelings" story... like this hasn't been done to death already. le sigh...
1445129
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw7484-8947726358762345.png
Just a few mistakes that need fixing. This story'd be fine.
1445129
Have to agree. There's almost no story aside from "Hey guys we're changelings too", and that part isn't even executed in a way that feels like a story. It's rushed, lacking context, and generally uninteresting. The "surprise" falls flat, having nothing preceding it to build suspense or contrast it against the rest of the story, and the last little bit at the end it just gratuitous at best.
Sorry, but I have to dislike it.
1444714 I want to give you the biggest hug right now.
Could have easily made this several chapters long. The mechanics of this story is good, but i guess the story itself could have been better
This could be a full story.
Overally good, but way too short. Reading it felt like reading a summary. Also, thanks to everything happening so fast, everyone seems to be written a bit out of character. Even if whole mane six were changelings, they would be shocked to see the rest of their friends as chengelings, if they thought they are normal ponies.
This is good idea, but needs to be more expanded.
1444714 Meep ._.
Why does the description still say I edited this?
Finally got around to reading this, don't regret anything.
Great story. I think that it would be really cool to read a sequel to this with a bunch of chapters. Keep up the great writing!