A stallion is enjoying an evening at a bar when his behavior catches the attention of two of the apple siblings. Can he talk his way out of the situation? Can he even talk?
A one-shot as a test to see if it's possible to write a character with no dialogue, when others don't strictly understand him. 'Other' because the mute stallion isn't an OC strictly speaking.
...okay.
If you want my honest opinion...
The ending was anti-climactic.
It was a bit too short.
The stranger is too undeveloped.
You need an editor.
All in all, I think it could use a monkey wrench.
However, I can edit it for you, if you just send me a PM.
Well I liked it for a experiment, good job.