Rainbow Dash begins looking for romance, seeking advice from all of her friends, But Applejack's a little on edge, and nopony seems convinced that Rainbow knows what she's doing. Will this end in heartbreak or a happy ending? And will Princess Celestia ever get to banish somepony to the moon?
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damn, this is long..... gonna save this for later.
imma say it right now! fuck i forgot, good story though!
That. Was. Awesome.
I was a little confused as to why AJ was so mad, but other than that, I think the story worked wonderfully.
I agree that Applejack's anger was a little unexplained. I assume it was because she liked Rainbow already but didn't know how to deal with the feeling, but considering how forward she was later the anger just seems a tad mis-placed.
Fantastic story besides.
221956
I love you avater picture, mostly cause of the face hoof
Great story! Definatly 5/5 and and watching.
AJ's rage= SHIT JUST GOT REAL
That was fantastic. I loved it. The added bits with Luna and big sister Celestia were just icing on the cake. Lol.
I was kinda hoping for multichapter, but I guess that might've taken away from it eventually. Left me wanting more, which was worth it. Well-written pomance is always good to read. I'm guessing AJ's anger was because she thought Dash had already found someone else and she was upset about it? AJ liking Dash was pretty obvious from the get-go, so it only seemed logical that she figured that Dash's revelation was tied to Dash FINDING a mare.
(I'm thinking this mainly because it reminds me of how Ron and Hermione from the Harry Potter series each acted when the other was seeing someone - Ron got really smartassed and sarcastic, and Hermione got extremely upset and jealous.)
Great story, 5 stars from me.
-Spoilers- even if no one on this site ever does this I still feel bad commenting with story in it.
I do believe her anger was due to the whole prospect of the meal from a romantic interest and then having been pushed back into the friend zone.
Also I love how Celestia was portrayed.
(Take this entirely in the spirit of constructive criticism, as I too loved the story; I laughed, I cried, I gave it a 4/5)
I feel like where this story let me down is the characterization. To be honest, the only characters who I didn't at least once think weren't acting like themselves were Rainbow herself, Twilight, and those who don't have well-established personalities in the series. Don't get me wrong, I think all of the characters were internally consistent within the frame of the story, I just wasn't convinced that they were canon-consistent. And although AJ's behavior in the whole situation might be explainable, it isn't really explained, so I was with those above in being somewhat befuddled by it.
On positive notes, Ditzy/Derpy's character had such a tragic innocence she made me want to cry [“No, Rainbow is different. She’s not sad.”
]. The pacing was (mostly) great. And the comic relief was perfectly interspersed to keep the story lively without going overboard.
Freaking amazing! (I would give you 5 stars, but they seem to be replaced with thumbs
) Well whatever, it was awesome anyway!
I loved the Derpy/Ditzy part... It was so sad.
I really liked the way her character came out, or how you wrote her. It made me love that crazy pegasus 1000 times over! She was just so sweet... it made me sniffle 
(and I'm a rock hard b*** who didn't even cry at her cousin's funeral >.<)
The only let down in this was the unexplained anger from Applejack.... I mean, what? I understand she had a good reason for going off like that, but I feel it could have been explained a little bit more... y'know? Like if you didn't have her suddenly so forward when she kissed Dash? yea, I would have liked to see some hesitance, or something. (This is just my opinion, though. You can choose to ignore it.)
Overall.....an amazing peice of writing that I will now go on to fave and send to my Fanfic buddy.
I really loved this story, I must say. I suppose I may have enjoyed it more than some others because it resonated almost perfectly with my head canon, where Dash is the youngest of the mane six, excessively single-minded and more than likely quite dense when it comes to things she's not explicitly interested in. I suppose all this could just be a justification of me finding clueless Dash frickin' adorable, so take it for what it's worth.
But yeah, thanks for a nice, long, character-driven Appledash fiction that was well paced, fairly well restrained, and overall very nice and heartwarming and to my mind, plausible within the general fanon.
Awesome story!
Also compliments for how you portrait Luna. Most versions of her are very Mary Sue like, but yours comes off as a smart mare who has made her mistakes.
This was excellent! Finding a well written Appledash fic is always a great surprise, so thanks for that. I basically agree with everything Mihail Frost said. I found it kind of funny that almost everpony seemed to have a hint that Applejack had a crush on Dash except Dash herself. Nice work
I liked the romance, but the ending made my day!
How do I put this...? There are problems with this fic, particularly with characterization. What I mean is, there are simply some things that some of these characters do that they just ... wouldn't do in-canon. The ending scene, for example. I know it was probably meant for a dash of humor to end the piece on a high-note, which is fine, but the fact that the rest of the story, everypony else stuck pretty strictly to how they would act in the show kind of derailed the last fifth of the tale. There's also a problem with Applejack when she first reacts the way she does to Rainbow's news of being a filly-fooler. It comes across to me as out-of-character, but it's also never really clarified WHY she acts that way to begin with. Is she angry because Rainbow didn't tell her first? Is she angry at the concept? Is she angry at the sudden twist in how she views her friend? We need a little dialogue in their next scene together to specify.
Now for the things I liked. First, this is an AppleDash fiction, and I always enjoy an AppleDash fiction. It feels like the two have a lot of sexual tension in the show, and I think they, as a pairing, make more sense than most others. In addition--and my most favorite thing ABOUT this piece--is that you didn't jump right into Rainbow or Applejack's "crush" as if it were always there. You didn't cop out of explaining where it came from--you explored it in-depth. You showed us the process by which Rainbow Dash came to BE in-love with Applejack. There was no "Rainbow had always secretly loved Applejack" here that totally kills my interest. They start OFF as friends, and only gradually do they become something a little bit more than that. The only part that really let me down was when Applejack was suddenly made "okay" with this new development in the relationship. The turmoil she's supposed to feel doesn't really last very long--it just sort of ends after Rainbow confesses her love to her.
As for the rest of the characters throughout, there definitely was some strict characterization. A lot of the dialogue would have been worded differently on the show, but I was able to twist it around enough in my mind to see each character saying their lines in-character on the show. Admittedly, the show wouldn't exactly deal with a homosexual relationship, but we'll overlook that fact for the moment.... Aside from the end when you made out Celestia to be this crazy-overprotective sister, and Luna the rational, calm, and demure one, you managed to keep everypony pretty well-grounded in what they were to begin with. The grammar was pretty good, the writing pace was brisk, but not too much so--except in a spot or two--and there was a basic structure to the story. The introduction, which gives us the characters, the setting, and the problem; the rising action, where the hero (in this case, Rainbow) tries to resolve the problem; and the climax, where the problem is--or isn't--resolved. In truth, "not having a girlfriend" isn't MUCH of a problem but it's enough to move the story along.
Overall, tended to like the beginning of the story more than I did towards the end. It was a good read, but there was more that could have been done, and things that could have been done BETTER. That isn't to say it's not worth reading, mind you--you wrote something lengthy (Not necessary to be a "good" story, but it doesn't hurt either), you wrote something interesting, and you managed to keep your readers hooked through most of it. Those are the basic foundations of good storytelling. There's more that you could explore doing in your next work, but you have a solid foundation to work with from there.
-TwilightUCrazy
Um, why was Applejack angry at the thank-you dinner?
Care to explain?
Other than that, nice story :)
This story was pretty good up until the end, where I found the confession of love part to be quite anti-climatic to be honest. Also, as others have said, AJs anger is never explained so I'm not quite sure of the reason for it.
Other than that though, I enjoyed it. I would advise splitting the story into several chapters though, so that it's easier to read for some.
damn, i wanna see what celestia gonna do!!!
Ah, this story again! I remember reading it on fanfiction.net forever ago. Good read.
Lmao!!! "Not even a little bit!
There's a concept I hadn't come across yet...I like
very nice, good handle on character as well
and, well...shoot, I'm a sucker for a good ship fic
So is AJ useing the name Dashie a clue to the princess revenge?? Like a spell to mind cotrol pinkie pie and dress her up like AJ to get back rainbow at rainbow? Like the fluttershy costum. Maybe thats too mean
Oh Celestia....
In my opinion, Applejack was scared Rainbow Dash had fallen for another mare and in turned acted offensively because Applejack was secretly in love with Rainbow Dash since the beginning. Applejack showed that love as soon as Rainbow Dash said she love Applejack, Applejack then kissed her immediately. Applejack is very impatient even when it comes to her emotions, but patiently wait for Rainbow Dash to find her true self.
I don't have a book on "Flying," Rainbow. That was an funny euphemism. The only problem I saw was how easy it was for Rainbow to talk Big Mac out of the house the second time, I'd think he would be much more protective of Applejack. Applejack also did come out of the anger too easy, but I like how it ended.
Great story, I was listening to Loyalty by MandoPony & AcousticBrony, totally fits this story
Okay. It was alright mostly. The Twilight bit where she is supportive of Dash being gay is solid enough. Applejack's behavior is amusing.
But Twilight talking about her gay friends in Canterlot, then setting Rainbow Dash up with her friend... oh god. I did not see that coming, but I totally should have, and the Gilligan Cut to celestia threatening poor Rainbow Dash was completely glorious.
There needs to be a 2nd story of what celestia does!!!!!
This has become one of my favorite stories. I like everything about it. It was awesome!
I also see that Luna's not taken~
I reviewed this story as part of Recommend Story Reviews #19!
My review can be found here.