She couldn’t see.
That was the first thing that came to her mind when she tried to think. She couldn’t see. Or at least she thought she couldn’t. All around her was darkness. She could feel her eyes opening and closing, over and over again, but as much and as hard as she tried, her world of darkness stayed firmly put. Forcing herself not to panic, she bobbed her head around, thinking that perhaps it was just in that particular spot that she couldn’t see. But alas, no matter which direction she turned her head, she still couldn’t see anything.
Then she heard something. She couldn’t describe the sound exactly, but from what she could hear, it was soothing. It was a humming sound, low and raspy as it touched her ears, but it had a calming sense to it.
The small sound was welcoming to her ears, which had heard nothing but her shallow breathing up to this point. Soon, after a long, hard effort, and the help of the peaceful melody, she managed to calm her scrambling senses to a point of relative comfort, if only by a small margin. The sound rang in her ears louder now and, as if automatically, she started moving forward.
As she walked, something seemed to happen. Everything started becoming lighter. The place was still dark, however, but the space around her just seemed to go from pitch black to a dim, grey light. She smiled as she kept her pace, happy to have something other than pure darkness to keep her company. The humming, unlike the darkness, stayed the same. A low, melodic rasp. Even though it was relatively low, and she was sure that any other soul that was in her little void would not be able to hear it, she could still hear it clear as day. That thought gave her comfort, the thought in knowing she was an individual in this strange place, and that this comforting little rhythm was her own.
She kept walking, now feeling oddly relaxed in the space. As she got further and further along, however, she noticed that the light grew into somewhat of a passageway, almost like a large tunnel. However, she couldn’t see the end of it, if it even had one. The female blinked curiously as she saw the light change. It was weird though. With each step she took felt nothing underneath her hoof, if that was possible, which she was quite sure it wasn’t. She actually wasn’t sure how she was even moving. Still, she didn’t let it stop her as she moved. Keeping her steps light, just in case the thing keeping her standing collapsed, she saw the shape of the tunnel descending down the length of the large void she was in, and in return she kept following it. Still, it wasn’t like she had much of a choice.
Soon the tunnel started getting wider, and wider, and wider still, until it started getting brighter. It was then, in the middle of the bright passageway, she stopped. Maybe it was a hunch. Perhaps it was an internal voice in her head, screaming at her, but nevertheless she stopped. Something was going to happen. She was sure of it.
"Beep..." she heard. It was right in front of. Suddenly, the large light that stood before her grew brighter, and more…calming, was it? She wasn’t entirely sure, but she felt at ease in a strange way.
“Beeep…” The sound started getting louder, and more hysteric. She started hearing something else as well, but she couldn’t make out exactly what it was, but it was hysteric as well. It sounded almost like voices, though. Yet even with the beeping and the supposed voices, the calming, yet unimaginably bright light that shone before her soothed her. It made her feel safe and warm. Soon, the vast darkness around her became nothing more than a distant thought, slinking away into the deepest corners of her mind, never to be thought of again. Or at least she hoped so.
What was that? It was in her chest. Pain. That was what she felt. That was all she felt. Again and again that electric jolt shot through her chest. She gasped, and stepped back, grimacing. To her dismay, the light started fading. Her eyes widened as the comforting warmth the light brought with it started fading too. Gasping, she felt another spike of pain blossom within her. Desperate to make it stop, she closed her eyes, and clutched at her chest. After a few moments of intense agony, the light was gone. Completely and utterly gone. It was in that moment she felt crushing defeat, and, surprisingly, another sensation. It was warm, hot, sticky, and it was running down her face. Her breathing hitched and her knees collapsed, buckling underneath her scant body weight.
And there, in that void of black, the grey feeling of loneliness washed over her, engulfing her in its cold, unforgiving hands.
“Is she…? Is she waking up?” a dreary yet hopeful voice broke the silence that had made itself known to her.
She grimaced as she turned her head weakly, flopping it against a light fluffy solid. Funny, it almost felt like a pillow.
“Dashie?”
Rainbow Dash turned to the sound of the voice. Unfortunately, she still couldn’t see. Groaning, she forced her mouth to make words, but those premature murmurs were stopped by a professional sound.
“Don’t speak,” a male voice told her. Barely able to think, and not wanting to argue and make her head hurt more, she begrudgingly closed her mouth and turned her head back. Then the voice spoke again. “You’ve been unconscious for a while, Rainbow Dash. But, it could have well been a lot longer.”
She groaned at the news. It hadn’t answered any of the questions swirling around in her mind, and only made her head hurt. Deciding for herself that she could speak again, she forced her mouth to move, and this time words roughly slipped out of her mouth,
“H…how…long?” the words sounded rough and scratchy, even for her voice. Then again, she hadn’t used it for a while.
The voice, the male, seemed taken aback, though she couldn’t imagine why. “A…around a week,” he answered,
Rainbow moaned in annoyance, thinking of all the things she might’ve missed. Suddenly, she felt a hoof on her own.
“How are you feeling, Rainbow?” Twilight Sparkle’s voice asked. The pegasus assumed that it was Twilight’s hoof touching her own.
“Like…I got hit be a train,” she muttered, grimacing. “What happened anyways?”
“You mean you don’t remember?” Pinkie asked curiously. A little step was heard after her small sentence, probably meaning that she had hopped closer to Rainbow Dash.
“Pinkie, hush!” Rarity’s fine voice scolded. “Do you really expect the poor dear, who has been comatose for a week, might I add, to remember something probably very traumatic for her?” The alabaster unicorn’s voice sounded sympathetic.
“I guess…but, a dragon attack would be kinda hard to forget, don’t you think?” Pinkie replied.
Rainbow’s body shot up, but a gentle hoof helped push her body down. “Whaddya mean a dragon attack?! What happened?! Why can’t I see?!” As she heard the words come out, she thought her voice sounded on the brink of hysteria.
“Miss Dash, please calm down,” the doctor, or at least she assumed that was who it was, urged. She grunted, but followed his instructions reluctantly.
“Okay, I’m calm. Now can you tell me what happened?” she asked impatiently, in the most peaceful voice she could manage.
“First of all, as you might’ve already guessed, you’re in the hospital.” Rainbow snorted as the doctor brought that up. “And, as Miss Pie here informed us, you did have a run-in with a dragon,” he told her.
Rainbow Dash let out a heavy sigh. “Geez…wait, who’s here right now?”
“Pinkie’s here!” said pony answered immediately.
“Ah’m ‘ere too,” a southern voice said. That was most definitely Applejack.
“And I as well.” That was Rarity.
“I’m here too,” Twilight said from beside her.
One…two…three…four. That was only four. One was missing. “Where’s Fluttershy?” she asked, turning her head in Twilight’s general direction.
“That ties in with the dragon attack,” the doctor answered. “Are you sure you don’t remember?”
Rainbow Dash thought. What had happened? She felt like she should remember, but no immediate details came to her. Sure some did, like a dragon was in the Everfree Forest, and some other foggy details pushing themselves out of the haze of her subconscious, but that was it. These events they were listing off were almost completely foreign to her. Panic then rushed itself into her mind.
“Wait, is she okay? Where is she?” Rainbow asked quickly, concerned for her friends’ well-being.
“She’s fine, thanks to you, Dashie,” Pinkie told her happily.
Rainbow breathed out a small sigh of relief. In this jumbled state of confusion, it was nice to have something that she was sure of. Then a thought came to her. The thought burned, almost as if an open flame had lit itself inside her skull. It burned brightly, and made itself known very well. Then that thought led to another, and another. Soon, a whole scene was playing inside her mind. Going to Fluttershy’s and talking for a while before a loud crash broke the comfortable silence around them.
“Fluttershy!” she had yelled. “Get out of here!”
“But, Rainbow-”
“Go!”
“Rainbow? Are you alrigh’?” Applejack asked. She heard hoofsteps coming closer.
The pegasus grit her teeth as her muscles tensed up. More memories came rushing at her. The image of a dragon appeared, then fire. It was everywhere, all that she could see. She could only see fire, and even worse, it was heading straight at Fluttershy. Said pegasus was frozen to the spot, seemingly paralyzed with fear. Suddenly, the split-second decision was made, and in a heartbeat the cerulean pegasus was in between the line of fire and her friend. Then a burning, a white hot burning. She remembered she was foolish enough to open her eyes, and she saw a beautiful purple light descending upon the flames.
That was when she must’ve blacked out.
“Wait…” she said slowly.
The noise that was there a few seconds ago stopped and the room fell silent.
“Why can’t I see?” The sentence was slow and precise.
“…” A sigh. “I might as well get down to the point. Now, I assume you know enough about the dragon attack?” the doctor asked her.
“Well, when it happened, you were burned. Badly. It…actually killed you.”
That was new. “So, you mean I was…?”
“Dead. Yes, you were dead,” he finished for her. “But, thanks to Miss. Sparkle, you’re still with us.”
Rainbow made a mental note to thank Twilight later. For now, she let the doctor finish his explanation.
“However, there was one…consequence, for lack of a better explanation, of the method she used.” Another pause. Then a deep breath. “I hate to say this, Miss Dash, and I’m truly sorry, but…I’m afraid you will no longer be able to see,” he told her, sympathy filling his professional voice.
Her heart stopped.
“Wh…what?” she gasped, a lump forming in her throat.
“The nerves behind your eyes were completely burned off. We did all we could, but even the magic we used wasn’t enough. I’m sorry, but you are blind,” he said.
She leaned her head back against the pillow and tilted her head up.
She couldn’t see. And if she couldn’t see, she couldn’t fly, and if she couldn’t fly she couldn’t join…
If you could hear the sound of a heart breaking, then a deafening shatter would be heard at that very moment, Her dreams were destroyed. She wasn’t the fastest flier in Equestria anymore. She didn’t hold that title anymore. For that title you needed to be able to see, a sense she no longer acquired. All she was now was nothing more than a helpless cripple. In a moment of bitter devastation, she felt as though the whole world had come crashing down upon her as the full reality of her situation kicked in.
She was blind.
I remember seeing the blog this was based off of.
Equally depressing.
1486893
You're a changeling correct? Okay, I have a question. Why do all changelings have a horn and wings like an alicorn?
1486901
Why do Humans have baby toes?
Like your question, I have no idea.
I rember a certain story story being featured a while ago dealing with the same topic, only that one was about twi being blinded. PLease tell me it is just a coincidence
Secondly, RD is extremely OOC! I am pretty sure she would freak out then be mad at herself for getting herself blind
Everypony sound flat when it comes to personality.
I think i wil wait and see before i decide in which direction my thumb wil point.
don't dissapoint me
Not a bad start. Hope to read more.
sidenote: where the heck does that instant downvote come from? I've seen maybe 1 fic in 50 that don't have it within moments, which is weird considering the usual ratio of positive to negative votes.
D'aww. I hope this goes places.
EDIT: inb4 featured.
The angst! The draaaaaaaaaa-*cough*
Okay it's well-written and it looks promising. I shall follow where it leads for a while.
1486915
Oh, god. Did Lyra get to you? I'm no human. I'm an asssassin. Besides, only dragons() got toes. I got no toes, I got hooves!
(I bet he didn't even call you a human..)
Shaddup, Pinkie!
I love Jyky's blog!
I thought that this story is well written so far. I will certainly be keeping my eye on this one; keep up the good work!
1486925 because some does it simply because it is "a rainbow dash story" or " it is clop". that sort of stuf.
i have to say that i am not surprised. the charracters sounded a bit flat to mee.
1486955 yay I'm your delirious
Lol joking but seriously blah goop (I have no idea dont ask)
Don't ebpven reply to this
1486915>>1486955 I may have an answer for you.
Changelings have horns, like unicorns, as a focus point for their changeling magic (feeding on emotions, shape-shifting.). Like some insects, they have wings because they may need to travel long distances to search for food. (Like bees) Both I think came about due to evolutionary demands, but are not actually related to ponies or alicorns at all.
I cant wait for the next chapter, this was perfect, keep writing.
Wow. And suddenly I wept a bit for Rainbow. *hugs the Rainbow* ;_;
1486986
I wasn't really wondering about this story in particular, but why all stories get one immediately. People are so conservative with downvotes it seems, yet every story gets one ASAP
1487411
I have wondered about that myself too. i also got 1 on my story, and i got it pretty fast. anti-bronies lurking arround? get the shotgun
OHMAIGAWD WHERE DID ALL YOU PEOPLE COME FROM. ;-;
No, I'm just kidding. Thank you so much for all this...attention! I love you all!
1486924 Oh don't worry, she will. Just wait for it. Also, I'll try not to. And, regarding the story you mentioned, that exists? I had no idea there was even a fic in existence like that until you mentioned it, so you don't have to worry about that.
Once again, thank you very much!
1488285
That's ok.
It's just that whenever a typ of fics succed a lot of half-good writers try to indirectly copy their work
YOu know that the first reaction is either anger or ging into a shock? wel, i have to read this through.
1488285 Just so you know, the other one was called Bright Eyes. You should probably check it out so that, if noting else, you don't accidentally duplicate it.
1488449 Oh, okay. Thanks for telling me. I'll try my best.
One question, What is with people and making rainbow dash blind? It all of a sudden becomes a huge thing.
I had an oddly relevant ad below this chapter:
i.imgur.com/GBDInl.png
Great start to this story! I'm keeping an eye on it.
Beautiful Please tell me you will update soon?
1488869
I just dropped my phone. Holy crap. That is relevant. Dash should try that.
1488850 Coz we're all dicks! Well I'm one anyways.
1488942 Why thank you! I'll sure try!
1486924 do you remember the name of the story?
1489093 I do believe it's in the comments somewhere. I think it's called Bright Eyes or something.
1489106 now i feel stupid, i always rush into things
1489109 No worries, man. We all do sometimes.
Like others have said, Rainbow seems oddly compliant to follow the doctor's orders... Not sure how OOC that is or not, but I know I would freak if I was blind/couldn't see. Still, you claim you have that taken care of in the second chapter, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for now...
Nice, man. Love the premise, much like I love the emotional anguish and heartbreaking despair of cute, colorful things. Needless to say, I be trackin' dis.
A little thing, though:
"Acquire" means to learn or get something. I think you meant to say "possessed" or something similar.
Other than that, good. Continue, or I will incinerate your corneas!
Blindly,
~Plyxe
I haven't read this but already I feel attached to this story. I have a feeling the pic has something to do with it...It makes me think about what I would do if I ever became blind.
BTW loved the description of the story, again, It hit me hard.
...Wow, I sound like a pussy, I'm not always this philosophical
1486901
I have an answer for you...
You have it backwards. Alicorns have wings and horns like Changelings. changelings came first, and Alicorns began to arise some time afterwards, possibly as a cultural response to a rising Changeling threat.
After all, what better way to keep such mighty forces at bay than to invent and create literal gods in your midst.
Actually, there's at least one more called A Rainbow in the Dark that has a pretty similar basis, right down to the dragon attack. For both this fic and that one I am withholding judgement until the story is further along.
1489177 Ohoho, will you now~?
Thanks so much!
1489114 Yeah, I know, I know. I'm definitely going to try to get her character down for this one.
1489198 Ah, I see. Well, I'm going to try and make this story a bit different from the others, if I can try.
I give this
MAKE MORE FLUTTERSHY COMMANDS!
1489217 Okay.
Thank you!
>>Everyone
The story everyone's talking about where Twilight is blind is IN THE COMMENTS!
1489114Hey, why'd you stop the whole third-person thing that you did? I found it rather entertaining. Anyways, I should probably read the story now. Onwards, for great justice!
Not bad, but I can tell this could be a bit better. I'm not a hater, I'm an aspiring critic, and I am actually impressed with this first chapter. By the way, when I mean "it could be better", I'm only refferring to how I have an odd sence of literature. This DOES seem to have promise, and it does have Rainbow's emotions splayed out all over it. Nicely done, but remember, not TOO good. 8.7/10
(Congrats, you just got a surprisingly high score from a very difficult-to-please analyst. Mustache for you.)
1486901
Changelings do NOT have wings and horns like Alicorns do.
Alicorns have Pegasus wings and Unicorn horns, whereas changelings have Changeling Horns and Changeling wings.
An Alicorn's wings are birdlike, they have a bone structure, a muscle structure and feathers. Changeling Wings are insect like, designed for quick and accurate movements.
An Alicorn's horn is it's gateway to it's magic within, it enables the Alicorn to manipulate the world/universe around them by transferring the energy of their magic supply through filters known as 'Spells'. A common changeling horn is more for attack, as the common changelings don't have the magic reservoir in order to filter the right amount for spells, the only 'spell' they have is their natural changing (ing not ling) abilities, through a fire-like method. The changeling can also manipulate this fire-like ability in order to form a cone around them, so they can ram more efficiently.
The common changeling relies on natural ability rather than their own magic. However, this, is for the common changeling, not the queen.
It can be implied that the changeling race runs on a 'hive-mind' system, with their Queen Chrysalis at the top. The love that the changelings gather is their life support and their energy, but all this energy goes right to the queen, whom then disperses it the way she pleases. As the queen is the only changeling that is able to tap into the reservoir of magic, she is the only one that can filter it.
Accusing the Changelings of having Alicorn features is like accusing a Lemon of having Lime features.
>> I stopped it back quite awhile ago when I realized just how much easier it was for me to come off as arrogant, and/or open my mouth and insert hoof. Yeah, it was fun, but it kind of also stopped once 'Magical Trevor' was no longer R63 Trixie. Despite my having made the character, Conner Cogsworth used the name 'Presto' instead, so fewer people were willing to believe that Magical Trevor was the REAL R63 Trixie, even though I had made him months before that chapter in On a Whisper of Wind, just because his fic was so widely read. ~_~ So yeah, between people calling Magical Trevor a rip-off/wannabe, and having people misunderstand my comments, I just decided to give up. It just... wasn't worth it...
Why isn't Chapter 2 up yet?
1489316
Of course Discord would be the one to know this. After all he is the one who got himself encased in stone.
If you have the ability to, change your description. It is simply not good for a serious story like this. The tone you wrote in isFdescF more suitable for a comedy.
1489310 Yes. Yes it is.
1489315 Yay!
1489358 Because I haven't written it yet. But have no fear, it shall come up. sooner or later.
1489316 Seems legit.
1489373 Hmm, I'll keep it the same. It goes into more lighthearted material a little bit later. Thank you for your input.
Ohgosh, a story that was half based off of a picture I drew is in the featured box.. damn
That's just amazing
Happy to see this is getting so much attention now, it is really well done <3
And yeah, this is 8-Xenon-8
in case you were wondering
1489380 AMGHAI!
And thank you very much! Glad to know you're on here!
1489396 Heyy xD
You're welcome! And yeah, I'm secretly all over the internet >u>
I'm always on FiMFiction, I need my daily dose of fanfics