You hear a loud crash in the kitchen just as you finish filling the bathtub. You jump at the sudden noise, and face palm when you put two and two together and realize what had caused it. "Scootaloo..." you grumble under your breath as you leave the bathroom to confront the orange filly.
When you enter the kitchen in Scootaloo's house, the first thing you notice is the disaster area in which sat a large pile of pots, pans and, sticking out of the pile, a blue wooden scooter. And sitting on top of that scooter was a little pegasus filly, a bit dazed after her big crash. Thankfully, you notice, she was wearing her helmet and was therefore unharmed by the falling cookware.
Scootaloo shakes her head and looks up at you, instantly smiling and blushing in embarrassment and guilt. You shake your own head and frown, in partial humor of the filly's klutziness and energy. "What am I going to do with you?" you sigh while walking over to clean the mess. You pick up the orange filly and place her next to you while you replace all of the pots and pans back to their respective places on the kitchen rack.
After you place the last pan on the last hook, you turn to Scootaloo and ask her to put back her scooter. The filly obeys, taking off her helmet and putting it on the handle bars. Once she's done bringing her instrument of speed to her room, she returns to the kitchen to receive further instruction from you.
Satisfied that everything was set in the bathroom (as far as you remembered) and throughout the house, you have Scootaloo follow you. Leading her to her bath, you only have to open the bathroom door to enable her to walk in. She looks up to the bathtub and instantly regrets following you, running towards the door in a last attempt to avoid bathing. You shut the door just before she's able to leave, causing her to comically run face-first into it. She removes herself from the door unharmed, but very grumpy.
"Come on now, Scoot," you say to her in an attempt to cheer her up. Nothing changes in the filly's expression. Suddenly, an idea comes to your mind. "I once bathed Rainbow Dash..." you say coaxingly. Scootaloo looks up in awe, not bothering to question the truth behind your words. "See, even the greatest flyer in Equestria needs baths."
Scootaloo gives in and walks over to the tub so you could put her in. You lift her up and drop her into the bath, causing her to slightly splash the water. She doesn't mind that you hadn't simply placed her in; in fact, she seemed to enjoy the little fall.
You grab the shampoo and squirt a palmful in your hand, ready to start. You place the soapy hand on top of Scootaloo's short mane and begin to lather it throughout. Scootaloo doesn't hesitate letting you clean her, fully confident that the very person who washed Rainbow Dash's mane could effectively wash her own. This only takes a short moment before it's time to rinse out the purple hair.
Dipping both of your hands into the tub water, you pick up a fair sized amount and bring it over the filly's head. You release the water and let it fall down on the soapy hair. Scootaloo remains neutral to the bathing and too lets the water fall on her head. You finish a moment later, your elbows feeling a bit sore because you had rested them on the tub's rim.
You remove your elbows from the side and reach over to the feather shampoo next to Scootaloo. You pour some of the odd-smelling gel into your opposite palm and start working it through Scootaloo's orange wings. You massage her muscles while you're at it, figuring that she would enjoy it. And as you suspected, she allowed (no, wanted) you to do so, a smile of relief coming across her face. Even though you had no wings of your own, you could only imagine the stress of moving them constantly in order to gain speed on a scooter. It was also now that you sort of pitied the poor filly for being unable to fly like her long-time idol. Putting all feelings aside, you return your mind to the washing and massaging of Scootaloo's wings, which you spend a little longer than need-be on for the sake of soothing the filly.
You submerge your hands into the warm water and bring it over the filly's wings. You try not to take too long on this rinse cycle, and with your efforts the wings are clean only a short moment later.
Now you move onto the last bit of the orange pegasus. Kindly asking her to lift up her flank, you grab the feather shampoo on accident. Scootaloo pokes you and points this out. You apologize and thank the filly for catching your mistake while you grab the right shampoo. Checking the bottle twice out of habit (you usually did this when you made mistakes), you squirt the right gel into your palm and work it through Scootaloo's purple tail. The filly doesn't mind you touching her tail, and lets you finish for another brief moment. Finally, it's time to rinse.
Grabbing a couple handfuls of water from beside Scootaloo, you pour some over her soaped-up tail, beginning the final rinse cycle. This doesn't take long, just like the rest of her, but still consumes a bit more time than the other rinse cycles. Now the bath was over.
Because you knew she wouldn't want to play in the tub (did Rainbow Dash do that? No, so why would she?), you unplug the porcelain bathtub and pick the filly up and out of the draining water. You place her hooves-first on the ground and grab the towel behind you. You wrap the cloth around Scootaloo's head and shake it, making sure to thoroughly dry her short mane. Then, you move on to her wings and torso, and finally her tail. Drying her, in the end like everypony else, only takes about a minute.
Scootaloo starts to dismiss herself when you stop her at the door. "Before you leave, I have a little something for you," you say while reaching into your pocket. You then pull out your Rainbow Dash toy, which you decided to sacrifice in order to brighten up Scootaloo's day.
Just as you expected her to, Scootaloo quickly yet gingerly grabs the figurine from your hands and begins to look it over. She is dumbfounded in glee at the gift, not bothering to give you a thankful look but instead dismissing herself again with her eyes glued to the new mini-version of her lifetime idol. You open the door for her, accepting her unshown thanks which you knew had to exist due to her reaction.
You smile warmly at the filly as she walks over to her room, opens the door and places her new favorite thing in the world on her bureau.
BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY BEST PONY
yayayayayayayaayy drop everything and read it!
EDIT: Okay, read it... And I can honestly say that was the BEST. CHAPTER. EVER!
D'aww...
Scoots is best filly.
1770181 Seconded!
SCOOTS EQUALS BEST CRUSADER
Honestly, not my favorite chapter, but this is really good! This is like, my 3rd favorite!
Comment.
1770162 Yes, Luna is best pony.
As for Scootaloo, I'll admit she ranked up on my list after the most recent episode.
In that case she gets a song.
Beatles + Ponies = Heaven
1770511
Luna? That's a weird way to spell Scootaloo!
1770542 You keep spelling Best Pony's name wrong.
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/31579709.jpg
1770565
You're getting confused with the WORST pony I think.
Best pony is spelt S-C-O-O-T-A-L-O-O
Worst pony is spelt L-U-N-A
Get it right next time, someponies might not be so forgiving for your mistake.
1770588 Nigga, did you just sign your own death warrent?
alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/png/cereal-guy-cereal-guy-squint.png
A lot of people will get a little angry if you call her worst pony.
1770181 third-ed 1770588 hey LUNA IS NOT WORST PONY! that's twist. Luna is best princess and that's final
Dammit, I had a clever comment to make about this story, but Scootaloo's cuteness took it away...
Oh, I remember!
I'm suprised you didn't smell chicken soup when you put her in the bath
1770668
Don't let Regidar hear you say that!
1770640
I'm simply stating the facts. And by the way. Don't even joke about signing my own death warrant. I'll have you know I am suicidal.
This is a thing? This is a thing? This is a thing that someone took the time out of reading or shooting a mofo in the throat with their bow to do?
1770668 I'll fucking kill you. You didn't even capitalize her name, you bastard.
1770700 In that case, we'll see each other in Paradise.
*chuckles* If we meet again that is.
.
.
.
For anyone that gets the reference, you deserve a cookie of your choice.
1770771
I don't get it. BUT CAN I HAVE A COOKIE ANYWAY?
No?
WELL. I DIDN'T WANT ONE ANYWAY!
Now, if you'll excuse me. I have more productive things to do with my life. Like jumping off the Empire State Building.
1770739
I shoot a mofo in the through with my bow,
Tomahawk chop is my death blow.
Please tell me I got that right.
ANYBODY WHO GET'S THAT DESERVES A COOKIE!
1770805
How many foals can I bathe today?
Too many to count, don't get in my way
I scrub a mofo in the back with my soap
Shower hose spray is my cleanse splash
Filly cleaning machine
Big-plot towel in hoof
Why'd you have to foul my foals?
I'm-a clean their mane, man
I'm very skilled scrubber.
Cleaning foals in ones and twos
Soap flowing like a river
Eyes can be an issue
---
1770756
You are just living through the memories of each and every one of their parents/guardians.
1770872
Great except for the last line. "dry" doesn't rhyme with "tissues" like in the original song.
1770908
The syllables do. In the original, "Need a box of tissues" is six syllabus, like "need a towel to dry".
1770930
Try singing that in tune. The last line just feels.... wrong.
1770940
Edited.
"How many foals can I clean today?"
On the related topic from my very very precious comment. I am still rather surprised, frightened and ailenated by the fact that this fanfiction is about living the fantasies of cleaning fillies in a bath tub...
I guess I now know how haters think about bronies in general.
1770967
Yay. Thank joo!
So many choices...WHO SHOULD I START WITH!
Queen Chrysallis it is.
1770588>>1770668>>1770769 Everyone listen! I will delete any further comments saying Luna is worst pony. She's in my top 2, right by Derpy. And, like Regidar, I am a fan of Twist. The only two ponies who I do not like are Diamond Bitch and Silver Slut.
1770967 Hey, haters gonna hate. If you dislike the story, give it a thumbs down. Y'know why I say this? Look at the thumbs up section. Your vote would barely alter that. So, yes I wrote this. And yes, I am proud of it.
1771028
1771028
What was the inspiration? I immediately thought this was a fiction made as the ulitmate foalcon to piss off people.
Kidding, of course. I can see the appeal. But what fucking inspired you?
Also...
"Foal Cleaning Machine!"
1771051 I just thought, "Hey, I'm good at cute. And what's cuter than bathing your favorite characters?" Beavernator on DA was also a big inspiration. Check him out if you haven't already. Oh, and I love the Smosh references you and 1770805 made. Very clever.
1771048 I was wondering when you would comment on this fic. Also, just out of curiosity have you seen my fic A Twisted Crush? It's a Twist cute-crush fic with Featherweight.
speaking of twist are you going to make a bath for her?
1771140 Hmm, maybe. I mean, I love her, but the filly's got little character development. I'd mostly have to rely on fanon, and even there she has little development.
1770788
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I think I'll go listen to Queen and do awesome stuff now.
Ya know
like breathing.
1771090 I'm off to read it now.
1771140 I second this.
1770640 Please don't use the N word. That's for Zecora to use and Zecora only. Unless, of course, you are of African descent like her. In which case, carry on.
kinda off topic but i barely made this account and im wondering how do i put a profile picture?
1771090
Regidar only commented on this because I linked him here. I linked him because I knew he would be annoyed by somebody calling Twist the worst pony.
1771028
Luna is on the top of my list. Can I say that?
1771208 Only on the internet, where nobody knows that you're a black penguin.
NOBODY
1771197
That's what I said.
1771248 Congradulations. You've won an honorary Trollestia badge
1771275
Flutteryay
Ahh my little Angel Scoot, so cute.
I squeed
Will all of you shut up about your favorite pony, save it for the blog posts and YouTube videos!
Scootaloo and Luna are both great characters, part of the reason why they're so popular is because of their lack of screen time so be thankful that they got so of much it in the last episode.
All arguing aside this chapter was yet another diabetes inducing chapter, Scootaloo might be a bit clumsy but that's why we love her because she never lets her failures keep her down.
Also did anyone notice that Scootaloo lost her scooter at the end of "Sleepless in Ponyvillie", do you think we'll see it again or do you think Scootaloo will be able to do without it?
1771857i noticed that too... I wonder if shes gonna get it back... maybe a hearths warming present from rainbow?
1772215 Or maybe it'll just appear again and we'll be left to asume that Scootaloo told Rainbow Dash about it and with help from Rarity and Applejack they were able to find it and fish it out.
1681158 Weren't we all? I mean no offense to EuroChaos who made the original song but Living Tombstone did such an awesome remix of it that it's pretty much become the more popular one. and the one everyone thinks of when they think of that song.
1680626 LOL at the end "Why does this keep happening to me?"
diamond tiara for a long story hehehe