Chapter 10: Escapist Literature
Rainbow Dash woke up comfortably nestled in between Applejack and Twilight, and this time she had absolutely no desire to move. She yawned, and the motion stirred Applejack, who turned around and smiled at Rainbow Dash.
“Sorry,” Rainbow Dash whispered so as not to wake Twilight.
“Ah was already up,” Applejack said. “This was really nice.”
“So now you’re just fine with it?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Yes ah am. Ah reckon you slept just as well as ah did.”
“Probably better, but I’m a really heavy sleeper,” Rainbow Dash said.
“Ah know. You snore somethin’ fierce.”
“I do not!” Rainbow Dash protested, just barely remembering to keep her voice to a whisper.
“Scootaloo told me your snorin’ kept her awake when we went out campin’, but ah didn’t believe her.”
“There was a lot more keeping her up than just my snoring,” Rainbow Dash muttered.
“And what pray tell was that?” Applejack asked.
“Nothing, forget I said anything,” Rainbow Dash said, hoping to cover for Scootaloo’s recurring nightmares. She was sure the young pegasus didn’t want it going around that she had been spooked by a few ghost stories.
“Okay, whatever you say,” Applejack drawled. Suddenly there was some motion on the other side of the bed and a sound as Twilight mumbled.
“Are you awake, Twilight?” Applejack asked.
“I am now, thanks to you two,” Twilight said snidely.
“Sorry. We were trying to be quiet,” Rainbow Dash said.
“That’s all right,” Twilight replied, “it was about time for us to be getting up anyway. I think Spike is just about to start dinner. Do you two want to stay here and eat?”
“If it’s Spike’s cookin’, ah’m all fer it,” Applejack said. “Yours? Not so much.”
“Hey!” Twilight exclaimed. Applejack laughed.
“Ah’m only teasin’, Sugarcube,” she said.
“Very funny,” Twilight muttered.
“Oh, lighten up, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said. “Applejack jokes with me all the time about my cooking.”
“No no, Rainbow Dash, yer cookin’ is the joke,” Applejack said with a smile. Rainbow Dash playfully punched her in the leg.
“Well, I’m going to let Spike know to cook for two more,” Twilight said. “Feel free to come downstairs and read some books while we’re getting dinner ready.”
“No can do, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said. “There aren’t any new Daring Do books for me to read.”
“You can read far more than just Daring Do, you know,” Twilight said.
“That doesn’t mean I’m going to,” Rainbow Dash replied.
“Oh, you’re impossible,” Twilight groaned. Applejack started laughing.
“Maybe you can show me one of these Daring Do stories, Rainbow Dash,” Applejack said. “If they’re really as good as you say they are, then ah feel like ah’m missin’ out on somethin’ important.”
“Okay, I guess I can show you the first one,” Rainbow Dash said. The three ponies started heading downstairs, where Spike was already beginning to cook.
“Spike,” Twilight said. “Rainbow Dash and Applejack are staying for dinner.”
“Way ahead of you, Twilight,” Spike said. “I figured they’d be staying, so I took out the big bowl so I could toss a salad for the four of us.”
“That sounds delicious,” Twilight said as she went to the kitchen to help him. “You really are my number one assistant.” Somewhere on a perch, Owlowiscious hooted.
While Twilight and Spike prepared dinner, Applejack and Rainbow Dash sat down in the main room of the library. Rainbow Dash was already pulling down a Daring Do book off the shelf. Applejack looked at the long row of Daring Do novels and whistled.
“You’ve really read all of those?” Applejack asked.
“They’re short and pretty easy,” Rainbow Dash said. “I can blow through one in like a day.
“So, this is Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone,” Rainbow Dash explained to Applejack, showing her the cover. She flipped to the book’s first page. “It’s the awesome tale about how a maimed pegasus escapes the dense, tropical jungles with a precious artifact. We start off with Daring Do lost in the thick jungle, having broken her wing in a crash landing.” Rainbow Dash flipped through the pages of the book as she explained the story to Applejack. “She’s grounded for a few days because of it.”
“Hold on,” Applejack said. “What’s the point of havin’ Daring Do get her wing injured? Isn’t the big deal about pegasi that they’re supposed to fly?”
“You would think so,” Rainbow Dash responded, “but here’s the genius. With her wing broken, Daring Do is a wounded hero. The odds are against her, and that makes it even more exciting when she makes her way past the danger lurking around every corner.
“Now, deep in the jungle, predators lurk behind every bush. Suddenly, she’s attacked by a tiger! Daring Do narrowly avoids becoming that cat’s dinner, but that’s not the end of it. No, she becomes surrounded by a tiger, a panther, a lynx, a cheetah, and a housecat.”
“Hang on a minute,” Applejack interrupted. “What’s a housecat doin’ in the middle of the jungle?”
“That’s an easy one, he’s…wait a minute…they actually don’t really explain it. It just makes it funny, I guess. Anyway, she leaps over the housecat and escapes to relative safety by swinging over a gorge, but that’s before she discovers the temple she’s been trying to find for two months!”
“Doesn’t that seem a bit too convenient?” Applejack asked. “There was no indication she was ever gonna find the temple, so how can she just stumble upon it now?”
“Okay,” Rainbow Dash said, shutting the book. “Are you going to just sit here picking apart every last detail of the book, or are you going to sit back and enjoy the story?”
“Ah’m sorry, Rainbow Dash, but there’s just too many improbable things happenin’ for me to get immersed in the story.”
“It’s an adventure story,” Rainbow Dash said. “You’re supposed to get lost in the excitement and the thrills. Twilight calls it ‘escapist literature’.”
“Ah guess ah just can’t get lost in a story that makes no sense,” Applejack said.
“You know, this is my single greatest series of books you’re trashing on here!”
“Don’t you mean your only series of books?”
“I…gah…well what do you read then, huh?” Rainbow Dash asked, pointing a hoof at Applejack. “I never see you pick up a book!”
“Ah do plenty of readin’,” Applejack said. “You just don’t see me do it ’cause ah don’t read a book when ah’m around mah friends.”
“Whatever,” Rainbow Dash said with a sigh.
“And who are you to accuse me o’ never readin’? You weren’t no fan of readin’ until there was absolutely nothin’ else you could do,” Applejack protested. “Ah know you’d rather be flyin’ around tryin’ all of them fancy tricks o’ yours than sittin’ at home and readin’ a borin’ old book. And ah like a good book once in a while, but ah’d prefer to work on Sweet Apple Acres. There’s nothin’ wrong with it, it’s how we are.”
“You’re missing out on some fantastic literature,” Twilight called from the kitchen.
“You’ve been quiet,” Rainbow Dash called back. Twilight walked into the main room and sat down with the other two ponies.
“I’ve been trying to help Spike in the kitchen, but I keep making things worse,” Twilight said. “I can understand complex magical theories and perform mesmerizing spells, but I can’t chop tomatoes to save my life.”
“Don’t worry about it, Twilight,” Applejack said. “We all have our weaknesses.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash said. “And Applejack’s got like at least nine.”
“Don’t you start gettin’ all high and mighty, missy,” Applejack protested. “You seem to have a pretty big weakness for Darin’ Do. It’s like you’ve got the hots fer her or somethin’.” Rainbow Dash started to blush and looked away from Applejack.
“That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think, Applejack?” Twilight asked.
“Aw, Rainbow Dash knows I’m just pokin’ fun, right, Rainbow Dash?” Applejack asked her friend.
“Well, I don’t have the hots for Daring Do,” Rainbow Dash said, “but I do want to be just like her. I guess I idolize her or something. Is that okay?”
“Of course it is, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said. “It’s great to have somepony to live up to, even if it’s a fictional character.”
“Hey, there’s worse ponies you could look up to,” Applejack said. “Take the Flim Flam brothers fer instance. Some ponies might look up to ’em as business ponies, but that’s just askin’ fer a world o’ trouble.”
“Thanks guys,” Rainbow Dash said.
“Dinner’s ready!” Spike called from the kitchen. The three ponies trotted into the kitchen and saw that Spike had already set four bowls of salad along with the proper silverware. He had also filled four cups with water and placed them alongside the salads.
“This looks delicious, Spike,” Twilight said. She took her seat closest to the main room of the library.
“Just in time, ah’m starvin’,” Applejack said, sitting to the right of Twilight.
“Looks great, Spike,” Rainbow Dash said, taking the seat to Twilight’s left. Spike sat down on the fourth side of the table, at the salad that had been sprinkled with gem shards. The ponies and dragon tucked in and began to eat. The salad was crisp and fresh; the vinaigrette adding a sweet tang to the flavor of the vegetables. Twilight spoke up in between bites.
“Rainbow Dash,” she said, “you still have one thing to deal with.”
“What’s that?” Rainbow Dash said through a mouthful of salad. She was munching on some daisies that Spike had added to her salad.
“What are you going to do about you and Rarity?” Twilight asked.
“Uh…what’s there to be done?” Rainbow Dash asked. “She confessed and we had a nice talk. There doesn’t seem to be a problem anymore.”
“Don’t be so sure, Sugarcube,” Applejack said, polite enough to swallow her bite of food before speaking. “Ah bet Rarity’s just burnin’ up inside about bein’ rejected.”
“She does have the tendency to be overdramatic,” Twilight said. Applejack and Rainbow Dash stared at her.
“I know I do too!” Twilight said.
“Wait a minute,” Spike said, swallowing a shard of amethyst. “Did I miss something?”
“Rarity’s got a crush on Rainbow Dash,” Applejack said immediately. Spike choked on his next bite of food and swallowed it painfully, coughing as he gasped for air. He took a drink of water to stop his coughing.
“Rarity’s got what?” Spike asked.
“Applejack!” Twilight scolded her friend. “Don’t you realize how Spike feels about Rarity?”
“Hey, come on,” Spike said, trying to save face. “It’s not like I’m that interested in Rarity. I mean, if she has a crush on Rainbow Dash, it’s no big deal. It’s not like I’m screaming at the world for being so unfair.”
“Spike,” Twilight started, but Spike slammed a fist down on the table.
“It’s so unfair!” he screamed, turning his salad bowl over in disgust. Spike got up and walked away from the table, aiming for the stairs leading up to Twilight’s bedroom.
“Spike, I’m really sorry,” Rainbow Dash called after him, but Spike ignored her. “Spike! Oh, what’s the point?” she asked, sighing.
“I’ll go talk to him,” Twilight said, setting her utensils down and trotting away from the table, leaving Applejack and Rainbow Dash alone again. Twilight trotted up the stairs, only to find that Spike had shut himself in her room. Twilight listened at the door and thought she could hear the dragon sobbing.
“Spike? Can I come in?” Twilight called through the door.
“Go away,” came the response. Twilight sighed and opened the door with her magic. She saw Spike curled up on Twilight’s bed, facing the window.
“I said get lost!” Spike yelled, turning to face Twilight.
“Spike, you know Rarity never liked you that way,” Twilight said in an attempt to console the grief-stricken dragon. “And she has a right to her own feelings. Just because you like her doesn’t mean she’s not allowed to like anypony else.”
“But why Rainbow Dash?” Spike asked. “Why not me? Haven’t I been good to her? Don’t I treat her like a lady whenever I see her? Why is this so unfair?”
“Spike, I…” Twilight started, but she was unsure of her words. “I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry, and I’m sorry that’s how you had to find out. Look, if it helps you feel any better, Rainbow Dash doesn’t like her back, so she’s in the same boat that you are.”
“How’s that supposed to help?” Spike muttered, crossing his arms.
“I guess nothing I do is going to help,” Twilight said resignedly. “Nothing anypony can say or do is going to help you. With time, though, you might start to feel better. Can you at least agree to give it some time and let it blow over? I really want you back at the dinner table, enjoying your wonderful meal. Please?” Twilight pouted and looked at Spike with puppy dog eyes. Spike turned away from Twilight but then slowly looked back at her. He gave a sigh.
“You’re right, Twilight. It’s going to take time for me to feel better, but I guess I overreacted and I’m sorry. I would love to come back down and eat dinner with you three.”
“Thank you, Spike,” Twilight said with a smile, pulling Spike in for a hug.
So Spike's upset because Rarity loves Rainbow Dash...but Spike is Rainbow Dash, so this means Rarity loves him!
Uhhhhh . . .
Is it just me or is this starting to turn into another Unexpected Love Life of Dusk Shine?
The problem arises and is solved in about a paragraph!
It's almost written like a trollfic, really.
You'd think that RD rejecting Rarity would be a big deal, but I guess it isn't.
Also, AJ admits that she reads in Read It and Weep, so yeah.
Canon screws this over, just sayin'.
But Applejack does like to read.
"Who doesn't like to read a bang-up tale from time to time?"
Edit: Agreed with Atlas_Nebula
Had to delete my other comment because I was getting irritated with getting the YouTube video to embed so I just put a link.
1822647
LOGIC!!!
Less talking, more cuddling Just kidding, s'all good fun, and you should be proud for writing this.
The Flim Flam brothers? Fighting against the artificial scarcity created by the Apples each cider season, for their own profit? Looking to remove the massive opportunity cost created by an entire town waiting in line? That's worth supporting!
Spike got over the loss a little too quickly for me...
I kinda feel as if you went off on a tangent with the talk between Twilight and Spike, but hey, it might be important later. In any case, it was a good chapter, I loved it.
Wait...How will this continue. WHAT CONFLICTS ARE LEFT???
A massive 6 pone and 1 dragon sleepover hug party!
1823261 The...uh...Raridash conflict? AJ's family finding out about the cuddling conflict?
1822801 Everypony's issue with Flim and Flam are that, when pressed, they sacrificed quality for quantity, in the end turning out a product that no one would buy at any price (Two bits per mug with the Apple's cider vs. two bits for a barrel of FlimFlam cider)
1825315 That's because they were stupid and overconfident. It took ten ponies, working at a pace they couldn't keep up forever, to outpace their one magical machine, a machine that had successfully created cider ponies wanted.
Cool chapter bro.
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/157289%2B-%2Banimated%2Bcursor%2Bderpy_hooves.gif?1333659283
Ooh, new chapter!
forum.purseblog.com/attachments/celebrity-forums/celebrity-news-and-gossip/1643364-michael-fassbender-dis-gon-b-gud.jpg
Dat wuz gud! Oh, hey, there's one thing you could do to this story: Have Twilight or someone help Spike get over Rarity by finding him somepony to love. That would make Spike happy!
chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-i-hope-my-body-can-take-it1.png
Right after you finish this story
1822727 I do plan on fixing that when I have time. I completely forgot about Applejack's comments in Read It and Weep to be honest. Sorry about that!
Here's a typo:
That should be her.
1829580 Thank you. Fixed.
1822647
intolerantfox.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/lib-head-explode.jpg
1822801
Are you mental? They weren't trying to do clean, honest business. They were literally trying to put the Apples out of business and out of their home. Which they succeeded at!
Hell, at first they even tried to sell the Apples' own apples that they made into cider. That's straight up thievery. You have serious issues, buddy. I pray you never find your way into gainful employment or any sort of management position.
1861576
That wasn't their original schtick, it just became that over time. They started off as simply business competitors, more or less. If anything, I'd place at least a little bit of blame on Apple Bloom for naively trying to speak for everyone in her family concerning the cider-making competition.
Also, totally unrelated to Flim and Flam, but one of the only conversation terms that seems to appear in this entire story is "said". Kinda bugs me. You get through four chapters of "Applejack said, Twilight said, Rainbow said, Spike said, Fluttershy said, Rarity said" and the dialogue just starts feeling stale. Doesn't take much to spice that up.
Applejack say that the adventures of Daring Do have too improbables things happening for her to enjoy the story when she and her group of friends beat a god, three tyrants, two con artist, two friends of Rainbow Dash and a shitload of monsters that constantly show up in town.... Logic.
doesn't these ponies have jobs? I know that's an odd thing to worry about but its just a little weird
Cuz' nobody wants a freaking reptile dick inside them... Poor Spike ain't getting laid anytime soon.