Maniac's laugh

by TenshuraX

Chapter 1

I opened my eyes, same dull white ceiling, same overly-bright fluorescent light making me close my eyes again and sit up. Same dreary white walls, same pristine white sheets, same locked door that made this room my cage. My memories were suppressed by the dreary white days of nothing. The earliest point I remembered was waking up, just like today and staring around at the room. I got out of bed, my feet lapping against the cold floor.

"Hello me, hopefully today will be better. Yeah, hopefully" I said in a monotone.

I walked over and knocked on the door, there was no answer like always, but it never hurt to try.

"Yay, another exiting day of nothing at all" I scoffed sarcastically "You'd think that they'd get bored of watching me just doing nothing"

I looked around, hoping that there'd finally be a reply. and of course, none came. It was frustrating, doing nothing all day, looking at no color, not even a book or anything

"Damn stiffs, why won't they even let me have a single magazine, what did I even do to deserve this?!" and then, I decided to do something I hadn't in a while, something silly. Looking at the poorly disguised camera I blew a raspberry and walked back into bed, trying not to laugh at their imagined response.

"What did he just do??? Why would he do that? It makes no sense" I whispered to myself, the scene playing out in my head. As I lay in bed I heard something, a sharp rasping sound, coming from the door. walking over I decided to have a little bit more fun.

"Knock knock" I stated

A seemingly surprised voice replied "Uhh... who's there?"

"Me" I said simply

"Me who?"

"What? Me isn't good enough for you? What about rock paper scissors? OH WAIT I can't see you... Hmmmm, charades? WAIT the problem of vision comes in again... Perhaps tic tac toe" the other voice apparently did not expect that

"Who are you?"

"I'm me, I told you that already silly, OOOOOOH, do you mean my name?"

"Well of course, what else would I mean?"

"Oooooh, you shouldn't have asked that, I can think of at least 20 right off the bat, but back to the subject of names, what was yours again? I don't quite remember"

"I never told you my name but since you asked... I think... it's Jason"

"Well howdy Jason, I don't rightly know mah' name"

"You don't know your name?"

"Nope, I don't remember anything but this room"

"How long have you been here?"

"Hmmmmmm, I lost count around fifteen thousand days, but then again I'm probably wrong since there's no real 'night' or 'day'. Stop telling him so much, you don't need to GIVE OUT info. OH I'm right, why should I tell YOU?"

"Uhh... because me and a few others are here to get you out?"

"And if I don't want to go out?" He stopped, he apparently hadn't thought of that. The door clicked open and swung outwards to revel a large man, around his late 20's with a square jaw, 5'o clock shadow and a gun strapped to his back, he was wearing a muscle shirt and actually had muscles and his camo slacks made this guy a sho-in to win the 'best big buff army guy stereotype' award this year. he took one look at me and seemed surprised.

"Have you ever heard of scissors?" he asked

"Yes, why?"

"Well mainly because you hair could be used as shoes"

"OOH IT CAN?! cool, I really have needed shoes, the floor is FREEZING in here" He didn't reply, but instead stepped back and looked both ways along a black corridor.

"Coast's clear" he said in a perfect army impression

"Hey, has anyone ever told you that you could win an award?"

"For what?" he took the bait

"Well first of all you look exactly like a solder boy stereotype, and second of all HEYLOOKOVERTHERE!!!" I pointed to his left and he immediately turned and unstrapped his gun.

"And second, most gullible!" I yelled back, running down the right corridor. He cursed as I rounded the corner, laughing like a madman, which I may very well be.

"Get back here you little clown!"

"As if flabby muscle headed solder boy stereotype guy" I dove into a closet and he stomped right past, his boot steps echoing off the walls of the surprisingly grey corridors

"I was expecting white, not grey, maybe they got different painters for the different rooms, OH then there's be one room that was neon pink, I definitely need to see that" unfortunately, the echoing worked both ways, so he heard me, hiding in my little cubby and started tramping back

"whoopsy daisy" I picked up a bucket, feeling that somehow I was copying something. I got on the top shelf and when the solder opened the door I said

"hey Jason, what's soaking-wet and clueless?" and then, not waiting for a reply I dumped the water on him and yelled "YOUR FACE!" slamming the bucket down on his head for good measure. I leapt off the shelf, using his bucketed head as a landing pad, making him topple backwards with a loud 'THUD'. I couldn't help but laugh as he tried to get the bucket that was lodged on his head off. And before he could accomplish the feat I ran off again.

"YOU LITTLE SON OF A BITCH"

"Now now, don't insult your grandmother like that" I tried not to laugh as the raging muscle head chased after me, fuming with rage and soaking wet.

"WHEN I CATCH YOU I'M GONNA WRING YOUR LITTLE NECK!"

"with those ham hands? get real, you couldn't wring a giraffe's neck with those things" I was openly laughing and running down the halls, more concerned with getting a good laugh than actually surviving, and I also found it funny that he had completely forgotten he had a gun.

After a few rounded corners and a few more insults, I ran into a dead end.

"HAH, dead end, in more way than one!" the man yelled as he tried to grab my neck" I did the most logical thing, I started singing and dodging.

"NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN!!!" I was barely restraining my laughter at the big man's rage and annoyance, but I knew when enough was enough, now if only I actually cared

"Run run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man" I sang as I ran through his legs and down the corridor.

"WILL YOU HOLD STILL SO I CAN KILL YOU!"

"that's what she said" By this time I was laughing as I ran. I opened another door just after I rounded the next corner to give myself a little breather. I completely forgot about the raging guy when I saw what was in the room. It was a green room, nothing decorating it save a large metal arch and a podium. Walking over to the podium my hair began to stand on end, which is an odd feeling that made me feel like my hair was touching the ceiling, which it probably was.

"So this is where they send the short-haired scientists"

The podium was surprisingly simple, a button on a metal cylinder. the button was large and red.

"Big... red... button... LOGIC SAYS I MUST PRESS!" I yelled as I slammed my hand down on the button. There was a loud beep and sparks started shooting off the archway

"I sure hope my hair is fireproof" The sparks consolidated at the center of the arch and made a blue portal-like thingy

"huh, and now TO NARNIA!!!" I yelled as I charged through the portal.

"Well now" I looked down at the oncoming trees as i suddenly found myself in the air above a forest

"SWEET TEA AND CRUMPETS THIS IS GONNA HURT!!!" i yelled right before a branch hit my face

"SWEET TEA AND" SMACK another branch hit my face

"SWEET tea and" SMACK

"Sweet tea" SMACK

"OH SCREW IT, SWEET BAGELS IN A BUNNY BASKET" SLAM, I hit the hard dirt of the ground

"...WELL PLAYED DIRT!!!" my vision went blurry and I saw a yellow figure approaching me

"HERFUGNTUP!" (her-fudge-in-tup) I yelled as I passed out, which seemed to startle the yellow blur quite a bit.

Comments

[Malesur Darkhoof]

Heh, random, but funny....I like it!

[Need More Gore]

Love this anon so much