It is the virtue of the loved that time can never hurt them.
Though they were older and subject to the responsibilities of life as their parents had been before them, Pipsqueak and Dinky had never seen each other age. Through their eyes, they never grew old. Through loving eyes, they were eternal.
Many years had passed since the declaration that solidified their bond. Further vows had been made, swearing by the icy oak and their shared memories, in front of and under the guidance of other ponies, their friends and family, but both ponies remember the day when they realised their love.
It was perhaps their fondest memory, though they sometimes couldn’t choose between their marriage and the birth of their son. Young Patch was the pride of their lives. He enriched their every moment with his very presence. The little foal had grown into an adventurous young colt much like his father.
Though he had his father’s fur, his mane and eyes were as huge and as golden as the mare who birthed him. A certain talent for exploration had also been inherited, leading to many frantic searches through town as he got himself into what he thought were adventures. Dinky called them ‘trouble’.
Pipsqueak smiled fondly at the memory of one particular incident involving a shooting star. Patch had seen it as he looked out his window at night and thought he could go and collect it. Patch the Star-Hunter was the name he went by that night. The little colt had seized his antique toy sword and charged into the blackness that enveloped the Everfree Forest. Pipsqueak’s smile faltered as the memory of how scared he and his wife had been played across his senses.
It was no Whitetail Wood. Happiness and good memories were rarely the result of forays beneath the aphotic canopy. The younger parents of the Star-Hunter knew this and acted quickly, rallying every pony who was able and starting a search party. Fortunately, the unicorn who ran the town library was a master organiser and she managed to keep panic from overwhelming them.
Less than three hours after his grand quest had begun, Patch the Star-Hunter was returned to his parent’s custody, dirty and scraped but alive and happy. An experience like that, however, has a lasting effect on parents. Restrictions were imposed and enforced so that they would never need to feel such terror again.
That was why Pipsqueak cautioned his son to stay close as the family walked amongst the spring trees. Critters skipped across the uneven ground, exciting the colt and making him run after them. Only Dinky’s quick reflexes stopped Patch from disappearing into the undergrowth. She heaved backwards, his tail in her mouth.
“Uh-uh, you heard what daddy said. Gotta stay close, okay?” she said to her son, who ceased his struggle with a groan.
Pipsqueak smiled broadly. He liked the title of ‘daddy’, it made him feel so responsible and grown up. Which he was, when he thought about it. Being a father had shaken loose almost all of the strings he had to his childish nature, for which he was glad. His son needed a stallion, not a colt.
“Do you think it’s still there hun?” he asked amiably, not too concerned with the conversation and just enjoying the walk.
“Of course it will be. It’s been there forever!” she nuzzled Patch and spoke the last word in a silly voice, making him giggle.
“Forever!” he squeaked enthusiastically, causing both parents to laugh. Their son did not know many words, but the ones he did know were always used to their full extent.
Even after all those years, the two older ponies recognised the trees and bushes. There were new ones of course, but this forest was ingrained in their memory more than any other place in the world.
Pipsqueak, despite his responsible adult persona, couldn’t help but quicken his pace as they drew near. As much as he tried to deny it, he had missed this place immensely. Unbeknownst to him, his wife was smiling at his enthusiasm and his son hurried to catch up.
And suddenly, there it was. Towering as ever and yet somehow smaller, the mighty oak tree stood. Unchanging, unmoving. Each curve and rupture in the bark was exactly the same as the ones they remembered.
The married couple approached it slowly, almost reverently, and laid their hooves upon the trunk. It was warm in the spring sunlight and brought smiles to their faces. The feeling in their chests was of nostalgic joy amplified by the bark seemingly warming to their touch, as if greeting old friends. Pipsqueak felt an absurd desire to say ‘hello’ that he quickly suppressed. Little did he know, Dinky shared that same desire, fulfilling it under her breath.
Patch gazed upwards with delight, already planning his route. Before either of his parents could say anything, he scrambled up onto a low hanging branch and began to climb.
His rustling soon caught their attention. “Patch! Slow down and be careful!” his mother called out. Needless to say, she was promptly ignored by the quick little colt.
Pipsqueak made to follow his son, approaching the usual lower hoof-hold. It was too small for his hoof, however, and when he grasped the branch it bent lower. His breath hitched in his throat. The branch had never bent; his hoof had always fit. But no longer.
He tried in vain to pull himself up anyway and the branch held, barely. He grunted with the effort of maintaining his balance.
“Pip...” Dinky’s voice was slightly sad at seeing him struggle to do something he had done his entire life.
“I can do it.” He wobbled slightly and tried to reach up for the next hoof-hold. It was a hole in the bark so small he couldn’t grip it. With a sigh, he uselessly patted his huge hoof over the indentation.
“Pip, I’m sorry.”
He dropped to the ground with a thud, stumbling slightly. “Why can’t I do it? I’ve climbed this tree a million times,” he mumbled to himself.
Dinky trotted closer and nuzzled him comfortingly. “You got bigger. It was going to happen someday.”
Pipsqueak shook his head. “Yeah, but not with this. This was supposed to be forever. This wasn’t supposed to change.” He felt tears in his eyes, a strangely foreign feeling. There hadn’t been reason to cry for a long time.
“Oh, Pip. I know how you feel.” They embraced each other far beneath the branch on which they confessed their love. Every now and then a small leaf would flutter down, shaken loose by their son. One of them caught in Dinky’s mane, unnoticed by the couple.
“Why did we have to get older, Dinky?” sniffled Pipsqueak, burying his head in his wife’s mane.
For a moment, she had no answer. She too missed their younger bodies, running through the forest and scaling trees with ease. Back when she could see a world beyond her own, built with her mind and populated by her imaginings. When things such as ‘money’ and ‘insurance’ were simply part of the gibberish language that older ponies would speak.
Dinky knew her mind had been tempered by reality, she knew that her other world was slowly fading away in the recesses of her memory. That fantastic, wonderful place of colour and laughter...
But that world was for children alone. That’s what made it what it was. She was an adult, and adults had no place in the realm of childish imagination. Dinky had left that world, yes, but found a new one, infinitely more tangible and satisfying than even her younger self’s wildest fantasies.
She had her own family now, a husband she loved and child she adored. She would not give them up for all the pretend pirate ships in the world.
So she stepped away from her husband, lifting his head high with her hoof, and looked up.
Patch was at the top, sitting on the highest branch. The wind whipped through his golden mane and his matching eyes were wide, but not from fear. He was seeing what they had seen all those years ago. Pipsqueak had once called the view endless, even when he knew it wasn’t. Just as he had thought his childhood would be endless, and it wasn’t.
The couple knew what landscape had their son so captivated, they had lived it themselves. They had felt the same wonder, the impossible sense of infinity.
“Maybe,” Dinky whispered, “We have to get older so others have the chance to be young.”
The father felt his tears cease flowing, his grief abated by those wise words. He looked back down at his wife, and agreed.
For though time can be the cruellest of companions, those imbued with love need never fear it. Some perceive the passage of time as closing doors and decaying opportunities, but this is not so. Because when it strips possibilities away from someone, it must grant them to somebody else.
Pipsqueak had enjoyed his childhood and, now that it was over, Patch could enjoy his. Although the father would never again climb his oaken mast, the joy he felt would return in the form of his son’s excited eyes.
That continuation, that eternal cycle, is why time can never hurt the loved.
All I can say is that this was just beautiful and heartwarming, even though some things almost made me tear up.
Your writing is beautiful, it flows so smoothly as its read; my mind just kinda glides through the story.
Excellent work, as always dear sir/madame
Beautiful and very heart warming. Congrats on the good work!
Many tears were shed. Can't wait for the next one! Literally! My suggestion is to post this to EqD if not already. Just absolute amazing.
Look. This is a sack of stars. I'm just going to leave it here and walk away so you don't see the manly tears. Because MAN.
Pip had to grow up. I love how wise and comforting Dinky is. You did an amazing job with these characters and made them all feel unique. I was on the verge of tears at the end of this chapter.
Peace out.
I gladly shed a manly tear at words of such power and wisdom.
wowzah
Manly... tears... It gave me slightly warm yet sad feelings. Everything I could say has already been said ^^ One more chapter to go, and I am sure... I will cry.
this made me cry and i got goosebumps at the raw emotion that it evoked.
if you keep writing this well you will be responsible for many tears.
i for one cant wait to shed them
Oh no....They-.....They're gonna...."go", in the next chapter.....aren't they.....
NOT PIPSQUEAK!!!!NOT DINKY!!!!WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
Absolutely gorgeous.
Words... words cannot describe this feeling.
I applaud you.
beautiful.
oh sweet celestia, i sound like meta knight...
That's really all I can say. This is so beautiful. Thank you for writing this.
Deep.
That. Was. The Most.
Sad
'Depressing
Age-fearing-
ly awesome chapter EVAH!!!
You should add the D'aww tag. Oh wait, it doesn't exist yet. Everyone tell the admins to make d'aww tags!
121265
Oh man, I know that feeling completely. Also I can't help but feel we have at the most, two chapters left (possibly epilogue?). I am both excited and terrified about it... Excellent work.
You took my critique of pirates for a day into account! It all comes back to the tree! Well done. Admittedly I'd have liked to have seen some more of the how on Dinky and Pip's relationship rather than just finding out it happened. Still very nice.
Absolutely wonderful!
Absolutely loved this story from the moment I started reading. It's so touching, and it made me miss my girlfriend.
... I'm sad... I'm happy... Buck, I'm sappy, aren't I?
... That was awesome. While it had good, happy notes, I could only seem to focus on the sad parts more, how he's grown up now, can't climb his tree... Quite excellent... A very good taste of what the next chapter is sure to have...
Thank you for actually doing the sequel. This isn't what I had in mind, but it's still VERY excellent! *Waits patiently for the last installment*
~ Moonstone, Minstrel of Equestria
Huh, that got downright depressing pretty quick. A reminder that much of what made our childhoods wonderful disappears through time and growth. You presented that reminder well, and at the same time reminded us that those wonders still exist, just in a different generation. I really like the direction you're going with these chapters. Can't wait for the exciting (and potentially heart-rending) conclusion!
I cant explain myself at all for this. Because there is no way to explain how amazing this story is, This will be a legendary story. No It already is one.
I shed tears of manliness.
Absolutly amazing. This chapter was perfect.
Is Patch a reference to Brotherly Bonds?
121545
Very well said, it captured what I wanted to say.
You better not kill them in the next chapter.
Sorry for long post (and for any English mistakes later), but some more problems came to my mind:
But first: the idea of this old oak being a witness of their lives is great, I simply love this.
First tiny problem is that I did not expect this story to pace so quickly. In the previous chapter they were teenagers, and there were some flashbacks to their past, so I thought it will continue at this rate. And now, they're with their child! Nothing wrong with that - in fact I'm happy that it went that way - it is just a bit too fast. But, maybe from oak's perspective time flies that fast.
Now, bigger issue: if they continued to climb this tree from time to time, didn't Pip noticed him being a bit bigger ? In the previous chapter they were making love. That usually means you're bigger. And if that, why didn't he "modified" the tree, like adding some lines, or wooden planks, or something to help him climb? (after all, he liked playing pirates). CMC did that! Even if you are the biggest dreamer of all, you have to notice such things. Unless Pip grew up overnight, like these apples in the last episode.
Oh, that phrase killed me: "But that world was for children alone."
So, following that logic - with Pip not climbing the tree ever more - if I became too big for my shoes, does it mean I should stop wearing shoes at all? No, I simply buy a bigger pair, I MODIFY the world around me, so I can continue doing what I like. That's why I mentioned in the previous post (now deleted not to make mess) Dinky not helping him with her unicorn magic, as the simplest solution and these additional stuff Pip could put onto this tree, as he grew up.
I'm sorry, this just doesn't make sense for me.
Besides, isn't the whole Bronies community disproving the idea that the worlds of children- and adult-oriented things are disjoint? That there ARE some things both adults and kids can enjoy and continue doing? I don't really buy this. Unless in the next chapter there will be an epic moment when Pip climbs the tree with his son, thus overcoming him being adult. If that happens, I Pinkie-swear I will read that listening to "Chariots of fire" theme, cos that would be awesome.
Now, it's not that I don't like this story. In fact, I really, really do. I have never read any fanfic with this couple and it immediately captured my imagination. I imagined what could happen on this walk to Dinky's home and how the "being adult" problem will be solved. And, as I said, maybe the next chapters will bring the conclusion of the aforementioned problems, thus making my post an angry and pointless rant.
The story is still great, the sad part makes its work way too good, the chosen pairing is brilliant, and I'm still thrilled by the old oak metaphor. It's just Pip not being smart enough, that what bugs me.
Oh, and one more thing: Am I the only one who after reading "his mane and eyes were as huge and as golden as the mare who birthed him" imagined this: http://bit.ly/rpGK9q ?
Thats was like.....*sniff* I mean......*sniff* wow.......*sniff* beautiful!
pushed me to tears . no no no wait, if they are like 26-35 years, that means in the next chapter... [shakes head in disbelieving] no, it can't be.....
You have created an entire universe out of two very dear, if not widely recognized, characters. You have maded them into three dimensional, emotional beings and gave them the ability to pull at the heartstrings of many people. I congratulate you, and eagerly look forward to seeing what else shall come.
121836
No, I have never read that.
122142
The pacing: The description of the story states that each chapter is in a different stage of their lives. I try to make the transition easier with flashbacks to fill in the gaps, but it's one of the major points of the story that a lot of time has passed between chapters. I apologize if it's too jarring.
Pip noticing he's getting bigger: In the previous chapter they were not making love, just kissing on the bed as love-struck teenagers are wont to do. In the previous chapter as well as this one I mention that the time between their visits to the forest is getting bigger, hence the line: "As much as he tried to deny it, he had missed this place immensely."
As for modifying the tree, he had never needed to. Until this day, he had always been able to climb using nothing but the natural hoofholds. Again, he didn't notice the need for pony-made hoofholds because so much time had passed since the last time he climbed it and he couldn't see his growth slowly affecting his ability to climb until now.
Dinky's unicorn magic: I'm not sure how adept Dinky is with magic, but I do not think she can levitate a full grown stallion up into the tree and stop the branches from snapping. Remember that the two mane magic users in the show, Twilight and Celestia, are both extremely powerful, and yet we compare every other unicorn to them as if that's fair. Dinky is not a powerful magic user, hence why she doesn't use it in this story to help Pipsqueak.
And even if she did have the ability to help him, I'm not certain she would. Dinky is rather wise for her age and knows that the best outcome is for Pipsqueak to finally accept that his childhood is over for the good of his son. As a side note, Pipsqueak's grief stems from not being able to climb the tree on his own like he had done so many times before. The use of magic to get him up there would not assuage his sadness because he still knows he can't do it on his own.
Now, I feel the need to point out that being an adult and growing up is not a problem that needs to be solved. Pipsqueak accepting that there are simply some things that he can no longer do is a big part of him finally growing up mentally. And while I could certainly write about him conquering the tree with his son and reclaiming his youth, I feel that it would be a rather bittersweet moment, for he can no longer see the tree and the world through a child's eyes and it would not be the same. An image comes to mind, mirroring his attempt to climb the tree, of him desperately trying to imagine the world he once saw and ultimately being unable to.
Not to mention that these three chapters are different revelations/epiphanies that occur in their lives. If I did another chapter where he continues to climb the tree, this one becomes meaningless. He learns nothing and still tries to cling to the impossibilities of youth.
I'm going to cut this short because I only just awoke moments ago and am probably making a fool of myself. Regardless, thank you for taking the time and effort to write such an in-depth critique, it is much appreciated.
I almost cried... Sweetest story ever...
I read this story a few hours ago and I just can't get it out of my mind. I've read quite a few fan-fics recently, but none of them have touched me this deeply except for My Little Dashie and now Eternity. You have a true gift for writing that very few people can hope to match. The way the story flows, the way the characters act, the descriptions; everything is done just right. The characters are new (compared to the usual fic subject matter) and are like a blank canvas which you have transformed into a wondrous masterpiece. If you were to expand this story (as in many chapters in the form of a direct chronicle of their lives from the first kiss onwards), I know it would become one of the best fics on this site. I know you probably have already been asked about this and decided not to, but I still have to try. You have a true talent for this type of writing; don't let the chance to write such an amazing story pass you by.
123006
Strange to think this started with a simple New Years Day request for a sweet story involving Pipsqueak and Dinky being friends.
I was originally not going to do a sequel to Pirates For A Day and here we are, so I shall not rule out any possibilities. Just as Pirates For A Day's purpose was contained in a single chapter, Eternity is contained in three. If I were to continue it, I couldn't just do a simple description of their happy lives; I would need a new purpose, a message or idea to convey.
But, like I said, I'm not ruling it out.
This story is so beautiful, I only wish it wasn't so short...
Reading this, I had a lump in my throat and a stone in my heart. Man, talk about moving. The innocent days of youth are so precious, and yet we don't really realize it until they're gone.
This.. this... is catharsis. I expected basically a cutey ship-fic version of 'Pirates For a Day' when I started this one. You have exceeded all expectations,and I'm blathering now so I'll just say that I can't wait for the next and last chapter!
123224
Thank you :)
Sometimes stories can be ruined by needlessly extending them, so I like to keep things short.
123268
Exactly, my friend. What is done when young can often never be done again. Everyone has to learn to accept this at some point in their lives.
123513
I was originally going to do a simple shipping fic of these two, but when I started writing these words just kept flowing and I was helpless to stop them. Somehow it turned my original plan into this, whatever this may be.
Flawless, absolutely flawless. My stars, take all of them.
I think it's a beautiful sequel to Pirates for a Day.
Soo beautiful
You....are an amazing writer. This flows so well, and the story itself is beautiful.
To capture in words so many feelings and emotions, thoughts and questions, for that this really is an accomplishment for writing. Again, short, sweet, simple, and unendingly endearing and touching. The wording is so bloody evocative! I'm this wretched little puddle of bittersweet smiles right now!
This story evokes emotion little so few others in such a simple and wonderfully realized context. The acknowledgements to the childhood imagination and simplicity and ease of wonder it embodies is felt throughout this story, certainly. Congratulations, you made me emotionally invested in two characters that you developed just enough for readers to superimpose their own deeper interpretations and who are actually really two imaginary pastel colored magical marshmallow equines with a few minutes of screen time on a children's cartoon show about magic and friendship.
And its still lovely.
"A book in and of itself can sit on some shelf somewhere, gathering dust and rotting away, but a good story will stay fresh in a reader's heart and mind forever."
-A better writer then me
I'll remember this story.
Magnificent! Simply wonderful! I don't have the words I need to describe this story.