Finally, after what felt like months of fighting, the group managed to fight their way to where the Glamorized Rainbow had set up. Much to Twilight’s horror, it had been her own Tower, where she lived before she moved to Ponyville.
“My home... my limited edition, one of a kind books are in there!” With renewed vigor, she bust down the front door.
Inside were a bunch of perpetually smiling ponies, all of which were watching a burning pile of books. Hearing the door burst open, they all turned to the small group.
“Darling!”
“Darling!”
“Darling!”
Twilight’s eye twitched ever so slightly. “What. Is. This?”
“Silly Twilight!” Moondancer said. “Those books had conflict in them. We can’t allow any of that in our perfect...”
“So then I said, ‘That’s no gemstone...’”
Suddenly Spike’s joke was cut off by a large flash of white light that filled the city of Canterlot, temporarily stopping everyone. Even Chrysalis stopped cocooning everyone up for a few seconds to look at the pretty light.
“What was that?” Scootaloo asked as the light faded.
Spike gave an amused sound. “Looks like somepony destroyed a book again.”
“You know a spell that can harm organic matter only?” Rarity asked, a little concerned.
“Well, how else am I supposed to stop somepony from hurting a book without risking damaging the book itself?” Twilight asked. As the ponies lie withering on the ground and muttering “Golly,” Twilight set another spell off that reversed the damage on the books.
“Darling,” Rainbow Dash’s voice said as said pony floated down the stairs. “Your resistance is futile. Submit to the herd.”
“We will never submit!” Celestia declared, raising her weapon. However, an unseen magical force ripped it away.
Rainbow Dash shook her head. “Why fight us? We bring nothing but love to you. But if you’ll refuse, we’ll simply have to find a new princess.”
The glamorized pony turned slowly to look at Rarity. She tensed up, backing up.
“M-me? But... what about Luna?”
“She’s too obsessed with violent video games. Plus, being tainted by Nightmare Moon makes her unclean. You shall be our leader!”
Rainbow Dash started to move forward, only for Cadance to jump in front of her, weapon ready.
“No... I won’t allow you to take anypony else.”
“Darling, truly think about this. I’m creating a world entirely made of love. You’re the Princess of Love. You should be on our side.”
Cadance hesitated, but spoke again. “Forced love isn’t love.”
“We aren’t forcing anyone to do anything. We are simply opening their minds to a new way of thinking...”
“Don’t listen to... argh!” Celestia yelled as she was swarmed by glamorized ponies.
“Think about it... you could guarantee a lifetime of happiness for you and Twilight. Don’t run from this. Just let us truly open your mind.”
“Well...”
“Cadance, you can’t really be considering this, can you?” Twilight said, actually turning away from repairing the book to look at her former foalsitter.
“I don’t know, this sounds pretty good. No violence, no worries, it will just be us in paradise.”
“Cadance, don’t!”
“But just think about it, aren’t you sick of nearly getting killed every time a threat pops up? There’s been three in the past two years. What if something escapes from Tartarus? What if there’s another dimension full of threats? I don’t know about you, but during our first night of passion, I want to be sure...”
“Wait a moment,” Rainbow Dash said. “What do you mean, ‘night of passion’?”
Cadance looked worried. “You know... us.. In bed... having fun?”
“Oh, ew,” Rainbow Dash said. “There will be no place for icky sex in out utopia.”
“...What?”
“Yes, there are non-dirty ways to show love, and all babies will be born through magic mirrors. The only love you’ll be showing Twilight is through wholesome hugs and kisses. And the best part...”
Rainbow Dash was cut off when Cadance’s weapon hit her faster than she could react. Rainbow Dash went flying into the wall, her body changing almost instantly back to normal.
Immediately all the glamorized ponies began to spasm, their bodies transforming back to normal. All of the ponies all over Canterlot were freed from the effect, returning back to normal.
And that fact was seeping in as the now-normal Rainbow Dash rose to her hooves. “H-hey. I’m free! I’m back to...”
And then Cadance hit her with her weapon. Again. Again. Again. Again.
“Uh, Cadance?” Twilight said, “I think she’s back to normal.”
“Sex is at stake, Twilight, you can’t be too sure!” she continued to pound away at the limp body.
Meanwhile, Celestia removed herself from the mass of now-normal ponies that had been holding her down and walked over to the group.
Rarity looked around. “Well, I guess that’s that.”
“Yeah, except for the dozens of ponies we no doubt hospitalized in our quest to get here, not to mention the trauma that having your mind overwritten will no doubt have on everypony.”
“But that isn’t the Elements’ job?”
“No.”
“Then I’m fine. Now let’s stop Cadance before she causes any lasting damage.”
“So these here psychic types are just that overpowered?” Applejack said.
“I think they fix that in the second generation,” Luna said. “That’s my next goal after these games.”
Pinkie and Fluttershy and finally exhausted themselves and were asleep.
“Ya think maybe we oughta be outside?” Applejack asked. “You know, helpin’ everypony after the invasion?”
“I’m sure everything’s fine. The changelings are our allies now, what could happen?”
The small group had made it back to the castle, with paramedics taking Rainbow Dash to the ER. They stood in the throne room, all collecting themselves.
“Well, now that that’s over,” Cadance said, slipping her foreleg around Twilight, “we can get back to planning...”
“Cadance, please, I don’t want to marry you.” Twilight clinged to Celestia’s leg again.
“Love powers, remember? Just go with it.”
“But...”
“Enough,” Celestia said. She took a deep breath. “Look, we have a lot to get straightened out. First off, where’s Shining Armor and Chrysalis?”
As if to answer their question, the door to the throne room opened wide, and Shining Armor trotted through. His horn was glowing, and resting on its tip was a large ball of glowing energy.
Chrysalis was following, staring at the light like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.
“Light... pretty... light.”
Shining Armor flicked it off.
“Where light go?”
Shining Armor sighed. “Do I really have to marry her?”
“I’m afraid so, Captain,” Celestia said. “After we deal with some other crisis. Chrysalis, can you get the protesting Changelings under control?”
“Huh? Yeah, whatever, after the wedding they’ll calm down.”
“Okay, glamorized ponies dealt with, promises of Changelings dealt with, did anything else pop up?”
“Don’t ask me, I was busy trying to stop Chrysalis from cocooning up every mare in Canterlot. By the way, where’s Private Exposition? I have orders for him.”
On cue, said private entered. “Sir, I’m glad I found you. I have something to report.”
“If it’s all the cocoons around Canterlot, I’m aware. I need you to inform the brass that I ordered to send some clean-up crews to deal with them.”
“Sir, I’ll get right on it, sir, but that wasn’t what I was going to report. A few minutes ago, a parasprite infestation sprung up in the market.”
At that, Rarity tensed up. “What? How did that happen? I certainly had nothing to do with it, why is everyone staring at me, Igottagobye.” And she ran out.
Shining Armor paid Rarity no attention, instead speaking to Exposition. “Well, what’s being done about it?”
“That’s just it, sir, the situation’s already been dealt with.”
Shining Armor blinked. “Well... by who? I want to commend...”
“It was by Discord.”
Everyone’s eyes went wide, several sets of pupils pupils shrinking.
“Discord?” Celestia said, in fear. “He’s free? Where is he now?”
“In the Royal Record Room.”
“What’s he doing there?”
“He’s... he’s going over Equestria’s tax code. Says he can rearrange it to cut through a lot of the fat, reduce the taxes an average citizen has to pay while still making sure public services don’t suffer.”
“...What?” Celestia said.
“I don’t get it either, your highness,” Exposition said.
“Hold your ground, everypony, I’ll be right back.” With that, she raced off to the archives.
“Since Auntie is handling that, I think I’ll go back to planning the wedding,” Cadance said. “Chrysalis, are you coming?”
The Changeling Queen blinked. “Me?”
“It’s a joint wedding, remember?”
“Ah, yes, we best prepare.” The Queen followed Cadance out. “As soon as Discord is dealt with, we can get on with everything.”
As they walked out, Shining Armor and Twilight looked at each other. They then decided to quickly and quietly get the hell out of there.
It lives! Great new chapter, nicely done ^_^
next chapter discord going to be super order base say "well there so much chaos going around I figure why not be a spirit of order"
Darling! Darling! Darling!!
:)
What a darling chapter. And lol moondancer.
This bucking, tucking, mother clucking story is just.... indescribably hilarious. Every character is perfectly over exaggerated apart from Celestia, who just seems like the only normality in this story. Love the way how you incorporated Discord into being the opposite of pony kind and that he has to do what is least expected of him. But my favorite line you wrote has to be:
Because how my dirty mind can take it so wrong, yet Cadence is so right!!!
I think your story is going to kill me by the sheer about of times I laugh though these chapters.
Can't wait for the next one(wonder why FIMfiction doesn't have a crazy Twilight emoticon)
Discord is a being of chaos, so he must create chaos. What's the most chaotic thing in a city already enveloped in chaos?: order!
...How much drugs do you have to take to finish one of these chapters? o.o;
Any orderly system breeds chaos, the maxim of entropy. And from chaos, order springs.
So much fut nucking going around that all that's left for Discord is to be orderly.
They... Broke discord?
7873442 I"m guessing all of them.
Dear God! His is both horrifying and beautiful.
From chaos comes order. In an environment of pure chaos the most random and chaotic thing to do is bring order. I never would have thought that with Discord and somehow it works. GOOD GOD!!! THIS IS THE BEST REFORMATION OF DISCORD I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!
Books are organic.
You meant living.
I was just rereading the first chapter
I kind of actually want to see a serious version of this. Not the rest of the crack that happened but just the first bit where Chrysalis truly fell in love with Shining Armor and Cadence wasn't in love with him at all. That would make for a really dramatic romance story.
7874347 there is one fanfic called Idilic that is serious. Rather good. But the prequels you have to read in order to understand you must.
Yup. Normally, Ghost type moves would be super effective, but due to a coding error, they don't do a thing, only Bug types can do super effective damage and will, there are no good Gen 1 Bug type moves. Meaning, if you have Mewtwo, that's like being Supermare. And instant win button.
It does, with Steel being introduced as a soft counter to Psychic and most types by resisting them, and a hard counter to Poison by being flat immune, and Dark being introduced as a hard counter to Psychic by being flat immune. Downside, Fighting type moves hurt Dark a lot.
That's about the reaction to have when a very powerful psychotic reality warper is around, yes. Also, you put in pupils twice.
Well, it's unexpected, and, it works. Discord's shtick is Chaos, breaking away from the norm, and considering there's so much chaos around that if he did his usual thing, it'd be kinda pointless, he did the most chaotic thing possible in an environment of pure chaos. Introduce order.
Good.
Glad those glamorized ponies are done, a little overkill on Cadance's part. Perhaps the most chaotic thing Discord has ever done by his own standards, is do something helpful and non-chaotic.
Yeah, it truly does feel like the fighting's been going on for months. *wink wink nudge nudge*
And Shining drawing Chryssie in with a bright light, that was just amazing.
Get out of dogde!
Discord, I think has been reborn as the Spirit of Order and is trying to woo Celestia or getting the crown?
shiny armor and twilight run and talk choose to marry each other so they don't have to marry anyone else, or leave and never come back and hiding in frozen north where the crystal empire show up......
is it bad I think we need discord doing the tax code law for the USA
7875607
Heck, Discord needs to fix Trump, though I dont know if he would even be brave enough to tackle that mess.
our
clung
sprang up
Ooh. That'll leave Chrysalis and Cadence as the only fiancées.
She's not wrong that's for sure
I think there a magical mirror portal they can go though and find they human self and toss them though and take over they lifes. all the while they human self take bullet......
Um. Books are made from paper, cloth, cardboard, and sometimes leather. ALL organic materials.
Organic? Means it has carbon in it. Everything on Earth that is living, was living formerly, or could be living sometime has carbon as one of its base elements. It's why they call them "carbon-based" life forms.
8018349 Chrysalis could just turn Cadence into a changeling who turns into Shiny, transform into Twilightalys herself, and marry Cadencing Armor. Problem solved.
8347266
that or in best night of your life.... remember to stretch
8131055
think it mean living organic matter but I could be worng
8131055
Pretty sure the writer meant LIVING organic matter. As in living beings.
What in all of Equestria did I just read and why was it so bad that it was funny?
8569801
8468943
Well, unfortunately, that's not what "organic" means. You two would be incorrect as well, if you used it like that.
8569909
Know I'd say we're spot on since in exact that's what said spell effects.
this is what twilight and shiny need to do, it simple,
find magic mirror jump though it find they counter parts and toss them though the mirror then blow it up and go into hiding. or
find magic mirror; make it look like they jump though it, blow it up and start new lives as country music stars on the other side of the planet
7873442
10 times the amount of all of them.
FINISH THIS! I need to know what the hell is going to happen next! Seriously! You can't just go through all that drama and leave it on the worst possible cliffhanger in existence!
By the way, this is one of the best stories I've read. Good job.