Twilight Sparkle sat at her desk in the quiet upper floor of her library. A dim, overcast sky greeted her out the window over the desk, providing a mediocre light to see with. Her quill rested idly, point first on the page with a faint purple light dancing around it. It, nor she had moved for minutes, maybe hours. A slowly expanding dot of dark ink resided under the point of the quill as if the blood of the paper slowly spilling forth. Blood.
Twilight shifted, a barely perceived movement of her head as she lowered it towards the page again. Her right forehoof drifted noiselessly up to her temple to give a soft massage. She stared expressionlessly at the only writing on the page, eyes softening and breathing growing a little stiffer. "Dear Princess Celestia," was written in her typical elegant fashion. Her handwriting was kept small to conserve space like she always had but that lead in was always a little bigger. As if she was afraid the Princess would be insulted by a slightly less grand salutation.
An impatient movement. Her attention shifted to the ink well again and she dipped her quill once more. A look of determination graced her face to masking a pained swallowing motion and she started writing once more.
"Recently I learned a very important lesson about friendship. I've learned it before in a different light, but an all new subtlety has been presented now. Nopony is two dimensional in this world. Everyday interaction shows only the surface of most, but I now realize that no matter what that individual looks like or how first impressions turn out, that there is an ocean of personality under that."
Twilight stared at her writing with a critical eye, a minor flash of disdain gracing her face before she gave a tired sigh. Dipping the quill again, she continued, "But that doesn't begin to do them justice. You have no idea what a pony can bring to your life just by looking. Worse yet, you have no idea what you're missing until you feel its absence. To assume or jump to conclusions is to rob yourself of so much potential happiness, that it threatens to overwhelm the senses if considered."
A darkening drop appeared and expanded near the bottom of the page, giving a barely audible impact. The lavender unicorn momentarily looked surprised before the expression melted into that of annoyance. She slid the entire paper over towards the waste basket, going for a new sheet at the same time with her magic.
Seconds passed as she froze in that position. Finally she seemed to come to a decision and slid the paper back in front of her with her right forehoof. She gave a quiet sigh and her quill lowered again. "The worst realization was more subtle, however. Sometimes lessons are learned too late. Sometimes there are no second chances. Sometimes... you're left with a hole that you can't mend. There are some things in this world in which there are no replacements. To give second chances when possible and a second impression when needed is one of the most important things you can give. To see past an awkward introduction or a shocking discovery and see the pony underneath might just surprise you. They might give back far more than you thought possible. I will never overlook this lesson ever again. This hole in my heart shall remind me for as long as I draw breath."
Twilight wiped at her eyes once again, letting the moisture soak into her coat before looking back down at the paper. Giving a soft smile, she carefully added, "Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle".
The paper carefully rolled itself up, a ribbon tying it off as Twilight sealed it and set her head down on the now damp desk. She stayed in that position until a light scratching came slowly up the stairs a few minutes later.
"Twilight? We should probably get going. Are you done with the letter?" the tiny purple and green dragon asked quietly, as if afraid to break the silence of the room.
Twilight exhaled gently before giving a nod, opening her eyes again. "Yeah. You don't need to send it though. I'll give it to her in-person, there," she replied quietly.
Spike gave a concerned look but nodded and slowly made his way back down the stairs. A few moments passed before Twilight managed to get herself out of the chair.
She slipped the rolled scroll into a light saddlebag, and tugged it on with her magic before carefully heading down the stairs. She drew to a stop at the bottom however, looking at the scrape marks on the last couple steps. Another lump formed in her throat and she swallowed painfully to try to banish it.
"Twilight," the young dragon spoke with a heavy concern in his voice. He waited patiently at the door for his oldest friend.
She nodded weakly before tearing her vision from the damaged wood. "I know. I'm coming," she assured. A measure of hesitation in her step, Twilight nodded to nopony in particular and headed out the door.
* * * * *
It was a chilly day, with winter coming on the horizon. A small gathering of ponies met in a tucked away corner of the woods, in a beautiful clearing with a flowing stream nearby. Most would pass it by without second glance if they even came to the clearing at all however, as it contained seemingly nothing out of the ordinary. A fresh pile of rocks was there today, though. It was a simple thing with writing carved into the base boulder they were all piled onto. It stood as a beacon, disrupting the natural feel of the clearing with something very natural looking yet obviously artificially constructed.
There were only eleven ponies there. Not many had known the pony whose name, briefly given, was on the rock. The apple siblings came; Applejack, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom. Fluttershy rested against Rarity for support, light tears still coming down her face. Sweetie Belle also sat at her sister's feet. Pinkie Pie stood next to Rainbow Dash, both looking uncharacteristically solemn. An upset looking Scootaloo stood next to Rainbow on the other side. Perhaps most outstanding of all were the two alicorn Princesses standing near the back. The royal guards were posted outside of the grove in this case. Twilight arrived with Spike on her back a few minutes later, appearing tired but managing a light smile towards the group.
She passed by them all before standing in front of the rock pile. Her saddlebag magically opened and she pulled her short, yet carefully prepared speech out. The cards it was written on drifted in front of her and she looked back up at the small stack of stones. She had spent all night writing it up, but oddly hesitated.
Half a minute passed and the other ponies started to give concerned glances to the lavender unicorn. Finally, she steeled herself and cleared her throat.
"We are gathered here today to remember. To remember and give thanks to a stallion who is no longer with us," she started slowly, seeming to lock her eyes urgently to the paper and away from anything else that might ironically remind her of the very topic.
A pause and slow exhale, followed up with, "Not many came to know him during his brief stay with us, but those who did were touched upon deeply. First impressions were rocky, but a hidden depth of soul resided within him just waiting to be discovered."
"Unfortunately, his stay was cut short by the nature of his existence. A great danger to Equestria presented itself, residing in the very nature of his being. Few knew of it, being the ones gathered today, but that made it no less grave," she drove on.
Stopping there, she looked back up at the stone, a shiver going through her. "But he didn't shy from it. He stepped up and confronted it head on, as brave as any of us. Sadly, the resulting fight cost him dearly. He..." Twilight continued, before trailing off and staring at the rock.
A long ten seconds passed. "Twi..." Applejack muttered quietly.
The lavender unicorn winced as if burned. She shivered again and her carefully prepared speech fell out of the air, landing uselessly on the forest floor. "He... No, I. I failed him. It was up to me to bring him back. Instead I not only p-put him and Rainbow Dash in danger by not thinking but..." she started to mutter rapidly, tears now sliding down her cheeks.
"Twilight, you," Applejack muttered, walking carefully up to her side.
Twilight shifted from her, staring at her speech in the dirt. "No! No. I didn't alert the Princess when I should have. I didn't think about the monsters being alerted by a stupid glowing streak of light coming out of the portal! And worst of all I was too slow. If I had pulled him back even a second later he... He'd still be..." she yelled angrily, directed at herself.
"Twi. Stop it. Ya did the best anypony 'ere could'ah done. Please, jus' rest fer a bit, okay? Let it out, instead'ah blamin' yerself," Applejack coaxed, sitting down quietly in front of Twilight.
Twilight shivered again and something seemed to visibly snap in her as the tears flowed openly. She slumped, and then buried her face in Applejack's shoulder. The country mare simply stayed silent and softly placed her forelegs around the tearful unicorn.
The beautiful white alicorn seemed to approach out of nowhere, placing a comforting hoof onto Twilight's back as she cried into her friend. "Even if not public, this sacrifice for the good of all Equestria will never be forgotten. It's most painful for those left behind, so stay with each other and know that the memories you already have will be yours forever," Celestia spoke, words strong and commanding yet infinitely gentle.
Twilight looked up at her with tears streaming down her face and nodded.
* * * * *
The gathering broke into gentle talking with memories being shared. It was a quiet, reserved event, the mood low but discussion pleasant. Eventually the yellow pegasus broke off from her friends and approached the stone by herself.
"I miss you already. I know I um, said some stupid things but please. P-Please forgive me. What uh, what I really wanted was to be with you, even if I lacked the c-courage to ever say that. I-I guess it's too late now but if y-you can hear me, I... I lo..." she quietly whispered before wincing and trailing off. Frustration building on her face, she leaned forwards and gently kissed the name on the stone before scampering back to her friends, now crying once more.
* * * * *
The white unicorn politely excused herself a short time later from a wonderful exchange with the Princess of the Sun. She bowed politely in parting and walked over to the stone where her little sister already sat. "I never did manage to make you anything, did I?" Rarity asked, mostly to herself it seemed.
"He wouldn't be mad," the young white filly replied quietly, not looking away from the stone.
"Are you alright Sweetie Belle?" Rarity asked, concerned.
The filly nodded quietly and touched the surface of the stone with a hoof. "He was a really nice stallion and I wanted to be his friend," she explained, sliding her hoof along the cool surface.
"I couldn't agree more," Rarity returned, sitting down with her sister for a while.
* * * * *
Applejack wandered over after she saw Rarity and Sweetie Belle leave, making sure to give them their privacy. Uncertain, she sat down in front of the stone pile and just stared for a few moments. She seemed to think to herself before nodding to nothing in particular.
"Ah never made up fer judgin' ya right harshly an' ah guess it's ah bit late fer it now. Ah respect ya fer it no matter what Rainbow says. Ya were ah right honest stallion. Ah just wish ya had been treated better fer it," she spoke, all at once as if saying her piece.
Apple Bloom and Big Mac joined her a minute or so later, the young filly smiling sadly and the large stallion holding a stoic expression of respect. A moment later, the youngest nodded and lightly touched the bottom rock. “You’re ah member of tha Crusaders, no matter what. Ah’ll try fer two marks, one o’ them fer you,” she offered, soft expression dwindling lightly.
Applejack smiled however and rested her right forehoof on the little filly’s head. “Ah think he already got his, lil’ Sis.”
The large stallion nodded in agreement with a soft spoken, “Eeyup.”
* * * * *
The bright pink mare eventually broke off from her friends, uncharacteristically walking in a normal fashion over to the stones in no particular hurry. She sat down in front of them, smiling softly but without her usual bravado.
"You could have said that you weren't coming back. I had one wild party planned, too. Ah well. I'll save up a lifetime of them for you and give em to you when we next meet, okay?" She offered quietly, watching the stone carefully.
A half minute passed and her tail and left foreleg twitched lightly. She smiled and nodded. "Good! And don't worry about them. I'll have 'em smiling again soon enough," she promised, before quietly standing and walking away.
* * * * *
The gathering was slowly starting to disperse. The cyan and rainbow pegasus lingered behind however. Approaching the rock, she stared expressionlessly at it for almost a minute. Her eyes lowered under her prismatic mane and she gave a weak sigh.
"I can't forgive you for what you did. I'm sorry. For a lot of things, really. You made me break a promise to my friends. I can't help but think I might have gotten you out faster had I been there. We could have saved you," she spoke, a hinting of anger in her voice.
Several seconds passed and she exhaled again, adding, "Still, I have to admit you had a ton of guts. You were a lot cooler than I gave you credit for. I'm glad we got to be battle partners."
She hesitated then let a puff of air out of her lips, blowing her bangs out of her eyes before wiping them with a forehoof. "Aw, phooey. I'm not any good at this stuff. I'll see ya later, Mender," she finally muttered before trotting after Pinkie Pie as she left.
Scootaloo smiled gently at the stone after watching Rainbow leave. She gently batted her hoof to her chest then jutted it out to the stone, a silent symbol of acceptance and respect formed too late.
* * * * *
Everypony was gone now. Everypony except the lavender unicorn mare who sat on her haunches in front of the stones. She had told them she needed a little alone time. The way she considered the stone indicated she didn't feel alone, however. Her conversation, while totally one sided, carried on with enthusiasm regardless.
"...but her shoulder was only nicked. Whatever hit her did a pretty good job of cauterizing the wound so I didn't have much trouble healing it. She shouldn't even have a scar! It's an advanced layering technique with the weaved magic. I should show you..." she continue.
The better part of an hour passed. Eventually, her conversation died down and she rested her head against the rocks, horn extending along the pile as it glowed softly with an inner light. "I, well I know they said it wasn't my fault but we both know the truth, don't we? I tried so hard to heal your body. It's just... not fair," she muttered, starting to get the rock wet as tears slid forth again.
A smaller rock slipped and fell off the top of the pile, lightly bouncing off her head. She winced, then smirked. "I guess that's a sign you disagree," she muttered, rubbing her head and floating the rock back into place with her magic.
"Still, even if she likes you, I can safely say I do too. I've been thinking a lot about it and decided that I wouldn't mind giving it a try. I know it's too late now but I guess I just wanted to say it," she added after a minute's hesitation.
There was no answer of course but she smiled anyway before curling up at the base of the stones. She could stay for a little longer yet.
* * * * *
The rock saw many things over the seasons. Not many ponies knew of its existence, let alone location. The only thing truly different was that once a year, six friends would slip away from Ponyville for a day. Of course, they each individually visited more often.
The beautiful yellow pegasus mare came to clean the stone quite frequently, always removing layers of dust and dirt during the summer months and snow during the winter ones. She'd spend a little time talking to it with each visit.
The little white filly came surprisingly often and frequently slept in the shade of the stone, feeling safe and protected there. The glade itself never seemed to wither, or tolerate harsh winds. Maybe a bit of his magic was still alive in the place and she could feel it?
Also frequent, the cyan mare that danced along the clouds would visit. She would always come with new stories of awesome stunts and victorious races. Much later, even with an announcement of making the Wonderbolts. She was often accompanied by the pretty orange mare who lacked wings. It wasn't a downside however, because her girlfriend was her wings instead.
The white mare with the beautiful mane visited often enough, frequently fussing over various decorations and flower arrangements for hours at a time, humming to herself in the silence. She refused to leave until the stone was decorated to perfection.
Even the pink party mare visited pretty frequently. She'd often dress the stone up with decorations and leave snacks for it. Once, she left a rainbow frosted cupcake for it before running away giggling.
Lastly, the lavender unicorn came as often as her studies allowed for. She rarely smiled, looking haunted by lost time instead when she visited. Maybe she missed things she could never have, or maybe she never forgave herself of her self-inflicted fault. She didn't speak of it to anypony other than the rock and it certainly didn't pass on her secrets.
Things went uneventfully for the rock, as such things often do. Not much changed until the orange mare visited by herself in the spring. She carried a wisp of a sapling with her in a saddlebag. A runt, like the pale blue stallion used to be.
As usual, she sat for a while in front of the rock, smiling gently. Eventually she spoke up softly. "Ah know this is probably silly o' meh but it feels right. We're not gonna be able ta keep ya company forever, as ah'm sure ya know. So ah'm gonna plant this here tree right behind ya," she explained gently, before pulling out a small shovel.
She only spent fifteen or twenty minutes on the job. The small tree stood proudly out from behind the stone and she nodded once, admiring her work. "There. When we're long gone, this here tree will always remind ya of us. An' hopefully, by tha time its turn comes, yah'll have yerself a right good forest here ta keep ya company. It's tha best ah can do," she muttered, sitting down in front of the rocks. All things ended, as she knew all too well now. Shortly thereafter, the cyan pegasus showed up to give her a lift.
Now the tree is massive, easily towering above its fellows in the much thicker forest around it, somehow almost eternally old. It stands as a sentinel in the long forgotten glade, a pile of old rocks grown into its trunk like they were meant to be there. Through the layers of moss and vines, a single name can still be seen carved into the largest one. Moon Mender. A long lost, forgotten soul just wanting to make a difference. Maybe he finally had.
The End
Note:
I normally don't do this, but technically as this is the last part of the full story, I figured I'd leave a little note at the bottom. This is the end of the story. However, there is one additional 'epilogue' after this that will get tacked on. It's optional. If you feel like stopping at this point, the story is wrapped up nicely and you obviously may. The second epilogue is actually a prologue for the sequel. You'll only need to read it if you plan on continuing Mender's story. If you wish to stop here, that's totally acceptable as well.
Regardless of what each reader decides to do, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I never expected this to get quite as popular as it was, and I'm glad for all of the kindness you guys and gals have shown. You really are a tribute to the show's values, and for that you should be proud. It was one heck of a ride and you all are awesome. So again, thank you.
For those of you reading on, I eagerly await your input for the sequel and our next adventure. I'll see you all there!
Signed,
Kiroberos
Good ending, but i'll be continuing on to read the prequel/second epilogue since I loved this story and would love to see Mender's story continued.
It was a little sad, but well written and nice to see how each would react to his funeral. They all seemed to be largely in character at least and while it was a solemn event i'm glad to see most of them held together well. As in my opinion the funeral is a time for celebrating one's accomplishments in life rather than mourning their passing.
Epilogue 2: Resurrection from the stone? Saved in time by magic? Only next chapter can tell! (I'm going with saved by Twilight's healing magic)
Edit: By the way, what's up with you always updating when I get home from work and check my tracked stories? I'm always 1-2 minutes after it's updated.
Welp, I feel sad. But I like the idea of a sequel!
I love this story. It's beautiful i except a really good sequel from you.
i cried for this but it was worth ending.
This was a great ending. The bittersweet endings are always the best.
Sequel..?
But.. Tree + massive = Twi 'n' others dead
Mender + sequel + tree + massive = Mender is alone, others are dead from age...
If you're going to make him resurrect after few centuries, I'm going to stop here...
If its an alternate ending; HECK YES! I want to read more of this...
I'm really bad with sad stuff... And I don't think I can endure Mender being all alone...
Love the story and it wraps up nicely. Looking forward to the sequel.
And now I'm about to cry in the middle of social studies.
Awesome story, looking forward to more.
Indubitably.
Mender...
I half expected him to raise from the dead
He's a fighter!
So, Mender was dead.....
BUT HE GOT BETTER!!!
SEQUEL MODE ACTIVATE!
NoooooO!
Mender couldn't have died!
I hope for a squel...right?
Jolly good show, story as well, Twilight is indeed devastated.
Heart broken forever...I think, unless she tries to move on.
That was beautiful. I can't wait for more.
All of my sad... Great chapter
images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw193_32854_-_cute_daw_filly_foal_Octavia_puppy_dog_eyes.png
It's so sad, I'm crying from reading this, no really I am. You filled this chapter with so much emotion, that I have to congratulate you for doing a great job on this story and I can't wait for the next story.
Amazing job with the ending, Krioberos. I don't enough words, so here's this:
i302.photobucket.com/albums/nn105/walkseva/ManlyTearsHaveBeenShed.jpg
About your note at the end. Well, I'm sure you know my answer.
That sir, was a wonderful ending for one of the most wonderful fanfics that I've had the pleasure of reading
Don't fucking cry...
Don't fucking cry...
Don't fucking cry...
...fuck.
That was beautiful, nothing more needs to be said. I legitimately look forwards to how exactly you continue this.
I loved this story, but no matter as good as it was the end, I will read the prologue...
Discord thinks that someone being dead is boring...
.... I don't really have much to say about this, aside from saying thank you. You and the others have made that long dark tunnel just a little bit brighter, both in your literature and on the comments.
Thank you, Kiro.
Fly safe,
Shriked.
. . .
Why? WHY!?
'Kir, the prologue better make up for all of the tears you caused me here. I DEMAND THE FIRST CHAPTER ASAP. In my head, Moon Mender stands beside Littlepip and Nyx in the hallowed halls of fanfiction fame. This needs to be put out there. Does EQD accept second submissions?
I hope to see Mender again in your sequel but hope that its in an alternate ending, i cant bare to see this character all alone without the mare or mares that he loves.
...
Okay, back to business. After reading through the whole story one more time I found one flaw that kind of bugged me. And that that the enemy kind of went from this kind of evil alien:
gamersland.com/data/alien.jpg
To this kind of evil alien a little too fast and too much.
images.wikia.com/disney/images/c/c4/H%C3%A4msterviel.jpg
The switch and combination is certainly possible (the grox as perfect example) but the dark evil race of bloodthirsty aliens that were introduced in the beginning do not really feel like the furry cyborg bunny's that are a bit too clumsy for a (almost) immortal space faring race. With their weapons being easily deflected by a single being. And they themselves feeling a bit too dumb and cartoonish evil (with the evil laughter and kind of dumb offers and all) etc etc etc...
This story made me shed a tear (more than one tear actually)...You are better at writing a story than you give yourself credit for.
...Okay, maybe I was not clear enough: this is the best THING I have ever read, exellently executed from start to finish and absolutely everything you can possibly compliment a story with. So there are words to describe how good this story is, just not enough space in this post to list them all. The only thing holding back a total breakdown is the realization there will be a sequel where mender WILL be alive in.
I was pissed off when I saw the title of this chapter. Then I started reading it and I got sad. Gah, why do pony related things keep screwing up my emotions?!
I has a sad.
Still, this is a great way to wrap up the story.
From all the fanfics I've read on this site this has to be one of the best I've ever read, so count me in for the sequel!
For a sad ending, this was beautifully done. Major props to you.
On an unrelated note, I liked how Pinkie twitches for dead people.
I'm not even gonna make a joke about this: I cried, and I cried HARD!
This was a great story and I can't wait to see what you're gonna do in the sequel!
Am I gonna follow the rest of his story? You should know me better Kiro
-Glassed
i.imgur.com/u2KPN.jpg
Damn. Just damn. I lack words.
That was so well done, I don't know if I can read the sequel with Mender being alive. How will it ever compare to this ending? Oh who am I kidding, I will stick with whatever you come up with since you seem to have the Midas touch. I feel this needs to go on EqD and I have never said that about a fic ever before. Brilliant just bloody brilliant.
a beautifully written ending to the story, I personally want Mender's story to continue but it was wrapped up well with this.
I look forward to the sequel. partial because I want to know how you could possibly continue this story and mostly because I'm confident any story you write will be worth reading.
...
One emoticon is all I need to express my feelings:
Kir, now that the story is finished, i gotta say, that it was an awesome feeling seeing on gmail an information about the update, it was awesome to read it. You did a great job. Though i look like this right now images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120205040048/mlp/images/thumb/1/14/Pinkie_Pie_S2_E13_About_to_cry.png/640px-Pinkie_Pie_S2_E13_About_to_cry.png I loved this fic. Seriously. It was perfect. Good job! *brohoof*!
And, don't expect me to finish at this point! I'm totally up to waiting for the sequel! Long live the waiting!
~Morning Dart
This... this touched me, right here.*puts hand on chest* No, really. The emotional impact if I didn't continue... I'm just not sure what would happen... I'd probably move on, get other stories, but there'd be a five-minute period there where I just wouldn't know what to do with myself.
I don't have much to say. This was probably the best "Traveler arrives in Equestria" story I have ever read (Even if most of those have been Humans coming to Equestria...)
I look forward to the sequel, although I am not sure how you can continue it from here. If Mender awakens hundreds of years after his "death" then all of his friends would have been dead already, but if he awakens right away a lot of this epilogue does not quite make sense.
I suppose I'll have to wait. I am looking forward to it regardless.
Such a bittersweet ending...
*Reads A/N*
Sequel?
P.S. I totally did not squeal like a fan girl
Such a good chapter, but I'm curious as to how a sequel would work since all the main characters have to be dead by the end.
This music fits perfectly for the chapter, so I recommend people listen to it while reading. It'll add to the experience, especially at the funeral scene.
I know how the mane 6 felt
I often talk (or silently talk) to my dead cousin, I was devastated to say the least
Great ending for a practly perfect fic
Sir you reached my 10/10 rate, I'll wait for the sequel
Dayum. Had a hard time holding in this stupid tears. I was torn how you would end this, but in retrospect I think this bittersweet ending suited the story best and was the finish the story and the characters deserved. Just perfect. With a small but content smile on my lips I can only say: Thank you.
manly tears. they have been shed.
291295 (Kiroberos) Okay, I would be having the exact same reaction as Yanari, except for the fact I know there is no way in hell that you would be able to write a sequel to this, considering the things we already know are supposed to be included in it, with him being dead. Just... not happening. So I'm going to guess alternate ending for the second epilogue considering way too much time passed for 'zombie mender' to rise from the grave. They probably all died of old age at the point that he would end up coming back at the end of this... oops, there I go again ranting and considering all the possibilities. I should quit doing that.
Yeah, feelings can be hurt if you're taking the game seriously. If not, then it's just fun. Joking around, laughing, and messing around will ensue with a group that's out to just enjoy themselves. Unless you're playing with or against people who will get all pissy when they lose, it's rather enjoyable. Thankfully the group I play with is extremely good so we end up stomping other players constantly. Much 'screwing around' occurs in those games... flippin' grenades...
Where did I go with the ending of that comment? Why, off into my own little world, of course.
M. Bison: OF COURSE!
Sorry to say, but I really feel that this was not a very good ending to this story at all. I mean, it's a total downer. So basically, protagonist was brought to Equestria and brings a grave threat with him, but in the end he neutralizes the threat, but dies in the process leaving his new friends to mourn him. So essentially, it would have been better for everyone if he had not come to Equestria at all. That's not an uplifting message, that's just downright depressing. Now yes I do understand that allowing Mender to live would not have had as much of an impact on reader, but couldn't you have compromised in some way? Maybe Twlight is able to teleport him back, but due to some strange occurance, he returns as a foal with no memory of his life before? This would allow Mender to truly have a second chance at life, allowing for something positive to come of all this, while resolving the Mender love triangle issue (don't think Twlight or Fluttershy are into foals). Still, for the most part, I did enjoy this story.
I am both happy and annoyed at that ending.
Don't get we wrong, it was brilliant and very well written... I just didn't want him to die :C
I kinda wanted him to live.
... He comes back as a zombie pony in the sequel, right?
Right.
He better.
another epilouge and a sequel? your too good man. this story was awesome. but sad
Well done. So sad. I am very interested in how this will continue.
Well done man, well done.
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I am so sad about this ending (especially with unrequited love) but glad that there's a sequel.
Thanks for this story kb, it was one of the best.
Sincerely,
Layne T. Pegasus
NOOOO!
this cant be the end...
I refuse to believe this blasphemy!!!
You know, this ending broke my heart...
I think one of the pieces was atomized and is now with mender... drifting in space...
Now i'm sitting here trying to find the remaining pieces... I know there around... somewhere...
This was one of the best stories I have every read here on fim fiction
I have to say I absolutely loved it and please continue writing the sequel... though i'm not sure my heart can take much more
Sincerely- Enmar
Exceptional story. I like almost all stories I read, but this was simply exceptionally great.
Somehow you took an OC, which I usually take with a grain of salt, and managed to get me to care about what happens to him. You managed to develop him and what he really was at the core very well. I think Twilight's last letter was more than appropriate, and sums up how I feel about him.
There is no maybe, I WILL read the sequal, because mane six or no, I am invested enough in mender alone that I WILL follow his story through all his hardship and trials to the end, no matter how it does finally end.
Your faithful reader, Raven
words cannot describe on how amazing this fic was
~no comment~
now if you'll excuse me...
I am sad now, excellent story, I will look forward to the sequel.
Well done dude, looking forward to the sequel, let his legend live on!!!