I'm gone now but you can keep my stories I guess.
Perhaps Doctor Whooves is not a medical doctor or a time lord, but a doctor of psychology.
The following are his journals after he receives instructions from Princess Celestia to permanently set up shop in Ponyville to keep an eye on Twilight Sparkle and her friends, where he learns more than he bargained for.
View the Google Docs table of contents: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gCeHce9BTZ48P5fxNQDHq7diYlNqJIbkZNdMGLN3H5k/edit?pli=1
Page generated in 0.208 seconds
Total duration
898 users online
579,054 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
how did this get such a low rating. is that bot at it again
Yeah seriously, who gave this a 0.5? Sure it isn't a 5, but I'd give it at least a 4
So this is all him recording his daily activities? In that case you might want to take notice of your writing. You switch between him recording and him in the streets himself. You could have an interlude, and go from recording, to him remembering in a flashback, but you need some form of warning when you do that. That can be as simple as a few x's or something.
Nice story, tracking and helping a bit with the bad rating
-Glassed
>>Glassed
I do have particular trouble with tense
With the exception of the muzzle-written note at the beginning, these will be recorded on his phonograph at the end of the day, and as such are supposed to be what would be a word for word recording at the time. So things that are "still" current at the time that the "recording" was made are put in present tense like they would be said, and what he is recalling is past tense, like you might say when telling a story. That's what I was aiming for, anyway.
You're right, some kind of bar would be in place, especially if I was writing the entire thing in past tense. And would be clearer. Thank you for constructive criticism!
Most don’t even realize the have them!” Rarity informed.
I think your missing a 'Y' there. But other then that, fantastic! A big fan of time-traveling Whooves, It's nice to see see some other interpretations! Also, they way you expressed his intelligence through vocabulary was awesome
>>ThatFriendlyBronie
Thank you, and fixed!
Well this is the first piece that mentions the new foals.
Anyways, I'm tracking. I can't wait to see where this goes. Maybe somepony has autism!
Uuuh, getting better and better
-Glassed
I look forward to reading what happens next in your story
This is brilliant.
sadanduseless.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/681.jpg
I love how much of a flankhole you made Dr. Whooves.
Happy Derpy-gets-a-voice episode, everypony (I swear it is a coincidence, I had this story finished last night
)
B-b-b-b-b-b-buzzkill!
Oh poor Whooves
-Glassed
Ditzy uses 'I have a kid'
It's super effective.
Whooves is inflicted with blue balls
Excellent
He's smitten, couldn't be more obvious
lol
Ok would tell you that your characterization is great, but that is kind of the point of the story. Instead I will just say that I'm looking forward to more for now.
Oooooo, the plot thickens. Can't wait for more!
♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪
Ahh, another chapter of good old Doctor Whooves
-Glassed
Hah, I'm glad I stumbled upon this fic. I couldn't stop reading up until the latest chapter.
You're writing Whooves as a really interesting character. I don't know how people usually picture him, but being kind of a plothole makes him that much more interesting.
And chapter 6 was the best of them all so far. It managed to provoke both laughter and an 'awwww' in me, keep up the good job.
Also, damn, man, you are fertile when it comes to writing. 6 chapters in about 2 weeks? Wow.
Oh, one more thing. The only thing that rubs me the wrong way sometimes are the references. They sometimes are kinda cringeworthy. The comment about plot getting 20% thicker in 10 seconds flat literally made me facepalm, rendering the fic's soothing effect on my headache null. That's about the only problem I got with this. Have a track, looking forward to more of this
>>McNeil
Funny thing is, when I started this, I wasn't planning on making him that way; but I'm glad it came out that way. Means room for improvement
I wasn't planning on shipping anypony either, but that obviously changed.
The pace might be slowing down a bit, what with school picking up and my newfound talent in vector work. But I have a week break + the summer off, so expect this to continue, and eventually, finish.
About references: Oop, didn't even think about that. I just get in brony-mode and go nuts. I'll tune those down in upcoming chapters.
Thanks for the review!
It's hard to get people to some out and give their real opinions sometimes, but it really does help me when writing!
Thanks for the tracks, favs, and comments y'all! You will be rewarded with an update eventually
fantastic
Every time a chapter ends, I get sad, because that means I'll have to wait for more! However, come next chapter, it's all worth the wait.
Can't wait for more!
Whooves seems to be breaking things at a faster pace than he is fixing them.
lol
Oh my God, the wait paid off.
I know Whooves is responsible for getting himself in all different kinds of mess, but that doesn't stop me from feeling sorry for him.
And that's exactly what I love about this fanfic. It really provokes emotions in me. You, as a writer, are doing your job perfectly.
And the ending part was so damn heartwarming... I need a shot of insulin. Or two.
NEED MORE OF THIS FIC.
Me Gusta Mucho!
...That's Spanish for "following this so hard."
Tracking. I like fics that subvert all the Time Lord nonsense around the Doc. It seems he's practically a vulcan on the emotional front. Or a robot.
♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪
Gotta kick a little at this. Pinky Pie is hardly that fragile. It took all of her friends avoiding her for days and an outright proclamation by spike that they hated her parties and didn't want to be her friend anymore to push her into a Pinkamena outbreak.
Sorry for the wait, I'm juggling 2 school papers and a big vector project atm
>>RealityCheck
I realized that, but iirc it did occur over the course of a day in that episode. Also, she was upset because she thought her friends were lying to her... Whooves made no such illusion. That's also why I made the symptoms of her outbreak different (sad and dissapointed, not mad). Maybe I should have made that more clear? Thanks for the review! Constructive criticism is always welcome
...
And thanks for all the comments in general everypony! They keep me going.
Brace yourself. The grammar-nazies are coming for that letter
-Glassed
I think somepony's drunk.
Is the fear of baseballs thing from Progress?
This is amazing, it's also a nice change from the Time Lord genre of Dr Whooves! Can't wait for more.
In fact.. I MUST HAVE MORE!
Good luck on the rest of it, I'll be waiting.
Hmm, it appears that the strikethroughs didn't hold over from Google docs. Not too important, I guess, but there's supposed to be a lot of marked-out stuff on the letter. FimFic apparently has no provision for strikethrough?
And yes, the baseball thing is a referance to Progress, but it's not important. I just needed something random to put there. This letter will be explained more in the next chapter
This is a genius fic that doesnt get nearly as much attention as it deserves. Im loving it a hundred percent, and sincerely hope it keeps up. So many good fics just stop, especially on FIMFiction
217802 my bet is that Luna interrupted celestia while she wrote the letter and messed it up. 200 bits down and ready good sir!
"(...) Open house, so bring a friend if you want. If you have any.”
0.tqn.com/d/chemistry/1/0/-/e/fireice.jpg
Anyway, I really liked that chapter. While it didn't have enough Whooves/Ditzy interaction (no chapter does, but that's one of the things that keep readers waiting patiently, you magnificent bastard) and was pretty uneventful, it was pure fun to watch Whooves become frustrated as he's struggling in his quest not to be socially retarded. Worth the wait, I hope the next chapter pops up a bit sooner.
By the way, ever submitted this to EqD? This fic deserves more love.
Have an update! I worked on this till midnight last night so my prereader could do her thing before she left for the weekend.
>>McNeil
I'd rather not send this to EqD yet. Their prereaders are getting bogged down as it is, they don't need my horseapples of a fic too. Additionally, chapter updates are required to be over 3000 words... I could lump chapters together, but... eh. I will probably go through another round of editing once it's done and submit it as a one-shot. Thanks for thinking it worthy though
And I promise more Whooves/Derpy interaction in the next chapter
>>NoponyNoir
Dayum, you nailed that
Whooves didn't break anything? He must be getting out of touch with his inner meanie.
This is the most awesome thing I've ever read here, not to mention any fanfiction. Too bad my work sucks, heh. The characterization is just so brilliant. I'm sure no one cares about this sort of flank-kissing rant, but it needed to be said.
I always catch the awkward tail-end of a conversation. I know how you feel, Bonbon
I love how casual of a feel this fanfic has, it's just a fun read that I look forward to sitting down with when i see it update. I also love the Ditzy/Doctor relationship going.
I just love it! <33 Keep that stuff comming, can't wait for new parts :3
>>nowego What can I say, My pinkie sense was tingling
. Also you owe me 200 bits
!
Jolly good, as always. As for submitting this to EqD as a oneshot, I'm sure it is better than most of the stuff they receive. The way I'd go about it is just go through it and edit out some mistakes and submit it as multiple chapters, since it's a bit lengthy to submit it as a oneshot.
Waiting for the next chapter, as always.